Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Rating: T, because I'm playing it safe. It's barely T though, honestly.
xxxx
She came to him in a tangle of coats and flyaway scarves, huffing and puffing out of the floo and looking like a murderous, fire spitting, green eyed dragon. Her eyes darted around the room like a caged animal and Remus felt himself shrink inward protectively at the fury in her gaze. When Lily was enraged she never ceased to make him feel like a neutered puppy.
Collecting himself, he stood from behind the desk and straightened his robes purposefully. He smiled politely at her, "Lily, to what do I owe the pleasure of your-"
She held up a shaking hand, "Don't bother with pleasantry's Lupin," she growled. Remus gulped, "Where. Is. He"
Remus blanked, legitimately confused, "What're you talking about Lil?"
Maybe it was the use of his familiar nickname for her, but she seemed to calm somewhat. It did not, however, lessen her suspicion, "James. I know that flea ridden mutt of yours is hiding him and since neither of them are at your flat I assumed you had something to do with their mysterious disappearance"
Remus blinked, "Why were you at my flat?"
Lily rolled her eyes, suitably annoyed instead of angry now. She waved her hand in front of his face, "Focus Rem!" She snapped, "The point. I need you to get there quicker!"
He scowled, pushing her hand away from his face, "Just slow down for a minute and tell me what happened," He leant against his desk and gestured to the seat in front of him. She hesitated, obviously too caught up in restless emotions to be still for even a moment. He sighed and walked around to sit behind his desk, "I can't help if I don't know what happened"
Ever the logical witch, Lily seemed to grudgingly concede to his point and took the seat gratefully and Remus was suddenly aware of the previously unnoticed fatigue in her features. She sighed when she sat in what was obviously relief and rubbed her neck balefully, her features dark and somewhere distant. Remus cleared his throat softly to gain her attention. At his enquiring gaze she sighed again and shifted to give him her undivided attention.
"James and I kind of had a fight last night," She said, twiddling her fingers in what Remus recognised as worry, "I told him something, he couldn't handle it and he ran out. I haven't heard from him since"
Remus frowned, "What did you tell him?"
She paused, looked at him from under her lashes and bit her lip, "I told him I was pregnant Rem"
His breath stuttered and his eyes widened. Two heartbeats passed, then three. Finally, a wide grin broke over his face and he laughed merrily, moving around the desk suddenly to sweep a surprised and laughing Lily off her feet and into a warm embrace. She smiled gratefully and clung to him, "That's amazing news Lily, Congratulations!"
She snuffled a little but continued to smile at him, infinitely grateful for his reaction, "I just wished James thought so…" She trailed off. Suddenly her anger made sense to Remus. So did her hurt.
Anger coiled like a serpent, tight and deep in his stomach and he hissed aloud, "That bastard"
Lily looked surprised, "Rem…"
He stepped out of her embrace and ran a hand through his hair. How could James do that to her? He loved James like family, honestly he did, but he felt the same way about Lily. Except she was more like his little sister and right now he felt very much like the over protective big brother who wanted nothing more than to pound James into the ground for hurting her and generally being an irresponsible, thoughtless tool. Setting his jaw, he made up his mind. That selfish git was going to pay. And Sirius, he couldn't wait to get his hands on that sorry excuse for an animagus. He couldn't believe he'd enabled James' idiocy. Knowing that daft dog he'd probably encouraged it, initiated it even. Feeling suddenly guilty that he hadn't been home that morning to stop this act of infinite lunacy from ever occurring, Remus sighed and rubbed a hand over his face in frustration. Stupid bloody exams keeping him at the office all night. Now he had this to deal with.
"Remus?" Lily tried again, looking truly worried now.
Remus smiled down at her and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "I'm fine Lil, but I do have a proposition for you"
She was immediately attentive. Having worked together as head boy and girl not three years ago, they knew to trust each other's plans and propositions. They very rarely led each other astray.
"I want you to go home," She made to argue, but he held up a hand to silence her, in much the same way he did with his defence class when they got too rowdy. She looked apprehensive, but shut her mouth all the same, "I have a better chance of finding them than you do. I know all their usual haunts and even some of the unusual ones. If anyone's to find those two, it's me. Besides, you shouldn't be getting too worked up in your condition. It could be dangerous for the baby"
Lily looked torn between agreeing and giving Remus a piece of her mind for insinuating she was weak, but she obviously thought better of it. She smiled gratefully at him, "Oh alright" she sighed, rubbing her back almost subconsciously, "You're probably right"
He smiled warmly, "Go home and rest Lily. I promise to bring him back safe and sound and clean"
She laughed, the sound infinitely lighter than before, "Give him and that mutt of you're a swift kick up the arse for me okay?"
