Joshua Hewett The Wind
Good evening children, I am what you would call the voice in the wind. Yes, that's right. I'm the wind, and I do talk. If you're confused, think of the phrase: I'm the whisper in the wind. If you're still confused well, too bad, just go with it. My advice to you is just don't laugh. I have a hard enough time as it is trying to keep up my spring breezy reputation, but some idiot will complain about me and oh boy, you'd better be underground.
I listen to everything that goes on outside of your fancy skyscrapers, and big shiny new houses, so who better to tell a story then by someone you don't even think twice about, except for the people who live in New Mexico, damn bastards, they're always complaining about me. I will blow that state off the face of the Earth if its the last thing I do.
Anyway enough of me rambling, I'm here to tell you a story of four people who come camping out in my territory one night, and let's just say they'll have a new outlook on their lives. I don't really know their names, nor do I really care, as I'm just here to tell a story.
It begins in the following way: A group of friends went out camping one night. This group of friends was made up of a boy who wears glasses, a girl with long blonde hair, a boy with black hair and round features, and a girl who had long brown hair and also who also wears glasses. They were having a great time until one of them realizes that they forgot the food. After arguing, the two guys went looking for food with their flashlights, due to me knocking their ice chest over. The two searched, and they found some food that had a spherical top with a stem coming out of the top, some berries that had spikes on them, and a type of plant that had a weird star shape on it. They brought it back to their friends and they all ate everything that the two guys brought and later they all just sat around the fire and just looked up into the stars and the moon, where they saw many different things. The way how I am able to know about what they saw is through what it was they were mumbling about inside of their visions, and I have a pretty good idea what it was that they all saw.
Let's start off with the boy with the glasses. The boy with glasses loved to play video games, and watch movies all day long. He would often times scheme to sit down and play a game all day, even to the point of lying to his parents about him doing his homework when he hasn't ever completed the assignment. Hell he hasn't ever done a single homework assignment in his whole life. The only reason how he made into college was because he paid someone to his homework for him. The two people he usually paid was his two friends, the boy with the round features, and the girl with glasses and long brown hair. He usually tells them to always give credit to where credit is due, but he never does it himself, making him a hypocrite.
Now some of you might know this to be a fact of life, in that you should never ever be a hypocrite. Meaning that you wouldn't do something and then go right ahead and do it after you told that person no to do what you just said. I believe there is a phase that could explain better what I basically just said. What was it? Oh yeah: Do as I say, not as I do. And that is just what this boy had done in the past just before coming on this trip with his friends, and after eating all of that forest trash, and in his vision he saw this person appear in the moon.
This person in the moon challenged him to a race in this dreamy like circus, with glowing monsters of giant proportions. These monsters were varied in colors and what they looked like. One was neon red with a road in the mouth as part of the race track, another monster that was bright yellow and would just try to trip you if you drove right through it, and two monsters that were dark blue and blended into the background that would throw things at the racers.
The entire area itself was full of stars, and carnival like rides that were controlled by the monsters as they were the ones that controlled the attractions that were on this racetrack that the boy with the glasses was seeing.
The race began to start as the boy with glasses was in his car. The car itself was an actual monster that was black and purple , and the headlights of the car was the actual monster's eyes. The headlights turned a bright green and the moon raced out of the starting line with a loud buzz. In case if you are wondering yes the moon is actually racing, it actually sprouted arms and legs and is just running. I also should mention that the moon has the face of the person the boy with the glasses has wronged. Hey these people had a bunch of hallucinogens what did you expect.
Back to the story, the moon was in the lead while the boy with glasses was in second place. He chased after the moon, through the monster that had a road inside of its mouth, and dodging the blue monster that bowled a giant bowling ball at the boy with glasses. Nothing was going his way, but when he hit the bright yellow monster, it spun him out of control and off of a cliff. The last thing he saw was the person he was a hypocrite to in the moon, then things went very dark for him.
It's only natural for human beings to procrastinate. However, if you procrastinate for too long it can leave you in big trouble. Such as if you put off fixing a paper for a final in a english class by watching movies all the time, or if you simply put off doing a chore because you simply don't want to do it. This is all what the girl with the long blonde hair was supposed to do before she was allowed to go on this trip with her friends.
