Adam's Ex

By Livi

Summary: In college back in Boston Adam briefly married. Now years later, she shows up in Virginia City. Adam has his hands full. The ex-wife meets the family she never knew and isn't sure she wants to either. Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong... to her amazement.

Rated T for some violence and intimate allusions.

Characters: Adam, Hoss, Little Joe, and Ben Cartwright, Muley Jones, Sheriff Coffee, Clem Foster, Candy Canaday, Laura Dayton, Peggy

Category: Humor, Romance, AU a little, Mystery, Adventure

Related Episodes: The Pure Truth, Bank Run, The Pressure Game, Hound Dog, Knight Errant

Genre: Het

Pairings: Adam Cartwright and his ex-Wife, Joe Cartwright and Carrie McClain

Author's Note: On Bonanza World Forums, Repete asked for a story about Adam having married briefly during college back East and she shows up unexpectedly years later.

Disclaimer: Bonanza and its characters are the property of David Dortort and Paramount. No copywright infringement is intended. This story is for fun not profit. Original characters are the property of the author and may not be used without permission. No posting elsewhere without permission of the author.

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Chapter 1: Spring Fever

Normally in Spring a young man's thoughts turn to love. Not for Adam, he had a duty to perform, as the eldest brother. Hoss had Spring Fever... again. This year he had it bad. Besides falling asleep everywhere, he had cravings, too. Some years, Hoss would sleep and feel sluggish all day until it passed. Some years Hoss was a menace to himself and everyone around him. He would fall asleep and cause accidents and disasters. One year, Hoss fell asleep cooking at midnight for one of his cravings. The frying pan overturned starting a grease fire that burned down the kitchen. If Adam hadn't been up reading in bed, he never would have smelled the smoke in time to rescue Hoss from the blaze in the kitchen. No, in Spring, Adam's thoughts turned to Hoss, the family menace.

Today, Hoss was in town with Little Joe and Adam. Tall, dark, handsome Adam was the one with the college education, the one who could logically solve problems, the one with the calm exterior and brooding countenance. This year, Adam decided to do something about Hoss from the start of the bout of Spring Fever. Adam was there for a Cattlemen's Association meeting, sitting quietly listening to a dull speaker, when shouts and alarms came through the open windows. Screams punctuated the shouts with the clanging of a bell. Adam sighed; rubbing his hand over his face, knowing it had to be Hoss. He specifically told Joe, the youngest of the three brothers, to take Hoss to Sheriff Coffee and have him locked up as a public service for the duration. However, Joe, the family hearthrob with his curly brown hair and impish disposition, had a way of being diverted by every skirt in town. Knowing he had to go deal with it, Adam got up to excuse himself. Whatever it was, he hoped money could cure it. There could be more than property damage. Last year, Hoss broke Joe's leg by accident. This year, Adam was afraid something worse could have happened.

Hoss Cartwright was a mountain of a man. At 6'4" tall and 300 pounds, even a sleeping Hoss was formidable. Moon-faced, blue-eyed, and cheerful, Hoss could do some real damage not even intending it. His exaggerated attacks of Spring Fever occurred on schedule each year since he was a boy. Adam remembered every year's calamities as if they were yesterday. He had catalogued them for posterity since no one would ever believe it unless they saw it. This was only day three of the Fever. It could go on for weeks. Normally calm, Adam nervously reached for his black hat and yellow coat to go outside and face the mayhem wrought by his huge Swede of a brother. Outside, folks were running in one direction... away from the Jail. In the distance could be heard the distinctive pop pop pop rattatattat of bullets going off. Adam caught the arm of the next man to run past.

"Clem, aren't you supposed to run toward the shooting? You are the deputy," Adam said to the tall wild-eyed man.

"Not this time, Adam," Clem panted. "I don't know how he did it, but he did it."

"I'm going to hate myself for asking but who did what?"

"Hoss accidentally somehow put a box of cartridges in the jail fireplace."

Adam groaned, crossing his arms over his chest and rocking back on his heels. "I do hate myself. How?"

"The new shipment of cartridges came in wooden boxes. One stack was empty. The other was full. Hoss …"

"Put in the wrong stack to burn…" Adam clapped his hands to his face. "Did anyone get shot?"

"Not so far, but we won't know until the two thousand bullets finish bursting now will we?"

"Okay, where is he?"

"No one knows. Little Joe came in to ask us to lock up Hoss. He sat Hoss down in the chair by the fire where he dozed off. See, Sheriff Coffee didn't want to lock up Hoss for no reason. While he and Little Joe were palavering about it, Hoss must have thrown in the boxes from the firewood stack and figured the rest were for burning too. We think he went outside to use the Necessary. At least, that's the last place anyone said they saw him." In those times, the outhouse was termed the 'Necessary.'

"Okay, Clem, I got the idea. Send the bill to the Ponderosa. If anyone got hurt, we'll pay the doctor. When I find him, I'm locking him up in the root cellar."

"I don't care where you lock up Hoss this year so long as it isn't in Virginia City!"

Both men heard more bullets go off in another round of explosions. Someone came running to say the place caught fire, too. Oh this Spring Fever was one for the record books. Pa was going to explode like a barrel of gunpowder on the 4th of July when he got the bill for a whole new Jail. Adam went to the Virginia City Fire Brigade to start operating the water pumps. If they didn't deal with the fire, the whole town would burn. Mostly it was made of wood from the Cartwright sawmill, but that was beside the point. As of 1863, very few stone buildings existed. If they didn't work fast, Virginia City was about to go up in flames. A natural leader, Adam organized the bucket brigade to douse the buildings nearest the Jail before sparks could take hold. The fire bell was still clanging when the Stage arrived. Realizing that the passengers didn't know the danger, Adam rushed across the street to tell the driver to go farther to the hotel away from the Jail and why.

"Charlie, just do it. There's trouble down there. You can't stop. The Jail is on fire which is setting off their store of bullets."

"Thanks Adam," Charlie the Overland Stagecoach driver for the Placerville to Virginia City route knew everyone and they him. Before he could say 'giddyap', the door swung open, and a woman in a blue dress alighted and tripped, pitching headlong into Adam. He caught her by reflex.

"You can't stand here, ma'am. It's not safe."

"It never was standing next to you, Adam," the soft voice said with a hard edge.

"Anne?"

"So it would seem, Adam."

"I can't talk now. Go to the Hotel and wait. I'll find you there. Charlie, take her now!"

"You two know each other?"

Adam rolled his eyes. This day just got worse and worse.

"I should say so, Driver."

Adam took her by the hand and pulled her down the street toward the hotel. She tried to shake him off, but he just scooped her up and carried the woman a whole block before setting her down.

"Gaining weight there, Anne," Adam snarked. "Now be a good girl and wait in the hotel."

"Same old Adam, giving orders when a simple request would do."

She huffed off. Adam watched her go to be certain she went before returning to the fire brigade. Four hours later and two burned buildings plus one burned Necessary, Adam wiped his brow from the sweat and soot.

"I think that's it." Sheriff Coffee proclaimed. "Thank you all for your diligence." He turned to go and decided to speak to Adam instead. "Adam, I want a word with you." The two men walked off. Adam had that look of knowing what was coming and finding it all part of the absurdity that had become his life that day.

"Clem told me about Hoss. Send us the bill, Roy."

Roy Coffee was an older man who had seen it all and still had a cheerful friendly disposition as long as he didn't have to draw on you. He usually used his wits more than his gun being the sly old fox he was. Using his wits kept him alive long enough to come close to retirement. Coffee was also a friend of Ben Cartwright. Even so, something had to be done about a new Jail.

"Oh I will, never you fear. What I want to say is no one can find Hoss. It's like he just vanished off the face of the Earth. We looked hoping to track him down by the snores, but no one has seen him since the bullets started exploding. On one hand, that's good because we didn't find any blood. On the other we aren't sure he isn't shot and lying somewhere unconscious. I've got some men searching door to door. You got any idea where he could have wandered off to?"

"None, Roy," Adam said wiping his eyes on his sleeve. "He's barely been conscious for two days. We were hoping you would lock him up this year."

"Too late for that," Roy said with some pique. "I don't have a Jail any more. He's all yours." Roy jabbed Adam with his forefinger in the chest. "And I want him out of Virginia City until his bout with the Fever is over and all of you swear he's through it. And tell your Pa, this time I want a cast iron potbellied stove in the Jail not a fireplace."

"Yes Roy, I got the message." Adam walked off to find Joe and figure out which houses and businesses folks had searched. "Joe, find him yet?"

"No Adam and I'm worried. We covered most of town on that side but nothing. We are about to start this side." Joe had soot and ash all over his green jacket and bushy brown hair. Soot streaked Joe's face, too. "He was sitting right there in the chair by the fireplace. I turned my back on him for one minute, one minute!"

"I heard he was last seen going to the Necessary at the Jail. Did you look in there?"

"It burned down," Joe huffed. "I tell you next year we throw him in the root cellar and lose the key."

"Why wait for next year?" Adam huffed off to look at the remains of the Necessary for any clue or track the big feet of his brother may have left. Joe went with him. The water from the bucket brigade made a muddy mess everywhere around the charred ruins of the Jail. Finally, around the Necessary they found one big boot print that could only have been from Hoss.

"Okay, so we know he came out this way." Joe wiped his eyes, streaming with irritation from the smoke. "I'll track this way. You go that way." The brothers split up trying to pick up another set of boot prints. They circled, doubled back, widened the search and found nothing. "It's like the ground opened up and swallowed him."

Adam's face registered shock. Joe understood in a flash. Frantically, they pulled boards away from what remained of the burned outhouse. Uncovering the hole, both men waved the odors from their noses. Peering down in there, they heard him before they saw him or … smelled him. Hoss was asleep in the pit of the Necessary.

"He must have taken cover when the bullets started flying," Joe said in disgust. Adam clapped him on the shoulder.

"Since YOU were supposed to lock him up, you get him out of there and make him take a bath before we ride home."

Now he had to go to the hotel to deal with his ex-wife. Somehow, Adam knew it was a side effect of Hoss' Spring Fever that she showed up after ten years. Adam stood up and walked off holding both arms out and bending backwards to shout at the sky.

"WHY ME?!"

Pausing on C Street, Adam dipped his kerchief into the stream of water coming from the pump at the firehouse. Virginia City did not have fire trucks. It had several pumps that could be manned with lots of buckets. Covered in soot and ash, Adam washed his face, neck, and hands. Giving up, he stuck his whole head under the cold flow to wash the grime out of his hair. More fastidious than most folks on the frontier, Adam normally wore a clean shirt most days. Now, this one smelled of smoke. Actually, it reeked from the fire that burned down the Jail and its outhouse. It was torn, too. Adam could not stand it. He marched down the street to the Emporium to buy some clean clothes. He had a date with fate and he was not going looking like that … or smelling like it, either. He also was not in any hurry to go.

