A.N.: This is going to be a collection of random, short, humorous and heartwarming stories about the Legends pretty much driving Rip insane. They're supposed to be set between seasons 1 and 2 but Snart may randomly appear because I keep forgetting he's supposed to be dead. (I'm pretty sure people won't mind though) I don't know who first called Rip 'Time Dad' but it wasn't me so credit where credit is due.
The Adventures of Time Dad
By DarkestSight
1. Threats and Addenda
Rip knows how to take a punch. He needs to considering how often he's on the receiving end of one. Unfortunately, he really doesn't see this one coming. One moment the supervillain wannabe is calmly pacing back and forth along the rooftop in front of the team, smugly bragging about how he plans to use his recently created time machine to conquer the entire planet, the next he's fallen into a red-faced rage swinging a fist at Rip and yelling about interfering do-gooders.
There is a brief second where Rip is able to wonder exactly what sort of personality disorder the supervillain wannabe is suffering from, and then the pain hits him. The blow is powerful enough to knock him off his feet, the supervillain turning out to be surprisingly strong, and Rip tumbles backwards seeing not only stars but entire galaxies burst in front of his eyes.
Things go rather fuzzy for a while. When Rip is finally able to make sense of the world once more, he finds himself lying on the ground, Ray and Martin kneeling beside him with looks of concern on their faces.
Rip groans putting a hand up to his ringing head. He is about to reassure the others he's alright when a familiar growl draws his attention elsewhere. Gazing over to where the supervillain wannabe was standing, he finds the supervillain now several inches off the ground being held up by the lapels by Mick. The villain's face is now several shades paler and he looks like he is seriously reconsidering his life choices. Something which would probably happen to anyone who suddenly finds the furious face of Mick Rory only an inch away from their own.
"No one," Mick growls emphatically. "No one punches our Captain and gets away with it."
The supervillain sputters and lets out the sort of whine a distressed puppy might make. He is saved from responding however by the sound of someone loudly clearing their throat.
Everyone turns to look at Sara Lance.
Sara in turn looks pointedly at Mick. The smile on her face is somewhat sheepish but her eyes twinkle with amusement.
Mick turns back to their villain. "No one but Sara," he corrects, "is allowed to punch our Captain and get away with it."
The supervillain whines again, his legs swinging helplessly in the air.
This time it's Jax who interrupts. "Well, there was that time Kendra... uh..."
Mick rolls his eyes but corrects himself again. "No one but the members of our team are allowed to punch our Captain and get away with it."
By this time, the supervillain wannabe is looking less scared and more confused.
"Jonah did technically..." Ray begins.
"Fine," Mick snaps. "No one but the members of our team and Jonah are allowed to punch our Captain and get away with it, but I like Jonah." He moves his face even closer to the supervillain's until their noses are almost touching. "I don't like you."
The supervillain wannabe swallows convulsively. He opens his mouth several times and makes some random noises but doesn't manage to say anything coherent before he is tossed off the roof.
Mick turns back to the team with a satisfied smile on his face.
Rip sighs and shakes his head, but says, "Thank you, Mr. Rory," because after all, it's the thought that counts.