The girl with the long blonde hair, does not like school very much. To her she finds it to be the most boring place on the entire planet. She would often times find ways to not go. Such as faking an illness, or "accidently" killing a family member. (It's nothing major, it's usually a fish that she would usually kill.) So when she tired of "accidentally" killing a family member, and she heard that her brother, the boy with glasses, was going on this camping trip she tagged along by blackmailing her brother to let her come, much to his dismay.
Now to the present, when the girl with the long blonde hair was beginning to wake up from her food coma, in the middle of the whole forest, the trees began to develop faces that looked close to what a fishes mouth looks like, except the leaves were forming large sets of teeth that were very sharp to the touch. These trees started to move closer to her and she got up and began to run. She ran and ran, each time the trees kept moving closer and closer to her scaring her to death, but she managed to find a cave and ran to the inside of it. She was catching her breath, when a huge gigantic fish grabbed her and took her to the trees.
The giant fish let her go at the base of the cave she tried to get up, but each tree fish latched themselves to her wrists, and would not let her go. The began to circle around her and began to chant "Kill us. Kill her," over and over. When another giant fish came around the corner. This fish was a bit different from the first giant fish, as this one was actually colored with some of the colors being reds, greens, yellows, and blues, and this one was way bigger than the first fish, and had more sharper teeth. This fish told all of the other fishes back off of the girl except for the first giant fish.
The two giant fishes swam in the air, as they were the entire time. (Should've mentioned that earlier, oh well.) And each of them began to literally tear the girl with long blonde hair apart, as each of her screams began to get quieter and quieter.
Greed. Is it like obsession I dunno, but I'm telling the story, so whatever. Greed is what a bunch of people use to describe someone who has the color green in their eyeballs, or whenever their swimming in that green like paper substance known as money. I should know what that is. That stuff is always blowing in my presence. It is always fun to watch a bunch of you people try and steal it from me usually to no avail, however some asshole will do stop at nothing to obtain their own desires no matter the cost. Hmmm... I guess that is the difference between obsession and greed. This is the lesion the boy with round features will be learning tonight.
The boy with round features loves animals and will go to great lengths to get them. From exotic animals like Zebras, to common animals to house cats. He will stop at nothing to claim the animal. Heck even one time he stole animals from a pet store, by enlisting the help of the girl with the long blonde hair. He didn't get arrested however as the boy with glasses told him about the camping trip and he left with his friends to escape the police.
When the boy with round features opened his eyes he saw an animal he had never seen before appear right in front of him. This animal was large with horns at the top of the head, and striped fur that was blue and red. The eyes were electric yellow. It's snout was long and narrow, about as long as a wolf's but more narrow than that. Finally the tail was so long that it dragged on the ground that the fur on the tip picked up dried leaves, and made the fur hard enough that that the tail could be used as a club. Amazed by this animal, the boy with round features followed this animal through the forest.
As the boy with round features followed the animal, ground was bouncing up and down, kinda like in a cartoon where the ground is bubbly and everything looks very squishy. That was beginning to make the boy with round features very nauseated he almost puked, but he continued after the animal. After an hour has passed and still chasing after it, the animal led the boy with round features to a lake. The animal jumped into the lake and swam under the water. The boy dove in after it, with each minute he was under the water everything for him was getting darker, and darker.
Sometimes in life it is a good choice to be a bit naive. It can keep you out of trouble and get good grades in school. However it can lead you into some poor life choices, such as accidentally revealing secrets to friends that shouldn't even find out about those secrets, or being completely oblivious to the world around you. In turn causing you to end up getting into situations you have no business even being in. So in our final vision of the night our victim, er, I mean camper, will soon learn about the choices of naivete, and how much trouble it can land you in, when you step into my land.
The girl with the long brown hair has always been naive all of her life. To her schooling, and innocence were very important to her, as she feared her parents. To her she doesn't ever want to let them down, and have them kick her out of her house. She kept this up for the most of her life. Until she met the boy with the round features, and the boy with glasses. These two when she met them they were in their freshmen year of college, and began to lead her down a wrong path. Such as the boy with glasses making her do his homework, and babysitting the girl with the long blonde hair. She was however beginning to get tired of her friend taking advantage of her and, so she set up this camping trip to try and kill them. When they arrived at their campsite she found a place where all of the hallucinogens were at and she had them set up there, knowing that she could try and feed them the berries and plants to them while they slept. So when I was goofing off and blew all of their food away and the two boys brought the hallucinogens to them she knew she was in trouble. She ate some of the plants, and fell asleep.
