Witch!AU because I'm trash. For Nataliebug2- hope you enjoy it, even if it is a little late. Hope everyone had a happy halloween!

On a night as dark and foggy as theirs, one would think that those with any common sense would be staying in doors and out of the forest just beyond the town. Witches, though, liked such nights- perfect for hiding, perfect for casting. Perhaps outside of the Higher Order School young witches and warlocks weren't supposed to cast their own magic. But then, who was around to stop them?

"Okay, okay, okay." Laughing, Orihime adjusted her robes, pushing up her sleeves as she went. "So you can summon a sprite demon. But I bet you can't summon anything higher than that!"

Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow at the girl before him. When they'd first met, her goading wouldn't have done a thing to spur him on, but that had been years ago. The only witch for miles and miles around, Orihime was the one person he could practice with in the summers. She was a crafty little witch, too, and because she was probably the first witch in history to have mastered a perfect healing spell, he had to admit he was not always as careful with his magic around her as he should have been.

Bat eyes glowing in the dark, he scoffed. "I am not a child to be so easily tricked into summoning other spirits for you, woman."

"Oh come on." She twirled her wand in the dirt, causing wild green plants with heads of orange and yellow to spring from the ground. She never seemed to notice how the floral life reacted to her, but he damn well did. It had been months since they'd gone down to the lake, and he still had yet to get his boat pulled free of the river weeds she'd attracted. "We're already out here. Might as well! And besides, think of how much we'll have advanced when school starts again."

"The officials will be suspicious."

"Aren't they always?"

They'd had this conversation before. Rolling his eyes, he pulled the heavy tomb that was his mother's spell book from his lap, pushing it over to Orihime. "I'll take one request."

"I don't know what I want to see." idly, she flipped through the book before pausing. "Hey," she said, "Do you think if we both tried hard enough we could summon Grimmjow?"

"I refuse."

She giggled.

"Just pick something. We need to be back before dawn, hurry up."

"Okay, fine. You'll summon..." Closing the book and her eyes, she randomly flipped to a page, thrusting her finger down into the middle of it. "This!"

He raised an eyebrow as he looked over at what she'd chosen. "A lust demon?"

"A lust demon!" She echoed. She slipped back over to his side to read the text. "If you summon a lower level lust demon, it will only be an image of sorts; a mirage." She summarized. "That sounds like fun!"

"It sounds like you're asking me for 3D porn." He muttered.

She paused. "Do you think we could do that?"

"Move aside." Not caring to answer her question, he raised his fingers, shivering slightly as black and green energy started to form between his palms. He could feel his warlock markings throbbing to life on his face; long stark black tears. "I'll summon a lust demon, and then you will make me tea leaves. Understood?"

"Got it!" Excited, Orihime backed up, watching as his magic became more defined. A ball formed at the tip of his right index finger.

Slowly, Ulquiorra began to mutter his chant, glancing down at his book every so often. Lines of green began to appear in the dirt before him, coloring the mist a bright aqua.

The ground moved.

"Here it comes!"

With a loud pop and a hiss of smoke, a form appeared before them, tangled in the mist. It took a moment for the smoke of the spell to clear, but when it did, Orihime's eyebrows drew together at a point.

"Um..."

Ulquiorra was staring at the demon, wide-eyed.

"Ulquiorra." The figure purred. She leaned forward, biting her plump lower lip as her burnt orange hair fell around her face. She was dressed in a very familiar dress- one that had premiered on a certain witch last formal. Big puffy white shoulders that lead into thin long sleeves, a cape, black and silver boots, and then curious little blue flower pins in her hair.

"It's me." Orihime couldn't help but say.

Ulquiorra hadn't moved an inch. "Ah." He cleared his throat, awkwardly.

"Did you do a mirror spell or something by accident?" Dropping to the ground, Orihime hauled Ulquiorra's spell book into her lap, reading the finer details of the spell. "It says here that- oh." Her eyes went impossibly wide. They hadn't taken the time to read into the fine print, but it was very clearly stated that a demon of lust would appear as whatever- or whoever- most invoked sexual feelings in the caster. Unless adding a linked spell to create someone else's sexual desires, in which case, one only needed to add on the next paragraph... blah-blah-blah.

"Well." Ulquiorra quickly turned his back to the demon, face blank as usual. "That was a colossal waste of time."

Flushing, Orihime stuttered out a half-hearted, "Well, um, at least you did it!"

He turned to scowl at her. "How about you, woman?" He seemed to be irritated. "How you try the spell? It's been a good while since we've seen Kurosaki."