Remus smiled grimly, his anger having remained undiminished, "You can count on that"
Lily smiled at him gratefully and grabbed a small handful of floo powder, "Thank you Rem. I mean it, for everything. I'm lucky to have such a great friend"
He waved her compliment off, but his eyes were bright with gratitude, "My pleasure Lil, I'll drop by for tea and news later alright? Just get some rest for now and promise not to get yourself too worked up"
Her laughter rang clear as a bell throughout the office for a moment even after she had left in a burst of green flames.
After she had gone Remus let his hands curl into fists at his sides and he cracked his neck deftly. His eyes narrowed into slits as he looked into the roaring flames that were now a bright orange again.
Right.
He affirmed his resolve and moved purposefully towards the flames not a minute after his friend. Stepping into them and taking a handful of powder he spoke clearly and articulately, voice shaking with repressed rage, "The Leaky Cauldron"
If he knew James and Sirius it was the best place to start the hunt.
xxxx
Peter Pettigrew sat alone in the bar and stared moodily into his firewhiskey. He was somewhat miffed at being ditched by James and Sirius. It was fine when he had that fine witch on his arm, but she'd nicked of half an hour ago to go to the loo and hadn't come back. He was used to being ditched, but it still hurt every time. Especially when he didn't have his mates there to pick him back up and push him towards some other bird he didn't have a chance with.
He snorted, bloody idiots.
They'd pissed off to some pub whose name he couldn't pronounce in Knockturn Alley. They'd mentioned the place and he hadn't wanted to go, having just spent a good eight hours drinking and laughing with the two of them, the last thing he wanted to do was ruin his streak of good humour by walking into that good damn dark wizard trap. He honestly did not understand what appeal Knockturn alley had for two off duty aurors and he hadn't pretended too at the time. So when the two of them had pissed off with little more than an over the shoulder, "see you later Wormy!" he'd just ordered another firewhiskey and put it on Sirius' tab. He continued to do so well into mid-morning. Serves the stupid blighter right for not closing it.
It was eleven o'clock on a Tuesday and the Leaky Cauldron was relatively empty. So it made sense that when the door slammed open so hard it rattled on its hinges, a startled and relatively drunk Peter tottered on his stool and turned around in as coordinated a fashion as possible for his level of inebriation.
Remus was the last person he expected to see and in a more lucid state of mind, the sight of the snarling, spitting werewolf would have made him cower. Right now however, he was over joyed to see his fellow marauder, regardless of said marauders mood and societal inclinations, "Moony!" He cried, overjoyed and he stumbled blearily off the stool to get to him.
Remus looked surprised for a moment and more than a little taken aback, but still managed to catch a blustering Peter as he toppled forwards from the bar and into his arms. Muttering quietly to himself about drunk rats, he deposited Peter onto one of the couches near the door with as much grace as possible.
Ah, beautiful, perfect Moony. He was a good friend.
Peter sighed gratefully and buried his face into a large fluffy orange cushion, "Thanks Moony! You're the most awesomest friend ever, not like bloody Pads and Prongs…" he trailed off, muttering unintelligible things under his breath.
When he came to after a minute and realised Moony was talking to him, he tried really hard to listen and eventually caught up to the words he was speaking.
"…where they went?" The werewolf finished, looking at him expectantly.
He blinked, "What?"
Moony growled, low and menacing and this time Peter did shudder. He didn't want to be eaten! "Peter," he began, voice deceptively calm, "Where. Are. James. And. Sirius?"
"Oh!" He exclaimed giddily, he knew the answer to this question. Moony definitely wouldn't eat him now, "They went to the door-knocking alley place bar!"
Moony looked at him blankly, "The what?"
Peter sighed dramatically, "You know!" Moony obviously didn't know because he was still looking at him blankly, "the place where if you knock they turn you into a dark wizard?!"
Peter laughed merrily, fully expecting Moony to join in. That joke was hilarious. He could hardly believe he'd come up with it himself ten seconds ago!
But Moony wasn't laughing, in fact he was the opposite of laughing and if Peter knew Moony as well as he thought he did (he did), then the werewolf was definitely seething.
He sobered up quickly under his burning gaze and gulped, "Knockturn Alley. They ditched me and this fit bird that also ditched me to go to this dark wizards pub there"
Moony's expression was stormy and Peter knew him well enough not to pry, but was still kind of worried. He didn't want him getting hurt.
