A/N: *evil grin*  I have decided to be evil.  How?  Weeeeeell, you'll just have to wait and see.  MWAAAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

All the HP char's appear in a plain white room with lots of beanbags and cushions (beanbags are FUN!).

Harry: Um, where are we?

Hermione: I don't know.

Draco: *fake gasp*  The Mudblood doesn't know for once!

Harry & Ron: SHUT UP FERRET!

Draco: *growl*

Snape: *scowls at everyone and leans against a wall*

Sirius: What's going on?

Snape: *sneers at Sirius*  If we knew that we wouldn't be here.

Sirius: Shut up you snake.

Snape: What a weak little comeback for you Black.

Sirius: *snarl*

Hermione: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!

Everyone: *stares at Hermione*

Hermione: *looks at feet*  Um….

Harry: Yea…anyone know how we can get out of here?

Draco: I think we've already gone over that Potty.

Harry: Shut up Ferret.

Draco: Um….NO.

Harry: *lunges at Draco*

Fred: Who do you think'll win?

Ron: 10 Sickles on Harry!

Snape: *smirks* Draco.

Sirius: Bad choice.  Harry's going to pummel your little Slytherin Snape.

Snape: *growl*

Remus: *drags Sirius away*

Meanwhile, I enter the room and watch the fun.

Neville: Hey, who's that?

Ron: *looks from fight*  Who?

Neville: *points at me* That person in the corner.

Ron: Snape?

Snape: *glares at Ron*

Hermione: THE OTHER CORNER!

Everyone: *stares at Hermione*

Hermione: *sits on a beanbag*

Me: Hello guys.

Sirius: Who are you?

Me: I'm the author.

Remus: So you're the one that brought us here?

Snape: How intelligent you are werewolf.

Sirius: *snarl*

Me: Boys, boys, no fighting.

Hermione: Draco and Harry are fighting.

Me: *smiles*  And Harry's winning.

Hermione: BUT THEIR FIGHTING!

Me: AND YOU'RE ANNOYING!  *snaps fingers and Hermione is wrapped up in duct tape*

Hermione: Mrrrrphapha….

Me: Much better.

Dumbledore: Perhaps we should stop the fight.

Me: Oh COME ON, Albus, let um fight.  Harry's pummeling Draco.

Dumbledore: That doesn't mean anything.

Me: To me it does.  And I'm the author.  What I say goes.

Dumbledore: I'm the headmaster.

McGonagall: Yes, he is.

Me: Yer point cat woman?

McGonagall: I AM NOT A CAT WOMAN!

Me: Riiiight.  *snaps fingers and McGonagall is a cat*

McGonagall: MROW!

Snape: *smirks*  I think she's much better as a cat.

Me: I agree.

McGonagall: *hisses and swipes at Snape's leg*

Snape: *stuns her*

Me: BAD KITTY!  *stuffs McGonagall in a cage*  NOBODY HARMS SNAPE WHILE I'M AROUND!!!

Sirius: *smirks at Snape*  I think you have a fan.

Snape: Impossible.

Sirius: So you thought.

Harry: *stares at me*  You LIKE Snape?

Me: What?  I like Sirius too!

Sirius: Eww…

Me: WHY YOU…

Sirius: I mean, HOORAY!  *fake grin*

Remus: *snorts*

Me: *pats Sirius' cheek*  Much better.

Snape: *laughs*

Me: What are you laughing at boy-o?  I ain't even started with YOU.

Snape: *blinks and pales*

Sirius: *falls on floor laughing*

Remus: This author is crazy.

Me: CRAZY AM I?

Remus: Er, yes.

Me: *smiles*  You're lucky you're a werewolf Remus.  If you weren't Herm would have company in duct-tape-mummy-land.

Hermione: *glares*

Ron: I didn't know Hermione knew how to glare.

Hermione: *eyes glow red*

Neville: AH!  HER EYES ARE GLOWING!

Ron: *gulp*  I didn't know she could do that either.

