Chapter 1: Glass
Kurt Wagner was distant during his science class, distantly glancing out of the window, tapping a pencil upon his bottom teeth absently, he couldn't concentrate, his mind wandering elsewhere. He heard his teacher call his name, and ask a question he only heard the last half of. He made a wild guess to the answer, luckily being right – he kicked himself mentally for not having paid attention, and yet, still his thoughts drifted away from school work, to more pressing matters.
It had been almost a month since the incident at the Mansion – two mutants associated with Magneto, Gambit and Miss Marvel had passed the alarm systems, destroyed all of the computers in the War Room, and then had tried to abduct Rogue. Miss Marvel still lay in a coma in the hospital wing of the Mansion – unfortunately, so did Rogue.
He'd been distracted lately, couldn't think about anything else but Rogue – could he have done more? He regretted having not been fast enough to try and save her before she and Miss Marvel had fallen from the sky. He wondered if he had acted upon her plead for help, would she be in a coma at this very moment?
Kurt looked down at the desk, and distantly pressed his pencil down into the wood, denting it. Things had not been the same at the Mansion – even School hadn't been the same. His grades were falling, he couldn't help but blame himself for Rogue's condition, he would be up all night thinking about it, and when he wasn't, he would dream of it. The others tried to act like nothing had ever changed – but there was an emptiness in the Mansion, the lack of Rogue's sarcastic comments, the lack of loud death music shaking the building.
"Kurt, are you paying attention?" his teacher requested of him.
"Yes, sorry…" he pulled himself together, and tried to focus, he could feel the eyes of the other students on him, he felt so out in the open, usually he'd be sitting there in science class beside Rogue. He felt so alone without her there.
The teacher finished talking, and left the students to write about the subjects she'd spoken of. Kurt doodled in his workbook, still finding it difficult to concentrate, behind him, he could hear whispers.
"What ever happened to that freak with the streak?" one of the voices behind him whispered.
"I don't know, I heard she killed herself," another voice chimed in.
Kurt clenched his fist and spun around looking at them, they took no notice of him, sitting at the bench, huddled together, whispering about the whereabouts of Rogue.
"Wouldn't be surprised, she'd be doing us all a favour," one of the others – a pretty blonde – stated.
Kurt hurried over, "for your information, she's not dead, she's ill!" he retorted, anger growing.
"Yeah, mentally ill," a dark haired boy remarked.
Kurt could not control himself, he grabbed the boy by the collar, and pulled him so close, "take that back!"
"Kurt Wagner!" he heard the teacher gasp.
Kurt looked over his shoulder, he saw the teacher with her arms folded, she didn't look happy, "sorry…" he muttered, he let go of the boy's collar.
"Detention after school, Kurt," the teacher stated, and then went back to her desk.
Kurt uttered a swear word under his breath, this wasn't his day.
Lunch time was straight after science class, and Kurt's mood had not improved, he went to sit with his friends at the table they always Sat at, Scott with his arm around Jean, Evan trying to fix a strap on his skateboarding helmet and Kitty, picking at a salad.
"Hi Kurt," Kitty glanced up at him, it was clear by the expression on his face that he was angry. "You look pissed,"
"I got detention after school," he growled, he sat down, placing his lunch tray down.
"What did you do?"
"Almost started a fight," Kurt stated, and this was all he was willing to talk about.
The others all looked at each other. It was no secret that Kurt had not been the same since Rogue had fallen into the Coma, he'd spend hours keeping vigil by her bed in the hospital wing, talking to her as if she were awake. His grades were getting lower, and he wasn't sleeping at night, they could all see exhaustion in his face – even with the image inducer working on him at that moment, it did not hide the stress.
"Kurt, did you not sleep again last night?" Jean asked.
"I slept a little," he lied, taking a small bite of his macaroni and cheese.
"You look tired," Scott admitted.
"Please drop it, I'm fine," Kurt pushed his food away, not hungry.
"Kurt, we're not just going to sit back and watch you keep torturing yourself about Rogue…" Scott stated.
"I said drop it already!" Kurt snarled. Their eyes all widened, it wasn't like Kurt to get angry at his friends. "Just stop treating me like I'm glass – I won't break," he uttered, and without another word, he teleported out of sight in a split second.
