Tempted

This is a warning: Some adult language abounds. And a little bit of violence too.

This is a disclaimer: Kusari (myself) does not own Bleach, nor will he ever. He does not even own the rights to a single character. Believe you me, if he did, shit would hit the fan.

This is a summary: Sometimes, you can't help but drag others down with you. Misery loves company.

The allure of the crow call has summoned my presence back to this world. This barren landscape of one tree and solitude. Gryph remains on his branch, not even bothering to spare me a passing glance. Kinshara sits not far away as usual. She has more confidence now that the beast will not try a sick stunt as he did some time ago. Has it been a year since then already?

There's too much quiet and not enough to think about. I'm not even sure exactly why I feel the need to remained retreated here but there is nothing requiring my attention on the outside. It's past 11 pm and the office is empty. Kira was off drinking with his friends, late this time. And all of the other officers in the 3rd had long since gone home. But I decided to flee to my private study, to think. And to access the soulscape for reasons unknown.

All of Gryph's movements and shiftings on his perch were all to audible, deliberate even. He was subliminally trying to garner my attention? As to why, you're asking the wrong man. Kinshara paid him very little heed and continued to snooze. She saw no need in feeding his negative mood. Then again, when was he ever even remotely positive?

Maybe this opportunity can be utilized to sort through some of my more confusing thoughts as of late. There never seems to be any time during the hours of the day. Between balancing Shinigami duties and various personal issues, little time is given to the more personal concerns. Shinji has remained in contact with the rest of our troop back in the Living World. Kensei tries not to get too involved since there really was nothing for him there anymore. But me? Sometimes I gave my greetings. It was best to remain hasty though due to prior involvements.

Avoiding wasn't quite the word I'd use to describe my interactions with those left behind. What reason would I have to shirk my friendship with them? There was no solid reason. I can't say it's because of lingering feelings, that's for sure. She and I weren't like that, nor would we ever be. I'd be barking up the wrong tree to even consider that option. Never date a co-worker. So to speak.

I'll be damned if she never crossed my mind. And I'll be even more damned if I denied missing her company. There normally weren't many words between us but just having a similar being nearby is somehow comforting. A like-minded individual with a fairly high level of intelligence. She was in many ways my intellectual equal, despite being younger and of less physical standing. "Never judge a book by its cover" was probably the best cliche in my case.

We go way back, her and I. Farther than most would care to hear about if I was commanded to tell the entire story of my life. Those were stranger times as the word Shinigami wasn't even in my vocabulary. And Hollows were just monsters in the closet or under the bed. Not soul-sharers that could rip you to shreds from the inside out if you let your guard down.

You talk too much. Shut the hell up.

It's not even worth it to call him rude. He was far worse than that but it's counterproductive to get into a war of words with a monster only interested in saving its own skin. Any sensible human be would be able to differentiate a situation like this as being hopeless instead of being a battle worth fighting. I'd love to believe I was a sensible human being, after all.

I can hear every goddamn internal word you bastard. Don't think I can't.

You're not five years old. Have some decency.

This was beginning to look like a third grade classroom. One with a pair of students who always seemed to be at odds with each other. Anything one could do, the other claimed to be able to do better. Both Gryph and Kinshara were far too old to be feuding so childishly. Gryph's ramblings did not deserve even the cruelest of responses. He was fishing for anger to feed off of. But he wouldn't find it here.

"Enough." Time to put my foot down.

That quieted each of them down without another protest. But was Gryph done for the evening? Something told me he had only just begun. Maybe it was in my best interest to keep my wits about me so as to avoid another violent incident. There'd be no suspended organs or blood-painted limbs this time around.

The disgruntled bird hopped down a few branches so that he was visible to my eyes and those of my vulpine counterpart. But he dared not spread his wings and fly lower for fear of being choked out once more by the biting wrath of his polar opposite. There was still a visible scar parting the feathers of his neck from where Kinshara had him in a choke hold. The puncture wounds probably went down at least an inch and left scar tissue.