The girl with long brown hair and glasses, had gotten off the ground, and started to look for the others. She didn't really take too much of the plants and berries as the others did, but she took enough for her to have visions in the forest, and have an understanding of her surroundings. As she walked through the forest, a subway sandwich appeared out of nowhere. This sandwich had legs and the ham and the pastrami formed the tongue, the sesame seeds formed the eyes, and the lettuce formed the arms and legs. She figured it was just a hallucination from all of the food she had earlier, and shrugged it off, but the subway sandwich threw itself right at her, getting mustard on her clothes, causing her to run away screaming. After running, the girl with long brown hair and glasses hid underneath the trees, and she was cursing her own naivete for allowing her friends for making her take the food that made her have these visions in the first place. When the coast was clear she stepped away from the trees and was stopped by a giant robot with a giant metal claw, wearing red converse sneakers. The claw tried to grab her, but she got away from it in time, then the foot of the robot tried to squish her she then ran away from it. The robot tried to grab her again, but she ran right into a tree where the subway sandwhiches were hiding their young. All of the sandwiches started to swarm right on top of her and started to poke holes in her skin, and the girl with long brown hair and glasses collapsed right on to the ground.
Well kiddies, I believe it is time to end our tale for this evening. As I'm sure you all figured out by now that all of the people whom were in the story I just told you are dead from their hallucinations, but I should tell you how they died in real life. The reason why I was telling you the story of these four friends was partially as a cautionary tale, but for the most part it was completely out of boredom, and I just wanted to come out and bull shit some humans as the problem for all of them began when I dumped their ice chest on the ground. That's how I caused their deaths in the first place in the following ways.
Now I'm pretty sure, that you were able to figure out how the boy with round features died, with him drowning in the lake that he dove right into. In his vision he was chasing after some sort of mysterious animal, when in real life he was chasing after a speck of dust that I was blowing around, and it landed right into the lake. What's that, dust only floats on water you say, well that's the thing. This boy was so consumed by his own greed, he dove into the water thinking he saw this piece of dust, and he never came back up to receive some more air.
For the girl with the long blonde hair. Her procrastination killed her through the guilt of the fish that she killed over the years trying not to get to school. The way she died was began when I was blowing around all of the trees, causing her to freak out and run into a cave with a bear cub inside of it. Her panting woke up the cub and it chased her out of the cave, and she ran into the mother of the bear cub. The mother bear lunged at the girl with the long blonde hair, and began to tear the girl limb from limb along with the bear cub.
Recall when I mentioned the word hypocrisy, and I didn't touch on it very much with the boy with glasses, well his hypocrisy is what killed him. As he told his friends to never follow the moon's glow to find their way home, that is precisely the cause of his death. He was running through the forest when he saw the moon's light at the bottom of a cliff, and I blew him right off of it. Landing on his head, causing his neck to break in two.
Finally the girl with long brown hair and glasses. Now with her naivete, she didn't eat as much of the food as her friends had, and despite their efforts she only ate a little bit of it enough to have a small reaction to the hallucinogens that she ate. And the way her naivete killed her in the end, was that she still ate the food. She only ate enough for her to have a small reaction to the hallucinogens, giving her a mild vision that was mixed in with the real world.
Remember the way she died was with little sandwiches putting holes in her, and her dealings with the giant robot with red converse sneakers. Well the thing is she ran into a construction site where they were building more of those three story houses, and the robot was a giant crane, when she tried to get away she ran into a tree and I blew down a bees nest causing her to be stung by a bunch of bees and hornets.
Well that is the story I just told you. If you have any questions please just ask. What's that you have a question. Sorry I can't hear you. I'm blowing up a storm right now.
Just remember the next time you step out of your house, office, or wherever you are coming from indoors, and onto my Earth, I will see and hear everything you do. So be careful when you step outside. Well I believe that's the end so bye-bye.
Now what force wind should I blow on New Mexico.
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