"He might not break, but I definitely think his glass has definitely CRACKED," Evan rolled his eyes.
"Hope no one saw that…" Kitty looked around, "people here are paranoid as it is about mutants."
Jean ran her fingers through her silken red hair, "I guess we can't blame him for being upset," she admitted, and leaned forward on the table, "since he found out about Mystique having adopted Rogue, he feels as if they're siblings, a bond…"
"I remember he said that just before this whole thing," Evan admitted.
"Has there been no change in Rogue's condition?" Kitty asked.
Jean propped her chin on her hand, elbow on the table, "Rogue's condition hasn't changed, she might not seem to be getting better but she certainly isn't getting worse…"
Kitty sighed, "this whole thing is so depressing…nothing is the same lately."
Scott gave a solemn nod, and pushed his glasses up his nose a little. "I know what you mean, Kitty…I know what you mean."
Kurt got home later than everyone else that day – because of detention. When he arrived in the doors of the mansion, he heard Professor Xavier's voice in his head, asking him to come see him immediately. Kurt had a horrible feeling his teacher had called Professor Xavier about the behaviour in class today.
He headed into Professor Xavier's office, the Professor behind his desk, fingers twined together, pressed on the desk, "Kurt, have a seat…" he offered.
Kurt walked over to the leather chair Professor Xavier was gesturing to, and he sat down slowly, carefully, keeping his eyes on the Professor, "am I in trouble?" he asked nervously.
"Principle Kelly telephoned me today," Professor Xavier explained sombrely.
"Oh…" Kurt looked down at the desk, trying to avoid eye contact with the professor.
"He tells me your grades are slipping, Kurt. Three of your teachers complain about you not paying attention in class, and today one of your teachers – Mrs Prachett – complained that you were fighting in Science class…"
Kurt looked up at the Professor, "I did not fight anyone in Science class!" he gasped in shock, "some kids made rude remarks about Rogue, and I grabbed one of the guys by the collar, I didn't hit anyone…"
"Kurt, you know better than that," Professor Xavier looked at him, "and if you do not keep your grades up and behave better in class they will dismiss you from school for good…is this what you want?"
"No…"
"Then please, pull yourself together…"
Kurt looked down, trying to not cry, he did not want to let Professor Xavier see him in such a state.
"Kurt, I know you're upset about Rogue…we ALL are, but no matter what goes on around us, no matter the circumstances we live in or the pain we must endure every day – we must continue to live life as we would any other normal day. Rogue would not want you grieving for her as if she were dead," Professor Xavier pointed out.
"I know that, Professor…" Kurt looked at him, "But I can't get my mind off of it…I try hard, I try to do good in School, I try to sleep at night, but it doesn't work."
There was an uncomfortable silence between them, they looked at each other, the only sounds were the ticking of an old clock on the mantle across the room, and the sound of some laughter outside near the basketball court. It remained this way for some moments.
"You still feel guilty," Professor Xavier finally stated.
"Yes…" Kurt swallowed, and blinked back tears, "I do…I didn't help her, I should have."
"Kurt…we have been through this several times now…" Professor Xavier used a comforting voice and leaned forward a little, still keeping his eyes on Kurt's eyes, hoping that if he could look him straight in the eyes, Kurt would somehow know everything was alright.
"I know we have!" Kurt stood up, he threw his hands up in the air in frustration, "I've heard it so many times from everyone that I have it memorised in my head! I'm sick of people telling me it'll be alright, and that it wasn't my fault…trying to drill it into my head about it again and again does not make it any easier to cope with!" he walked over to the door, and stood there, looking at the Professor, "no matter what anyone tells me I know this is my fault, and I have to live with it for the rest of my life…" he blinked back more tears, he put his hand on the doorknob, ready to leave, but he stopped, when Professor Xavier's desktop communicator went off.
"Professor…" it was Hank's voice.
Professor Xavier pressed the talk button, "Yes, Hank?"
And then the reply, as sweet as a bird singing, or like having been told you've won the lottery – the best news on earth, "Rogue has come to."