Songfic to 8 Mile by Eminem

Songfic to 8 Mile by Eminem

Archie's POV

Sometimes I just feel like, quittin I still might
Why do I put up this fight, why do I still write
Sometimes it's hard enough just dealin with real life
Sometimes I wanna jump on stage and just kill mics
And show these people what my level of skill's like
But I'm still white, sometimes I just hate life
Somethin ain't right, hit the brake lights

I still write to my family back in Memphis, Tennessee. I don't know why I do it. I just do. I love my mom and my baby sister Allie. They are the best things that ever happened to me besides coming here to New Olympia and meeting Atlanta.

Sometimes I feel like quitting. I feel like quitting saving the world, I feel like quitting hoping that Atlanta will some day love me back, I feel like quitting writing to my family every weekend. But I can't. It just doesn't seem right. I don't want to but I do. I don't want to write to my family because then I remember him, my father. He was the worst man ever known to me, worse then Satin, worse then the terrorists, worst then, dare I say it, Cronus. He was a bad man, my step-father.

Case of the stage fright, drawin a blank like
Da-duh-duh-da-da, it ain't my fault
Great then I falls, my insides crawl
and I clam up (wham) I just slam shut
I just can't do it, my whole manhood's
just been stripped, I have just been vicked
So I must then get off the bus then split
Man fuck this shit yo, I'm goin the fuck home
World on my shoulders as I run back to this 8 Mile Road

I don't know why I couldn't stop him. I froze up. My knees just gave out. I always thought that it was because of my week ankle. I would always run to my room and ball up. My insides felt like they were about to blow. I could hear my mother screaming. I could hear her crying. But I couldn't do anything. I couldn't move out of my place. I was stuck. I guess it reminded me of that one time I did do something. That one time I wish I could do it again.

Flashback

I ran forward as he threw his punch at my mom. I tackled him to the ground and punched him in the face. He punched me back.

End of Flashback

I got a black eye that day. It hurt. I can still remember blacking out and hearing my mother screams. It haunts me till this very day. Sometimes at night I wake up to the sounds of her screams. I wake up sweating with my blankets rapped tightly around me.

I'm a man, I'ma make a new plan
Time for me to just stand up, and travel new land
Time for me to just take matters into my own hands
Once I'm over these tracks man I'ma never look back
(8 Mile Road) And I'm gone, I know right where I'm goin
Sorry momma I'm grown, I must travel alone
ain't gon' follow the footsteps I'm making my own
Only way that I know how to escape from this 8 Mile Road

I always tell my mom I'm sorry for leaving her with that mad man. I check on her every day at night time when the others are asleep. I had to leave. I had to get away. That's why I came here to New Olympia. That, and to fight another mad man. Sometimes I just picture Cronus being my step-father and it gives me more courage and spunk to fight him. Once we defeat Cronus, I will never look back on the bad times. Somehow I will save my mom and my sister from that man. I will get them. I will not fallow in my step-fathers footsteps and become a mad man like him. I will travel on my own path.

I'm walkin these train tracks, tryin to regain back
the spirit I had 'fore I go back to the same crap
To the same plant, and the same pants
Tryin to chase rap, gotta move ASAP
And get a new plan, momma's got a new man
Poor little baby sister, she don't understand
Sits in front of the TV, buries her nose in the pad
And just colors until the crayon gets dull in her hand
While she colors her big brother and mother and dad
Ain't no tellin what really goes on in her little head
Wish I could be the daddy that neither one of us had

I fight Cronus to try and forget what happened in the past, to regain my courage; to rid of the bad memories of my cruel step-father. Before I go back I have to regain my spirits and courage.

I wish that my father hadn't died that day. I wish he was here now. He'd know what to do. When my real father died, my mother met him, my step-father.

My poor little sister, she doesn't know what goes on. She was only two when my father died. She didn't know what was going on. Now she is six. It has been four years now. I'm seventeen and she's six.

I still remember my father. He was a nice man. He used to take me fishing but one day while we were out in the boat, it flipped. My father couldn't swim. I tried to pull him to the surface but I couldn't do it. He was too heavy. The lifeguard came and got me but he couldn't rescue my father. It was too late.

Sometimes I wonder why they had saved me and not him. He would have protected my family, not like me. I'm a coward. My father would have still been here if I hadn't wanted to go fishing. Allie would have been happy and safe. I wouldn't have to worry about her. Who knows what she knows about her family. Who knows what she knows or thinks. She's too young to understand.

