Just a short little one shot about how it crashed on him why his live went wrong. I do not own HP.
I know father had made the wrong choice. I know what he should've done. But he hadn't. I couldn't bring myself to do it, to kill him. It was all wrong.
Dumbledore offered me, father, mother, us all protection. He offered me a chance to live a normal life. I couldn't just kill him. It was wrong, it was hard to try.
I know that I should have. It was not the right choice, yet it wouldn't guaranteed our safety from the Dark Lord. Never the less, Snape had done it.
I don't understand how Snape could have brought himself to do it. To kill a man that has trusted him, protected him without blinking an eye. I thank him, of course. We would all have been dead if he hadn't, but to be so cold.
I know I have made the wrong choices as well. I should have refused, should have died instead of taking on this mission. It is what Potter would have done.
Potter, the arrogant Potter. I do have respect for him buried somewhere deep down. I can feel it now, feel the guilt. He wouldn't have taken on a mission like this for anything. Even if the Dark Lord somehow blackmailed him, Potter would manage to worm his way out. I know Potter is not scared of death.
He would risk his neck, he had risked his neck for his friends. I can feel anger toward my father, for deciding to join the Dark Lord. I can feel anger towards myself, for being such a coward.
It's funny, how in the strangest moments do you come to regret things. Like now, after watching the most skilled wizard fall, did I begin to regret my life.
And in that moment, I also know that if I somehow manage to leave this war alive, if I ever become anyone's parental figure, I would not make the same mistakes my father did.
Power comes at a price. A price I cannot afford to pay.