A/N: Well then...Hi, guys! I wasn't actually going to post this on here originally, but since Facebook is oddly formatting my story, I don't really have much of a choice. Lol. I'm not trying to deprive you guys of my stuff or anything, but this isn't really a oneshot. Well, at least I don't really have it planned out to be a oneshot. I kind of have a second chapter idea forming around in my head, but I don't know if I want to commit to writing a chapter story at the moment. (Hopefully, you guys aren't too pissed with me already with Anthem For The Underdog not being updated yet) Anyhow, screw it! XD I'm posting it. Tell me if you guys like it or not. Sorry if this story seems kind of awkward. ; o ;

Warning: Selfcest! This is a Matt x Mail selfcest story! If you don't like selfcest, turn back now! No, they're not related. Not incest, just selfcest. There's a difference. Also, I'm not quite sure what to do with this story, so if it fails majorly, you've been warned ahead of time. XD;; This story is rated M for later chapters (if I do decide to continue this).

The sound of rustling in the bushes outside his window woke Matt from his slumber. Well, he wasn't completely asleep to begin with, but the noises coming from outside his window were beginning to make him paranoid. In the shadows of his room, the young man groaned and pulled the covers up over his head. He shifted uncomfortably against his pillow as he realized he had left his goggles resting on top of his head. Jeez, if he was so tired earlier, why was he so wide awake now? He snatched the goggles off the top of his head in annoyance before tossing them over to the nightstand beside his maroon futon bed.

With his back to the window, he could hear twigs and leaves scraping up against the glass pane. The faint screeching caused the man to cringe. While pressing his head further into his pillow to try to block out the sounds, it was clear he wasn't going to get any sleep tonight. It wasn't like he was alone in the house; his roommate Mello was sleeping right across the hall, but Matt's paranoia was still digging under his skin. It was one of the many things that his best friend loved to tease him about. Whatever slight fault Mello could find, he'd poke fun at Matt, but it was all just in good fun. There was never any true insults or harsh feelings.

Through all the different noises that were coming from the window, there was a foreign sound that caught Matt's attention. Suddenly becoming more alert, he listened carefully to see if he'd hear the noise again or declare to himself it was just his imagination. After a few more seconds passed, however, the same thudding sound echoed in the brunette's ears. His brow hardened as he tried to decipher what the noise was, searching through his memory bank until it finally clicked.

Someone was knocking on his window.

If he wasn't wide awake earlier, he definitely was now. Quickly, Matt sat up in bed. Chestnut strands of hair whipped into his eyes from the force. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as his fists tightened, ready to fight if someone was about to break into his room. As green eyes peered over at the window, Matt slowly felt himself relax. "Jesus," he hissed under his breath before draping his legs over the side of his bed and heading towards the window.

Standing in the bushes outside Matt's window was a younger, brunette boy Matt recognized to be Mail. The teen of sixteen had his arms wrapped around himself as he shivered from the wind's chill blows. Caramel locks of hair were being blown by the wind, some wild strands falling in his face while the rest of his hair sat in a messy mop on top of his head. Made aggressive by the wind, some limbs of the bushes had attacked Mail's white, short-sleeved shirt and army green and white, stripped shorts.

The moment the window opened, the younger teen's innocent, key lime colored eyes stared up at Matt apologetically. After glancing at the younger teen up and down, Matt shook his head disapprovingly as he commented, "Jeez, kid, wear a jacket next time. It's the middle of September."

Still rubbing his exposed arms in hopes of becoming warmer, Mail looked off to the side. With something sitting heavily on his mind, he didn't acknowledge Matt's statement. A gloomy frown sat on his lips. Matt could have sworn he heard a sniffle come from the boy, but it was hard to tell with the wind growling so loudly.

"C-Can I come in?" Mail asked shakily. He hesitantly glanced up at the nineteen year old before peering into the other's shadowy room. "...Is Mello home?"

Matt frowned. He could easily tell there was something bothering the teen. The way fear lightly coated Mail's voice wasn't exactly settling well with Matt either. "Yeah, Mello's home," Matt answered evenly. He could see the last smidgen of hope drop away from Mail's face before Matt added, "But you can still come in if you want."

