This is my first story ever. I hope there aren't too many grammatical or spelling mistakes. The inspiration for this story came from all the good SI fanfictions I have read till now. Sadly, the updates probably wont be regular but I will try my best.

It has come to my attention that there aren't really many SI into this timeline of the story, so I have decided to change that. The anime and manga don't mention many specifics about this time line, so I'll have to make up many things myself. If you have any questions or suggestions you are welcome to review or PM me.

The mention of Romeo and Juliet in the description should be a hint to this being a love story. But as the story will start at the beginning of my protagonist's life there wont be any love for some time. So, if you're a sucker for romance, I'm sorry to disappoint you; it'll take a while till we come to that point.

Rating for this chapter: T for some swearing and mild depiction of depression.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Naruto characters or its plot. Hisako and all the changes I make are mine.

Summary: Shakespeare. I never liked his plays. So how come that I somehow landed in my own twisted version of Romeo and Juliet, where the feuding families were replaced by warring clans and instead of honorable knights there were shinobi everywhere? Self-Insert/OC-Insert

Enjoy.

Chapter 1

Of Serial Killers and the Living Dead

I thought I'd be alright today
I thought I'd be alive today
Give me your eyes, I'll show you things
You never dreamed you thought you'd see

I thought this light would comfort me
I thought it would be easy
But there's a tugging at my sleeve
So much baggage I brought with me to leave

Something so big I can't understand from trying to I would go mad
So I hurry back to little earth for another life, another birth

Another life another birth

Mother?

–Toad The Wet Sprocket, Reincarnation Song

Dying itself wasn't a horrible experience. It's what happens before and follows afterwards what is truly fear inspiring. Take me for example; I died on my sixteenth birthday, killed by serial killers.

It was a normal day, really. I woke up and my prepared myself for the day. A birthday breakfast greeted me after I left my room. Pancakes, toast, scrambled eggs. Everything a glutton like me could wish for. My mom even baked some of my favorite cookies.

There wasn't much time for me to enjoy the whole thing. It was a Friday, thus I still had to go to school.

My boyfriend, Matt, picked me up and drove me there. It was quite obvious that there was no love between us, but we did enjoy our time together.

I wasn't overly popular at school, yet I wasn't disliked either. Actually, I was completely average. I had a boyfriend, friends and mediocre grades. Your average high school student.

When we finally arrived at school, I was greeted by my two best friends, Sarah and Anna. They informed me about the plans they had made for the day.

Sarah has gotten us some fake ID's and we planed to sneak into a club. I wasn't sure if the guards would let us in, the ID's didn't seem to be very convincing.

By some stroke of luck or karma as I would later call it, the guard did not even look twice at our fake ID's.

We partied for a few hours, drinking so much alcohol that we could hardly stand on our feet. Earlier that day the three of us decided that we would make my birthday a girls night. Meaning: no boys allowed. It was what we planned, anyway.

Of course it did not end that way.

It was around midnight when we were approached by two guys. Leering at us three, they had asked my friends to dance with them.

Anna and Sarah had always been such bitches. They accepted the invitations, too drunk and ignorant to see that they were leaving me behind. Alone.

Girls only. Fucking liars.

I ordered a drink at the bar and sat down on a chair all by my lonesome. Just as I wanted to pay for it the bartender told me that some guy had already done so for me. A guy who would soon become my worst nightmare.

Unfortunately, it wasn't hard to find the mystery guy. He sat only a few seats away from me and raised his drink in greeting.

''You look rather sad, don't you?'' Was the first thing he ever said to me.

And I was. My two best friends preferred to fool around with some random guys rather than spend my birthday with me. I was surrounded by people I didn't know and could feel a migraine approaching.

What shitty birthday that was.

If only I had known.

The stranger who payed for my drink and soon started conversing with me was like a beam of sunshine on a dreary day.

He had charmed me with his words and attracted me with his looks.

Blonde hair, striking blue eyes and a British accent. He was perfect. A perfect predator.

During our time in the club he told me his name; Jason Smith. Like the foolish little girl I was, I decided to spend the rest of my night with him, loosing the sight of friends in the process.

When the time came for me to go home, Jason volunteered to drive me.

I should have listened to my mom when she said I should never trust strangers because the moment I entered his car my destiny was sealed.

I am sure that you have already guessed that he did not take me home. No, he kidnapped me into some kind of warehouse. It was there that I met his younger sister. She was just as beautiful, just as charming and just as deadly as he was.

Before I tell you what happened next, I will better explain the background story. In Chicago, where I lived back then, a serial killer had been on the run for about two months. At night that person or as I found out the people would kidnap inhabitants of Chicago and murder them in different ways. The victims only had two things in common; they were young, most of them only teenagers, and always had a 'J' engraved on their wrists.

Compared to the other victims' deaths, mine hasn't been the most brutal one. That did not mean it hadn't scarred my soul irreparably.

They pushed me in chair and secured me to it. Then they bound wires around my fingers.

It began with a slight tingling sensation and ended with the most unbearable pain I had ever felt.

I died after being electrocuted countless of times.

I was the 8th victim and when death finally came to embrace me, I welcomed it with open arms, not knowing that hell was awaiting me.

Death. It always seemed to be so far away. I was still a teenager, young and so full of life. There should have been decades before me.

Death had no right to touch me with its cold hands, grasp me and rip me out of everything I knew.

Fair and unfair. An entity like death did not care about whom it was coming for. An elderly man or a newborn child. At the end it would come for everyone.

That's one thing that all humans shared.

When I woke up that fateful day dying had not even crossed my mind. After a few hours there was nothing I wanted more than to finally be free. Even if being free meant to cease existing.

I had never thought about what would happen when my breathing stopped and my heart ceased to beat. My old life was left behind without an inkling of what was awaiting me.