Me: It's my story.  I can do what I want.  Like….  *snaps fingers and Hermione turns into a copper colored dragon with red eyes*

Hermione: *roars and flicks out her tongue at Ron*

Ron: *gulp*

Harry: Um, how did that happen?

Me: Me.

Dumbledore: Me, Me makes no sense.

Me: IT DOESN'T HAVE TO DUMBLES!

Sirius, Harry, Remus: DUMBLES?

Me: WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

Snape: Its extremely stupid.

Draco: *rubs head*  I agree.

Me: *sneers at Draco*  I never liked you Ferret.

Draco: Feelings mutual.

Harry & Ron: Very much so.

Hermione: *snorts*

Me: What should we do to the Ferret?

Hermione: *breaths fire*

Me: As good as that sounds we can't burn him Herm.

Ron: *frowns*  Damn!

Sirius: DON'T CURSE!

Harry: You do Sirius.

Sirius: THAT DOESN'T MATTER!

Me: Sure it does.

Sirius: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!

Me: BAD DOGGY!  *snaps fingers and Sirius is in his Animagus form*  Much better.

Harry: *stares*

Snape: *smirks*  Not much of a difference.

Sirius: *growls*

Me: *whacks Sirius on the nose*  NO GROWLING AT SNAPE!  THAT'S MY JOB!

Snape: *pales*

Remus: *coughs*

Me: *hugs Snape*

Snape: *pales more*

Harry: *laugh*

Ron: THE AUTHOR HAS A CRUSH ON SNAPE!

Me: I DO NOT!

Sirius: *barks*

Remus: *laughs*

Draco: Even I agree with the Weasel.

Ron: Be still my heart.

Me: *turns Draco into a Ferret and bounces him around the room*

Harry, Ron, Remus: *fall over laughing like mad*

Dumbledore: This is very wrong.

Snape: *nods and tries to pry me off*

Me: *clings*

Snape: GET HER OFF!

Dumbledore: *smiles*  Easier said than done.  I'm sure you can handle it Severus.

Snape: ALBUS!

Dumbledore: *vanishes*

Me: *hugs Snape*  Heheheheh.  Your at my mercy now Sev.

Snape: *moans*  Why me?

Harry: It's your charming good looks.

Ron: Yea!  *laugh*

Snape: *glares at the two*

Me: Everyone can go now!

Everyone: HOORAY!

Me: *evil grin*  Except for Sev of course.

Snape: *groan*

Harry: *waves*  Have fun Professor!

Ron: *doubles over with laughter*

Hermione: *returns to normal and chuckles softly*

Sirius: *also normal again with a huge, goofy grin on his face*  And I thought you'd never find someone ye slimy git.

Snape: *growl*

Remus: *chuckles*

McGonagall: *normal too and glaring at everyone*  EVERYONE GET BACK TO HOGWART'S NOW!

Me: *grins*  That's exactly where your going Professor.  Bye guys!  I'll see you all later!  And I promise to return Sev soon!

Everyone: *groans and vanish*

Me: Now how bout we have some fun?

Snape: *moans*  What did you have in mind?

Me: *waves a hand*  Oh, killing Voldemort and Pettigrew and doing some very nasty things to Fudge and that bloody git of a Skeeter woman.

Snape: *blinks*

Me: What?  I ain't all sugar and sweetness.  I'm insane and I really don't like them.  Add in Lucius Malfoy and we've got a full house.

Snape: *smiles slightly*  Sounds…interesting.

Me: Good.  Want to join me?

Snape: Certainly.

The room becomes empty and from far off comes my insane cackling as I turn old Voldie into a cute little bunny rabbit and turn him over to a vet as a rabid animal that should not be in the wild.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am not only insane; I am also quite evil when I want to be.  ^__^  So, what did ya'll think of my insane little conversation?  For those who have not read my little bio-thingy, YES, BY GOD, I AM A SERIOUS SNAPE FAN.  SUE ME! (yes, that is a figure of speech)  =D  Moving on!  Read, enjoy, and review.  It costs nothing and all you have to do is press the little button in the bottom left hand corner of your screen.

Enjoy.

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