Mail's attention snapped back up to Matt's face before nodding quickly. As Matt stepped away from the window, Mail scurried inside the warm bedroom. Once inside the room, Mail stood awkwardly off to the side. With one of his arms now down to his side, his other hand rested close to his shoulder as he nervously rubbed his arm. Matt walked back over to his bed and sat down on the edge of it quietly before resting his arms over top of his legs as he leaned forward. "So...?"

"I'm sorry," The words quickly exploded out of Mail's lips.

Matt lifted an eyebrow and snickered, "You came all this way just to say you're sorry?"

"It's just that...," Mail paused momentarily to glance past Matt at the digital clock that rested on the nightstand. In neon red numbers, the clock read: 2:13 AM. "It's just that it's two o' clock in the morning, your roommate's home, and I woke you up, and...I'm just sorry."

Glancing back at the clock before returning his gaze to his friend, Matt reassured, "It's fine. I wasn't really getting much sleep anyway." He paused before slowly adding, "And Mello's asleep. It's not like he knows you're here...And even if he did, he wouldn't—well—err—he wouldn't really do anything."

When Mail remained silent and continued to stare at the floor, Matt climbed more onto his bed to reach over to his nightstand. Pulling open the top door, he took out his pack of cigarettes that lied inside. He took one cig out before tossing the rest back into the draw and pulling out his lighter. Scooting off of his bed and heading back over towards the open window, Matt mumbled, "I'm gonna take a smoke."

Watching him head over to the window and lean against the frame, Mail gave a curt nod. Mail already knew the other smoked, but Matt still gave him a forewarning. It was almost as if he expected Mail to snap at him the moment he lit one up without saying anything. Light green eyes watched as the metallic lid of the silver lighter clicked open. A faint hiss filled the room as a golden flame flicked out of the lighter. Momentarily, a slight, amber glow was cast on that corner of the room. As quick as it came, the silver lid hungrily crunched down the flame and darkness filled the room again.

The older teen stood close to the window to make sure the smoke escaped the room. After Matt took a deep whiff of his cigarette, Matt voiced the question Mail knew was coming. "So, what are you doing here then? Last time I checked, you're not one to go stalking the streets at two o' clock in the morning just for fun." A humored grin pulled at the edge of his lips as he tried to lift the darkened atmosphere, "Unless you're suddenly turning over a new leaf, Jeevz."

At hearing the nickname, a small smile cracked Mail's melancholy exterior, but a single crack in a wall isn't going to make it crumble. When their green eyes locked with one another, Mail realized he had been staring. Quickly, he looked away and gazed at the floor. "I-I...Uhh, well, I..." As words fell short of him, a sheepish chuckle rolled off his tongue as he reached up to scratch the back of his neck. "I wasn't actually expecting you to wake up," Mail admitted.

"So, you knocked my window for no reason whatsoever?"

There was no quarrel in Matt's voice, but Mail still took it with slight edge. "No, I-I..." Mail's face heated up in embarrassment. Barely loudly enough to qualify as a whisper, he explained, "I wasn't going to try to wake you at first. I was just going to sleep outside your window..."

Amusedly, Matt repeated, "You were just going to sleep outside my window?" He was tempted to laugh, but instead he just allowed a smirk to tug at the edge of his lips.

Even through the darkness of the room, Matt could see Mail's face flush rosy pink. "I was going to leave in the morning!" Mail defended suddenly, trying to desperately fend off the humiliation. Sorrow softened his voice as he mumbled quietly, "I couldn't think of anywhere else to go."

Matt flashed him a sympathetic look before inhaling more nicotine. "Why can't you just stay at home?"

Mail glanced up at him for a second before returning his gaze to the floor, remaining silent. There was a long pause before Mail forced out, "No reason."

Giving a slight chuckle, Matt shook his head. "You're a horrible liar."

"You are too," He countered. He paused before asking again, "Should I leave? What if I accidentally wake your roommate up?"

Matt sighed and admitted, "Then he won't exactly be very thrilled that I have company over, so try to keep your voice down." He took a few more whiffs of his cig before heading over to his bed. Crawling over it, he reached for his ash tray before crushing the cigarette bud against the metal. After setting the tray back on the nightstand, he scooted over to sit on the edge of the bed again. Patting the bed beside him, Matt called him over.