The worst thing about my whole situation was the uncertainty about what had transpired. Why could I feel the warmth surrounding me? Had I really died? Maybe all this was a dream?

It would take me a long time to realize that I had indeed died and even longer to accept that I was reborn.

At the beginning my senses seemed to be really dull. I couldn't see, feel or hear anything. Was I paralyzed? Perhaps in a coma?

That's what I thought back then.

I continued floating in the dark abyss. Time had no meaning here. Silence became my unwanted companion. I was alone.

I would never forget the moment when I perceived something for the first time. Hearing. I admit, it was muffled, as if someone was holding pillows to my ears. I also believed that the first thing I heard was another humans heartbeat. It wasn't the most pleasant of sounds but after such a long period of silence I enjoyed it. Besides, it did not take me long to get used to it. Adjusting to repeated sounds was actually a normal human thing. If one kept hearing the same sound over and over again, it just 'ceased to exist'.

The second sense that returned to me was touch. The warmth surrounding me like a blanket. Human skin. A prisoner like me? That couldn't be right. Someone else was there, someone who made me feel safe and I was sure that whoever it was, wasn't a prisoner.

Where was I? Did the siblings let me go? Did someone free me? Maybe I truly was waking from a coma?

I remembered the time when a hand grabbed mine. I was so surprised, yet I shouldn't have been. The hold wasn't even tight. I felt at peace. I became very dependent on that person. Or as dependent as one could become on someone they did not see, hear or talk to.

Our life-could this even be called life?-continued steadily. I had no perception of how long we were there. At some point I even managed to glimpse something. It was as if I was looking at the sun with closed eyes. My normally black surroundings changed into light hues of orange and pink. It was warmer than usually.

It was back then that I realized that I wasn't with the siblings anymore. It wasn't possible.

And so I allowed myself to relax. I would be lying if I said that I was fine. I had no idea where I was. About what would happen to me. My future was full of unanswered questions. But that wasn't the worst of it. While I feared the future, it was my past which continued to haunt me. I would never forget what those monsters did to me. The memories just did not want to disappear from the forefront of my mind. They have scarred my soul irreparably.

Fear. It was what they taught me. I did not believe that I would feel such a burning, breath stealing fear as I felt in their presence ever again. Those believes were shattered the moment my silent companion was taken from me. One moment he was there, then he was gone.

The space around us has been getting smaller-or maybe we were getting bigger?- for a while by then. The walls pushing us together, till not even a sheet of paper would have fit between us. Then the contractions started.I felt my companion being ripped from me, leaving me alone.

You can't imagine the amount of fear that was coursing through my veins back then. My heart furiously beating against my rib cage. Eyes frantically trying to find my companion in the darkness.

Then my turn came. I was pushed out into the cold. The light was blinding me.I could hear the cry of an infant. Large hands were holding me.

I did the only thing I could. I cried.

There was something fucking wrong with this place. Not only were the people huge, like really huge, towering over me like giants, but there was also this weird energy the air, in the other humans-were they even humans?-, inside of me. I could feel it since the moment I was pushed into the fresh air. It was like an irritating itch.

I could feel it under my skin. Buzzing like small insects. Have I mentioned before that I hate insects? No? Well, I do. Unfortunately, this wasn't even my worst problem. It was the energy in the air which made me sometimes feel like I was drowning. So heavy and full of power that at times I could not breath properly.

This energy enabled me to locate every person in my vicinity as well. My senses were overloaded. And that's exactly what it was. A sixth sense. The ability to locate everyone who was near me. To see without looking. I hated it. All this was to much for me.

As if all that wasn't enough, the people here also spoke another language. It sounded Asian. If you haven't already guessed, I did not speak whatever language that was. The only contact I had with the Eastern culture was the instant noodle restaurant next door and the subbed anime and dramas I used to watch. Which means that I had no idea where the hell I was. This did not keep me from wondering,of course. The first thing I could think of was that someone kidnapped me for a second time. Then there was also the hypothesis of me still being in a coma.

The other things I could think of were not worth mentioning. I wouldn't want anyone to think that I was crazy.

Something to add to my mountain of problems were my nightmares. If you believe that one can just forget what I have been through, you are solely mistaken. After all if it were like this, psychiatrists wouldn't be needed. And I seriously needed one. Even if the only thing he could do for me was prescribing me some sleeping pills.

Apparently my new kidnappers did not believe that there was something wrong with me; robbing me of my needed sleep and the few hours I did manage to sleep through with a wailing infant. Fucking morons.

Did I already mention that there was something wrong with my vocal chords. I couldn't talk or rather form any actual words. All that came out of my mouth were some incoherent babbles. My motor skills sucked as well. Let's not even talk about my eyesight.

Another thing to complain about were the feeding periods. Every few hours someone would come into the room and give us a tasteless broth.

With us I mean the wailing infant always laying besides me. I think that those two things should have clued me in on my situation. And even if they didn't, the familiar presence of my silent companion besides me should.

Well after a few weeks it did. Only after I gave up on that denial thing, of course. At that time my eyesight was almost clear and I slowly started to understand some words. I was a little miffed when I noticed that the people I had dubbed as some grotesque giants looked like normal humans. There was a handful visiting us and now I did not only recognize them by their weird energy but also by their appearance.

A woman with white hair and red eyes visited the room more often than the others. You've read right; white hair and red eyes, isn't that freaky. My not so silent companion had the same traits, which probably meant that he was her son. Were they were some kind of albinos?

Anyway, one day she decided to change the routine in which she came into the room and took care of us. She picked me up and took me out of the room. Back then I did not know if I should be elated as I was leaving that boring room for the first time since I got there or if I should be terrified because she was separating me from my silent companion.

