a/n well, this is the first fanfic I wrote, so I hope it isn't too bad. I wrote it after I saw the first episodes of the second season with knowing how the series would continue. English is not my first language, so I hope I did alright with it. All mistakes are mine and I don't own anything, sadly. Enjoy!
Lost Hope
She was alone. Normally she didn't mind being alone, on the contrary she often welcomed the days and moments she was alone. When she had time to think and didn't need to mind others. Think about her life, work and all the things she had done in her long life.
Some things she wished she could have done differently. Some things she had to do and now wished she could just forget. And some things that brought her joy and wished she would never forget whatever else would happen in her life, so that they would keep her company on the dark days.
Today wasn't such a day. Today she was alone and desperately wished that there was a friend around, it didn't matter which friend would be here with her. To take her toughs from the hell she created in her mind.
Today, it even hurt worse to think about the good times, because those reminded her of the worst ones and all that she had lost. Today was the day she lost it all. Today was darkness with no light to come through and give her hope.
She had seen the broken bodies of those she cared about, those she had sworn to protect and those she loved, she had failed them all. Failed them in a way she could never undo, she would never see them again to make up for her mistake.
When the Cabal came they weren't prepared, the ones that didn't surrender were slaughtered. Those who did were put into cages and killed after being used for research. She hadn't been there at the time, which had been her savior or her curse as that was what she thought about it. Although she wished she could had traded places with them. That she could have saved anyone, instead of being the soul survivor of the Sanctuaries all over the world.
She had lost so much in her life that she wished she would just die, to be with them again. She wished she could let go, but she couldn't do that, she had to rebuild her work and help other Abnormals. She would start with only the knowledge she had and rebuild the Sanctuary network from the ground in the hope. And that one day the Abnormals would be free, that the Cabal would be gone.
Maybe then she would be free to join them in their eternal journey behind the stars. But first she would rebuild, even if it would take her decades or centuries. To make sure their deaths wouldn't be in vain and to honor their lives, even if she didn't have the right to do that since she had failed them.