My eyes watched him in bored curiosity as he preened the primary feathers of his left wing. They were jet black in color, with an odd shine. Paradise crows were in the bird of paradise family. Birds of paradise were native to a place with no natural predators. So the many species went without threats for centuries. Their plumage became more and more beautiful with every new generation. Gryph may have been a Hollow being but he had that distinct unruffled beauty of any paradise avian.

Come to think of it, there was a flower sharing the same name. Bird of paradise, the symbol of Squad 8. Their meaning, 'everything is obtained,' was one I could never rightly fathom. Marigolds, the tell-tale flora of the 3rd, represented despair. One didn't have to be a battled-hardened warrior who'd lived over five centuries to understand despair. But that's another subject entirely.

She had been a notable member of the 8th once. Back in the days when I was still a newbie to this whole Captain business. Kyouraku Taicho kept her close, as his trusted Vice Captain. Perhaps he put a little too much faith in her, though. It was he that sent her out that night when we had all met our Fates. No one was physically killed but there were changes regardless. I'd gained Gryph, and fell from grace. Exiled. It only took 101 years to regain my reputation and Captaincy. Better late than never.

You think too much, too. Do you know that?

Sometimes he was right. I'll give him the victory this time, knowing full well that denial would do me no justices. My brain always seemed to be in a state of cognition. Always pondering, always contemplating. The thought of my female friend would never be far away nor did I wish it to vanish. Holding fast to memories of days long dead can keep one grounded. In order to know where you're going, you must acknowledge where you've been. And she was part of where I'd been.

"I apologize, fellows. But I must depart for the night." And leave I did.

"It's borin' as hell taday, eh?

Shinji's less-than-casual speech is one of his trademarks. He's dropped by for an unexpected visit and made himself at home in my office. Can't say I'm completely against having company. Even if it was just the company of a very informal old friend. One that I'd never even begin to understand in ten lifetimes of pure study. What made his mind tick? Hell if I knew.

"Whaddaya say we take a little trip?"

Now this truly caught me off guard. I should have know there was an underlying reason for his incredibly random dropping by. Shinji may be weird, but he functioned with purpose. Getting dragged into this purpose was obviously where today was headed. Who was I to tell him no? He'd been free to 'visit' the Living World all he wanted within reason. We all were. But he was the only one ever to actually go down there and relive old times. Yamamoto Soutaicho played favorites with him. It was clear over 100 years ago and it was clear now.

"Are ya in or not? Kensei's too busy and I think it'd do ya good ta join me."

"Fine, I don't see the harm."

"Hehe, wise choice. We won't be stayin' long this time. Yama ain't too happy with me after last time."

"Yeah, you're...a real riot."

Oh yes, this would be a painfully long day.

How long had it been since I'd been among the living? How long had it been since my feet touched the pavement of the roads of Karakura Town? Not a soul could could see me and yet every last one of them, alive or dead, was within my visibility range. Every single human being and pet of this side of town was before my eyes. Well, not literally everyone, but as many as there were currently in my field of vision.

"Come on, don't jus' stand there like a gargoyle. Let's go."

"So impatient."

He leads the way and my legs carry me in the same direction as if I'd been down this path a million times. We resort to using the sidewalk as treading the line in the middle of the road was just a little odd, even for souls. Some humans were spiritually aware, after all. Like all the little children staring as we casually trekked past. Their innocence was a beautiful thing.

No longer was the old warehouse the base of operations for all those we'd left behind. They'd decided to move things to a pair of apartments not too far away from that Kurosaki kid's home. Wonder how he was fairing. He'd lost his powers in the war, which must have been hard on him. Abarai Fukutaicho certainly missed him. They must have been close.

Shinji had been given a master key so we would be able to get into the apartments with no trouble at all. There was a sense of anxiousness in the air as we closed in on the destination. The building loomed before me. It wasn't terribly huge and was in decent condition. The insides were probably no worse for the wear. Shinji was the only one who knew as he had been here quite a few times before. Kensei could have come but he always opted not to. Pity.

What are you talking about? You know you're glad he's never tagged along. Just freaking admit it. You still resent him after all this goddamn time.