Not budging from the corner of the room, Mail gave Matt a weary look. It wasn't like he'd never been over to Matt's house before or never been in his friend's bedroom. It was just that the circumstances were a bit different this time. For one, it was two o' clock in the morning. Secondly, the problems that were weighing in his mind were making him want to just curl up in the shadowy corner of Matt's room rather than be comforted by his good friend.

At seeing the other's hesitance, Matt softly reassured the other, "Come on, Mail. You know I don't bite."

"Too much," Mail added to the end of Matt's statement. The joke was there, but the smile wasn't anywhere to be seen on Mail's face. He just didn't have the energy to force the teasing smile to his lips. The teen made his way over to the bed and sat down beside Matt. While giving a heavy sigh, Mail ducked his head down. Cinnamon strands of hair fell over his face as his shoulders slacked. This time Matt was positive he heard a sniffle.

"Jeevz," Matt slowly began. "What's going on?"

Mail sniffled and quickly reached up to wipe his watering eyes. After inhaling a shaky breath, he bit his bottom lip to keep himself from whimpering. It was embarrassing enough to be around Matt while he was in this state, but full out bawling was just crossing the line of shame a little too far. He gulped down tears as he tried to calm himself down. Mail tensed when he felt Matt's hand rest calmly on his back. He glanced over at the older teen to see a patient expression on his face. Gently, Matt rubbed his hand up and down Mail's back in comfort.

Being around Matt was definitely helping and making him feel less alone, but Mail couldn't help but worry that he was wasting Matt's time or bothering him. Mail coughed oddly to try to cover up a sudden sob that tried to shake him. Clearing his throat, he wiped his watery eyes again. He let out a growl of frustration before finally sighing and shaking his head. Silence stretched through the room as Mail took control of his sorrow. Unfortunately, his voice still cracked when he mumbled out, "It's my mom."

Luckily, Matt still understood the slightly inaudible words. "Hmm?"

"My mom," Mail began slowly while continuing to look down at the floor. While Matt's hand continued to roam on Mail's back, Mail fidgeted slightly with his hands in his lap. While giving a small, pained smile, he lightly shook his head. "She kicked me out."

The hand on his back stopped. A deep frown rested on Matt's face. "She kicked you out?"

Mail faintly nodded. "Yeah. She did." After sniffling and rubbing the back of his wrist to his nose, he continued, "I-It's no big deal. Really. It's fine. I-I'm making too big a deal out of this."

"Tch." While lightly shaking his head, Matt gave Mail a sad smile. "If it's enough to bother you, it's a big deal."

Mail suddenly lifted his head to meet Matt's gaze head on. Widened, key lime green eyes stared at Matt, who's eyes were also widened slightly in surprise at Mail's sudden reaction. The younger teen bit his bottom lip before turning his head away. While examining the side of Mail's face, Matt chuckled through his nose before quietly teasing, "Are you sure you're sixteen? Because you're starting to look more and more like you're ten."

A small grin over took Mail's face. "You ass," Mail laughed lightheartedly before softly shoving him. "I think you just go looking around for little kids. Tch. Pedophile."

The moment of smiles faded away into the darkness sooner than either of them wanted it too. The serious atmosphere clung heavily to the two of them again. Matt's arms were both back at his sides after being pushed by the other. The older teen watched Mail carefully before asking, "Do you not have any family members to stay with?"

Mail shook his head. "Not that are anywhere close. It's alright though. I'll be going back home tomorrow."

In confusion, Matt's eyes slightly squinted. "You'll be going home tomorrow? But you—."

"This has happened before," Mail cut him off to explain. A little softer, he sighed, "She's kicked me out before." The weight had been placed back on his shoulders. His hands trembled for a moment as he felt on the verge of tears again, but he held them back. He didn't want to cry if he could help it. He already felt weak enough as it was and embarrassed that Matt already had to see him like that—like this. "She'll just get so angry sometimes and start yelling at me. She'll kick me out, but then the very next day, it's like nothing ever happened...I'll walk back into the house, and she'll greet me as if I was just hanging out with some friends or was coming home from school."

There was a long pause. Mail glanced over at Matt to see if he were still listening or if he had ignored him yet. Mail half wanted to tell him that if he didn't want to listen to any of this crap, he'd stop ranting. However, when Mail looked over, he could tell that Matt's full attention was on him. The brunette even gave a small nod to urge Mail to continue on with what he was saying. Mail complied.

