To The Man On Track 17,

Do you come here often?

I know it sounds cheesy, but I mean it in the most literal way possible. It doesn't take a genius to realize that you're here everyday at the same time, with the same tie and briefcase and everything else.

Doesn't it get boring?

It must. I can't help but notice that you never smile. You could be talking to your dying grandmother for the entire five minute duration of your nightly phone call, but I know better than to write it off as that (before you say anything about me being creepy, I'll have you know that I work at the souvenir stand by the big map- I can't help but waste my time keeping tabs on the goings on of the surrounding area).

Maybe you're a secret agent or assassin or something, what with your shady shades and classy suit. The only problem with that theory is that this isn't an action movie and those professions require quite a lot of blending in.

What I'm getting at is that you stand out- at least, you did to me.

I can feel you scrunching your nose up at my letter so far, and though I do, admittedly, find that image very cute, I want to clear a few things up.

First- I am not in love with you. Even if I did call you cute a few sentences ago. Yeah, that's not a possibility. At all. (Unless you're interested, that is)

Second- Why the hell are you still using a flip phone? I mean, the early 2000's called, they want their phone back. Heh...because, you know, no one uses those any more unless they plan on throwing them out after one use.

OH MY GOD WAIT-

Are you a drug dealer?! I mean, that's cool and all, but seriously, if that really is the case, you need to work on hiding it a little better. If I can figure it out, anyone can.

Okay, so that's all I really can think of to write at this point, so I'm just gonna stop here. Yup.

Man, this is just awkward isn't it?

With totally not creepy regards,

The Underpaid Employee with Too Much Time on Their Hands

To The Underpaid Employee,

It was quite a shock to find a crumpled flyer advertising "50% off ALL Danish flag boxers" in the pocket of my suitcoat. Could you really not find anything else to express your more-than-slightly creepy stalker feelings on?

And before you attempt to protest that you aren't creepy or a stalker, just think about this- you managed to sneak a shoddily written letter about how your intentions are anything but creepy into my briefcase without being noticed. Yes, you are creepy, and yes, you could most definitely be considered a stalker.

I will admit, albeit grudgingly, that I do feel inclined to answer your questions, for some odd reason.

Your first query is far too idiotic to be answered for the second time. You already answered it yourself in your letter to me, but yes, I do come here often. In fact, most people ride trains when they can't walk or drive, idiot.

It does not, in fact, "get boring". Like other people, I use the train to get home from work every day. I knew there would be a long commute when I applied, and trust me when I say I've felt boredom far beyond that of a short wait for the last train of the night.

While I'm on the subject of jobs, let me confirm that I am not a secret agent, an assassin, or a drug dealer. I work at a failing law firm, which is just about as exciting as it sounds. I almost envy your position.

My grandmother is already dead so no, I'm not on the phone with her every day. I never smile because there is no reason to smile, especially since I now have to worry about the "early 2000's wanting their phone back".

That was sarcasm if you didn't get that. I highly doubt you did. You seem like the slow type.

I am not and will never be interested in you,

The Man On Track 17

TBC (hopefully :/ you've got an unreliable writer on your hands)

I resisted long enough, but here I am. Writing fanfiction about gay anime countries. AND GOD, AM I EXCITED TO DO THIS!1!

This was originally a journal write for my creative writing class, but as I continued it, I couldn't resist making it into a Denmark x Norway fic... the scenario just fit so well XD

Please don't hesitate to review and all that mess. I hope you enjoyed~