"Be careful Moony; don't get turned to the dark side"
He said it seriously and watched in bemusement as Moony's lips twitched and he finally gave into the grin that had been threatening to bloom onto his face. He chuckled into his palm and walked away shaking his head, "Thanks for the heads up Wormy". He laughed.
Peter watch in bemusement as he disappeared into the bright green flames of the Leaky Cauldron fireplace, wondering how in merlin's name that had been funny.
xxxx
Remus looked up dubiously at the creaking wooden sign above the dingy pub. The sign wasn't even in English. He was fairly certain it was in Aramaic actually. He finally understood why he couldn't get the name of the pub out of Peter. If he couldn't pronounce it sober, then the blonde definitely wouldn't have been able to do it as drunk as he was. He smirked, and he hadbeen gloriously, stupendously, hammered.
He stepped deftly out of the way of a couple of suspect looking wizards as they tumbled out of the pub in what was apparently a very enthusiastic fist fight. Remus blinked in confusion, what had that been about.
That's when he heard it.
The muffled sound of grunting and dull thuds coming from inside.
He resisted the urge to put his head in his hands and groan, or more appropriately bang it into the wall until this whole bloody mess became nothing more than a horrible, horrible dream.
There was obviously a fight going on and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that, somehow, James and Sirius were responsible for it.
Taking a deep breath to compose himself and to reign in his rage which, having been momentarily tempered by an amusing Wormtail, was back in full force. He straightened his robes and put on his best 'prefect face' as Sirius used to call it. It was now better known as his 'teacher face', but the effect was much the same. If he was going to break this up, which he undoubtedly would have to, it would do him no good to lose his head until they were out of there. Then he could take them back to the flat and rip into them as much as he liked. He smiled a little at the thought. It was more than a little masochistic, but it did quell him blood lust some.
He squared his shoulders, right. There was no time like the present.
He pushed the doors open and had to work hard to suppress his rage upon the sight that greeted him.
They would both die for this.
xxxx
Sirius groaned as the beefy wizard's right hook hit him straight in the jaw. He fell backwards into the table and hissed as it collapsed under the combined force of the punch and his weight. He rubbed his jaw gingerly and watched with growing trepidation as the man advanced upon him menacingly.
This was not the way it was supposed to turn out.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw James knock out the gangly wizard he'd been fighting and was immediately set upon by another shorter, fatter wizard in periwinkle robes that would have been funny if he hadn't been clawing at his best mates face and hollering like a banshee.
He would never ever make fun of exotic robes salesmen again. Especially when they were built like a brick shit house.
When he and James had got to the bar they couldn't pronounce, in a language they didn't know they had thought of it like a kind of adventure. They were obviously very inebriated at the time.
Said inebriation had obviously been punched out of them since then.
They had gotten to the bar and order two shots of the most exotic liquor on the menu which happened to be the Dragon's Bane fire-breather cocktail of Panama. Apparently, as they'd later learned from a group of periwinkle robe clad men; it was made from the actual breathed fire of the Hungarian Horntail and was one of the rarest drinks in the world.
Sirius thought it had tasted like Goblin piss, but didn't want to offend their new friends. But because he was Sirius Black, despite his intentions to remain on civil terms with the oddly dressed foreigners, he stuffed it up royally anyway.
Apparently, he had learned, these men were traveling exotic robe salesmen and dealt in all manner of exotic dress-ware: from the more commonly found flobberworn fringed polyester robes to the infinitely harder to obtain basilisk-skinned hats and hosiery.
Sirius really didn't want to know why the thought of snake skin down there was appealing to some women. They were probably slimy Slytherins bints anyway.
Conversation had eventually arrived at its natural conclusion, Sirius thought, when James brought up the pink robes. It was natural to question their dubious choice of uniform, wasn't it? The majority of people would have asked them about it. The majority of people wouldn't have, however, remarked in a state of unbelievable stupidity that the robes made them look like, "A roving band of nancy shirt-lifters".
James had looked at him in horror and Sirius had tried to respond that he hadn't meant it as an insult and that he was, in fact, a nancy shirt-lifter himself as was evidenced by the frequent anal sex he had with his live-in boyfriend. He never did get the chance. Before he knew it the fat one had punched him in the face so hard he couldn't see straight let alone think straight long enough to articulate this.
So twenty minutes and a fair few knockouts later, Sirius was at his wits end and ready to throw in the towel. The man advancing on him wanted his blood all over his fruity pink robes and if he didn't figure a way out of this mess, he was going to get it.