In the Emporium, he bought a shirt a little too big and a pair of pants that needed the cuffs adjusted, figuring that could wait. At least he was clean. The sales clerk put his old clothes in a brown paper wrapper. Adam told him to toss them. That smoke would never come out. Too bad, thought Adam, it had been a nice shirt. At least his coat and hat were still at the Cattleman's Association. Once Adam learned of the fire, he dumped his outerwear in the lobby and took off for the bucket brigade. Strolling down the C Street boardwalk, he made his way to the Association building to retrieve his goods.

"Oh there you are, Adam," Walter Prescott called out.

Walt Prescott was a little older than Adam and the owner of a fine large spread just outside of town. Not as wealthy as the Cartwrights, Walt was a force in the area in his own right. Walt had a running grudge against Hoss after the incident with Walt's mail order bride. When Walt broke his leg just before he had to fetch her, he asked Hoss to go get her for him. Hoss obliged as the friendly man he was. Unfortunately, the silly woman fell in love with Hoss while on the trail back. The upshot was the woman refused Walt. Prescott decided Hoss had two-timed him on the way back. Furious and feeling like a cuckold, Walt put a $3000 bounty on Hoss' head. That much money was at least ten years income to most folks. Sure, a couple of bushwhackers tried to cash in. At the last possible second, Walt shot them himself. Since then, the Cartwrights and he had an uneasy truce. Today, Walt wanted to rub their noses in the disaster.

"Walt, I'm in a hurry. Can it wait?"

"As you know I'm President of the City Council, Adam. We are missing one Jail." Adam winced. Walt smirked with pleasure at the reaction. "You see a few of us want to know what you Cartwrights are going to do about the situation."

"We'll build another one," Adam put on his coat and hat. "Don't worry."

"Oh yes you will, but that's not my immediate concern. What are the fine upstanding NORMAL citizens of Virginia City supposed to do until that happens? We need a jail. As it is our job to look out for the citizens of Virginia City, the Council took a vote. It was unanimous. We decided the Cartwrights should use the Ponderosa to confine any wayward soul who needs some time to wait for a trial or a good hanging. Then there is the matter of the drunk tank for Saturday nights. We usually fill up with ten or twenty men needing to sleep it off before the Sheriff will let them loose. He also collects a fair amount of revenue for the town with all the fines. Seeing as Hoss Cartwright caused this disaster, the City Council has deputized the Cartwrights until a new city jail is erected."

To Adam's horror, Prescott pinned a tin star on his jacket and stuffed three more in the pocket. "But, but, you can't be serious!"

"See your father and brothers get theirs. We are holding you personally responsible."

Walt snorted and shuffled out to return to the Bucket of Blood saloon and report to the impromptu Council meeting. As far as he was concerned, the matter was resolved for the near term. It pleased him no end.

Adam stood for a few moments trying to decide what to do first. He could go deal with a certain lady now at the International Hotel or go find Joe and give him the badges. He opted for finding Joe at the bathhouse. Adam had a feeling he would need some extra time in town that evening. Besides, Joe could tell Pa and save Adam the tongue lashing and hollering. In fact, Adam decided he needed a bath, too. It would not do to meet a lady without a bath, now would it? Procrastinating, Adam luxuriated in the hot soapy water. He gave the matter his logic and fine analytical skills for another hour. As Adam saw it, they were not married anymore so he did not have to deal with her. End of story, right? Adam sighed heavily. What a wonderful daydream it would be to walk right up to her and inform her he was in no way obligated to suffer the slings and arrows of her outrageous fortune. Quoting from Hamlet's famous soliloquy, Adam's deep baritone voice rendered the bard's words for his brothers in the tubs next to him.

To be or not to be, that is the question;
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing, end them…

"What the heck does that mean?" Joe asked soaping up. "And why are you going off on that now?"

"Ah Little Brother, there is much wisdom from the Bard. 'And by opposing, end them…' I think there is reason to that sentiment.'

"Are you saying we should oppose the City Council?"

"Oh, I wasn't thinking of that. You'll figure something out."

"ME! Now hold on a goldarn minute. I did not start this mess. HE," Joe chucked a thumb over to Hoss, "should do the explaining."

"Yeah, that's who you want Pa to hear it from?"

"No I want you to tell him." Joe gave his puppy dog eyes, imploring Adam to pick up the gauntlet. Snores alarmed them as they realized Hoss was slowly sinking beneath the suds. "Should we let him sink?"

"No," Adam stood up to deal with a comatose Hoss. It took both of them to haul Hoss out of the tub, where he promptly pitched over on the wet wooden boards and slept naked and happy.

"For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th'unworthy takes…"

Adam pondered the idea of what the law could do for him to delay the inevitable. Hadn't enough time passed for this whole matter to be put to rest? They had been divorced for ten whole years. Hoss' snores resonated in the bathhous. Joe shook his head.

"How am I supposed to get him home like that?"

"I don't know. Maybe next time you'll lock him up first and argue about it later." Adam buttoned his new shirt thinking on his more pressing problem. Hoss would survive, although lying naked like that he could catch a cold. The thought of Hoss having a cold and Spring Fever was too much. Adam and Joe sat Hoss up long enough to dry him off.

"He can't wear those clothes home," Joe complained. "I sent them to the laundry but they won't be dry for a long time."

"Yes, that is a problem." Adam thought about it while putting Hoss' big feet back in his boots. He had been dressing Hoss since he was a baby. In some ways, the bear of a man was still a child, simple to the ways of the world.

"I know," Joe exclaimed. "We could borrow some sheets and blankets from the hotel and wrap him up. I can ride it all back in tomorrow."

"The hotel?"

"Sure, the hotel has to have extras."

"The hotel."

"Yes, that's what I said, the hotel." Joe looked quizzically at Adam frowning. "They won't refuse you; besides, someone has to watch over Hoss until we get him covered and on the buckboard."

"I'll watch him. You go to the hotel. You can talk a snake out of his scales."

"Aw no, I had to pull him out of the Necessary's pit. That's enough punishment for one man to take. C'mon Big Brother, you know you have to be the one. If I ask, they'll say no."

"You have a self-confidence problem, you know that?" Adam shook his head thinking the day just got better and better.

"Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action."

"All right, to be… and therefore to suffer the slings and arrows," Adam threw another towel on Hoss and placed one under his big head. Hoss did not miss a beat in his sleep of the just. He snored rhythmically with a smile plastered on his face.

On the way over to the Hotel to get sheets and probably meet his ex-wife, Adam passed by the Bucket of Blood saloon. A raucous fistfight blew out the doors. Two men then another two came tumbling out to settle their dispute with fisticuffs. More men poured out of the double swinging doors to watch. Street brawls constituted a major form of entertainment in the frontier town. So did tearing up saloons. Dave, the bartender, came barreling out shaking his fist. He went up to the second pair and hauled them apart by the scruffs of their necks. Dave was not quite as big as Hoss but he was big enough. Well he was tough enough most of the time. One of the pair pulled a knife and managed to stab Dave right in front of Adam, the new Virginia City Deputy Sheriff. He pulled out his pistol and fired it up in the air to get attention. The first pair didn't care enough to stop. The second did and ran off.

"Drop it or I'll shoot," Adam hollered. "I'm not kidding. You are under arrest for attempted murder."

The man with the knife pulled it out of Dave long enough to throw it at Adam. It was too slippery so it went wild embedding in the wooden pillar holding up the awning over the boardwalk. Too bad, Adam shot him winging the man in his throwing arm. People were shouting for the doctor.

"You with him," Adam boomed. "You're under arrest too for …aiding and abetting."

"Aw shucks, it was an honest fight," complained the second man. "He cheated me out of my poker winnings."

"Tell it to the judge," Adam growled.

Someone examining Dave told Adam Dave would make it. The knife went into the fleshy part of his side.

"They tore up the bar," Dave lamented. "I just got done fixing it up from the last time."

"We'll add that to the charges," Adam said calmly. Deputy Clem Foster showed up at that point to see the calamity. "Got handcuffs, Clem?"

"Sure, sure we do, Adam. We keep them in the Jail. Oh wait! We don't have a Jail anymore." He pushed his hat back to scratch his head. Clem was nice enough but not the sharpest stylus in the box. "Someone get some rope." A couple of men moved to acquire rope. Adam covered Clem while they trussed up the two criminals. "So where are we going to put them?"

"You are going to put them at the Ponderosa," Walt Prescott told them in no uncertain terms as he exited the bar with the rest of the City Council members who were still there. "I believe the circuit judge will be here in two weeks." Walt guffawed, looking straight at Adam. "Isn't that right, Cartwright?"

"Dave, don't you have a cellar or something under the bar?"

"I do but it's full up, Adam. You aren't moving my supplies out either. I just got done putting them all down there because of Hoss. He tore up the bar something awful last year when he had the Fever."

The crowd melted away not wanting to be accosted for room in their establishments. Walt stood there glowering at Adam. "Well Cartwright? You going to stand there all day or haul these men off to your ranch?"

"There has to be a better solution." Adam looked up and down C Street guessing which building might be a good candidate. The problem was that the ground was too hard to dig much of a basement for any of the buildings. All the other buildings were crammed with occupants who practically stacked up over one another. There was a serious lack of housing with the Comstock Silver boom drawing thousands of people into the area every month. He sighed heavily. "Okay, we can take them in the buckboard. Joe is taking Hoss back to the ranch. In the meantime Clem, let's hitch them up to the post here until I can arrange this."

Afterwards, Adam went back to find Joe and tell him there would be two scoundrels that needed a ride.

"Oh NO, NO, NO, Adam, I can't drag Hoss back in a sheet and tell Pa what happened…AND bring prisoners too! You got to think of something Big Brother. Pa will tan my hide."

Adam sighed heavily. There was no way to ease Pa into it now. At 33 yrs old, Adam still had the initial gut reaction to Pa's wrath that he did as a young boy. Of course, he reminded himself that was simply ridiculous. The bigger problem was Hoss. He had no clothes. The Emporium carried nothing even remotely close to Hoss' substantial size and girth. Adam chuckled.

"What's so funny? You think going back with a nekkid Hoss and two prisoners is FUNNY?"

"Actually, I do, Little Brother."

Adam smirked with his never-ending sense of the absurd. Where his brothers were concerned, it was always something…a huge buck nekkid Hoss hauled home was very funny. Joe driving home a huge buck nekkid Hoss comatose in a wagon with two prisoners added to the wonder of his day. But Joe driving Adam, a huge buck nekkid Hoss comatose in a wagon with two prisoners and Adam's ex-wife from Boston made his sides split. It would serve the woman right to have to witness all that. Heck with the sheet… no he had to get the sheet. Hoss was still lying on wet boards in the bathhouse, snoring. If they didn't get him wrapped up soon, he'd catch cold. Adam sighed and pirouetted out the door clapping his hands to his face and wondering how it all happened to him.