Knowing that if she really wanted to hurt me I wouldn't be able to do anything against it, I choose the former. Attentively, I watched my surroundings. What shocked me was that there did not seem to be any modern technologies. No electricity. That was a dreadful observation. And I did not only say that because I was addicted to the internet. There were many other things I needed that one thing for. I am sure you yourself can think about quiet a lot of them.

My agitation only grew when she stopped in front of a mirror. I wasn't there, I couldn't see myself in it. How was that possible? Could it be that I truly was dead? Was I a ghost?

Those thoughts were brought to an abrupt stop, or rather crashed like sports car driving at its upper speeds into a tree. This happened momentarily when I moved my arm up. One of the two reflections did as well. With one of the reflections I mean a baby the white-haired woman was holding in her arms. I tried it again and again and again. No matter what part of my body I moved, the baby in the mirror repeated it.

My first thought, Shit, closely followed by a panicked shriek.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, I was a baby. Second, there was a part of me-and I didn't know how potent that part might be-that had known this for some time now. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably screwed.

Did you get the reference. No? Well, it probably wasn't the right time to use some random Bella Swan quotations and changing them so they fit my situation. But I'm still pretty sure that everyone got the picture. I lived. I died. I was reborn.

Following that grand event were a few heart attack inducing revelations. The first one being my new name.

Senju Hisako

Does that ring any bells? Probably not. To me it didn't either, that is until I heard the names of my new brothers. There were only two words which could summarize how I felt the moment I found out their identity. Mind fucked. To make sure everyone else gets my point I shall graciously inform you of their names.

My older brother Senju Hashirama and my twin Senju Tobirama.

So yeah. I was in an anime. Naruto to be exact. In the warring states era. Sengoku Jidai. I mean, if had to be reborn, why couldn't I have been put in a time-line I knew at least a few things about. It would have been even better to be reborn after the Fourth Shinobi War. At least it would have been peaceful. I would have probably chosen to be a civilian. That would have been fun. Sadly, I was reborn into one of the bloodiest times this universe would ever see.

From what I have gathered these times were one of the most dangerous ones. Every clan fought for itself. There were no war rules to uphold, no easy treaties to make. If you were caught by another clan, they would kill you. In the future, Konoha would be one of the strongest villages. Clan wise, that is. Which means that there were more chances at survival.

Knowing what I know about this world and my rotten luck, I would probably end up being murdered once again. I winced at that. Still too early for such comments.

Anyway,back to my brothers. When I heard their names for the first time I had to seriously stop myself from fangirling. Chibi Hashirama and Tobirama were just too cute.

Doesn't that say something about my supposed sanity. I don't believe there is much left of it.

Where was I? My brothers, yes. After my initial bout of insanity, I took my time to inspect them. Hashirama did not seem much older than my current body. About three to four years old, I believe. He had chocolate-did they even have chocolate here?-brown hair and eyes. His hair had a bowl-cut and he was always wearing light clothes. His hands were already starting to get calloused. I expected a lot of this man, no child, but not the innocence I saw shining in his eyes.

Then there was Tobirama. My twin brother. My silent companion. It were his quiet intakes of air which helped me fall asleep. His childish giggles which made me smile. Was it normal to fixate myself on one person like that? No, but I was far from normal.

My thoughts cut off abruptly right then as I turned my attention to the young boy standing at the right side of my crib. He was gazing at me and my twin with curiosity in his eyes. Now that he had my attention, a happy grin spread across his face.

"Imouto,Otouto." He stuck one of his hands through the bars of the crib and let me grasp one of his fingers. I cooed at him and so did Tobirama.

It did not take long for the older boy to find the crib's opening. He pulled on it, pushing one side of the crib's bars down. Then he reached down with his small hands and picked Tobirama up into his arms, as he was the one laying straight before him. The first time I saw him doing that I almost had a panic attack. In my old world-I think I'll start calling it the Before-no one would have trusted such a young child to take care of two babies. Right now he did not even weight a lot of more than we did.

Leaving two infants in the care of a four years old was like asking for a disaster.

It's a good thing that I didn't really care about this supposed disaster. To be honest, I was still not completely convinced that all of this was real. Come on, what were the chances of being reborn into a fictional universe. I would like to think that they were very slim.

I should really start to focus more on the outside world because the next thing I noticed was my new mothers sudden presence in the room. Concentration has never been my forte.

"Are you taking care of your younger siblings,Hashirama-chan?" She asked, while leaning on the doorway with her right shoulder.

Senju Ryumi. That was her name. Earlier I had mentioned that she looked rather creepy, but that wasn't completely true. I might have said that because of her unusual coloring and foreign appearance. The Senju matriarch was a petite woman with soft and feminine facial features. They were a mix between Asian and European. Her unusual coloring made her appear exotic and interesting.

I'm sure that if one does not consider red eyes weird, they might have actually been pretty.

If I had to guess her age, I would say that she was about twenty years old. In my opinion, that was a little young to be a mother of three children, one of them already at the age of four. Maybe that's what made me unable to consider her as my mother. She seemed too young to be one. Too inexperienced. I could clearly see the love shining in her eyes when she gazed upon us. But love wasn't the only thing I could see. Apprehension and nervousness swirled in her ruby red depths. Considering where I was, she probably did not marry Senju Butsuma willingly. The marriage most likely arranged when she was nothing but a babe. In these times woman were nothing more than breeding machines, which means that she must have come from a good family. Taught how to be a 'good wife' for her whole life. The part of me that believed in equality and the morals of my old life wanted to rip something to shreds. I was female as well,would I end up like the woman before me?

''Hai,Oka-sama.'' Hashirama answered, breaking my chain of thoughts once again. I observed the young woman as she approached my crib. Her steps were slow and deliberate. Ryumi was a picture of elegance. The Senju matriarch.