Paying that absolutely no mind. We stood in front of one of the doors and Shinji already had the key, pulled from who knows where. The clicking of the lock and the creaking of the door echoed in my ears. Shinji sent a simple greeting loud enough for all inhabitants to hear then stepped inside as if he owned the place. But my legs would not forward as his did. This still felt foreign.

"Are ya comin' or not?"

Perhaps stalling for time would have been a good move. But instead, I followed like an obedient dog and closed the door behind me. Shinji went into another room and disappeared from view. His vanishing act left me alone to take in the new surroundings even though I still wasn't sure how to feel. Hopefully he'd return shortly and lift the awkward aura that clung to the air.

There was a loud crash and a string of foul curses coming from where Shinji had wandered. Obviously, he had found what he'd been looking for. Hiyori. And she was not pleased with him, just like practically every other time they were near each other. It would be fruitless to wonder just exactly how their rather odd relationship worked. It wasn't love, nor was it hate. Words hadn't been invented to describe what they had and that was probably for the best.

He reentered the living room with a few new bruises and obvious red marks where sandal had met cheek flesh. But his temperamental companion had not been with him. It also appeared that she was the only one home for the time being. Something about that put me at ease.

"C'mon, relax."

Once again, as if this was his own place, he took a spot on the couch and flipped the tv on with a press of a remote button. Something on Animal Planet now graced the screen and his eyes were fixed on the program like it was breaking news. I caught sight of a hyena running across the screen chasing after some wounded creature. Hyenas. Kind of like Shinji, if you really think about it.

It's like he's found his distant cousins. Aha.

There was the clicking sound of the door's lock and the distinctive opening creak akin to our entrance. My attention focused on the entrance and Shinji casually glanced that way. It seemed that the other occupant of this residence had returned after a venture to a place unknown. Now the anxiety was returning and it felt impossible to even eek out a verbal greeting. Blue-green eyes studied first Shinji's relaxed figure then my tensed up one. Obviously our presence here was a surprise.

"What are you two doing here? How long have you been here?"

"What, no hello? I'm hurt."

He was faking emotional damage just to be humorous. Typical Shinji, a great actor. Were he a human his true calling would probably be on stage. Performing for massive crowds in all sorts of dramatic plays. Despite his quick wit I had nothing to say in return, to either of them. Now there were two sets of eyes going my way and the discomfort level shot up a notch.

"Well?" he was pretty blunt.

"Shinji invited me to tag along and my workload for the day was minimal, so I joined him. Is there a problem?"

As hard as I tried not to have a rude tone, something told me offense was still taken. She is by no means a sensitive soul. Not by far. But maybe I was in the wrong by not at least extending a greeting after having been gone nearly a year and a half. To suddenly show up with a friend straight out of the blue wasn't exactly the most normal site, after all. We were always welcome to visit yet I felt it would usually be too difficult given the relationship we've had in the past.

"No problem at all."

She takes her gaze away and walks into the kitchen without another word. The chaste exchange of words between us was nothing short of unsettling. Maybe 16 months of being apart was bordering on neglect. Neglect of a kinship that had been built up over the course of centuries.

Oooh that's cold. Sucks to be you.

"You really shoulda been nicer, ya know that? That's no way to act around a lady."

Lady my ass. That girl is a killer.

Thank the gods Shinji wouldn't be able to hear Gryph's taunting comments. He was an uncensored creature and didn't give a damn if he offended someone, much less a friend of mine. And thank goodness the subject of the tormenting was unable to hear him. I do not need her to be any angrier with me for any valid reason. We were friends, not enemies. Building up a partnership for so long just to have everything crumble asunder in a matter of minutes was a daunting fear. Can't have that happen.

"You guys hungry at all?" she reappears on the border between this room and the next.

"I'll make a sandwich or somethin' in a bit. Gotta finish this show."

Sometimes this man had tendencies to act like he was younger than we all knew he was. The call of the hyena right now was bringing out one of those childish moments. Maybe it was a safe idea to at least try and relax. Sitting calmly beside him, I focused my attention on the tv as well. The watcher in what was similar to a doorway said nothing and retreated again.

You should go see what she's up to, man. It's better than watching stupid mongrels on a tv station made for PETA enthusiasts.

