My first TotA fanfic ever with my favorite yaoi pairing (as well as my favorite pairing of all time)! I hope you all enjoy it! One of my friends who helped edit this (against his will of course!) commented on it being so angsty it burned his eyes. He was kind of joking but there was a lot of truth to it too. I just hope it doesn't burn other peoples' eyes! I couldn't help but take a scene and some of the dialog from the game (it's from an event you can catch or miss in Belkend sometime during the game, I just can't remember when, but you can either choose to follow Guy or not) and then twist it into something else. Needless to say it took on a life of it's own.
Disclaimer: As much as I wish I owned Tales of the Abyss, I simply don't. I own nothing, hence why I make fanfiction.
It had been risky, following Guy and eavesdropping on him and Van in the alley near the research lab in Belkend, but Luke went ahead and did so anyway. He wasn't proud of it. Hell, it even made him a little sick of himself, which was a more common thought nowadays ever since Akzeriuth.
More importantly at the moment the red head had to calm his breathing and pretend to sleep. As Luke walked into the room he and his friends had rented at Belkend's inn he took one final deep breath to calm his nerves somewhat before walking over to his bed and laying down. Guy was going to walk in sooner or later so he had to make it convincing or even, if at all possible, go to sleep right away.
Sleep never came. Of course no one could fall asleep in thirty or so seconds. Luke was so deep in thought time seemed to be agonizingly slow as his thoughts centered around one thing: Guy.
"I trust him. I really do. It's just…" the red head thought. "I never thought, let alone dreamed, that I caused Guy so much grief just by existing. What if he grows distant? No… he would've left a long time ago or killed me if that were the case. Damn it! I trust him! I guess I'm not sure if he trusts me…I mean, until recently I've been a total ass…"
The sudden sound of nearing footsteps and the door opening and closing pulled Luke away from his thoughts yet he dare not move from his current position at all. For the first time the room echoed silence although it had always been quiet from the start- minus the noises the fon machines outside made.
"I'm back…" a familiar voice called. Obviously it was Guy just by his greeting. "Hey, you already asleep? It's still light out you know."
The red head continued to fake sleeping, breathing normally, but his heart was racing contrary to his externally calm state. He really hated lying to his best friend, he felt guilty enough as it was. One nightmare per night was enough.
"… Luke," Guy spoke again, "I've put my past behind me. I won't be lured by Van's words anymore. Thanks for trusting me."
That last part hit Luke particularly hard.
"Man, I feel bad now…" the red head thought as needles of guilt sank into his skin. He couldn't help but curl up tighter into himself with as little movement as possible. As if on cue Guy spoke up once again and said, "By the way I knew you were eavesdropping. If you're pretending to sleep, you can stop now."
Luke felt like his heart was being squeezed by all of his fears and anxieties as he sat up against the headboard with his legs slightly set apart from each other and an arm hanging off a knee as his other arm helped hold him up. He looked to the blonde near the door with saddened emerald colored eyes already pleading for forgiveness.
"I… I'm sorry…" the red head apologized as he choked back any incoming tears. Guy didn't notice that he felt worse than he looked. "I… it's not that I didn't trust you…"
Luke hung his head low as he tried to figure out what more to say when Guy cheered, "Hah hah. It's okay. Sorry for worrying you."
The red head shifted his gaze off to the side still barely getting a grip on his emotions. Pressure built up in his chest as he thought about what his best friend had said.
"Luke?" Guy asked trying to get the red head's attention. When said red head slowly looked up he saw the blonde's concerned expression.
"Don't look at me like that… it makes me sad…" Luke thought as he gazed into his friend's brilliant blue pools feeling another sharp knife of guilt wedge itself into his chest.
"You shouldn't say sorry, it's not your fault," he choked.
Guy let out an audible sigh before saying, "C'mon, we've been through this. You don't need to be down on yourself all the time."
Luke again hung his head as if to try to hide himself behind his hair. His eyes were squeezed shut because they burned from the salty tears demanding to fall out. He shifted around on the bed until he sat up with his legs hanging off the side. The red head's emotions were beyond controllable. Just as he was about to lose it he felt the bed dip beside him and a hand repeatedly ran soothingly up and down his back in a comforting manner. Obviously Guy was trying to help calm him down. It helped a little, but still didn't stop the tears in his eyes to brim over and run down his cheeks when he finally opened his eyes to look at the blonde.
Luke didn't want to let his friend see him cry. This wasn't like himself; then again, it was he himself who said earlier that he didn't know himself anymore or that he even had a self to begin with. But it always remained that he was too much of something, whether it be too happy, too sad, too angry, too trusting, too repentant… just too anything.
"Stop feeling so bad, it doesn't suit you," Guy continued after the long pause. "You didn't do anything wrong, you were just a little scared. I understand."
Just when the red head felt somewhat composed pressure built up in his chest once more as his feelings buzzed around in disarray. He wanted to hold on to something he had to. His fists clenched the fabric of his pants as he looked down at the floor one moment, when he found himself hugging his friend's arm with his head resting on said friend's shoulder the next. He looked for something, anything to say but he could only come up with a partly cliché response of, "So you're not mad at me? Eavesdropping is still bad though…"
Luke then felt Guy pull him up into a full embrace when the blonde said, "Quit being so depressed. You look a lot better smiling."
Emerald green eyes brightened as they gazed into cerulean ones, a shy genuine smile gracing the red head's lips. As if it were contagious, Guy smiled too. After a while the two blushed, realizing how long they sat and stared at each other, let alone how long they held each other. They didn't move though, they were comfortable where they were, although they did move from the side of the bed to laying down on the pillows together as Luke nuzzled his head underneath Guy's chin actually feeling sleepy this time, probably from getting stressed out earlier. The blonde seemed a little embarrassed by the affection and contact but welcomed it warmly. Luke in all honesty thought it was cute- no. Adorable? Hell no! He really didn't have a word for it, but something about Guy being this way made him happy…
…But Guy would have to say that Luke was being all kinds of adorable right now, with all his blushing and cuddling.
He'll have to tell him later…With half lidded eyes Luke gazed up at Guy and flashed a sleepy, goofy grin to the blonde. Said blonde looked down at the tired red head and asked, "Are you okay now?"
"Yeah, thanks Guy," Luke happily answered.
"Well I guess I should go to my own bed-"
"No."
The quick response and suddenly tight grip surprised Guy. The red head proceeded to stare up at the blonde with begging eyes.
"Just a little bit longer?" asked Luke.
"Only for a little bit," Guy agreed. Luke seemed to climb up closer to Guy's face as if he weren't close enough as it was at the blonde's response in a fit of happiness. They found themselves staring at each other once again; they could feel the other's breath on their faces. It was hard to tell, but did their faces start getting closer? Their noses touched lightly when Anise burst through the door screaming, "Just make out already!"
Taking notice of the shocked stares she was getting Anise giggled nervously, "Oh. Uh, sorry. Don't mind me! G-go ahead and get back to what you two were doing, whatever that was!"
"Anise," Jade's voice teased from outside the room, "You know it's not polite to spy on people for your own gratification."
Guy and Luke could even hear Tear sighing and Natalia giggling in the background as Anise was dragged away from the door by Jade who shut the door to give the blonde and the red head some privacy.
"Well that was embarrassing," Guy humorously sighed as he scratched the back of his head in a nervous habit. Luke on the other hand seemed to be deep in thought about something, like he had an idea. He then picked himself up and looked down at Guy with a smirk.
"Luke, why are you looking at me like that? Luke?"