Rather than go straight to the Hotel and run into his ex-wife, Adam went door to door to ask for sheets and blankets. It was unlikely there were any extra with the folks who were pouring into the mining boomtown. He tried the leading citizens first. However, most of them were at the Opera House for a performance. Virginia City built Piper's Opera House, which opened in 1863 and still stands today. He went to the ticket counter to ask to speak to the manager.

"Ah Mr. Cartwright, I'm sorry but the performance is sold out."

"I was here on another matter. I need to borrow a costume big enough to fit my brother, Hoss."

The look of horror on the man's face said it all. He waved his hands in front of himself and backed away. "No, no, no, we have a strict policy of never loaning out the costumes."

"What about curtains?"

"No, if it were anyone else, you understand. It takes six months to get new costumes from back East. There isn't even any suitable material here anymore. The miners buy up everything as fast as it arrives. I'm sorry, Mr. Cartwright." He fled back into the theater.

Adam knew there was a real problem now. If he couldn't get some sort of material, Hoss would have to wear wet clothes to get out of town. Temperatures were dropping. That was no solution. In desperation, Adam went to the General Store to see if anything was available. He was ready to buy a tent to use on his brother. Unfortunately, nothing in fabric or skins was available. Miners had arrived the day before and bought it all.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cartwright. The passes only opened this week. We had late snows this year. As a result, our first shipment came only last week. Demand was so high after a winter with next to nothing up here that we sold out in a matter of minutes. I'm waiting for the next hundred-mule train to make it over the pass from Sacramento. They are supposed to resume scheduled shipments now. We might have something in another two days."

"Thanks, do you think your wife could spare…"

"I'm sorry Mr. Cartwright, we sold all our spares. We have only what covers our beds. It gets cold at night."

"Right, sorry to trouble you."

There was nothing for it. He had to try the hotel. To avoid his ex-wife, Adam snuck around back to go in through the servants' entrance through the kitchen to the manager's office. Adam told himself that it wasn't cowardice. It was tactical maneuvering. His face fell when the manager and the head housekeeper informed him that it was laundry day at the Hotel. The laundry was still drying. No sheets were available. They only had enough blankets for the clients since the old ones had fleas from the great unwashed, known as miners, who passed through the last week. They paid triple the rate to sleep there since their pockets were full of silver. It was a bad bargain. As a result, the hotel had to burn all of those blankets and mattresses. New straw mattresses were all they had until a new shipment from Sacramento would arrive in two more days. Adam's day wasn't getting any better.

"Tablecloths! You have tablecloths. I'll buy some."

"Sorry Mr. Cartwright, but those linens came special from New York. We are not using them as a blanket for Hoss, especially not when he has the Fever."

"What if I promise to replace them if anything happens?"

"No sir, we know something will happen since Hoss has the Fever. It will take six months by ship to get new ones. I'm sorry."

"But…"

"That's final, Mr. Cartwright."

"I was afraid you'd say that."

It was getting dark and cold in the spring evening so high in the mountains. Virginia City sat at over six thousand feet in elevation. It was on a barren hillside with no trees to act as a windbreak either. The wind was picking up too. Of course it was.

"Can I check Hoss into the Hotel for the night. If he's a customer, he can use the sheets right?"

"We are full up, Mr. Cartwright."

"Of course you are."

Adam slunk out the back again. He had no choice. They had to go home. If they delayed any longer, it would be too frigid for a buck nekkid Hoss even riding in the back of the buckboard with two scoundrels for warmth. Besides, the whole town would never let them live it down. Whatever Anne wanted, it would have to wait. Hoss was the priority tonight. Back on C Street, Adam surveyed the sorry scene. At the end of the block were the charred remains of the Jail and its Necessary. Across the street were two gomers trussed up like Thanksgiving turkeys. Up the street was the bathhouse with a buck nekkid Hoss about to catch his death of cold. Across from the General Store, Adam spied the livery stable. Things were looking up. Adam Cartwright, Deputy Sheriff of Virginia City, ambled over to the two trussed up no good brawlers to have a little conversation.

"How long you gonna leave us like this, Deputy?" The man who didn't knife Dave whined. I need the Necessary."

"Well now, I'm sure you considered that problem when you tore up the saloon, here." Adam sighed, pushing up his black hat to review the situation. "Did you happen to ride into town or drop from the sky?"

"Huh?"

"Where's your horse?"

"In the livery stable," Whiner whined. "I need it bad, Deputy."

"Got any money?"

"You gonna charge me for that?"

"No, I want to pay your stable bill."

"Oh, yeah, I got two dollars in my pocket."

"You have a bedroll on that saddle?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I need it. Okay, you get a hall pass to the necessary. C'mon."

Adam helped Whiner up and led him off to the smelly necessary behind the saloon. Once that unpleasant task was over, Adam led the man over to the barn to retrieve his horse and tack. He paid the stable hand and put the things together. Leading the man and the horse out to the buckboard, Adam sighed. Some days were not worth getting out of bed. At the buckboard, he helped the man into the back and tied him and the horse to it. He walked the bedroll over to Joe at the bathhouse.

"What's this?"

"Best I could do. I think I can get another but wrap him up first in this." He tossed it to Joe. "And don't get it wet." Both of them shook Hoss semi-awake enough to help them stand him up.

"I'm hungry, Adam. Ain't it time for dinner, yet?"

He sniffed the air getting scents of suppers cooking all over town. It was a fact that Hoss could smell Hop Sing's cooking a half mile away. One time, rustlers pinned them down behind some rocks, shooting at them for hours. In the shootout, Hoss missed dinner. He got so hungry he swore not only did he smell dinner but named each item. He was correct, as it turned out.

"When we gonna eat?"

"When we get home," Adam said tersely. This would be a problem of gargantuan proportions in another few minutes. A hungry Hoss does not see reason.

"But Adam, I cain't wait that long. I'm so hungry I could eat fried bear fat."

Joe grimaced at the thought of that particularly unsavory sustenance. "Now Hoss, just think of Hop Sing's supper he has waiting. Why I think he said something about fried pork chops, your favorite for tonight."

Adam gave him a withering look. That was exactly the tactic he didn't want to take. Uh oh, Hoss' eyes flew open—wide. "Now we have to get you to the buckboard so we don't keep Hop Sing waiting."

"Cain't we git something afore we leave? I am starving to death!"

"How is that possible?" Adam hustled the beefy Hoss out of the building. "You have plenty of reserves."

"Preserves? I like strawberry and peach, but I don't like elderberry so much. Where we gonna eat, Adam?"

"I told you, at home."

"But I got to have something before that, it's an hour home."

"You'll live."

"Adam, I got cravings bad. It's the Fever." Hoss sniffed the air. "Ain't Miss Sally cooking some greens and …sniff sniff…beef stew? Oh she makes great beef stew. And her peach cobbler," Hoss rolled his eyes to heaven. "It tastes just like summertime. Sometimes she puts cream all over it too." He licked his lips facing towards Sally's Café.

"Hoss, you aren't dressed for it," Joe cajoled him. "Just think of the lemon pie Hop Sing has at home for you."

Hoss' eyes went wide into ecstasy thinking about lemon pie, fried pork chops, greens, and cream on peach cobbler. He broke free and went lumbering off toward the café. Adam and Joe tried to get in his way to stop him. The rope holding together the bedroll was coming undone. Single-minded, Hoss barreled along.

"Hoss, you can't go in there looking like that," Joe patted Hoss' face to get his attention.

"Then I'll go to the back door, Joe. You'll see. Miss Sally likes me a fair bit." With that, it was impossible to change his mind. Adam shrugged and tossed Joe a silver dollar to deal with it, while Adam went back to the desperado still tied up outside the saloon.

"You got a horse in the stable or somewhere?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Well, if you don't you can walk the six miles to the Ponderosa over the grade out of town. Besides, there's no reason for the town to pay for stabling your horse when we have a corral at the ranch."

"That's mighty decent of you, friend." The man sneered. "I suppose I'll owe you for stabling my horse."

"It's a thought, but no. If you don't, they'll auction the horse off by the time your trial comes, goes, and you are sent off to prison. If it's decent, we might consider buying it from you. Or you can sell it to your partner."

"What partner? Him? Oh no, we just met at the poker game."

"Suit yourself. Get up," Adam hauled him up. "It's a long walk."

"Okay, yeah, he's tied up over there by the telegraph office."

"Show me." They strode over to a big bay gelding that also had a bedroll on it. "Well you got lucky today," Adam said.

Leading off the horse and the man, Adam hailed Joe who came towards them leading a happily munching Hoss who carried a tin pail full of stew. He had the first man's bedroll secured around his chest. Oblivious to his surroundings, Hoss ambled along under the bedroll, which flopped as he walked in his boots across the street, stopping every so often to dig out a tender morsel. With Joe urging him forward, Hoss and his brothers converged on the buckboard to start the trip home. Hoss stopped again in the middle of the street to catch the last chunk that eluded his spoon.

"C'mon Hoss, stop dawdling. You can finish that on the way home," Adam called out irritated beyond measure. "Joe, will you get our brother to hurry up? You can round up steers better than that."

"Oh how the mighty have fallen."

A woman's voice said it with disdain from the boardwalk next to the buckboard. Adam knew that voice. Of course, she would have to show up at this particular moment. After he had secured the second man to the buckboard, he turned casually to smirk at her. There she was, immaculately groomed in a blue dress with upswept brown hair and a patrician face that left her opinion on her pretty face. She eyed his tin star, then let her gaze drift to Hoss still munching stew with only a bedroll tied around his girth. She cocked an eyebrow and let her attention turn to the two men trussed up in the buckboard. Then she looked at Little Joe with an arm full of wet clothing, tugging at Hoss to get him to move out of the street. A small upturn to the side of her lovely rosebud lips accompanied her survey of Adam's oversized mismatched emergency clothing with the unhemmed pant legs. The normally dapper Adam was a mess. She snorted and let the thought hang.

Adam folded his arms across his chest, leaning back against the buckboard. With a puckish smile, he considered her standing there so lovely and judgmental before him. It was not how he wanted to meet her. But then nothing was working out today. Just as boldly, Adam raked her with his eyes. She hadn't aged much. The years had been kind. Well, they had married young after all. He glanced to her hands, but she was wearing gloves. A woman like that would have remarried. However, she was traveling alone.

"Let's have it."

"Have what?"

"Fine, I'll be back in two days."

"I'll be at the hotel, registered as Mrs. Adam Cartwright."

"You are no longer Mrs. Adam Cartwright."

"Oh but I am. The lawyers made a mistake." She turned and walked away in no hurry at all. Her fur trimmed cape matched her fur trimmed hat and muff. She was comfortable in the dropping temperatures.

"Who is that?" Joe asked after guiding Hoss into the wagon.

"That is Anne."

"Anne."

"My ex… er…my wife?" Adam said appraising her as she sauntered away.

"That's Anne!" Joe was worried. It was not like Adam to be so unconcerned about something so important. "You didn't invite her to stay at the house?"

