Author Notes:
So I ended up writing this last night between 11:30p-3am. I'm still not positive where this came from. Or how I feel about it. Here it is, basically as I wrote it, with just some editing for grammar. Any feedback would be appreciated. Julian & Logan belong to CP Coulter.
If you haven't heard of or read Dalton by CP Coulter I highly recommend it. It can be found on this site at .net/s/6515261/1/
It was slightly cold out on the balcony of their condo at night but Julian couldn't sleep. His mind was racing causing his insomnia. The past few weeks had been hectic. He had wrapped his latest project almost a month ago and Logan had graduated from UCLA the week after.
It was a nice change to have sometime by themselves. The past year had been busy for both of them. They had seen each other only in passing for months at a time which put some strain on their relationship. They had both been dedicated to making it work though and had managed to get through it. Julian had always been so sure of his relationship with Logan and what he had wanted in it. That was until now...
The platinum band on his left ring finger caught in the light of the city. He saw this and sighed.
Their anniversary had been the week after Logan's graduation. They had managed to stay together for 5 years; since the summer after junior year at Dalton. Logan had been focused on the future, their future, for some time now. He didn't see the point. They were together: happily and relatively peacefully, they were still them. That was all Julian wanted.
Logan had wanted more though. He spoke of when they were both old and gray, of wanting a house with a yard, even possibly having a child somehow. Each time he had brought it up Julian hadn't been sure how to feel...
Logan had proposed to him on their anniversary which didn't surprise him. He wasn't thrilled about it though. When he saw Logan looking at him so expectantly, actually down on one knee which shocked the hell out of him, he knew he couldn't say no. He could never deny Logan anything.
It wasn't that he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with Logan. He did. He had been in love with Logan for 8 years now and didn't think that would change. He hadn't ruled out the possibility of children either. He knew that in spite of his relationship with the senator Logan would be a wonderful father. The problem is he did not believe in the institution of marriage. He hadn't since he was child.
He remembered his parents divorce vividly. The years of arguments that had lead up to it. Lots of fighting and pretending that everything was fine. He learned to act at a very young age. When things got worse names and accusations were thrown around in public as much as any objects near by were in private. There was a reason why Logan's destructive rages hadn't phased him at Dalton.
He remembers their last fight the most. It had been over him, to determine who gained custody. The worst part was the fight wasn't really over him, but for control of the potential career he would have when he was older. It was over who would get the control of the money he made. Thinking about it still makes him sick to his stomach. To think about the people who were supposed to care for him and love him unconditionally treating him as a commodity.
If watching his parents own marriage fall apart wasn't enough to cause him to lose faith in the institution the fact that he lived in Hollywood was enough to. Here marriage was just a way to gain attention and publicity, not something permanent or sacred.
It was important to Lo though. That much was clear. He saw it as a way of saying forever, of committing themselves. Julian didn't know what to make of it. He had always assumed that after watching his parents marriage fall apart in scandal Logan wouldn't be eager to get married.
Julian heard the door slide open and then felt a pair of arms encircle him so that Logan held him from behind.
"What are you doing up so late? It's almost 3 am." Logan asked.
"Just thinking. Why are you up?" Julian replied.
"You weren't in bed. I don't sleep well when you're gone. What were you thinking about?"
"My parents, your parents, our engagement..." Julian let that last one hang in the air.
Logan was quiet but tensed his hold on Julian before his hesitant question "Are you...do you not want it...?"
"I was thinking about my parents divorce. Everything that lead up to it. The arguments. The fights. I remember hearing that they were happy together before they got married, but the only memories I have of them they were fighting and in misery, or else pretending that everything was fine. Then I think about the scandal that ended your parent's marriage. I can't help but wonder if marriage is a mistake. I don't want to end up hating you Lo. I really do want to stay with you for as long as I can, but I wonder if getting married is the way to go about that."
There was a few minutes of silence while Logan though about this and Julian began to panic thinking he had pushed Logan away. Then Logan gave Julian a squeeze and kissed him softly on top of his head.
"We're not our parents Jules. We're not going to let that happen to us. I can safely say we love each other more than my parents ever did, and its probably safe to say the same about yours. I want to marry you because I love you. I plan to spend the rest of my life with you if you'll let me. Getting married or not doesn't change that fact. I want to get married to declare that you are mine and to show the world that I love you. If that isn't something you want...then we don't have to. You are what is most important to me."
Julian laughed softly. "You know you're quite sentimental when you're half asleep, Lo." This earned him a playful slap from the other man. "You are right though."
"So Julian Larson-Armstrong, will you do me the incredible honor of marrying me and we can show everyone that we're better than our parents?"
"Yes Lo, I would love to."
"Then let's go back to bed."
With that Logan let go of Julian and headed back inside leaving him on the balcony. Julian took one more look at the lights of the city before heading inside. As he walked to bed he though that this was the right decision for them. They would get married, continue to be happy, and show everyone that they were not their parents.