She gasped. "You take that back!"

"I do not lie." He crossed his arms. "Go on then."

"I don't even have a crush on him any more! You watch and see!" Standing herself, Orihime held out her hands, ignoring Ulquiorra as he released his own demon. Golden light began to grow before her hands in the shape of a triangle. Quickly, she whispered out the spell, ignoring the massive toll it took on her energy levels as she suddenly felt herself droop. She watched as her triangle turned into a pyramid, expanding and thickening until it was a glowing orange figure in the dirt. As suddenly as she'd created it, the glass shattered.

And there was Ulquiorra.

"Inoue Orihime." He said. He was wearing those damned glasses that he always put on when they were studying the older texts- the ones that could translate similar languages for him. That and his stupid black sweater, the one that went with his black skinny jeans and boots. His eyes had taken on his true warlock form; green scleral, yellow irises, and pupils with an even more pronounced slit.

She turned to scowl at Ulquiorra, but he appeared shocked. "You said you hated those glasses." He said slowly.

"And you said you hated my last haircut!"

"Well it appears we're both liars." He stooped and grabbed his book, slamming it shut. With a flick of his wrist, he shot a green bolt of energy through his look-alike, effectively ending its summons. "Let's be on our way."

"Hey! Are we not going to talk about how awkward that was?!"

"No."

"But-" She pulled up her robes and took off after him, scowling. "Hey! Slow down!"

"We should not have done that." he called back to her.

"I know but- w-wait a miunte!" With a frustrated grunt, she held her hands out in front of her. "Shun-shun-Rika, I reject." Her channeling words closed the gap in the trees before Ulquiorra could leave her, effectually caging them both in.

He turned. "You do realize I can fly, don't you?" He pointed up at the sky; his easy escape route.

"I know that." She growled. "But I just... um..." Suddenly she was embarrassed. He was kind of right- what did they have to talk about? "Well..."

He sighed. "This never happened." He said slowly.

She nodded.

"We are going to put this chapter on the shelf with the others, and re-visit it some other time if need be. For now, though, it matters not."

"Right!" She felt better already.

"And in the meantime," He smirked. "I will find those jeans." He turned to leave.

Face going up in flames, Orihime could feel her hair beginning to curl with her embarrassment. "N-now- hold on a minute! That's not f-fair."

"Oh?" He clearly didn't care, and he clearly was going to use those damn jeans against her in the near future.

Not on her watch. Narrowing her eyes, she took her wand and flicked it at him, muttering a return spell. He didn't even turn to look at the poof of smoke that appeared at his back as he stared at her, mouth pressed into a thin line as he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Ulquiorra-kun," the lust demon called.

Orihime smirked, crossing her arms. It was wearing a different outfit this time; one of her old 'best' ones. Black skirt, white shirt, red belt, black pull-over. "Ah-ha!" She cried. "I still have that skirt!"

Eyes narrowed, Ulquiorra summoned his own magic. A mouth in space appeared to her side, and out spilled her earlier pyramid of gold. It hatched without a moment's notice.

"Woman." It said. The figure was wearing only hakama- this particular figure was from a sparring match they'd had. His tattoo number four stood out against its pale skin.

Ulquiorra simply stared at her, as if daring her to retaliate.

She turned and pointed her want at his likeness, to expel the demon, but found he'd summoned yet another one of her golden pyramids. And there was horned-Ulquiorra, only wearing his formal warlock pants. She'd been the only one at his exam last year, and she'd been treated to the site.

"That's not fair!" She yelled. Flicking her wrist she copied his demon and pulled them both forward and into his line of site. The new one was wearing a bathing suite; the bright yellow and green one from spring break.

Once he saw it, he immediately threw his hands up in the air. "Enough." He growled. "I tire of this game."

"G-good." Pink, she shot two beams of light at Ulquiorra's likenesses, watching as they turned to dust and carried away on the wind. She turned back to find him doing the same to her own clones. "Sorry..."

He nodded. "I was foolish to tease you."

"Chapter closed." She reminded him.

"Put away on the shelf." He echoed.

"..."

"..."

"I'm still going to find that skirt."

He raised a brow at her. "Then prepare for the return of those jeans."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Alright."

"..."

"Movies at my house?" Orihime tried.

He seemed to consider it. After a moment, he nodded.

They'd both kind of known what their lust demons would look like, anyways. Best friends didn't keep secrets.

... Well, weren't supposed to, anyway.

And as long as he doesn't find out-

And as long as she doesn't find out-

It's fine to stay that way.