"I just," He hesitated. "I just got scared this last time. Things seemed worse, and Nate was crying." Mail's eyes shut tightly as he shook his head in frustration. He quickly shifted forward to where his elbows were resting on his knees. Fingers snaked through his hair as he let out a faint growl that twisted into a exasperated whimper. "Nate was crying," Mail repeated, "And I couldn't do anything at all. I had to just leave him there!"

As his body began to quiver, Mail couldn't help it this time. Large tears began to roll from his clenched eyes to his reddened cheeks. As he felt the water droplets drip off his chin and splash against his legs, he only trembled more. "I couldn't do anything," He mumbled again in short breaths. Mail couldn't take it anymore. He crumbled under the pain—the sorrow—the humiliation. He just couldn't take it anymore. Why did he have to come here and bother Matt with this too? Why didn't he just do the same routine he always did? This was stupid. He shouldn't have came here. An agonizing sob choked him momentarily as the tears forced their way out.

He thought he could handle it. He should have been able to handle it, especially in front of Matt! Mail was close enough to being an adult. If he were more mature, maybe he'd be able to handle this. It was just another detail that dug a needle into his heart. If he wasn't a kid and he wasn't an adult, what was he? Neither. Nothing. Tch. He felt like he was nothing. He wasn't old enough to support himself on his own. He wasn't old enough to get away from his mother's wrath, and he wasn't old enough to help Nate. He was more of a mess than he originally though. Ha! What a joke.

Mail's eyes snapped open as he felt Matt's arm wrap around his body. Mail let out a sharp gasp of surprise as the older teen pulled Mail into him. With Matt's arms wrapped strongly around Mail, the younger brunette's head naturally placed itself against Matt's shoulder just under the teen's chin. Mail froze in the embrace. Mail could feel Matt gently place his jaw on top of Mail's head while he continued to pull him closer.

No words were said as the two of them sat there in the hug. As the surprise slowly faded away, Mail wrapped his own arms around Matt. While hugging the older teen closer, Mail sniffled. Reddened, puffy eyes slowly slipped close as he tossed his head slightly so his bangs covered his eyes. Into Matt's chest, Mail whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Again with the apologies?" Matt lightly chuckled before telling him quietly, "There's nothing to be sorry about."

With a saddened frown on his lips, Mail lightly nuzzled into Matt's chest, hoping the other wouldn't mind the action too much. When Matt didn't seem to object in any way by shoving him back, Mail relaxed a bit more. Even though everything had seemed so messed up only moments ago, Mail was starting to feel a little bit better there. The comforting hug definitely was doing a good job at calming him down.

Matt had broken the silence, but Mail was too far off in a daze to process what was said. The fact that it was after two o' clock in the morning was weighing down on him a bit. "What?"

"Who's Nate?" Matt repeated.

"Nate's my little brother."

Matt's head lifted a bit to peer down at the teen in his arms. His slightly widened eyes blinked with curiosity. "I didn't know you had a brother."

After giving a faint laugh, Mail lightly joked, "He's only eight. I was trying to hide him from you, you pedo."

"Cold," Matt chuckled back.

Continuing their embrace, the older brunette rested his chin back down on Mail's head. With the silence filling between them, Mail half expected it to become awkward, but it strangely didn't. The quiet air was both peaceful and soothing. With tears no longer shaking his body, Mail calmly rested against the other. With his head resting against the other's upper chest, Mail swore he could faintly hear Matt's beating heart. Real. True. Strong. With Mail's breathing gradually becoming even again, he eased more into their hug. Mail focused on trying not to squirm around too much. He didn't want Matt to think he was trying to get away from him or was weirded out by their embrace.

"You can stay here for the night."

Awakened from the peaceful trance, Mail shifted and moved away slightly to look at Matt head on. Green eyes blinked blankly at the older teen for a moment. Mail searched the other's eyes before whispering, "Are you sure? I can find somewhere else to stay. I didn't come expecting the stay. I don't want to intrude or—."

"Jeevz, don't worry so much. You're not a bother. You can stay here if you like."

