Title: Potions (with a twist)
Author: Chibi White Ferret (~Savannah~)
Genre: Humor
Main Character: Neville (he never gets enough attention...)
Rating: PG for a few choice words
Summary: A normal, everyday sort of Potions class... or is it? I think it is, but everyone is acting *strange.* Neville is - apparently - a hottie hot hot (lol).
Author's Note: *-* is for emphasis and this is my first fic! Please be kind, rewind! LOL, no. Umm... do review, though, please. I need to know if it has any potential, maybe? ::hopeful:: I hope you like it! I tried! ^_^;;

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Neville Longbottom sighed and pushed away a lock of his sandy hair. Across the Potions classroom Parvati Patil sighed with content and turned away. Neville's so sexy, she whispered to herself, blushing. The hottest guy at Hogwarts for sure. Pansy Parkinson, the pug-faced Slytherin, was also staring contentedly at Neville.



Pansy said nothing, not hearing the annoyed voice of her boyfriend in her ear. The blonde boy poked her again. Pansy! Hey!

Pansy irritably turned her attention from Neville to Draco Malfoy. she hissed under her breath. Draco was staring straight ahead with a fixed expression on his face, acting as if he hadn't heard her. What do you WANT?!?! Pansy screamed, suddenly and irrationally upset at having her daydreams of Neville Longbottom interrupted. She and Neville had been running naked through a field and there had been whipped cream involved in her fantasy.

Snape frowned. Excuse me, Ms. Parkinson? But *what did you just say*??

The Potions classroom was deathly silent as every student turned to stare at Pansy, giving her their full and complete attention. No one dared to speak to Snape like that, ever. Draco mentally rolled his eyes. I tried to warn you, he muttered under his breath. Pansy glared at him before turning back to a reddening-by-the-moment Professor Snape. Pansy gulped, a fierce blush creeping up the back of her neck. What I meant -um, what I m-m-meant to say was, uh, what -what can I do for you, Professor? She forced a smile and heard Parvati Patil snigger from across the room.

Snape was too mad to care about some piddling little Gryffindor girl and chose to ignore Parvati. Pansy Parkinson was in *his house! How dare she! The insufferable little-* Snape straightened up. Twenty points from Slytherin, he said, still seething at her sheer nerve. For such a blatant sign on disrespect. I expect more from my own house, Ms. Parkinson. And with that Snape swept off to go terrorize the Gryffindors.

Pansy let out a huge sigh of relief and Draco watched her out of the corner of his eye. Honestly, what was she thinking, exploding like that, he muttered under his breath. Blaise Zabini heard him and leaned over, his warm breath brushing against Draco's ear, She obviously wasn't thinking, Draco.

Draco turned and smirked at his best friend. But of course, he replied in his usual, unctuous voice. Not like she ever does...

Pansy elbowed Draco in the rubs. Shut up, she hissed under her breath. Both of you, just shut up.

Blaise and Draco smirked at one another but refrained from saying anything aloud. Thanks to Pansy's idiocy Snape was looking for blood. And he found it at Harry and Ron's cauldron which was bubbling and foaming, spewing large purple bubbles that smelled strongly of decomposing waste.

said Ron, holding his nose and backing away from the cauldron. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear this must be Neville's cauldron...

Neville exclaimed in indignation at Ron's indirect insult. I do not always -

Oh, yes you do, Longbottom. Shut up, Snape said, coming over and hovering near Harry and Ron's cauldron. And what the fuck is that? He asked, pointing to Ron and Harry's potion which now smelled like a strange combination of wildflowers and rotten bananas.

Harry reddened slightly and mumbled something unintelligible.

What was that, Potter? Snape asked, stepping a few feet back and holding his nose. What did you say? Speak up.

Erm... I said, I don't think you're supposed to say fuck' in class, Professor, Harry mumbled, shuffling his feet and averting his gaze. Snape was in a bad mood and no one wanted to meet his eyes.

Snape frowned and opened his mouth to say something when Draco quickly interrupted. Professor! Oy, Professor! Draco called from across the dungeon.

Yes, what is it, Mr. Malfoy? he asked kindly. Kiss ass, Ron muttered under his breath. Seamus coughed to hide a snigger.

Oh, Professor, something's happened to Goyle's potion... as Draco said this there was a loud and something orange and fluffy shot out of Goyle's cauldron and into the air, banging around against the ceiling and chandelier.

Oh, fuck, said Snape, taking out his wand.

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A/N 2: TBC?? Dunno yet... but I hope you liked it!!! *hopeful grin* I hope it's kinda funny... maybe... a little bit...?? Soo, like I said this is my first fic (well, first published). I'm thinking about writing more, but I dunno. If you review, I'll love you forever! Thanks for reading, everyone who did!!