"No." Adam unfolded his arms and launched off the side of the buckboard. "Let's get these men home."

"But Adam," Joe confronted him, grabbing his shoulders. "You've got to do something."

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."

"Did you know she was coming?"

"No, she didn't see fit to inform me. So I don't see how it is my problem."

"Adam, you can't mean it. It will get all over town!"

"What's done is done." He climbed into the passenger side of the rig. "Drive us home, Joe."

"Uh, Adam, she could say anything."

"I am a man more sinned against than sinning." Adam quoted the Bard.

"Aw come on Adam, cut it out. She's going to tell everyone. This is the worst thing that could happen!"

"The worst is not, so long as we can say 'This is the worst'." Adam quoted Shakespeare again in a deep rumbling baritone.

"Pa's going to love this," Joe grumbled.

"Now that's the worst!"

While rethinking the problem, Adam watched the disappearing figure of his ex-wife or maybe his current wife, he wasn't sure, window shopping slowly back to the hotel. Standing in the late afternoon twilight, he had a decision to make out there on the C Street boardwalk. Should he go home with the prisoners and deal with her later? After all, the hotel was full up. Or, should he claim the woman and drag her off to the ranch like a caveman, by the hair. The hair option had a certain satisfaction for him. Since she had already registered at the hotel as his wife, the news was already making the rounds. In tomorrow's edition of the local newspaper, The Territorial Enterprise would be the story of the fire and certainly a comment about Adam's new appointment as Deputy Sheriff. Of course, they would also mention that his WIFE showed up unexpectedly as well. Like the Immortal Bard said, 'what's done is done.' The bigger question was why didn't she keep it a secret and use it against him? She seemed to WANT everyone to know she was there and married to her long lost husband. In Victorian times, divorce was a shameful situation for both parties. Rarely did anyone divorce to the point people hid the fact if they could. Some simply separated and moved away from each other. Adam had a huge problem in that no one in Virginia City knew he was divorced, let alone ever married.

"I'm done," Hoss announced. "I'll just return the pail to Miss Sally's. He climbed down off the wagon to trundle off to the café. Joe leapt down and hustled after him.

"Hoss, Hoss, you go sit in the wagon. I'll go return the pail."

"Thanks, Little Brother," Hoss said satisfied. "Only, I was hoping for a slice of her apple pie. She'd give it me if I was standing there."

"I'll get the pie," Joe promised. "I'll get you the whole pie. Just go sit down in the wagon." He pushed his oversized brother who stood like a statue in the middle of the street again. "Aw c'mon, Hoss, just this once do as I ask?"

"I always do as you ask. Then, I get into lots of trouble."

"What are you talking about?"

"Every dad burn time you want me to do somepin', Pa has to punish us. I remember that bank you made me rob. You had me crossing half the country like some bandit to cash them bonds in Placerville. Then we got robbed ourselves of the money. Then we had to tell Pa we got robbed. Then he made us turn ourselves in but the robbers had our horses. So you made me walk and steal mules. I still got lumps where that wiry little feller beat me upside the head. Then we had to kill them varmints what stole the money from us. I don't care what you told Pa how you pushed them in the river. They is dead. Now I done robbed a bank, stole mules, and killed two thieving bankers all on account of your say so." Hoss pushed Joe out of the way, stomping off for pie. "I ain't listening no more."

"But Hoss, Hoss, what about all the times you did listen to me and it turned out great?"

"Ain't recalling none of them times. That's a fact."

"Hoss, you won $500 in that flapjack eating contest. You got $500 whole dollars just because of my brilliant idea."

"Uh huh, and you kept me hungry for a WEEK to do it!" Hoss moved Joe aside bodily again. "And if'n I'd lost you made it so I would have owed $2500 not you."

"Hoss, Hoss, there is NO WAY you could have lost a flapjack eating contest. I mean come on, admit it. You LOVE flapjacks. You can out eat any man in the Territory. It was no contest."

"Uh huh, well that little feller nearly et as much as me. If'n I hadn't offered him my vinegar, he'd have won. As it was he threw up disqualified hisself. You weren't around. I had to think of it myself."

"I thought you said you were helping him…" Joe had a look of pure surprise. "You did that on purpose?"

"What you take me fer, Joe? I knowed you always thought of me as a fool. Git outta my way." He shoved Joe to the side. "I want pie."

"I never… oh no Hoss, I never once thought of you as a fool." Joe tried to push Hoss away from the front of the Café. "At least go to the back again," he pleaded with his sincere wounded eyes looking so pathetic up at Hoss. Hoss grunted and lumbered off to the back door. "It was for your own GOOD! Hoss, you needed to take off a few pounds. I was doing you a favor, giving you a goal."

"Huh." Hoss knocked on the door. "Miss Sally, ma'am, I done finished that good stew of yourn. Ma'am it is a fact you are the best cook in town but don't tell Hop Sing I said so. Ma'am, I was wondering…."

"Of course you can Hoss," Miss Sally batted her eyes at him. She was a little rotund herself and fancied Hoss. He knew it. As long as she fed him, he was content to pay a call on her now and then. She cut him a slice of pie and handed it to him. "You know, Hoss, there's a dance Saturday night. I got a new dress."

"Uh huh, this is some kind of wonderful, ma'am. Thank you ever so kindly." He ignored the hint. Motioning to Joe to pay up, he nodded his thanks and trundled off. She stared after him longingly until she saw Joe watching.

"Haven't you something better to do than stand around my kitchen, Little Joe? Your brother had a hard day. Go help that darling man. Go on with you," she shooed him out. "Give my regards to your Pa."

"Right, Pa."

Joe quickly shut the door and ran after Hoss, munching on a big slice of pie. Back at the buckboard, Adam was nowhere to be seen. Joe shrugged and made Hoss get in. Hoss fussed until Joe threw the other bedroll over him for warmth. It was then Hoss started rocking the wagon.

"Dad burn it, I got the crawlies." Hoss threw off the bedrolls scratching and twisting, "Goldurn crawly skins, Gaaa!"

Frantically, He twisted and scratched. The buckboard couldn't take it when Hoss suddenly stood up and reached way back on his back losing his balance. The whole buckboard tipped over, breaking into splinters as Hoss rolled on the ground trying to scratch. Not even caring about the loss of the bedroll and his exposure, Hoss climbed into the frigid water in the horse trough and submerged. He dunked and dunked himself until he was sure he had drowned the fleas. Only then, he had a bigger problem. He was buck nekkid again.

"What is wrong with you people," the Whining prisoner demanded? He managed to right himself to sit up against the boardwalk. He had landed in a pile of horse droppings in the street. Joe was starting to scratch as well. The other man was out cold.

"Nits," Hoss bellowed. "You got nits!" He held up a drowned louse. "You got fleas too."

"I ain't got no nits! I ain't scratching. Go figure."

All three looked at Mr. Knife and understood. Hoss wasn't scratching until Joe threw the other blanket on him. Joe suddenly took off his green jacket and threw it on the ground. Reaching back to scratch like a dog with fleas, Joe hopped around in the street with the same problem as Hoss. Meanwhile, Adam found Anne on the street closer to the hotel. Joe was right. He had to do something.

"Hold up there, Anne," Adam called out before he caught her arm. She shook him off. "Okay," he held up both hands. "Now what's this all about?"

"I told you. Or have you gotten so old you lost your hearing?"

"How did the lawyers make a mistake?"

"I don't understand it myself. So I brought all the papers to let you look through it."

"And you just found out about it now after ten years?"

"Oh I found out about it last summer. But I'm not going to discuss it out on the street."

"Yes, you are right about that. Look, I'm sorry I was so rude to you. It's been a bad day." Adam threw her his charming smile. She gave him a cutting glance. "Seeing as how you came all this way to deal with it, come stay with us at the ranch until we can figure out what to do."

"I don't know, Adam." She regarded him coolly, looking askance at his attire. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea. You probably don't have enough room." She said it shaking her head at his appearance. "And I am certainly not sharing a room with you."

Adam sighed. "Anne, a lot of unusual things happened today. I don't normally dress like this. I wanted to clean up for you after the fire. My mistake, I should have come to you right away." She wasn't buying it. "Anne, we have plenty of room at the ranch. You'll get your own room." She gave him a look that showed she didn't believe him.

"Adam, it's all right. I understand your family is not doing very well. If you had to become a deputy to keep your brothers fed and clothed, well that's what you had to do. You don't have to convince me everything is fine."

"Everything is fine. Trust me, you'll be well cared for at the ranch." Anne snorted in disdain, thinking he was putting up a front because he was ashamed. "We have a large house with a cook and his helpers. You won't have to worry about anything."

"And you expect me to believe it after that little performance in the street?"

"It's not what it looks like. See the jail burned down because Hoss accidentally threw a box of cartridges in the fire thinking the box was firewood…."

"Adam, I know the Jail burned down. Everyone can smell it. They are all talking about how your brother did it. Honestly, Adam, just stop pretending. We'll deal with all of this the way things are."

"I am NOT pretending, Anne. For your information…" he stopped realizing if she knew about the fire being caused by Hoss, she probably had heard plenty more.

"Poor Adam, after ten years this is the best you could do out here?" She mocked him. "You had such promise." She shook her head. "You could have been a prominent architect in Boston. My family would have seen to it."

"Speaking of your family, how come you are all the way out here by yourself?"

"I grew up, Adam, or didn't you notice?"

"Yes, you have and it suits you." He smiled, trying to get things back on track. "So you just decided to come out here and look me up? Why didn't you send a telegram?"

"I did and sent a letter, too, but I'm guessing now that you never got it. They say that the Indians sometimes way lay the stagecoaches and throw the mail all over the prairies."

"Yes, that is true," he admitted. "I never got a telegram."

"Adam, there's a war on. Plenty of times, the rebels have cut the wires out in Kansas and Missouri. I don't know what happened to the telegrams. So, I decided to deal with this in person. These documents are too important to lose."

Adam sighed. She was trying to do the right thing. Actually, he admired her for it having been so afraid to come home with him from Boston. She could have hired someone to do it for her, but she was making sure herself. She was so unlike the young girl he left behind in Boston a decade ago. Anne refused to go West with him afraid of the unknown. As a result, he tried to complete his apprenticeship with a well-known architect but was miserable in the confines of a big city. He was homesick, too. If he wanted to be honest with himself, all of this was his fault not hers. He tried it there and couldn't stand it. After four years in college and two at work, he told her they were moving to the Ponderosa. She filed for divorce. He was 23 and she was 20 years old. Now they were both in their thirties standing in Virginia City after all, and apparently still married.

"I'm sorry, Anne. Really, I mean that. Come home with me. We are doing fine. Today, well, today is a mess. Honest, we'll take good care of you. Pa would have a fit if I didn't bring you home. He always wanted to meet you."

"Adam, I'd like to believe that. In the morning, you can come and drive me out to your ranch for a visit. If everyone is agreeable, I'll consider it." They looked at each other with more compassion. Adam took her hand and blew a kiss on it. "I'm glad your father is still alive. I know how much he meant to you."