She crouched down in front of Hashirama and stretched her arms out towards the small infant who was curled against his chest. My older brother obliged to her silent demand and gave Tobirama to her. ''Why don't I help you with your siblings?'' Ryumi pointed with a dainty finger towards a corner of the room. ''There are some blankets in the corner. Can you get them? Like this we will be able to put Tobirama and Hisako outside of the crib.''

Hashirama practically ran to get the blankets, almost tripping on the materials when he finally had them in his arms. The four years old bounced slightly on his feet as he stood in front of Ryumi. The woman smiled at her son in appreciation. Still holding Tobirama with one arm, she helped her oldest child spread the blanket on the floor. Finishing the task,the woman put my twin gently on the light green blanket. Then she stood up once again and leaned over my crib. Looking up at my new mother, I spared her a smile.

"Aren't you a sweet thing?" She stroked my cheek with her right hand. "You gave us quiet a scare when you were born. It was rather...unexpected."

Well, wasn't she a sweet thing. I wanted to snort. But, yeah, that was me Hisako, the unexpected child. In my mind I sighted. It could have been worse.

Obviously Riyumi did not wait for an answer(I was a baby,after all). The Senju matriarch reached out to me with her arms and picked me up. Just as gently as she did with my twin, the young woman lowered me on the blanket. I immediately wiggled as close as I could get towards Tobirama and enjoyed my new found freedom. No matter how sad that may sound this was a kind of freedom I haven't experienced for some time now. Being out of the crib, without anyone holding and squishing me with their embraces. It's not as if I didn't enjoy the human contact, but everyone needed some time alone and this was probably as alone as I would get for the next few years.

I spend the rest of the evening laying next to my twin brother and bonding with my new family.

I woke up screaming in the darkness of the night, still relieving the pain I have once gone through. Still seeing the siblings in front of my eyes. My mind trapped in a place I have long ago ceased to belong to. I did not see Tobirama's face shifting with worry. I did not hear anyone arriving in the room.

"What do you think, brother? Shall we proceed to the next stage?" The blonde girl asked, she was rubbing her hands in excitement.

''Whatever you wish for, dear sister.''

Someone wound his arms around me. I knew that it was a male only from how muscular his arms were. Too muscular and rough, not appropriate to hold someone as fragile as I was. The person was going to hurt me like they did. Squeeze me till no air was left in my lungs.

I screamed louder, fighting against my attackers hold. I did not want to be hurt again. What did I do to deserve this?

''Please, I'll do anything. Just let me go'' I pleaded silently. No one seemed to hear me.

Someone was saying something. That wasn't English. What was that? Where was I? What was happening? I never asked for this. The voice was deep and somehow familiar. Why was it familiar? Where have I heard it before?

Their mad laughter vibrated through the wide warehouse, sending shivers up and down my spine.

Japanese? That must be it. But why would someone try to talk in Japanese to me?

Burning pain. I was burning from the inside. Every time I tried to scream, nothing managed to escape my mouth. Bu...

Oh, that's right. I was at home. I was safe. A nightmare. That's all it was. Nobody would harm me here. I was safe. I was alright.

Slowly, I forced my clenched eyes-Why were they closed to begin with?- to open. It was the face of my new father that greeted me. Senju Butsuma was looking down at my small form. His expression was firm, his body language as well. Yet there was worry shining in his eyes. Worry for his child. For his own flesh and blood.

But could I really be considered to be his daughter? Maybe none of this was real? Perhaps I was nothing more than a body thief? Did I kill his real daughter?

No. I shook my head a little to push away the leftovers of confusion. It wasn't the right time and neither the right place to think about such things. Butsuma probably already thought that there was something wrong with me. I did not need for this suspicions to get worse.

Through my tear filled eyes I gazed into his. My new father was looking down at me, has been observing me for some time now. While he mostly seemed to be impassive, I could still see the ounce of worry in his dark brown orbs. In contrary to my previous thoughts, his hold on me wasn't tight. It was rather gentle. Surprising as it was that he came to help me, I was grateful for that. Ryumi wouldn't have stayed so calm and if Tobirama even tried to help me I would have probably hurt him. For Butsuma my weak hits and kicks weren't even worth mentioning, but Tobirama was still a child and those panicked attacks would have certainly left bruises behind. I would have never forgiven myself for hurting him. Just imagining such scenario made my skin crawl.

''What has gotten into you,Hisako?'' The clan head's deep voice rumbled. That one question carried through the whole nursery, breaking the short silence that had enveloped it.

Being a child made it impossible for me to answer him, yet that did not stop me from reassuring him. Slowly, I let a small smile appear on my face. The smile wasn't big and toothy, but it was it did its work perfectly; reassuring Butsuma.

''You're calm again? You made half of the household wake up in alarm.'' He mused, shifting me slightly in his arms.

Half of the household? Oh. Ninja, that's right. The way I have been shrieking they probably thought that someone was trying to take us away or that we were under attack. But it wasn't my fault that half of the clan was filled with crazy and paranoid ninja who could hear through walls. Nope, not my fault at all that they all woke up, ready to slaughter anyone that came near us.

I giggled inappropriately, suddenly finding the whole situation extremely funny. Luckily, Butsuma attributed my behavior to me being a baby.

''Otou-sama?'' A bleary voice mumbled. Little Hashirama was standing at the entrance of the room, tiredly rubbing at his left eye. I must have given quiet the disheveled picture as Hashirama's eyes widened audibly when they fell upon me. ''What wrong with Hisako?''

Senju Butsuma looked down at his oldest child and said, ''You should not be here,Hashirama. Everything is fine.''