Mail gave a small smile in acknowledgment before nodding slightly. Not completely hugging now, Mail realized how close the two of them were from each other. Although their positions had changed slightly, their bodies were still close together. With Mail leaning at the angle he was in, their faces were less than a foot apart. Okay, so now things were a little awkward. Mail could felt his heart speed up in his chest as his breath caught in his throat. Nervousness struck him momentarily. Was Matt going to suddenly shove him off the bed and kick him out once he realized it too?

However, Mail's anxiety didn't last for long. Matt lifted the atmosphere with another joke. The brunette lightly teased, "What's the matter, Jeevz? Afraid I'm gonna go pedo on ya?"

Matt's playful grin was reflected on Mail's face. "Yeah, because you're such a creeper."

"What'd you call me?"

"What are you tone deaf, Old Man? I think those cigarettes are already making you age past fifty!" This time, the joke came complete with a smile. Mail's heart was being uplifted, and the distress was finally dissolving away. Mail was starting to loosen up and become his old self again. Although there was still some sorrow in his heart, his mood was healing.

"Take that back!"

"Is that a wrinkle I see?"

"Hey! Show some respect to your elders!"

"I'm not going to bow down and worship dirt!"

A sly, toothy grin stretched across Matt's face. "You're gonna regret that," He snickered before latching an arm around Mail's neck, putting him in a headlock.

"Ack!"

As Mail tried to squirm out of the headlock, the arm around his neck only tightened. The two of them laughed as they began to wrestle with one another. It only took a second for the battle on the edge of the bed to break out into an all out war as the two of them rolled and fought on top of the futon. With brute strength going against brute strength, Mail could surprisingly enough hold his own weight.

Trying to flip, shove, pin, and unpin the other, they quickly became tangled in their wrestling match. Laughs and snickers filled the room as the two of them snapped teasing insults at one another. The moment that Mail had the upper hand, he leaped onto Matt's back and pinned him to bed. With Matt sprawled out horizontally across the bed, Mail lied flatly on his friend's back, creating a slight, plus sign against the bed. As Matt tried to blow some brown locks of hair out of his face, Mail flippantly flashed him a triumphant grin.

"I think you've just been served, Old Man!" Mail taunted.

Matt smirked. "Not quite."

A small squeak escaped Mail's lips as Matt suddenly jerked upward. Matt twisted around swiftly, shoving the stunned Mail off of him. Before Mail could retaliate, he was pinned flat on his back with Matt hovering over him. The younger brunette squirmed wildly, trying to free himself from the hold. However, it was too late. He had tensed up for too long, and now Matt had won their little, wrestling game. Mail's wrists were pinned back to the bed as he tried to wiggle out of the hold. A large, dorky grin spread on his face as he laughed. He was back to his normal, weird self again. All traces of sadness not to be found anymore.

Matt, who was leaning over top of the younger teen, smirked in victory. A laugh or two also escaped him as he internally declared himself the winner. Even further to prove this, Mail beneath him laughed, "Uncle! Uncle!"

Matt chuckled, "Oh, so I'm old enough to be your uncle now too?"

With a smile still on his face, Mail rolled his eyes. "You creeper."

As their laughs died down, the closeness of their positions became more apparent to Mail. Key lime green eyes blinked up at the brunette that hovered over him. Matt had straddled the teen's hips when Mail was pinned flat on his back. Each exhale fell heavily from the two of them as their bodies recovered from their wrestling around earlier. Mail's green eyes trailed down Matt's face to his parted lips. Quickly, Mail glanced away and felt his face heat up. No, his entire body already felt warmer. At this point, Mail couldn't tell if it was from the wrestling or from something else entirely.

Matt seemed to notice the quick change in atmosphere as well and eyed their current position cautiously. Forest green eyes stared down at the teen who lied powerless below him. Considering their current closeness, Matt could easily see the red pigment dusting Mail's cheeks. Although it almost seemed natural after considering the previous event, but Matt could feel the underlining of the situation that didn't fit with the scene at all. Instead of feeling uneasy about the details, he embraced them with curiosity.

Being both out of breath, neither of them spoke. Maybe they were just using fatigue as an excuse. Neither of them were truly so worn out to the point their bodies were about to collapse. Was it fear that sealed their lips close? Were they too afraid to voice what they thought was lingering between them? Was it terror? No, maybe they were afraid that the moment they addressed what was thought to be there, the moment would disappear like dust in the wind.

