Title: Poseidon's Box
Author: Erin (erinm_)
Characters, Pairing: Krieg, Ortiz, O'Neill, Xena, Joxer, Gabrielle, Argo, Hercules, Iolaus, Zeus, Poseidon and Bridger (mention of Ulysses, Ares, Discord, Hera and Hitchcock)
Rating: PG
Summary: An innocent misunderstanding leads three men into the past, where there are more misunderstandings. CRACK. Really... no substance here. I barely remember the Xena fandom as it is... Blame casting.
Warning: during Season One of seaQuest and post-Ulysses (Episode 219) for Xena: Warrior Princess *Written for Round 10 of prompt_in_a_box on LiveJournal. Prompt: lost
Disclaimer: The original characters of seaQuest belong to Rockne S. O'Bannon, Steven Spielberg and NBC. The original characters of Xena: Warrior Princess and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys belong to Sam Raimi, Rob Tapert and Universal.

Ben Krieg stood with his hands on his waist and looked at their surroundings as Miguel Ortiz and Tim O'Neill moved a box away from the water's edge. "Well," Ben stated, dropping his hands. "I have no clue where we are... Bridger's gonna freak."

"Oh, come on, Ben," Ortiz said, looking up from the box. "You know he won't blame you... much," he added with a laugh. Ben tried to smack him, but Ortiz moved back. Tim was ignoring both of them and going over what had just happened. The three of them had been moving the artifact to a storage container, picking it up together, and there was a flash of light.

Next thing they knew, the three of them were standing on a remote beach.

Hearing voices, Tim peeked through a nearby bush to see who was coming toward them. He saw a young blonde woman and a taller, dark-haired woman, as well as a tan horse. "He was supposed to stay with us, not go ahead," Tim heard the taller woman say.

"I didn't tell him to go," the blonde stated. Tim backed away from the bush to warn his friends, but his movement caught the attention of the women. A moment later, Tim was backing up as a sword pushed him back, followed by the dark-haired woman.

"Guys," Tim said hurriedly. Ortiz and Ben looked up and their jaws dropped. Before they realized it, the blonde was behind them with her staff drawn. The woman holding the sword looked at Tim for a second then dropped the sword with a huff.

"I could have killed you, you know." Tim was still frozen with fear. "What are you wearing?" she added, looking him over. Tim looked down, too, not sure if it was a trick question.

"My uniform," he stammered. The woman gave him a look and noticed the other two men. Well, she noticed Krieg.

"Ulysses?" The other woman dropped her staff at the name, sharing an exasperated look with her friend.

"Excuse me," Tim said slowly. "Who are you?" He didn't understand why she was looking at him like that.

"Very funny, Joxer. We don't have time for this," she waved.

"My name, ma'am, is Tim O'Neill." She gave him a mocking nod and moved to Ortiz and Ben, who were paying a bit more attention to her clothes, or lack thereof.

"Ulysses, what are you doing out of Ithaca?"

"Ithaca?" Ben asked. Tim snorted, knowing his friend probably had no knowledge of Greek mythology.

"Actually," Ortiz waved to Ben. "It's Ben Krieg. And you are?"

She raised an eyebrow in Ortiz's direction and considered him for a moment before replying: "Xena." Turning so that she was facing both Ben and Tim, she asked: "What is wrong with the two of you?"

"I think you have us confused with-" Tim started, but was interrupted by a rustle in the bushes behind them. Everyone stopped, waiting to see what was making the noise.

"Xena! There you are." Xena's head tilted to one side. "Gabrielle, I told you to wait for me. Hi," Joxer nodded to Ortiz and Ben. "I told you I'd be right..." he trailed off, wondering why Gabrielle was looking at him with one eyebrow raised. It took a second for him to realize that the three men weren't normally part of the group. "Ulysses!"

Ben threw his arms up and turned away. "I give up! You try, Miguel." Xena and Gabrielle were still looking between Joxer and Tim and Joxer finally realized why they were staring.

"Wow!" he breathed. Ortiz and Ben had also noticed the resemblance.

"Joxer, do you have a brother you want to tell us about?" Xena asked.

"Not today," Joxer mumbled.

"Okay," Ben said, stepping into the middle of the circle with his hands raised. "Where are we? Better yet, when are we? Because there is no way this is 2019."

Xena and Gabrielle looked at him as if he was crazy. "Look, Uly-"

Ben threw up a hand. "Krieg. Ben Krieg," he said slowly.