Hashirama wasn't convinced, of that I was sure. The way his childish face scrunched up and his gaze searched my body for any injuries spoke volumes. Instead of listening to our father's unspoken demand and going to his room, he moved a few steps forward. ''I heard crying,Otou-sama.''

Butsuma muttered something which sounded like ''Of course you did.'', but I couldn't be sure. He knelled down so that he could look into his son's eyes. Searching for something and obviously finding it, the young man(Butsuma did not look much older than twenty.) stretched his arms out and handed me over to Hashirama. ''You may hold her for a little while. After that you will go to sleep.''

''Hai,Otou-sama.'' Hashirama cradled affectionately against his chest. He was still worried about me and that was something I couldn't allow. I could worry my new father and mother. I could worry the clan. I could worry everyone but my brothers. They did not deserve it. And so I smiled widely at my brother, softly touching his face with my small hands. I forced myself to push those horrid memories into the back of my mind and pretended that everything was alright. I was a selfish person. If I had to I would even sacrifice Ryumi to keep myself alive. The only ones I would never harm were my brothers. They did not deserve such a betrayal. I would protect them as long as I was alive in this goddamn universe.

It took some time, but I managed to convince him. Hashirama was a sweet and innocent little boy and he would grow up to be a wonderful man. He would become a fighter, a clan head and the leader of the future Konohagakure no Sato. I would stand at his side till he reached all of his goals and even then I would still remain there. Hashirama and Tobirama were my brothers. Nothing would ever change that.

Once Hashirama left the room, Butsuma put me into the crib. I fell asleep, snuggled against my twins side, not having any nightmares through the rest of the night.

Being a baby was many things. Above all else humiliating. I was mentally sixteen, trapped in the body of a child.I thrived for independence, yet it was something I couldn't achieve. My motor skills were currently worse than that of a drunk trying to walk in a straight line. I could barely move my limbs properly. I did not have the strength to lift a...plate for example. My sight only recently got better and, oh, let's not forget that I was fucking small compared to the other people. So even if I could move properly, I still wouldn't be able to reach anything.

Isn't that fantastic? Note the sarcasm.

The worst thing about this whole situation was that I couldn't even do the most mundane things on my own. Bathing and using the toilet. I'm not a shy person, but that doesn't mean that I appreciate other people seeing me constantly naked.

The linen diapers weren't the worst thing in the world, but that did not stop them from being weird. Sometimes my skin itched because of them. Ignoring that fact completely, it felt bizarre to use them. I was taught to use a toilet and now I suddenly had to completely ignore those teachings and relief myself into a diaper. Unpleasant and humiliating, that's what it was.

I'm sure you're asking yourself why I am even talking about this. Currently a servant of the Senju clan was bathing me and my brother, while I was praying that she did not manage to get too much water in my ears. I hated to have water in my ear.

At least the water was warm. Even if I had no idea how they kept it that way. In these times flowing water did not exist, so they had to have heated it previously. Considering that the tube we were bathed in was more of a large bowl and we have already spend more than a half hour inside of it, the water should have long started to get cold.

It didn't. Like all the other things I did not understand in this new life, I blamed this function on Chakra. It must have been some weird Chakra trick. Regrettably, I did not know enough about the energy to be really able to tell you anything about it.

But I must admit, the shampoos or oils rally did smell good. Lavender and some other flower. I liked it.

Amusingly, my dear twin did not seem to share my opinion. Shrieking loudly, while the servant tried to wash him. Said servant looked quiet annoyed. She probably did not like children or would start hatting them after this experience. Fortunately, I did not like her either. The woman seemed to stuck up, continuously muttering about our misbehavior.

If you haven't noticed yet, old lady, we are babies. We do not know what is good or bad. At least my brother didn't. But this was a completely different universe, which means that it also has completely different morals and behavioral standards. I didn't know anything about those, so they had to excuse my misbehavior. Besides after all that has happened to me, I had the right to be little hysterical. That's what I kept telling myself,anyway.

When I heard Tobirama cry out again, granting on the woman's nerves even more, I wished that I could cheer him on.

Go Tobi, go Tobi, go Tobi!

It's such a shame that something like this wouldn't be possible. Especially because I couldn't really speak right now. Being a baby did not mean that I couldn't cheer him on in other ways. And that's exactly what I did. On the outside I played the role of the innocent baby that I was. Which means that I smiled brightly, giggled at my brothers attics and clapped my hands in excitement. The water flowing out of the bathtub was only an added bonus. I am sure that the lady could use some more work.

"I will never do this for Kyomi again. The next time she can ask someone else to take over her duties.'' The dark-haired woman muttered once more under her breath. "I hate these brats.''

The hate was mutual.

The she-devil finished our bathing time with pouring a bowl of water over each of our faces. I sputtered in indignation, but it must have looked more like a cute pout. My dear brother just started to wail louder. That's what she got for being mean to us. Serves her well.

Having dried us off, the servant wrapped one small blanket around each of us. The way she did this left us no space to move.

Game on it was.

I joined my wailing brother in dissatisfaction. The servant, I think Keiko was her name, picked Tobirama up with one arm and me with the other one, ignoring our discomfort completely. Briskly walking down the hallway toward our nursery, she never noticed the shoji doors behind us swinging open.

''What is going on here?'' My new mother's voice carried over our crying.

Keiko froze in place momentarily. Slowly, forcing herself to move, she turned around to face my mother. Not once did her gaze meet the matriarch's eyes. She kept it lowered in submission. ''Ryumi-sama.''

Ryumi narrowed her eyes dangerously. ''Why are my children crying as if they were being tortured? Speak up, girl.''

"I was just bathing them, Ryumi-sama. Both of them seemed to dislike it.'' She never raised her head.

