My name is Dave Strider and I have fallen in love with my best friend. I could have any girl in the world, hell even some guys want me, but the one person I want has totally un-ironiclly friend-zoned me forever. My best friend, John Egbert, was not a homosexual, and reminded me of that fact almost everyday. I have known him for three crazy years. We met online when we were 13 through one of mutual friends, Jade. How Jade knew both of us is still a mystery to me even after all this time. I didn't get to see John everyday, so I not sure when my attraction to him first started but I totally un-ironiclly loved him, every dorky ass bit of him. John lives in Washington, while I live in Texas, making it difficult for us to hang out in person, so we converse online over Pesterchum and Skype. At this current moment, I am waiting for him to get online. After only a few hours of him being away, I must admit to actually missing him. Good thing no one will ever read this uncool feeling of mine.
turntechGodhead began pestering ectoBiologist
TG: sup
EB: dave!
EB: watching Con Air.
EB: the best movie ever.
TG: you and your nick cage movies
TG: you have the gayest crush on that man
EB: hey!
EB: he's an awesome actor.
EB: and no homo.
TG: i know bro
TG: you tell me too many times to forget
TG: and here i thought i had a chance
EB: you don't have to fake flirt with me when you can get any girl in texas.
EB: by the way, why don't you have a girlfriend dave?
EB: or are there too many swooning over strider ass to make a decision?
TG: yes hot babes are throwing themselves at me all day i cant get rid of them
TG: but i do have my eyes set on someone
TG: special
EB: hehe dave has a crush.
EB: what does she look like?
TG: perfection
TG: kinda dorky
TG: but hot as hell
EB: wow dave. i didn't know you were into nerds.
TG: not nerds
TG: just one
EB: why don't you ask her out then?
TG: the one person on this whole planet that isnt into me is the one i fall for
TG: its like fate is against me or some shit
EB: oh man, that sucks.
EB: you should ask her out to see a movie. as 'friends.'
EB: use that strider charm you are always going on about.
TG: my sexy ass strider charm is not enough in this endever
TG: different states
EB: i'm challenging your strider charm.
EB: hehe
TG: are you sure your not gay
TG: that giggle makes me think youre lieing to me
EB: man
EB: not cool.
TG: you wouldnt lie to your best bro now would you
TG: so whats your excuse for not having a girlfriend egderp
EB: ...
EB: well
EB: i have my eye on someone. it's just...
TG: what
EB: it goes against everything i think i am.
TG: is she a stripper or some shit
EB: what?!
EB: eww. no.
EB: well... it's someone at school.
EB: we have homeroom together.
TG: is she hot
TG: she better be like a fucking goddess for my best bro
EB: oh yes.
EB: amazingly hot and smart. famous too.
TG: a model
TG: or youtube famous
EB: youtube.
TG: so she is a stripper
EB: fuck you Strider.
TG: anytime you want egbert
EB: haha. your ego is showing.
TG: whats her name/youtube channel
EB: RomcomRed
I search for the youtube channel, found it with ease and played one of the videos. RomcomRed was an angry dude complaning about life.
TG: dude
TG: you have lied to me all this time
TG: you are so homo
TG: come out of the closet
EB: ...only for this one.
TG: ...
EB: i promise.
TG: i know...
My best bro promising me that he would never love another guy almost made me, a fucking Strider, cry.