When Matt's eyes met Mail's, Mail found he couldn't look away. His heart was racing wildly in his chest as the two of them stared into each other. Fear chilled his body as if afraid that the second Matt looked into his eyes, he could read his thoughts. What were his thoughts anyway? What was it that even came over the two of them in the first place?

Mail bit his bottom lip as Matt's eyes finally broke contact. Curiously moving down Mail's body, Matt's eyes lingered at the other's waist. In the midst of their scuffling, their clothes had been ruffled. Now, one side of Mail's stripped shorts lied just a bit off his waist. Matt eyed Mail's hip bone that smoothly poked out from under his tawny skin. As Mail's eyes trailed down to where Matt was gazing, he felt his breath catch in his throat.

While squirming uncomfortably under Matt's gaze, Mail couldn't bare the silence any longer. If he didn't say anything, he felt his heart was going to implode in his chest. With his voice quivering, Mail apologized again. "I-I'm sorry. I-I...," Mail's voice trailed off as his mind refused to work properly enough for him to form legit sentences. Mail could feel Matt's eyes back on his face, but he refused to meet them.

However, when an amused chuckle rattled Matt's throat, Mail couldn't look away from Matt's face any longer. "I know," Matt responded humorously. "You've made it a point to apologize often. For what reason, I don't know, but you seem to say it anyway."

Although he tried not to, a wide, lopsided smile twitched its way onto Mail's face as he quickly glanced to the side again. He gave a small chuckle of his own in reply, but his tone quickly became more serious as he told Matt, "I can leave if you want me to."

Matt shifted on the bed, releasing Mail from his hold as he moved to lie down beside him. While grabbing his pillow that teetered on the edge of the futon bed, Matt half laughed and shook his head. "I said you could stay here, Jeevz." As Mail eyed him skeptically, Matt teased, "Gosh, what a drama queen."

Mail lightly laughed and punched Matt's arm. "Douche," he sneered, and just like that the atmosphere changed. As quick as the moment came, it disappeared again. There was no time for hellos, and no time for goodbyes. It just came and left with ease like a ghost through a playground. When you see it, you're forced to stop and stare. Since it's something so unusual to your everyday routines, no words can be formed. Then just like that, it's gone again, and you're left wondering if it was ever there at all.

It was there however. Mail was sure of it. As he and Matt pulled the blanket back onto the bed and wrapped themselves in it, his mind couldn't seem to stray away from what happened. After grabbing the other pillow that had been knocked to the floor and resting his head against it, Mail dwelled on that moment that disappeared from them. He didn't understand why it was affecting him like it was. Why was he still thinking about it? Was Matt thinking about it too? Did Matt even notice the moment at all or was this all one-sided? Perhaps it was something that would fade away into the night. Maybe the moment wouldn't be a moment at all the instant the sun rose over the horizon to greet them.

To the best of his ability, Mail tried to block out the thoughts and embraced the calmness of the bedroom around him. Lying on his side while Matt lied on his stomach, Mail curled up comfortably in the futon bed. Momentarily, Mail peered at the back of Matt's head. The older teen might already be sleeping, considering Matt was one of those heavy sleepers. As Mail's eyes slowly lidded, he mumbled out, "Matt?"

There was a long pause afterwords. Right before Mail was about to consider the other already asleep, Matt gave a muffled reply. "Hmm?"

"Thank you."

Drowsily, Matt teased, "You know, I half expected you to say you're sorry again."

"Yeah, yeah. Sweet dreams too you too, Jerkoff."

Mail tugged the blanket up close to his chin as his thoughts drifted off again. He was very glad to have Matt as a friend. Through all the drama that was going on between him and his mother, Matt had allowed Mail to stay at his house with him. He didn't want to abuse the hospitality, so he'd probably leave the moment he woke up, but he was thankful nonetheless. Through the darkness as Mail drifted off to sleep, a smile lightened his face.

Yay? Nay? Surprised to see a selfcest story from me? XD You probably shouldn't be too surprised though. There's many, many things in the world of fandom that I love. Selfcest happens to be one of those things. Haha. So, tell me what you think of this. I basically wrote it because my inner writer demanded that I have something completed. Lol.

Have a good spring break everybody!
-doesn't get a spring break- ; o ;
SO YOU BETTER HAVE ENOUGH FUN FOR THE TWO OF US!~ :D