The matriarch took a few steps forward, a frown contort her face. ''Where is Kyomi? She was the one I ordered to take care of them.'' She pointed her hand slightly towards us. ''Why pray tell were you the one doing this?''

Keiko gulped nervously. ''I was told to...'' Ryumi did not let her finish her sentence. ''And who ordered you to do it?''

''No one,Ryumi-sama.''

My new mother nodded her head, eyes hard like steel. ''Exactly. No one ordered you to do it. Kyomi was ordered to do it. I trusted her with the safety of my children. Obviously, my trust was misplaced.'' She gritted her teeth. ''Such disobedience will not be accepted.''

Ryumi reached out with her hands. Tears were still falling down our faces. ''Give them to me.'' I was the first one she picked up, gently nestling me against her chest. ''Go find Kyomi. I am sure that my husband will be more than delighted to have a talk about disobedience with you later.''

Keiko trembled slightly. ''Hai,Ryumi-sama'' She scurried of as fast as she could, not once looking behind.

I must admit that I never thought that delicate and elegant Senju Ryumi could be this scary. Was that a slight killing intent I felt coming off of her when she was lecturing Keiko?

I really did not want to get on her bad side. Ninja or not, she was a scary woman.

The moment Keiko was gone and we were in the safety of our mothers arms, our crying ceased. Tobirama even smiled up at her, while I giggled slightly.

''Do not worry, my children. Oka-san will take care of you.''

I believed her.

I did not know much about children. In the Before I was an only child. There weren't any much younger cousins to take care of. Only once did I babysit my 10 years old cousin, I was fourteen at that time. All this contributes to the fact that I didn't know anything about children. I did not know how to behave, what my new parents expected of me or how fast I was allowed to develop without it seeming strange. So I decided early in this new life that I would use my older twin brother as an example.

And now, here is my problem. I had no knowledge about child development, yet I was pretty sure that it shouldn't be as fast as Tobirama's was. We were six month old when he started to crawl. I, of course, followed not far behind. We were seven months old when he started to walk. That was something I couldn't copy as easily. Each time I tried to haul myself up, I did not have the strength to do it. My muscles still to underdeveloped and weak to carry my own weight. I was pretty sure that Tobirama didn't have a lot of more strength than I did. Later, if I didn't become some kind of Tsunade, he most likely would but it was still to early for something like this.

So how did he do it? Why wasn't I able to do it?

The answer was easy. Chakra.

From what I know Chakra is a form of life energy that all living beings produce to some degree. Almost everything in this universe has chakra; the humans, the animals, the plants and even the air. Whoever or whatever runs out of chakra will die. The energy itself has two components: Physical and spiritual energy. The physical energy comes from the body and can be increased through training. It gets larger while one grows. Then there is spiritual energy which comes from the mind. I believe it has something to do with the intelligence, maturity or experience a person has. This theory would explain why Hatake Kakashi managed to graduate at such an young age.

Anyway, every person in this universe possesses chakra; they were born with it. I was as well but before I came here I knew a life without this energy. Which brings me to my biggest problem, while my brother managed to unconsciously use chakra to enhance his muscle mass, I needed to focus to do the same. I needed to guide it from my hara to my limbs. To my arms so that I would manage to haul myself up and to my legs so that they could carry my weight.

That's the tricky part. Chakra control wasn't easy. Because Chakra was so unfamiliar to me, I did not have a problem with finding it. But guiding it through my body was a completely other thing. This energy was a living entity. It did not want to be controlled. Especially by a young toddler.

It took me four weeks to manage doing it. And even then I couldn't manage to hold it for a long period. Everyday I trained. For the first couple of them nothing happened. The energy did not move out of my hara. Fortunately, some progress started to show after the first week of trying. It wasn't much but I could feel it moving toward my arms. In the third week I managed to fill my legs and arms with the energy. In fourth week I could hold it long enough to walk a few steps. Tobirama was still better than I was, but he had more training.

The only thing I did not understand was why I got tired so easily. I should have had more Chakra than Tobirama-I was mentally older than he was because of which I should have a lot spiritual energy-, yet it seemed that he could use it longer than I could.

Perhaps I should ponder about this later, I thought as I watched my older twin brother trip over his own feet. I said that he was better than me, that did not make him perfect. Considering that Hashirama managed to catch him in the last second before he hit the ground, Lady Luck must really like Tobirama.

The white haired toddler squealed in delight. ''Hashi,Hashi.''

''Now,now Otouto. You need to be more cautious.'' Our older brother picked Tobirama up and turned around to look at me. By the time our eyes met, I was already halfway across the clearing.

What clearing you ask? Well, we were currently residing in the garden. Let's just say that young Tobirama had a mischievous streak. As I was mentally older than my twin, I should have tried to stop him. By now I knew my twin good enough, thus I didn't even try to. He wouldn't have listened anyway. It was safer for me to accompany him and make sure that he wouldn't hurt himself, than let him out of my sight so that he could wander alone in the compound of a ninja clan. When we arrived at the entrance to the garden it was easy enough to convince him to stay. The garden was something new for my twin, so he wanted to explore it just as much as I did.

''Up, Hashi, up.'' I said to the boy who would once become a legend. Wasn't it awesome that I could boss him around like that? It was, I know you are jealous.

As he was not strong enough to carry the both of us, the older boy sat down onto the lush green grass and pulled each of us onto his lap. Tobirama was sitting on his right leg, I on his left. In such a position, Hashirama gave us the perfect opportunity to play with his hair. One might think that without all the products my old world contained-they did not have any real shampoo here- his hair would be dry or greasy, yet it was the complete opposite. I have never touched such soft and silky hair before. When I got older I would have to as him what he did with it. In the Before some girls would have killed for such hair.