Shut the hell up. He won't say it so I will. Can you not just focus on your own existence for once?

"Just go. Don't worry, I ain't goin' anywhere. I'm not gonna leave without ya."

Sometimes it almost felt as if Shinji was able to read minds. He hadn't heard the inner arguments but he made it seem like he did. And really, maybe it would be better than watching animals in Africa fight over food. So I cautiously stood back up and stretched a bit. Shinji's eyes followed me to the room boundary then averted back to the television. Such a simple guilty pleasure, tv was.

Oh yeah, this oughta be good.

Light footsteps were not enough to mask my approach, not to a seasoned Shinigami. She knew I was there before I had time to decide on something to say. Those blue-green eyes were again focused in my direction, accompanied by a questioning expression. She'd obviously heard Shinji's words to me and probably didn't expect me to listen to him. I hadn't the heart to avert my eyes to meet hers and rather fixated on the space around me in which food was prepared. Everything was so simple but it obviously worked for the pair living here.

"Is something the matter?"

"No, not at all."

The clipped response I'd given probably sent the wrong message. But she didn't seem effected by it so dwelling on the matter would do neither of us any good. Truthfully a lot was the matter. Admitting to that, though, is better left unsaid. I've always looked the part of a confident individual who was able to quell any problems with very little effort. Cannot risk that image now of all times. Losing my shit in front of a good friend is not the definition of a sane act.

This is your chance. Put up or shut up.

She'd been simply reading over an article in the newspaper, which was a rarity. Usually her choice in literary materials carried at the very least an adult rating. Not that this was the only kind of thing she'd ever read, oh no. Most individuals that had ever known my friend assumed that porn was the only thing in her field of vision as far as literature was concerned. This was very much so an undeserved stereotype. Intelligent individuals such as this former Vice Captain needed a broader scope of things in order to keep themselves entertained. Stagnating by only picking up one category of reading material was counterproductive and led to horrendous boredom.

A rather suggestive magazine sat unattended on the counter top not too far away. It was very obviously new, possibly acquired on the trip she'd made just before we arrived. The newspaper by comparison looked like today's edition but was a bit worse for wear after having been skimmed through by Hiyori earlier in the day. There were a few small tears in the paper but every word was still legible. On the cover was an odd photograph of a large, dead bird. It looked menacing.

"What's that bird on the cover?"

"It's called a cryptid, I think. A thunderbird. No one's sure how it got here in Japan but it was found a week ago by hikers on a trail. If you ask me it seems more like a Hollow."

"A Hollow? But only spiritually aware individuals can see them. Let alone photograph one."

That's no cryptid. It's definitely something very unworldly, though.

Gryph shivered in some kind of anxious delight, feathers ruffling and eyes widening from his tree perch back in my soulscape. His voice was oozing tension and excitement. It was as if he had found a long last relative the same as Shinji had watching those tv hyenas. This concept was slightly disturbing as anything that could rile Gryph up so much was never positive. There was an unpleasant pale yellow glow coming from his Hollow eyes like something I'd almost never seen before, aside from the days I'd spent nearly a century ago trying to regain full control over my body and mind from him. Back to the days of early Visoredhood.

"It certainly doesn't look like any thunderbird I've seen in all the picture books. But I can't see any obvious signs pointing to it being a Hollow."

"Where did they send the corpse?"

"That part is unclear. There's a rumor going around that it vanished."

I told you, it's a HOLLOW. They evaporate upon death.

Gryph's defensive tone seemed more resolute than before. Again, I'm thankful no one can hear his words echoing. This whole issue was beginning to cause an air of uneasiness and stress. Better to try and forget about it before it gets any worse. But no, it's never quite that simple. Oh the agony of it all.

"It's caused a horrible stir in the news lately. Cryptozoologists are buzzing with questions and conspiracy theorists are very angry. They keep saying that government officials took the corpse and hid it so as not to send a wave of panic through the public. No proof of it being gone or taken exists. This photo and the witness testimonies are all anyone has to go on."

"What do you think about it all, dare I ask?" Hopefully I didn't sound rude with that remark.