Her eyes flashed some anger. What she didn't add was that his father always meant more to him than she ever did. It still made her angry. Looking up and down the street in this dirty dump of a village, she could not imagine what it had to have been like ten years ago before the Comstock Lode. She read the newspaper accounts of the Washoe Excitement as it was called back East. The papers recounted how people endured unimaginable hardships trying to find food and shelter.

"Adam!" Joe came running up. "Nits! That dang bedroll had nits!"

Anne looked horrified, snatching her hand away from Adam. Adam's face fell. "He wasn't scratching before."

"The second one, it had the nits. Now he's dunked himself in the horse trough and can't get out." Joe was breathless. "He's nekkid again," Joe whispered to Adam because they were in front of a lady. "And, he tipped over the wagon fighting the nits. It busted the wheel. I got the two prisoners tied up to a post. And I unhitched the horses. But, we have to find something to cover him."

"Where's your jacket?" Adam demanded.

"Nits!" Joe scratched behind his back. "I'm going back to the bathhouse until you figure something out."

"It's always something with you two." Adam sighed. "We can't leave him in the horse trough. It's too cold."

"I know that, but how are we going to get him across the street to the bathhouse nekkid? We'd have to arrest him for indecent exposure. Now how would that look? And he's a deputy too!" Joe smiled at Anne. "I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm Joe Cartwright."

"I'm Anne Cartwright, Adam's wife."

"Yes, he just told me. I thought you two were divorced."

"We did too." She said tersely. "Okay, Hoss has no clothes. You have nits. The wagon is busted. And you have two prisoners on your hands. What can I do?"

"Anne, if you would be kind enough to strip your bed and drop the sheets and blankets to me, I can wrap them up and get them home."

"How, the wagon is busted."

"Right, but maybe I can hire a wagon or a buggy at the livery stable."

"Tell you what," Anne said sternly. "You go rent it. Once you have it, I'll drop the bedclothes out my window. It's the one overlooking the side street. Then I'll come down and complain that my sheets are gone. I'll say I won't stay in such a place and join you saying I'm going to the boarding house. Meet me by the boarding house, over there." She pointed at the Widow's Boarding house. "Around the back."

Adam smiled broadly and gave her a kiss, which made her startle and flinch. "You've changed, Anne. Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet."

Adam and Joe lit off for the livery to try to get transportation. All they could get was a buggy but it was enough. Hoss, Anne, and the two prisoners could ride in the buggy. Joe and Adam could ride the saddle horses. Adam maneuvered the buggy down below the hotel window so she could drop the sheets and blankets down to him. Then he went to give Joe the signal to dunk himself in the horse trough to get rid of his nits. For good measure, he dunked the unconscious nit infested prisoner in first. That woke the man up. He started hollering he was drowning. Joe pushed his head under a few times and then helped him out. Stripping quickly, Joe dunked himself. By then Adam had the prisoner in the buggy with a sheet around him. Hoss had another sheet on because the blanket was too small. Joe got the blanket. Sure enough, Anne came huffing across the street hauling her luggage bag toward the boardinghouse. Adam nodded to her as she made it to the side street. Then Hoss drove the buggy over to her on the side street so they could make their escape.

"If I had known life out here could be so much fun…" She winked at Hoss.

"Yes, ma'am." Hoss said not knowing what to say to her. "I'm Hoss Cartwright, ma'am. So you're Anne."

"I'm Anne."

"Uh huh, giddyap," Hoss flicked the reins. "This should be powerful interesting tonight."

Nearly two hours later, the buggy and riders pulled up to a halt in the courtyard of the Ponderosa between the barn and the house. By then it was dark. Lanterns hung brightly on the outside of the house, illuminating the front door and the porch. Anne gave the two-storey log cabin a look of disdain. It didn't look like much from the front side in the dark. What she couldn't see was how far back the house extended or how grand it would be inside. She sighed heavily thinking she had given up a decent bed for a rustic hovel. Politely, Adam dismounted to help her down. He figured to let Hoss and Joe slip in the back to get some clothes, while their father came out to greet the buggy.

Alas, it was not to be. Ben Cartwright exited the barn to stand shocked at the sight of a buggy, two strange saddle horses, and six odd people in his front yard. In the dim light cast by the porch lanterns, he realized the big bulk had to be Hoss, but he didn't recognize the horses or the other fellows wrapped in long yards of fabric. The cold wet prisoner started hollering how cold and wet he was, calling it torture. The other one kicked him. The fight was on. Even tied up and wrapped in a sheet, the wet prisoner fought and cursed a blue streak. Hoss leaned down to separate them causing his sheet to drop. Adam shielded Anne's eyes immediately, but she was laughing too hard. Joe tried to cover Hoss, but got a kick landed squarely where a man would least appreciate it. He went down in the fetal position unable to breathe. Rolling in pain, Joe's blanket fell off him. Three naked men lay or stood in front of Ben and a woman. It was too much.

"WHAT IN TARNATION IS GOING ON HERE!!!!", Ben roared, full blast. "THUNDERATION! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MINDS!!!!"

"Uh, no Pa, we caught these here varmints stabbing Dave the bartender. We's deputies now." Hoss yanked the two men off to the barn to toss them in the hayloft and tie them up.

"STOP! STOP RIGHT THERE!" Ben put his hands on his hips. Regaining a modicum of control, he addressed Adam. "Does anyone, ANYONE want to tell me what the sam hill is going on?"

"Please, Pa, a lady…" Adam gestured to Anne whom he had turned around with her back to the proceedings.

"What lady would ride through the night with three naked men! Tell me that!" Ben huffed.

"My wife, Pa," Adam said with a smirk. "This is Anne, from Boston."

Old Ben Cartwright blinked not sure he heard correctly. "Your...?"

"My wife, Pa. Isn't that something?" He had that smug look which said all the absurdity just had to be appreciated.

"But…" Ben saw Adam holding her, shielding her eyes. "I want to see you in the house, NOW!" He stalked off. Turning to point at Hoss, "AND GET SOME CLOTHES ON BOY!"

"Yes sir Pa, as soon as I tie them up."

"I SAID NOW!!!!"

Hoss dropped the culprits and hustled off to the front door to obey. Adam spun Anne around to shield her eyes only to see the naked prisoner and a naked Joe. Taking off his coat, Adam threw it over her head. She was shaking with laughter.

"I'll be a cockeyed mule if I know what is wrong with you three. I raised you right! Now get her in the house!"

"Sorry Pa, but someone has to deal with the prisoners."

Adam let her go, still covered in his jacket. She slyly raised it up to see which way she was pointed. Adam crossed over to the two men and hauled them into the barn to tie them up. Joe hastily grabbed the blanket to cover himself and rushed to the house.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Ben saw the tin star on Adam's jacket. "Deputies since when? And why don't you leave them in the Jail in town?"

Adam gave his father the cat that ate the canary look. "In for a penny in for a pound," Adam grinned. "Why don't you ask Hoss? He burnt it down."

"JOSEPH!" An angry Ben Cartwright stopped his youngest son dead in his tracks. Fearfully turning to face his father only wrapped in a blanket, Joe swallowed hard. "WHY are you naked?"

"Nits, Pa," he smiled weakly. "The prisoners gave us nits. So we dunked in the horse trough to get rid of them." He shrugged. "I think we got them."

Ben's mouth dropped open in shock. "Nits? My boys NITS? Don't you dare go in the house before you bathe. And get your brother out too. HOP SING! HOP SING!!!! Ben roared.

"What you holler for Mr. Cartwright?" Hop Sing, the houseman, saw Joe standing wrapped in a blanket. Then he gasped at the two outlaws one naked on the ground and all in front of a lady. "Lady you no look. It not proper. Why Joe stand there like that?"

"Nits, Hop Sing, the boys have nits." Ben said in befuddled horror. "Get the special soap."

Hop Sing rattled off his opinion of that in Chinese so fast he didn't take a breath. Shouting in Chinese, he pointed for Joe to take the way around the house to the back. "Hop Sing get the special soap. No more nits after Hop Sing get through with naughty boys." Joe gulped. His puppy dog eyes said he knew what was coming. Resigned, he slunk off around the house. Hop Sing marched off to roust Hoss. Yelling in Chinese all anyone could make out was, "MR. HOSS, YOU COME DOWN HERE NOW. YOU NO TOUCH ANYTHING!" And a stream of Chinese invective could be heard all the way into the house.

With that Adam hustled the two outlaws into the barn closing the door behind him. Screams could be heard coming from the barn. Anne cringed at what might be happening in there. Before she had time to ask, Hoss came barreling out in his pants and no shirt with Hop Sing chasing him with a broom, shouting in Chinese. Hoss tried to protect his head with his arm as Hop Sing landed another blow.

"I'm out. I'm out. Okay, I'm out. I didn't touch nothing, Hop Sing. OW!" Hoss ran for it. "OW, dad burn it I'm out okay?"

"HOSS!!!!!!!!!!!" Ben's roar stopped Hoss in his tracks. Hoss looked around with a wild look in his eyes for a place to flee. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU BURNED DOWN THE JAIL?"

"Well, I didn't exactly burn it down, Pa. I mean it burned down. But I didn't try to burn it or the Necessary." Hoss caught Anne's eye and blanched. "Honest, it was the Fever. I had it something bad."

"A necessary, you burned down a necessary too?" Ben said more softly regaining some control. "Okay boy, tell it slow."

"You see Pa, Joe took me to the Jail saying he had some bidness with Sheriff Coffee. I set down by the fireplace to wait. The fire was pitiful so I threw on some empty wooden boxes they had there for kindling. Only it weren't nearly enough. So I threw on some more boxes only they weren't empty. I didn't know I swear Pa. Joe palavered so long with the Sheriff that I went out to the necessary." Ben groaned, knowing this was another one of Hoss' interminable explanations. "Only the gunshots scared me real bad. They was coming out of the Jail in every direction. So I had no choice. I had to hide."

"Who was shooting, Hoss?" Ben said very patiently because Hoss bollixed. "Out with it."

"No one was shooting, exactly, Pa."

"No one was shooting. Then HOW were there gunshots?"

Hoss grimaced so badly he looked like he swallowed a frog. He gulped looking for an escape, but Ben had closed the gap between them to block Anne's view of the half-naked man. Hoss backed up. He backed up some more. He backed up until his back hit the kitchen wall. Hop Sing closed in with the broom and an air of deep anger. Anne watched the huge man cower before his father and a broom-wielding servant. Her eyes went wide. Hoss saw her eyes. It set him off. He ran for it. Hop Sing went after him with the broom.

"I'll tell you later, Pa," Hoss called back. "After, I deal with the nits."