Tim stepped forward and gave Xena a nervous smile. "When you say 'Ulysses'... you mean the Ulysses? As in, King of Ithaca? Sent on a wild goose chase by Poseidon?" Xena nodded and Tim began to laugh nervously.

"What, Tim?" Ortiz asked.

"Oh, Bridger is gonna freak." Tim composed himself and pointed to the box. "Look, we found this thing - it's Ancient Greek - but I don't know what. I think it sent us back in time." He gave Xena's attire a quick glance and added: "Way back in time."

After a few minutes of trying to convince Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer that they were not Ulysses, Joxer or any type of demon, Xena waved them to the road. "Come with us," she said. "We're on our way to visit a friend. He might be able to help you with that," she nodded to the box. "Or he'll know someone who does." The three of them heaved the box onto the back of the cart the horse was pulling and they were off, heading inland across some of the most beautiful countryside any of them had ever seen.

"Reminds me of New Zealand," Ortiz announced at one point. "Before Hollywood packed up and moved out there." Nearly half a day's walk brought the group to a farmhouse, currently being guarded by a short blonde man. Spotting them, he jumped up with a wide smile and rushed to meet them at the gate.

"Xena! Gabrielle," he greeted them cheerily.

"Iolaus, how are you?"

"Fantastic, you?" he asked, still grinning. Both women shrugged and he turned toward Joxer. "Joxer, uh..." he trailed off, spotting Tim. He threw a look to Xena, who shook her head.

"Don't ask. Is he here?" she nodded toward the house.

"Inside." Xena pushed past, leaving him with Gabrielle and the boys. She made it about three steps when the door opened and a large man exited.

"Xena, you made it." They hugged and he looked toward the group. "Your traveling party seems to have grown," he added with a laugh.

Xena smiled. "Actually, these men are lost, Hercules. I was hoping you might be able to help them," she said as they moved to the group. Hercules gave Gabrielle a hug and then looked the men up and down.

"Where are you headed?"

"2019 would be nice," Ben snapped irritably. Hercules raised an eyebrow and looked to the box as Xena pointed.

"They found this and went from a room to the beach in an instant." Hercules stepped over to the cart, taking a moment to rub Argo's nose in greeting. "Thought you might know someone who knows what it is," she offered with a hint of sarcasm.

"Or how to reverse it," Tim added.

"Well, it looks familiar. Maybe my father will know." Hercules pointed between Joxer and Tim and raised an eyebrow. "Are you two-" Both men shook their heads. "Weird. Sorry, where are my manners? Hercules," he announced, holding out a hand to Tim.

Tim looked like he'd just been slapped, Ben had his usual expression and Ortiz reached for Hercules' hand. "Miguel Ortiz. And that's Tim O'Neill and Ben Krieg."

"Nice to meet you," Hercules nodded. "Excuse me," he said and stepped back. Looking up, he shouted: "Zeus! Now!"

"Cranky?" Zeus asked, appearing a second later. Hercules gave him a look and motioned to the group.

"We need you to look at something." The two men moved over to the cart and Zeus went straight to the box. Tim looked like he was about to faint. Zeus? The Zeus? Who'd ever believe that?

"Yes, yes. That would be my brother's work."

"Any idea what it does?" Hercules asked, looking down on his father.

"How would I know? Ask Poseidon." The scoff from Xena caused Zeus to look up and, spotting Ben, he raised an eyebrow.

"Ben Krieg. UEO. This thing," he pointed to the box. "-apparently sent us back in time and we'd really like to get back there. Not that you don't have a nice place here," he huffed. Zeus raised an eyebrow and glanced at Hercules, who simply shrugged.

"Well, it seems my dear brother has moved into practical jokes. That is usually the job of Discord... or my lovely wife," Zeus added with a slight roll of his eyes. "Speaking of which, where is your mother?"

Hercules sighed and crossed his arms. "The box?"

"Ah, yes," Zeus hemmed, glancing toward the house again. "Well, you'll have to ask Poseidon. Not you," he said, nodding to Xena. "Nor you, young man," he added, pointing to Ben.

"Why? What did I do?"

Zeus smiled. "You bear a striking resemblance to Ulysses, King of Ithaca." Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer nodded. In fact, Ben was pretty sure the horse nodded, as well. "He and Poseidon don't necessarily see eye to eye." Glancing toward Tim, he added: "Your friend, here, can explain it."