"I don't know what to think. But I've seen and heard worse."

We live 'worse' every goddamn day! And it's my job to see to that, haha. Mission accomplished.

The avian menace was laughing in a throaty, maniacal way. He got horrible enjoyment out of watching me suffer and took pride in all the agony he caused. I could instantly tell when he shifted forms again, from simple bird to dangerous gryphon. His claws and talons dug into the wood of the tree branch, hanging on for dear life as every second brought him closer to an outburst. Kinshara could not climb, being a fennec, so she utilized the whip-like tail reminiscent of my shikai to try and reprimand him. But the shot was in vain as he caught it with both front feet and threw her with all his strength. She skidded across the dusty ground of the soulscape, dazed.

Who's in charge now! I'm not letting you win so easily!

It was war. Gryph dove from his branch and tackled the stunned fox before she could get back up. With one back leg, he stomped her tail down painful. It was enough to earn a loud yowl. With his other leg he held down both of her hind legs and wrapped both front feet around her neck. The tip of her tail was still free enough to move as she tried to whack the gryphon in the head with it. But he took one choking hand away and caught the flying object with ease, squeezing it. Once again she cried in pain.

I told you, I'm in charge!

He made quick work of his counterpart by tying her up with her own tail. Then, his whole body swiveled around and his head pivoted towards the sky. I could tell shit was about to get ugly. Now you'll see! Waves of hybridized reiatsu flowed from his being and seeped into my soul. This caused my physical form to shudder and shiver as the sane part of me fought the incoming surge. But Gryph had immobilized the best chance my soul had for fighting back and his power overcame mine just enough. Things blacked out for a split second.

"What's wrong?" My companion's expression became serious with the inquiry.

Gryph had gained just enough control to shift my eyes to those of a Shinigami wearing a Hollow mask yet the mask itself could not form. He'd supressed my individual just enough to get his own worded message across by projecting his speech through my mouth. It was difficult for me to move anything in resistance as he has more function over my limbs than I still had. This hadn't happened in I don't know how long. But I was powerless to halt what was going on at the moment.

"Listen here, my friend. This dumbass who shares my soul is such a bleeding heart when it comes to you. You've inflicted a life-long impression on him and I'm sick of all the inner angsting. Shinigami make me gag but Hollows of my breed cannot survive separated from them. So the best I can do is remedy the situation in which he's currently stuck in myself."

"Get to your point."

"My point is that I'm asking you to come back with us to the Soul Society and join the 3rd so all the doubt and downer attitude can be put to a stop. Come back and cease the internal moping. I can't take it anymore."

Shinji suddenly shouted something from the other room. "Why don't you two just get a room, fuck, and get it over with already!"

"That moron needs to stay out of business that isn't his."

Shinji may appear to be out of the loop in this situation but he was fully aware of what was happening. A lazy grin graced his expression before his attention diverted back to Animal Planet. "I'll have to speak with him later, I suppose." It was a mumbled sentence.

"Where was I? Oh yes, rejoin the Gotei 13. But not that horrible Squad 8. Come to the 3rd. You'll be appreciated there. I may not like you or your breed very much but I can't stand the pessimism any longer."

"I'll think about it. Now let go of him."

Kinshara had broken free at last, though still in pain. Her throbbing tail lashed out one more time at Gryph and hit its mark perfectly. The pressure of a limb slamming against his back toppled him over. Now he was the dazed one and the fennec was on top. She bit down on his scarred throat almost as hard as on the day she'd given him the scar. He changed back into a paradise crow in her grip and his control of my being waned into nothingness. The change in my eyes was evident, from the look on my companion's face. Gryph went back to his tree and Kinshara immediately began to metaphorically lick her wounds.

"Please, forgive me. I didn't mean any of that."

"Relax." The newspaper lay forgotten on the table. "I'll still consider the offer. Maybe you both should return home now before any questions arise."

"Yes, that might be a good idea."

Our departure was chaste and mostly formal. But the events of that incident are forever imprinted on my mind. And there was also the matter of awaiting the answer to the unintended proposal. Yes, therapy would probably do me a world of good.