As large as he was, Hoss could be light on his feet if he had to. "You no mess up house Hop Sing just cleaned. You bad boy!" Hop Sing screamed something in Chinese and chased him to the rear. From behind the kitchen, the sounds of that commotion reached Ben and Anne. Anne stood face to face with a confused irate father-in-law. He stared at her. She stared right back at him. He looked towards the barn, then her. He cocked his head to one side. She nodded silently. Ben's eyes and expression softened immediately. Her eyes twinkled with amusement. Then her eyes crinkled in a smile. Cold, she drew Adam's coat around her shoulders and shivered a little. Ben remembered his manners.

"Please, let's go inside where it is warm. So you are Anne," he said with concern. "Maybe you can tell me what this is all about."

"Oh, I wouldn't deprive Hoss of that pleasure for all the world, or Adam either, Mr. Cartwright."

She let him usher her inside. Ben carefully took off Adam's coat to hang it up. He missed letting it fall to the ground, unable to take his eyes off her. She wasn't like he had imagined her. But, then it had been ten years since Adam came home broken hearted. She turned to look about the great hall of a room with the soaring ceilings and Victorian period furniture. The great stone fireplace had a roaring fire. She moved farther into the room to warm herself after the long cold ride through the mountain night. Ben watched her not knowing how to begin. She was a tall beauty, who moved gracefully, completely confident and serene. Ben admired her composure and …sense of humor. Any other woman would be huffing over the outrage to her sensibilities. She had a quirky smile on her face, standing there silently.

"Oh, allow me," Ben poured two glasses of brandy. "To take off the chill," he explained to be hospitable. She accepted, grateful for something after her ordeal. "Please, won't you have a seat?" He gestured to the chair by the fire, pulling another one up for himself. "This is a surprise."

She inclined her head with light mischief in her expression. Anne was sizing him up after that display of anger outside. She wasn't sure she wanted to stay after all. He was as rough as she had imagined. Standing out there bellowing at the top of his lungs, Anne figured him for the frontier lout she believed they all were. First, she saw the huge brother, wrapped in a blanket tied with a rope standing in the middle of the street eating out of tin pail after burning down the Jail. Unconcerned about anyone or anything, Hoss presented quite a picture standing in just his boots and a blanket in the middle of the street. Hoss running bare naked to the shouts of his father made her chuckle again at the mental image. Little Joe dunking himself and the prisoner in a horse trough after the big brother, because of lice only added to the first impression. But, Adam standing there in tatters with a tin star that said only 'Deputy' not even the Sheriff of this godforsaken dump cinched it. Now she was in a log cabin however large with a rough frontiersman who could barely manage any courtesies a civilized man in Boston would have made already. All of it validated her original concerns ten years ago. Unfortunately, it was unlikely Adam would take her back to town even if there were somewhere to stay. In the morning, she decided to insist on going to Carson City to the hotel.

Ben Cartwright was dumbstruck for a change. She was beautiful, poised, and full of life, the kind of wife he had hoped for Adam. Here she was after all these years not making a fuss, just waiting. He didn't know how to begin after what just happened. He was terribly embarrassed over all the nakedness outside. They waited silently for a few minutes until Ben engaged her in conversation.

"Ma'am, I'm happy to meet you after all this time. What brings you to Virginia City?"

"Looking for Adam, sir," she replied without further explanation.

"Oh, well, yes, I suppose you two would have some things to catch up on," Ben looked around for some way to make conversation. "If you are hungry, there was plenty left over from supper or I can have Hop Sing get you what you would like."

"Thank you, sir, but I ate at the hotel."

"Oh, then what about some coffee and cake?"

"Thank you," she replied to get him to leave. She wasn't about to discuss this with him before she had a chance to talk at length with Adam. Ben got up to get the coffee and prepare a tray while Hop Sing dealt with the catastrophe in the yard. He could hear the yelps and complaints from the window.

"Ow!" Little Joe complained. "Do you have to rub so hard?"

"You sit still." Ben heard a string of Chinese invective. The word 'nit' figured prominently.

"Oh no, Hop Sing, that's not necessary. We only had them for a couple of hours."

"Aw shucks, Joe, take it like a man."

"That's fine for you, but I have a head of hair."

"You want me to hold him for you, Hop Sing?" Ben heard Hoss' deep growl filled with irritation. Some more fussing and another yelp told him, Joe just got scalped to prevent a nit outbreak. Ben shook his head remembering the last time when Joe was just seven years old and contracted it at school from some other kids.

"Dad burn it, Joe, if'n you'd sit still he'd be done with it."

"Lop off an ear while you're at it, why don't you? OW!"

"Okay, you clean. Now you go get dressed. No up the back way. Missy not see bad boys."

Ben came in with the tray of cake, a pitcher of coffee, and the requisite china. He set it down on the coffee table and poured offering the sugar and cream. Anne was surprised at the fine quality of the china and the real silver. The place was not quite as bad as she had imagined it would be. They ate some cake waiting for the others.

"I take it there was some excitement in town today."

"You could say."

"Well Hoss has Spring Fever," Ben began then realized how lame that had to sound. "He's had it every year since he was a boy. Something gets into him and well, ma'am, he's just not himself." She agreed with a small hand gesture as if to say, d'oh I saw that. "These exaggerated attacks can be well, dramatic." She cocked an eyebrow at him. That was the understatement of the year. "One time he burned down the kitchen with one of his lapses." She looked alarmed. "But don't worry, he gets over it soon enough. We'll lock him in tonight, just in case." Now she did give him a look of surprise, narrowing her eyes at such a thing. What kind of man was he? "I know that sounds extreme, but you don't know what we deal with every year at this time."

Fortunately, Adam walked in carrying her luggage. Stagecoaches limited passenger baggage to small bags so the mail could also travel with the coach. Adam set down the bag to unbuckle his gun belt. He hung up both his hat and coat before casually crossing the room to stand next to Anne. She barely registered his entrance, lost in thought.

"Well, I suppose Anne would like to freshen up and go to her room," he said to no one in particular.

"By all means," Ben stood up to let the lady exit. "I hope we can make your stay comfortable, ma'am."

"Thank you, Mr. Cartwright. I'll be going in the morning."

"Oh, but you just got here," Ben protested. "We'd love to have a chance to get to know you and visit."

"Well, perhaps we can visit in Carson City if they have accommodations. Otherwise, I intend to go back to Sacramento on the next stage."

"Oh I won't hear of it. Please, consider this your home while you are here," Ben said to be gracious. "If we had known you were coming, we would have come to receive you in town."

"Oh, Adam received me, sir," she rose to excuse herself. "Thank you but no."

She stood at the foot of the stairs for Adam to show her the way up. Hoss appeared on the stairs, clomping down in fresh clothing with Little Joe right behind. Both of them had shaved heads. Sheepishly, they avoided her glance. She waited to let them pass. They didn't look much better cleaned up either. Hoss couldn't meet her eye. Little Joe murmured 'ma'am' and sidled past her. Adam gestured for her to go first.

"Ma'am," Hoss said staring at his shoes, "I want to thank you for what you did in town for me…for us." He gestured to Joe. "You were mighty nice to put up with a provokingly peculiar situation. If'n we done anything to offend you, I'm powerful sorry and much obliged for your kindness."

"Um, yes, I, uh, am mighty glad you came along when you did, ma'am." Joe said also staring somewhere else. "It wasn't right for a lady to have to see any of that. I apologize, sincerely. And, I hope you'll stay long enough to know we really aren't like that."

"Yes, ma'am," Ben echoed finding her cool look apparently justified in the extreme. "I want to apologize for that display in the yard, ma'am. I was so embarrassed. I hope you won't think we are always so ungracious to a lady. Please, reconsider and stay with us for a time."

"Thank you, gentlemen, think no more of it, good night."

With that, she glided up the stairs with Adam carrying her bag behind her. He showed her to the well-appointed guest room. It surprised her that such a room would be in a rough place like this one. The double bed was walnut carved in a baroque styling made up in fine pressed linens trimmed in lace and cutwork. The dresser matched. The washbasin and ewer were of the finest porcelain. The fine linen towels hung pressed next to a beautiful large mirror. The polished wardrobe was uncommonly fine of burled walnut and fine inlay. The chair and footstool sat next to the window, looking comfortable. A crystal water decanter and crystal glass were next to the bed. The whole room was immaculately clean. She approved. They turned to face each other. Adam smiled not sure what to do. She looked at him and burst out laughing.

"I guess we didn't do so well at first impressions."

All he got was laughter so infectious, he couldn't help himself. Adam laughed just as hard at the absurdity, too. He remembered her as very serious. It was good to have a laugh after a day like that. He was beginning to think it was good to see her again. After a time, Adam and Anne finally managed to come down from the laughing jag. Wiping their streaming eyes from laughter induced tears, they sat down to look at each other. All the laughter released the tension built up from the anticipation of what horrible thing the other would do. Now they were just human, two people who knew each other a long time ago and were comfortable with one another, to a point.

At thirty, Anne was a woman of intelligence and spirit not the emotional girl who was terrified to leave Boston ten years before. Remembering a somber serious Adam as her husband, she remembered dreading a hard life on the frontier bound to a humorless man driven by various obsessions as they took hold. She met Adam while he was a student, studying engineering. In those days, there was no architecture major. A student studied mathematics and engineering, then apprenticed for two years to an architect. College students could begin anytime from age 16 onward. Adam had started at 17 and met her at 19 when she was just 16 yrs old. Her father ensured the courtship lasted until she was closer to 18 yrs old. He was not impressed with tales of a great ranch far out on the frontier where daily newspaper accounts told of treachery and Indian raids.

Even so, Adam was Captain Abel Stoddard's grandson. Everyone knew of the Stoddards. They owned successful merchant vessels that regularly sailed from Boston Harbor. Mainstays of local society, the Stoddards provided an acceptable context for their grandson. Of course, Ben Cartwright sent sufficient funds to secure the boy in society and pay for college and his apprenticeship. While Adam stayed in Boston, the Stoddards made sure Adam lived with them and met all their contacts. Ben had asked them to find a suitable mate for his eldest, since nearly no women lived on the frontier. What women there were, certainly were not the sort he would want Adam to marry. The Stoddards made sure the social season issued plenty of invitations for their grandson, which is where he met Anne. With reluctance, Anne's father consented to the marriage on the provision that Adam remain in Boston or close by. For their prospective son-in-law, Anne's family ensured that Adam met the right people for the best architectural firm in Boston. With a bright future ahead of him, Adam and Anne married on the condition that Adam stay in or around Boston. None of them understood how miserable the young man was in the stuffy confines of Boston Town. Anne understood least of all. When he announced his desire to leave and return by ship to Lake Tahoe, she was hysterical. It only added to Adam's misery. By then they had been married for two years and still had no children. When Anne filed for divorce, Adam let her invent any charge she wanted to make certain the marriage dissolved so he could return. The last two months, they didn't even occupy the same residence. In the end, Adam returned broken hearted and relieved to resume his life in a place he loved with his Pa and two younger brothers.

After all this time, now she was here.

"So."

"So."