''Oi,Tobirama. Don't rip it out.'' My older brother held my twins closed hand in his own. The younger boy had dark brown hair strands stuck between his fingers.

I snickered and tugged a little stronger than necessary on his hair. ''Not you too,Hisako.''

The Senju heir tried to scowl at us. It looked more like a cute frown. Oh Kami, why did we all have to be so adorable. Maybe we could use it to our advantage? World domination? Everyone would bow before us and our adorableness. Insert mad laughter.

Covering up my inner thoughts, I smiled innocently up at my brother. ''Me good?''

Tobirama copied my action. ''Me good?''

We really were two halves of a whole. Identical twins. I can assure you that if it weren't for our different genders and my slightly girly clothes no one would be able to tell us apart. Perhaps I should be a tomboy in the near future? Wouldn't it be just awesome to confuse the shit out of people? I can already imagine that there would be at least one person left sputtering after confusing me with my brother.

Back to the topic. Hashirama had no chance in wining against us. ''Yes. You're good.''

Tobirama stood in front of me. Determination written all over his face. ''Hisa,play.''

It was obviously meant to be a demand, but come on, how could I take a pouting toddler seriously. He was puffing out his pudgy cheeks and pointing at me with one of his fingers. A bossy little boy. His behavior was so adorable that I just wanted to squeal. It's a good thing that I didn't. Wouldn't want to traumatize my brother.

Tobirama's adorableness served him well because it stopped me from denying him almost anything. He knew that the greatest weapon he had against me were his damn puppy-dog eyes.

Was I being too dramatic? Probably.

I sighted a little and pointed a finger in his direction. ''Tobi hide?''

I really should stop calling him Tobi, as I am sure he wouldn't appreciate being called after a future villain. The situation would only get worse if he ever found out that said villain was an Uchiha. Those darn Uchiha. Horrible bastards. Monsters. Motherfuckers. These are only a few of the insults my clan likes to use. They can be quiet creative when they need or want to be.

I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts. I did not really understand that Senju-Uchiha hatred. I mean I knew where it came from, but that did not mean that I could understand or feel it myself. Although, I am quiet aware that I wouldn't be so sympathetic if they ever hurt someone whom I cared about, I do hope that I would be mature enough to differ between a person and its clan. The inability to do something like that could end with a disaster. Especially in this world, where some people are worse than nuclear bombs. In the Before a good example for such a failure would be the Trojan war. It was Paris who took Helen from the Greeks. A whole nation payed for the sins of one of their own. But were those 'innocent' people really at fault? Why did they have to pay for the sins of one man and woman? Did they deserve it?

Certainly not. It was Paris's and Helen's stupidity and Menelaus's anger which caused it all, yet thousands of people died.

The white haired boy nodded his head vigorously, snapping me out of my thoughts. Tobirama used his tiny palms to cover my eyes, trying to convey a message without using the vocabulary he did not posses. The only reason why I immediately understood what he wanted from me was that I was mentally way older than my physical appearance. My eyelashes must have brushed against his palms when I closed my eyes because he removed his hands from my face. Following that action, I could hear his light footsteps leaving the room.

One, two, three, four, five...

I counted slowly in English, never opening my eyes. Nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two...

I already knew where Tobirama would most likely hide. The garden was a obvious destination as it was one of his favorite places.

Thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven...

Hide and seek was a game that I showed to Tobirama. We haven't met any other children our age till now, so he didn't really know any games himself. But from what I have seen and heard children in this world liked playing 'ninja'. Not that they really had much time to do so before they became true killers anyway. Hashirama was only three years old when his training started, by five Butsuma would take him into the field for the first time. People shouldn't wonder why there are so many sociopaths or psychopaths in this world with the ways that they are raising their own children. Most just can't take what they have been through and break. The only reason this system was still working was because of the social conditioning. Children were raised since their infancy to be killers. The non-shinobi saw the killers in our clan as heroes who protected us from the monsters who lived outside of the clan compound. The strong ones,those who showed great promise, were given special lessons so that they could deal with what was awaiting them. Death was depicted as something normal. Common. And those who did not show any special talents were used as cannon fodder.

Forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty.

I opened my eyes and looked towards the door. I had heard Tobirama walking in the right direction, which predictably lead to the garden. Slowly, I made my way towards the was a traditional Japanese shoji screen, made of translucent paper in a wooden frame. The hallway had the traditional sliding doors everywhere instead of normal walls and doors. Every one of them lead to a different room. The hallway itself was pretty narrow and long. To enter the garden I had to pass through a slightly larger screen, which was located almost at the end of the hallway.

I reached said entrance with unsteady steps. My movement still wasn't perfectly controlled. At times I had to stop walking and lean on the wall to stop myself from tumbling. This little hindrance did not keep me from following my brother.

In the garden I pretended that I didn't notice the few strands of white hair sticking out from behind a sakura tree. I hummed the sweet lullaby that Ryumi liked to sing for us and started to walk on the grass. I looked behind pillars and bushes,larger stones and under the porch. It was then that I heard someone giggling. The giggle wasn't loud but the wind carried it to me.

I sneaked towards the sakura tree, making sure that Tobirama wouldn't notice me coming up to him from behind. Just as I saw him turning around I jumped forward and threw myself on him. We both tumbled down on the grass, a startled shriek leaving my brother's lips. I was positioned above Tobirama, holding my weight off him with my own arms so that I wouldn't crush.

I giggled, ''Found Tobi.''

Using his slightly larger size Tobirama exchanged our position. This was the way that our twisting war started. None of us wanted to loose it, so we continued to roll around in the grass.

At the end of the day, Ryumi wasn't delighted about our behavior. Let's just say that our clothes have seen better days. I don't believe that anyone would ever manage to wash the mud and grass stains out of them.