But I keep runnin from somethin I never wanted so bad!
Sometimes I get upset, cause I ain't blew up yet
It's like I grew up, but I ain't grow me two nuts yet
Don't gotta rep my step, don't got enough pep
The pressure's too much man, I'm just tryin to do what's best
And I try, sit alone and I cry
Yo I won't tell no lie, not a moment goes by
That I don't pray to the sky, please I'm beggin you God
Please don't let me pigeon holed in no regular job
Yo I hope you can hear me homey wherever you are
Yo I'm tellin you dawg I'm bailin this trailer tomorrow
Tell my mother I love her, kiss baby sister goodbye
Say whenever you need me baby, I'm never too far
But yo I gotta get out there, the only way I know
And I'ma be back for you, the second that I blow
On everything I own, I'll make it on my own
Off to work I go, back to this 8 Mile Road

I'm running away from my family. The most loved thing in my life. Sometimes I just sit and cry because my father died and I didn't. I cry because I know that back home my father is killing and hurting my mother, causing her pain. Sometimes at night, I just wake up and cry. Cry alone in my dark bedroom. With nobody to tell me everything is going to be okay. My mom used to do that. She would tell me that someday we'd all get away. Run. Run away from him and hide. Then everything would be okay. But I left that one night. I kissed my mother and my sister on the cheek. My step-father was out getting drunk that night. Mom was crying. How many tears she shed? Millions. I felt so bad. How could I just leave her? But she understood. She knew that I had to leave. She didn't know why. But she knew that I had to. To get away. I told her I'd be back soon to come and get her.

I'm a man, I'ma make a new plan
Time for me to just stand up, and travel new land
Time for me to just take matters into my own hands
Once I'm over these tracks man I'ma never look back
(8 Mile Road) And I'm gone, I know right where I'm goin
Sorry momma I'm grown, I must travel alone
ain't gon' follow the footsteps I'm making my own
Only way that I know how to escape from this 8 Mile Road

You gotta live it to feel it, you didn't you wouldn't get it
Or see what the big deal is, why it wasn't the skillest
To be walkin this borderline of Detroit city limits
It's different, it's a certain significance, a certificate
of authenticity, you'd never even see
But it's everything to me, it's my credibility
You never seen heard smelled or met a real MC
who's incredible upon the same pedestal as me
But yet I'm still unsigned, havin a rough times

People say that they know how I feel. But they are wrong. They don't know. How could they? They haven't seen their mother being physically beaten up; they haven't been beat by their step-fathers; they don't fight evil gods. They are normal people living normal lives. They are happy. But not me.

Sit on the porch with all my friends and kick dumb rhymes
Go to work and serve MC's in the lunchline
But when it comes crunch time, where do my punchlines go
Who must I show, to bust my flow
Where must I go, who must I know
Or am I just another crab in the bucket
Cause I ain't havin no luck with this little Rabbit so fuck it
Maybe I need a new outlet, I'm startin to doubt shit
I'm feelin a little skeptical who I hang out with
I look like a bum, yo my clothes ain't about shit
At the Salvation Army tryin to salvage an outfit

I hang out with my friends and pretend like I've had a perfect life. I haven't told them what my step-father has done yet. Tomorrow, I will tell somebody. Most likely Atlanta. I always feel skeptical about whom I tell things to and sometimes I wonder if I should even be hanging out and living with my friends while my mother and sister are still back there. But then I look back at all the things they've done for me and I decide against leaving. I wear the same blue hoodie and shorts from the Salvation Army every day. I feel like hobo with no money to spend or buy. I want to fit in with the normal people but then I'd be one of them. I don't want to be one of them.

And it's cold, tryin to travel this road
Plus I feel like I'm on stuck in this battlin mode
My defenses are so up, but one thing I don't want
is pity from no one, the city is no fun
There is no sun, and it's so dark
Sometimes I feel like I'm just bein pulled apart
From each one of my limbs, by each on of my friends
It's enough to just make me wanna jump out of my skin
Sometimes I feel like a robot, sometimes I just know not
what I'm doin I just blow, my head is a stove top
I just explode, the kettle gets so hot
Sometimes my mouth just overloads the ass that I don't got
But I've learned, it's time for me to U-turn
Yo it only takes one time for me to get burned
Ain't no fallin no next time I meet a new girl
I can no longer play stupid or be immature
I got every ingredient, all I need is the courage
Like I already got the beat, all I need is the words
Got the urge, suddenly it's a surge
Suddenly a new burst of energy is occured
Time to show these free world leaders the three and a third
I am no longer scared now, I'm free as a bird
Then I turn and cross over the median curb
Hit the 'burbs and all you see is a blur from 8 Mile Road

I've got to suck it up now. Soon we will defeat Cronus and I will go and get my family. I will tell Atlanta that I love her and I pray she loves me back. I pray that everything is alright and that my mother and sister are safe. I will no longer feel like I'm being torn from my limbs. I will never hurt Atlanta like my step-father did to my mother. Once I get my mother and sister, I will be free. Free to roam the world without fear.