"Anne, I thought I would take you for a ride tomorrow. I'd like to show you a little of the ranch that I told you so much about. I'd like the pleasure of your company," Adam said gallantly. For many years, he had wanted to show her what she had missed. Her reaction was understated.

"Adam, thank you for the kind offer," she replied softly. "First, I would like to speak with you before returning to town in the morning."

"Town, so soon?" Adam was surprised. "Anne, I really would like you to stay on for a while, see what we built here."

"I know. You spoke of it daily while we were together." She cast her eyes down. "However, I am here for a purpose. I don't want to overstay or impose."

A faint sound of a squawking trumpet sound emanated from below. Adam swallowed not wanting to seem to have heard it. Anne's head swiveled toward the sound. Adam quickly responded to draw her attention back to himself.

"It's no imposition, but I am curious why you made this long and dangerous trip." She hesitated trying to formulate it. Adam spoke reassuringly. "Suppose you explain the problem as you understand it."

"I could but I might be wrong in some particulars. I planned to hand the file to the attorney. I have copies for you, which are notarized and official."

Faintly they heard a sort of trumpeting sound. Adam squirmed a little pretending he didn't hear anything. Anne paused thinking she heard something but then it was quiet.

"As you were saying, but I would like to hear it from you first."

"Very well, it seems that you left before the final decree and before the last papers had to be filed. They didn't have your signature on several things they needed. Somehow, the clerk overlooked it. When I went to do some business last year, I found out that I needed my husband's signature. I explained that we were divorced. However, they assured me we weren't. I hired an attorney to look into it and sure enough, we aren't." She sighed. "I tried to contact you but heard nothing in response. It isn't fair to you either to be entangled with me. I suppose you will want to remarry or have remarried. I don't know. I don't want to be open to a charge of bigamy any more than you do or unable to conduct my own affairs."

"I see. Thank you," Adam said sincerely. "Are you contemplating remarrying?"

"No."

"Oh, well, I haven't remarried either." He studied her face, which was composed and serious.

Faint screams came drifting up from outside. Anne gave Adam a querulous look. He composed himself in his best poker face. She decided it was strange but he continued quickly.

"This business you need to conduct, is there anything I can do to help you complete it besides sorting out the divorce?"

"As I understand it, if you sign the papers, you would be obligated for any debt or liability I might contract. I'm sure you do not want to be entangled in my business affairs. To be careful, we shall have to stipulate in the divorce agreement, what assets are my separate property. I prepared all the necessary documents in advance."

"I see," Adam said carefully.

More screeches that resonated with screams reached the room, which overlooked the side of the house next to the corral and was closest to the barn.

Adam hurried to add, "Of course I would stipulate to all of that." He saw her relax, ever so slightly. "Anne, you know I would never claim your money as my own."

"The Adam I knew would not. I wasn't sure about the Adam these many years later. Still and all, we are strangers to one another. I will make a full disclosure about what is involved financially. As my husband, technically, you own everything I have. My lawyer advised me that you have to know what you are giving up or the agreement is not binding."

"I appreciate that you are concerned. Please don't be. What's yours is yours," Adam said sincerely.

"Thank you."

Again a strange cross between a scream and a trumpet came from below. Adam crossed his legs giving her his rapt attention. She gave him a suspicious look.

"What all did you create?" Adam asked to distract her.

"I own a ship's chandler firm," she said shyly. A chandler provisioned ships in port. It was a competitive business but a necessary one. "I wanted to expand by taking a working capital loan and found I couldn't under the circumstances. You can imagine how frustrated I was."

"You are amazing. I don't remember you like this at all."

"Nor do I remember you like this. You never discussed important matters with me."

"Anne, please stay with us for a while until we can sort this out. There's no need to rush off."

"Adam, I don't want to give you the wrong impression."

Again screams and shouts drifted up from the front through the window. Anne turned her head to wonder what was happening. She looked back in concern at Adam, who pretended not to notice anything.

"I don't think that. Pa really meant it that he wants you to stay." He saw her cast her eyes down so he could not read her. "What?"

"I don't think I care to stay and witness his temper again. It frightens me. More screams and a trumpeting screech came more loudly. Listen to him yelling down there at those two. Please, just take me to a hotel. I am prepared to pay all the expenses including my stay at the hotel. I want this to be painless for you."

"Oh, Anne," Adam choked up. There was that strange sound again. Anne got up to look out the window but Adam intercepted her. "Sure, if that's what you want." He smiled a strained smile. "Excuse me a moment." He shut the door and raced downstairs where Ben was handing it to the boys.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO PAY FOR A NEW JAIL?"

"That's why the City Council made us deputies. They took a vote. Mr. Prescott said that you will get the bill for the new jail and in the meantime the Ponderosa is the jail."

"We'll see about that! Walt Prescott does not dictate to me! We don't even live in the city limits!"

"But Pa, we's deputies and got them two prisoners in the barn," Hoss lamented.

"TAKE THEM BACK! Take them back to Walt Prescott with my compliments! And you," he stabbed a finger at Hoss. "You are so fond of telling me that you are a grown man. Well then Mr. Cartwright, YOU can PAY for the new jail!" Ben harrumphed. "You want to be a man, BE A MAN!!!! I don't want to ever hear of your childish self-indulgent Spring Fever again!"

"Yes Pa," Hoss said miserably. "But Pa, how am I gonna pay for a new jail?"

"I'm sure you'll figure something out. It's not my problem any more."

"But Pa…."

"No but Pa me..." Ben took a breath. "AND GET THAT PROBLEM OUT OF MY BARN!"

"But Pa," Hoss pleaded.

Joe looked at Hoss like he had lost his mind.

Adam went downstairs and sent Hoss and Joe off to the barn to deal with the problems in the barn. Ben ordered them to make sure the lice ridden one bathed and Hop Sing shaved his head. At his desk in the alcove, Ben saw the look on Adam's face, knowing it was serious. Adam quickly recounted how upset Anne was at all the yelling and …screeching. Ben readily agreed to apologize to her. She was right. His performance was atrocious by her understanding. Adam went back upstairs to retrieve her. Once in the great room, Ben stood waiting for her at the fireplace. He then proceeded to give the courtliest apology any 19th century man ever made to a lady. It did make an impression.

"And I may leave for Carson City any time?"

"Of course, ma'am," Ben said gently. "I realize we are strangers to one another. I don't want you to think you are stranded way out here with us. We would enjoy a visit and a chance to know so lovely and gracious a lady as yourself. Besides, you have had a long journey. Take some time to rest up."

"Thank you, Mr. Cartwright. Then let's do it for one more day. The day after tomorrow, though I want to go into Carson City with Adam."

"Agreed, ma'am," Ben said seriously. "If I didn't say it well before, let me welcome you to the Ponderosa."

"Thank you, sir."

"Will you allow me to show you a little of the ranch, tomorrow morning?"

"Thank you Adam, yes. That would be nice."

Unfortunately, there was a jailbreak out of the barn. Hoss and Joe came screaming and charging for the house. Hoss and Joe fairly ran for the front door. Just as they got inside, Old Sheba made it to the door too. She wanted in. Trumpeting her upset, she pushed the door inwards. Old Sheba wasn't going to be denied. Together Hoss and Joe tried to close the door but could not hold it against her strength. Both of them spilled into the room, tumbling over themselves as a huge trunk came searching into the room. It found Joe and wrapped around him pulling him out. Hoss went barreling after Joe yelling at the beast.

"Sheba, put him down. Down Sheba, down."

"HOSS!!!!!" Joe cried out.

"Sheba be a nice elephant and put him down."

Ben and Adam rushed out after them. Sheba carried Joe like a doll in her trunk out to the pasture. The three men hurried after them. Anne stood in the doorway slack jawed until she started doubling up with laughter. Never in a million years would she have expected them to have a pet elephant. Naturally, Anne rushed out to see what was happening with Joe and the elephant. Three men chased a large pachyderm out to the meadow hollering and waving. Adam reached it first. By then it had dumped Joe on the ground and was foraging as if that were the most natural thing to do. Maybe it wanted company. Maybe it just wanted out of the barn. Maybe it couldn't take all the other shrieks coming from the barn. Anne looked at the open barn door and decided against going in there. Whatever was making those sounds, she wasn't about to approach it alone. A few minutes later, Adam came loping back to her with a lopsided grin. Throwing his arms out wide, he laughed.

"And you wondered why I just couldn't stay away from here!"

"Adam, you people are not normal." She saw his face fall. "But then what fun would that be?" She busted up laughing. Adam joined her. They stood together watching his father and two brothers cajoling an elephant in the moonlight. Adam turned to her to reappraise her carefully.

"I don't know you, not really do I?"

Their eyes met as if strangers looked at one another for the first time. She broke away first.

"I'd like to," he said softly. "Very much."

"Adam…." She looked away. This wasn't what she came to do at all. She wanted to end it and go home. "It's been a long day."

"Right, sleep well, Anne." She chucked her head towards the shrieks in the barn, with a questioning look. "Uh, Hop Sing is cleaning up the prisoners. Sounds like he's getting objections. It upset Sheba."

"Oh." She left him awkwardly and hurried inside away from the cold night air. Standing in the great room, Anne reappraised it with different eyes. It really was nice, all things considered. Some of her friends had hunting lodges not so different, if she wanted to think about it that way. Exhaustion swept over her as she mounted the stairs. What a weird ending to an improbable day.

Anne became aware of the house stirring long before dawn. Lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling she considered how to make her exit gracefully. She did not intend to stay around. It sent the wrong signals. Once dawn broke, Anne got up to deal with the day. After washing and dressing, she took her bag and went downstairs to find them assembling for breakfast after their morning chores. All the men rose for her. Adam and Ben sat at either end of the table with her opposite the two shaven headed brothers. Hoss and Joe were embarrassed and miserable. Hop Sing served the usual hearty ranch breakfast, which astounded her in its quantity. Watching Hoss eat grossed her out. She ate an egg, small biscuit with jam, and coffee. Hoss ate, well, like Hoss. After the pancakes and syrup, he started on the eggs and ham with some bacon, biscuits, and gravy all mixed in. He ate three times what the others ate. Adam noticed with some concern her reaction although she kept her eyes on her plate.

"Thank you for your hospitality last night, Mr. Cartwright. I really do want to finish my business with Adam and return. I am grateful for the visit, but I'll stay in Carson City tonight."

"What is she talking about?" Ben asked Adam.

"It seems the lawyers made some sort of mistake. Our divorce is invalid. Anne came to straighten it out with me."

"That's very… admirable that you would endeavor to undertake such a strenuous dangerous journey to do this face to face, ma'am," Ben said seriously. "May I ask why you did not write to us first?"