"Okay, how do we find this guy?" Ortiz asked. Gabrielle and Iolaus shared a look and each took a not-so-subtle step back.

"Please," Zeus nodded toward them. "-it only backfired the one time. And it was Hera having her fun. She's not mad today... at least not for another hour," he added with a wink in Hercules' direction. Hercules gave him a wave and nudged Xena, moving both of them closer to Argo. Ben turned toward to Tim to ask what was going on and found himself, and the rest of them, standing on a rock outcrop, high over the ocean. Hercules pushed him along behind Zeus, followed by Tim, Ortiz, Iolaus and Gabrielle. Xena, Joxer and Argo brought up the rear.

"Poseidon! My brother! A word?" Zeus called out in a booming voice. There was a low rumble, getting louder as the mighty God rose from the water. Tim probably would've fainted if he'd not been flanked by his best friends. "These men found a box of yours and have appeared in our world. They need your help to return to their time."

"They removed my property from my archive. The punishment for this can not be forgiven."

"Whoa, buddy!" Ben yelled, pushing around Zeus and pointing to the box. "We only moved it to keep it safe. Nothing more! We were not trying to steal it."

"You did not heed the warning."

"Yes, we did!" Ben shouted back. "An earthquake shifted the ocean floor and the cavern opened up. If we didn't move the box, someone else would have found it and, believe me, you don't want that." Poseidon glared at them and Ben threw his hands up, waving Miguel forward.

"We are keepers of peace... sir," he stammered. "Can't you just put it somewhere else? Like... Antarctica?"

"Where?" Gabrielle asked Iolaus. He shrugged and turned to see if Hercules or Xena knew.

"These are honest men, brother," Zeus offered, looking up to his brother. "Spare them the curse and return them to their own time with a warning."

"Very well," Poseidon finally agreed. "You will be returned from whence you came."

"Thank you, sir," Ben said with a loud sigh. He turned to Ortiz and Tim, then nodded to Xena and Hercules. "Thanks for your help."

"It's no trouble," Xena smiled.

Ortiz nodded to Joxer. "It's been... different."

"You can say that again," Joxer nodded and stuck out his hand.

Tim leaned closer to Gabrielle and Iolaus and nodded toward Zeus and Hercules. "How can you be so calm around them?" Gabrielle smiled as Iolaus took Tim's hand.

"You get used to it. Just be glad Ares didn't show up." Ben stepped over and nodded to Gabrielle.

"You really are like Ulysses, you know," Gabrielle informed him.

"Is that good?" Ben asked with a smirk.

"Well, all he wanted to do was get home to his wife." Tim and Ortiz snorted and looked away as Ben's eyes went wide.

"Oh, I'm not..." he replied, shaking his head as Poseidon waved his trident toward them and, a moment later, Ben, Tim and Ortiz were back in the cavern.

"Wow," Tim stated.

"You can say that again," Ben stated.

"Wow," Tim repeated, still trying to wrap his brain around what they'd just seen. Miguel and Ben gave him a dirty look.

"Can we get out of here?" Ortiz asked, shivering. "This place creeps me out." Ben and Tim nodded and they headed for the launch.

Back on seaQuest, the trio learned that no one even knew they were missing; their half-day adventure hadn't endured longer than an hour by the ship's clocks. All the three of them could figure was that Poseidon had sent them back to the exact moment they'd picked up the box.

Bridger asked for a report, which simply stated that the cavern was empty. As the men shuffled out of the Ward Room, Ben turned back. "Sir, do you know of Ulysses?"

Bridger smiled slightly and shrugged. "I know of Odysseus. Same story, different name, really." Ben frowned and Bridger moved around the table. "It just so happens that I have a copy of the Odyssey, Lieutenant," Bridger nodded, clapping a hand to Ben's shoulder.

As the two men headed out of the Ward Room, a shadow of Poseidon's face appeared in the water of Darwin's tube, and he was smirking.

Yes, I know that Joxer wasn't in the episode... but let's just pretend that, for whatever reason, he know what Ulysses looks like. Again: it's been a while. :p
Fun fact: This originally was plotted BEFORE Lyre, Lyre... so the line about Joxer's brother is kinda *gigglesnort*-worthy. Can't remember if we'd seen Jed yet, either... The issues of half-plotted fic seeing the light of day, years later, you know...