Nightmare. It is an unpleasant and often frightening dream that can cause a strong emotional response from the mind. The dream may contain situations of discomfort, psychological or physical terror. The affected wakes up in a state of distress and may be unable to fall asleep again. Nightmares have many causes, some can be psychological. One of those so called 'psychological causes' may be a traumatic experience. Dying the way I did could probably be seen as one of those traumatic events.

Since I have arrived in this world I have tried to convince myself that everything was alright. I played the role of the innocent child almost perfectly. But deep inside of me, I knew that I wasn't alright. With all that has happened to me I did not need a psychiatrist to tell me what was wrong with my mind. Roughly, I could do it myself.

I was suffering from a case of PTSD, otherwise known as post-traumatic stress disorder. That's quiet obvious. No need to deny it. I was certain that a professional could tell me a little more about my situation, but as there aren't any of those here whom I could trust telling about my previous life, there wont be any help for me.

Every sane person would think that I was batshit crazy. Not that I was not, but you get it, don't you? Furthermore I had no idea what they do here with people who are not completely sane in the mind and aren't eager to find out.

You know, more than once I wished that I could just forget my old life. I would never go back there. And even if I would, it would take me years to reach that point. Before I was reborn I needed to cross another milestone. Death.

But that does not matter right now.

Forgetting would help me. If I couldn't remember the Before, my nightmares and horrid flashbacks would stop. I would be able to start a new life here. I would stop clinging to the idea of a normal life. I would stop clinging to my old family. I would be free.

I wished that I could forget the Before. I wished that I did not have to feel as if I couldn't breath every time I glimpsed blonde hair.

He was smirking down at me,his sister at his side. With each cry of pain that escaped my lips, his expression seemed to get more dangerous. He enjoyed torturing me.

Having to remember him each time I saw something that reminded me of that evening was slowly killing me.

Oh god, make it make it stop. I'll do whatever it takes. Just make it stop.

Yes, make it stop. Please Kami-sama, make me forget.

Robert Frost once said, "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

He was right. I was a prime example for that. Despite all the difficulties I've had since I found myself in this universe, it did not change the fact that time flew by. That life continued. The days merged together and before I knew what was happening weeks and months have passed. By now I have spend a year here. A year in this new place with this new family. It's mind blowing, really. Where did all that time go? I did not know.

The memories of the Before were still a painful reminder of everything that I have lost. But this pain seemed to get duller over time. Everyday those memories seemed to recede a little bit more in the back of my mind, making it possible for me to be only Senju Hisako instead of Julia Evans. Should I be afraid of this? Probably. I cannot be sure that I am forgetting about my previous life, because even if there are some things that I cannot truly remember anymore, there are those things that are always at the forefront of my mind. I may not remember the name of my old school or all the friends that I once had, but I still know that I am a reincarnation. I know that I do not belong here. Sometimes,when look into a mirror I expect to see a completely other face than I do. The most prominent features that I expect to see are green eyes and auburn hair. I never do and that often leaves me in a moment of confusion.

Through the last year I have wished more than once to forget and now that it's most likely happening, I don't know what to feel. Will I soon forget about everything? Maybe there would be some triggers that would make me remember certain events? Or maybe I wasn't forgetting anything? Was I just trying to convince myself that I was forgetting?

The answer is: I don't know.

There were so many things that I didn't know. And didn't that sound pathetic. I was a sixteen year old girl trapped in a toddlers body, who knew the future of the world she was now living in. This knowledge may have applied to a far off future, but I could still seriously fuck with this universe. For example, what would happen if I stopped Hashirama from ever befriending Madara? What would happen if I got rid of Madara before he ever reached his full power? I am not foolish enough to believe that I could beat him when we got older. But right now he was still a child. Weak. If I somehow managed to direct my fathers attention towards him, it would be Madara's end. This probably wouldn't be only Madara's end,but the Uchiha's as well. Who else than Madara could fight Hashirama in the later years. No one. Besides I could stop the inclusion of one of the noble clans into Konoha.

There were so many things I could do. But did I really want that? Did I really want to play god?

No. I wasn't interested in becoming some kind of hero or villain. Why would I try to change history? The only times I would do that would be to protect those I care about. Only then would I use the knowledge that I posses.

The disappearing rays of sunlight caught my attention, I turned my face to catch their last warmth. We were in the garden once again, this time accompanied by our mother. Hashirma was sitting on the lush and green grass, while the rest of us were situated on the porch. Tobirama and I were each resting our heads on one of our mothers legs. Ryumi was gently stroking our hair and telling us a story. I think it was meant to be some kind of birthday present. As it turned out, people here did not really celebrate birthdays. Only few important milestones were. Our first birthday wasn't one of them.

''...In order to protect the world from the fearsome beast, the Sage of the Six Paths developed a powerful technique and used it to defeat the demon.'' She paused. ''As a final precaution, he used Chibaku Tensei to entomb the physical remains of the demon's body within a gigantic stone prison, which he hurled into the heavens, creating the moon. Because of his deeds he soon became hailed as a god.''

Tobirama's light snores were carried to me by the wind. He had fallen asleep during mother's tale. Hashirama looked just as tired as I was. His eyelids were dropping, his posture hunched. My own childish body longed for sleep, eyes already falling shut.

Ryumi was giving us a soft look, the smile on her face full of tranquility. Without a break, she kept stroking our hair. We watched the sun disappear behind the horizon and the beings of the night awaken; the dancing fireflies lightened up the dark night. The garden shone with an otherworldly glow. It was beautiful. I may not have properly celebrated my birthday for the first time, didn't receive any material gifts, yet I had to admit that this was one of the best birthdays I ever had. Surrounded by the few people I have come to care about, I felt serene.