"I did, but neither my letters nor my telegrams ever reached Adam apparently. So I came myself to bring the documents. I can't do this in Boston without his presence or his agent with power of attorney. I was afraid he was avoiding me, moved, or was deceased. Not knowing, I felt it best to come myself to find him. Now, we can deal with it together. I have informed Adam of the problem and assured him I will assume all the expenses. That is why I need to go to Carson City. I must hire an attorney here to complete my end of things." She nodded to them and rose, "Thank you once again for the chance to meet you all. You have been most kind to me, Mr. Cartwright by allowing me to sojourn in your home." She nodded to him and he nodded back. "Adam, would you please drive me to Carson City or send an employee to take me?"

"Anne, come with me a moment," Adam took her hand. "Pa, excuse us."

Ben watched them go so sadly. It was a pity that Adam let a woman like that get away. And for what, so he could chase saloon girls for ten years? Well technically Adam was married to her, but it was a legal fiction. Ben shook his head in disgust. Where had he gone wrong with his sons that none of them were married to nice women like that? The rest of the morning, he went over the books to plan for the rebuilding of the Jail and… the necessary. The sad truth was Hoss could never manage it.

Once in her room, Adam carefully shut the door. She braced for his anger. "Anne, I'm not going to get mad, please, sit."

"Thank you, Adam. I really don't want a scene."

"I thought you agreed to stay another day or two."

"I changed my mind. You did say I could go anytime I wanted."

"Yes, of course, but," Adam knew something else was bothering her. "Okay, Anne if that's the way you want it. I suppose we really are strangers aren't we?"

"Exactly," Anne said softly. "Under the circumstances, I feel terribly awkward staying here. If you want to see me in town, I have no objection."

"Tell you what," Adam said more brightly. "I guess that I could stay in town too for a couple of days and help with anything you need."

"That would be appreciated, Adam. Thank you."

"Anne, I …."

"I know. It's been ten years, Adam."

"Seeing you again, well, I'm remembering all the good times and none of the bad ones."

Anne took a few moments to compose her thoughts. She wanted to be careful not to anger any of them while she was stuck there. "Adam, I'm happy to see you are well and home with a family that loves you so much. It was extraordinary of your father to allow me to stay here. You have been most kind. Really, though, I am here to take care of our business and go home. Let's make this as pleasant as possible."

"I never asked you about you. What about your family? How are they?"

"My mother and father are still alive, though older. My younger brother is at sea as a lieutenant in the Navy. My sister got married to a man in New York. My older brother died, you see ….in the War," she paused."

"Oh I am sorry, Anne." Adam really was.

"Well, it is what it is."

"I see." Adam wasn't sure he should ask. She wasn't his responsibility and she was in a strange way since they were still married. "Are you financially all right?"

"I'm fine." She assured him. "I work because it is interesting and I'm good at it. Society raises a few eyebrows and…I don't care." She laughed lightly.

"Who is looking after things while you are here?"

"My father checks on things. I work with a second cousin, Edwin who is twenty-eight now. He's a natural at it. All the sea captains like him. He handles the rough stuff. I handle the business end. My accountant will handle the books while I am gone. My father is there to oversee problems, although he still practices law. He doesn't approve of me doing all this you know." She smiled ruefully. "It makes me too independent from him, which is the whole point."

"Well, sounds like you have things under control."

"Shall we?"

"Let me put a few things together."

While she was waiting, she went downstairs to walk outdoors. Walking around the house, she saw how large it was. The meadow was beautiful too. As she stood at the edge, Hoss came by walking the elephant, talking to it. Chuckling at the sight, Anne thought they must be one strange family. She tried to imagine having lived there with …him… for the last ten years and decided it would have been an adventure to say the least. No, back then she wasn't ready for all this. Ben saw her and came over to her.

"Hello, Mr. Cartwright," Anne greeted him with a smile.

"I guess we didn't make such a good impression last night." She said nothing, afraid to set him off again. Ben searched for something to say to make her change her mind. "We probably look like lunatics." Hoss led Old Sheba out to the meadow where she wanted to go anyway. As they passed by, Hoss waved to them. "I don't suppose you have elephants in your barn?"

One look and both burst out laughing. "Not even pink ones," Anne chortled. More seriously, she told him, "I'm happy for Adam. This is where he belongs."

Ben sighed. "If I had known he married a woman like you, I would have been on a ship back to Boston to reason with you myself."

"Mr. Cartwright, back then I was scared out of my mind at the idea of coming here."

"And now?"

"I'm here," she answered softly. "Ten years is a long time."

"Yes, it is. I don't know where the time went. I don't think Adam could tell you either." When he got no response, Ben tried another way. "How are the Stoddards? Do you see them?"

"I see them now and then. Captain Stoddard is elderly now. All those years at sea took its toll. The arthritis, you know." Ben nodded understanding. It happened to so many sailors. "I left a letter for you on your desk from him along with some other correspondence from Boston. People still remember you. When folks knew I was making the journey, they asked if I would carry their well wishes."

"Thank you, that's very kind of you."

Ben looked out to the meadow, hiding the deep emotion. People did such things in those days because the mails were so slow and unreliable. The Indians read a lot of the mail along the stagecoach routes, meaning it was pitched overboard when they attacked leaving it to scatter across the plains.

"Are you returning to Boston soon?"

"I haven't booked passage from San Francisco yet, not knowing if I could find Adam, if that's what you mean."

"Partly," Ben said cautiously. He didn't want to press her too hard to stay. It would only push her away. "It's pretty country here."

"Yes, it is everything Adam described, sir." Realizing she should make him a compliment about the ranch, she added, "Your achievement is impressive, Mr. Cartwright. We read about the hardships the pioneers face out here. You have carved out an oasis of civilization. You must be a remarkable man."

"Thank you, you are kind to say so." He smiled at her. She had no interest in any of it. He was relieved and saddened. It was obvious that she was just being polite. He half thought she might have an ulterior motive for coming. Clearly, she wasn't interested in any of it. "We have managed to civilize this area since we first arrived. You know we just built an opera house in Virginia City?" He said brightly. "It's first class." She looked down so as not to contradict him.

"I'm sure it is lovely and welcome."

"Do you enjoy the opera?"

"No, I'm not particularly fond of it, sir. I like concerts, but not opera." They watched Hoss argue with the elephant. Anne rubbed her eyes not quite believing the spectacle of a huge man arguing with an elephant in a meadow in Nevada. "Doesn't Adam have to go back to town to be the deputy every day? Won't he get fired?"

"I sure hope so. Ma'am, he's not the deputy. None of them are. The city council got so mad yesterday because Hoss burnt down the Jail that they deputized the boys as retaliation and sent the prisoners here." As hard as Ben tried to be annoyed, just saying that made him burst out laughing. She did too. "Adam runs the timber operations and much of the ranch business. He does the traveling for me when it's necessary, too. I am lucky to have three grown sons." At that moment, Old Sheba wrapped her trunk around Hoss. "Well, two and a half grown sons." Ben's face crinkled in smile. "He's really very good with animals."

"I can see that," she smiled.

"You know he's always bringing home strays. One time he brought back a bear and wanted to keep it. It loved him."

"From what I heard in town, most folks do too."

"See Hoss understands the world through his feelings. Adam understands things logically. And Joe, well he is something in between, but smart as a whip." She nodded not interrupting. "I thought they would all be married and settled by now. They don't seem to be in any hurry."

She turned to check for sight of the buggy. It wasn't there yet. "I wonder what is keeping Adam."

"He's probably in the barn or dealing with the hands on some problem. They come to him first now, so as not to bother me with every detail. You know we run 10,000 head of cattle on over 1000 square miles of Nevada right along the shores of Lake Tahoe. We also have the biggest timber rights in the West, even up in Oregon because of Adam's shrewd negotiating." She was suitably impressed. As a businessperson, she appreciated his achievements more at this stage of her life. "Adam was in town yesterday for the Cattleman's Association meeting. He represents the Ponderosa. He's on the school board, too."

"But if you aren't within the city limits, how can he be on the school board?"

"It's the county board of education." Ben shrugged. "I suppose I'll have to rebuild the jail, anyway. Adam will design it. You know he designed the railroad trestle over the Truckee River? It's part of the transcontinental railroad that will be here in a few years."

"A jail and a trestle," she trailed off unimpressed, thinking of the great buildings he would have designed and built in Boston. "Has he designed anything else?"

"You know he built the house?" Ben turned to face it. She turned too. "He designed it to last a hundred years. It was the first thing he did when he came home from Boston. He expanded the original log cabin to the size of the main room and lifted the roof to make the ceilings high. Then he designed the bedroom and kitchen wings. He built the storerooms at the opposite end to be part of the rear compound." Ben stopped realizing he was pushing her.

"It is an impressive house, Mr. Cartwright. I'm glad you let Adam do all that. He was a promising architect when we were married." She smiled. "Are married, crazy isn't it?"

"No, not really," Ben said slowly. "Anne…. he never got over you."

"I scarred him that badly?" She laughed, to make light of it. "Put him off women forever, did I?"

"Not that bad, but he's never shown any interest in marrying again. Did you remarry?"

"No, Mr. Cartwright," she didn't elaborate. He was fishing and she knew it. In those days, it was a terrible breach of etiquette to ask a stranger such personal questions. Technically, she was his daughter-in-law; but she was really a stranger. He was a stranger to her.

"Anne, I know you have every right to refuse, but I'm going to ask you as a personal favor to an old man to stay another day."

"Mr. Cartwright, it's been ten years. What's done is done."

"Is it?" He looked straight into her eyes. "Is it? Yesterday morning when he rode off to the meeting, I would have agreed. Today, well, I know my son."

She stood there silently, not answering. The silence stretched on. She shook her head.

"Adam has not been pining for me for ten years. He's curious. You are curious. That's all it is. I don't feel like being the Ponderosa curiosity, sir. You have an elephant for that."

"Oh, I didn't mean it that way." Ben sighed heavily. "Good Golly, we really made a bad impression. You must think we are a bunch of lunatics and ruffians."

"Sir, I take things as they come. Life is too short to worry about nonsense. Thank you for your hospitality. You have been most gracious and kind. Excuse me," she drifted away to find Adam.

Ben turned to lean against the railing and sighed heavily. Normally, he stayed out of his son's love affairs. Once in a while, he didn't. If she really were still married to Adam, well, maybe he needed to intervene for everyone's sake. Adam was thirty-three years old. In Ben's opinion, it was atrocious that Adam was alone and had not gotten serious about having a family. Ben wanted grandchildren. By golly, those two were married and it was supposed to be until death do them part! For that matter, the other two were due to get married as well. It was time he dealt with the problem since they weren't doing a thing about it. Other fathers arranged marriages. Ben decided he had been remiss. He called his foreman over to send out riders to engage all the hotel space in Carson City and any boarding rooms too. Upon second thought, he had some others go to the nearby settlements of Gold Hill and Silver City, too. After Adam and Anne departed, Ben got on his horse and rode over to Abe McClain's ranch a few miles away. Abe had a niece named Carrie who was sweet on Little Joe. Joe fancied her too. Time to deal with it before going into Virginia City to see his lawyer.