When the doors of the pub flew open and the man was momentarily blinded Sirius took the opportunity to grab the detached leg of the broken table he was lying on and whack the man soundly over the head with it. He groaned and fell to the floor, out cold.
Sirius turned to grin at James in triumph, but found he was looking white faced and terrified behind him. Sirius was confused for a moment until her heard the smooth polite baritone conversing with the pub owner who had, up until this time, been hiding behind the bar.
He'd know that voice anywhere.
It was precisely why he was oh so very reluctant to turn around.
He should have let the man in the pink robes beat him to death. It would have been a much better way to go.
He met James' eyes and saw the unadulterated fear he felt reflected in his best friends gaze. He saw his friend's hazel eyes widen a fraction, before Sirius felt a familiar presence come up behind him.
He gulped, maybe if he remained very still and didn't make a sound he wouldn't see him. It seemed to work with charging Elephants, why not an enraged boyfriend?
A throat cleared behind him and he didn't need to turn around to feel the waves of fury coming off of his boyfriend.
"Sirius Black you are in so much trouble"
xxxx
James Potter kept his eyes downcast as Remus raked his gaze over the two of them.
They had just gotten back to the flat and Remus, after paying for the damages at the pub, was eerily silent. James didn't take that for a second to mean he wasn't angry. The thing about Remus was that when he was angry it was a quiet fury that permeated into your bones rather than a screaming rage that pelted you over and over. It was subtle, but no less intimidating. He wasn't too proud to admit he was scared of the werewolf. He was, however, too proud to admit it out loud, so he stayed silent and waited for him to make the first move.
Remus drew in a long breath and he felt Sirius stiffen beside him.
"Do you know who I saw in my office this morning?"
The question was posed innocently enough, but there was a quiet anger thinly-veiled under his words and James couldn't find it within himself to answer. Sirius said nothing. He didn't even look like he was breathing.
Remus looked mock-surprised, "No guesses? Alright then" he stopped to stare at James and the glasses-clad man felt Remus' gaze burn into his forehead. He still didn't look up, "The lovely Miss Lily Evans of course. Always a pleasure and she was quite a sight too. She was completely furious at you James, for leaving her like that after your little talk"
James winced and Remus stepped closer to him, his words holding a gravity he didn't understand, "Then we talked for a bit and after that she was mostly just hurt you didn't care enough to stick around for your child"
Remus spat the words like acid and they cut him like knives, guilt welling deep in his belly. He felt Sirius look at him sharply. Apparently hearing the story from Remus' perspective threw the situation into a new light that he didn't appreciate. For a moment he felt oddly betrayed, but it passed quickly and was replaced even quicker with a hot shame that nearly brought him to tears with its intensity.
Remus continued, his anger reaching its peak now, "How could you do this to her James? She obviously didn't ask for this to happen, so you punishing her by going out on the town with Sirius and drinking yourself into a stupor while she worried herself sick seems to me like the lowest blow you could possibly deliver to anyone, let alone your pregnant future wife!"
James was nearly in tears when Remus grabbed him by the collar and hauled him towards him so he was forced to meet the werewolf's livid gaze. He was vibrating with rage, but deeper than that he could see the disappointment in Moony's eyes and that cut deeper than his rage ever could, "I want you to know James Potter that if you weren't already beaten within an inch of your life I would have gotten you to that point myself for what you have done to Lily," He eyes positively flamed and James' heartbeat was loud in his ears, "and if you ever hurt her like that again I will take it upon myself to make sure you never so much as look at her or your child the wrong way again"
James felt a terror unlike anything he had ever felt before seize him and from the look in Remus' eyes he had no doubt he would make good on his promise. The werewolf paused for a moment to glare at him meaningfully, "They will need a strong man to take care of them James- someone willing to give their life to protect them. Not a petty little boy who runs away at the first sign of difficulty. Now can you be that man James Potter, or do I have to make good on my threat?" Remus growled, hoisting him up so they were nose to nose and James was literally off his feet.
James finally found his voice.
"I can. I promise I can Remus, just give me a chance, please!" Gasping a little as he clawed for air around the collar, Remus seemed somewhat placated, but not at all finished. He dropped James to the ground unceremoniously and he gulped in the air greedily.
"And you" Moony snarled at a white faced Sirius, "What the hell were you thinking dragging James along on a twenty-four hour bar hopping expedition while his pregnant fiancée sat at home worrying herself to pieces about him, huh?!"
Padfoot refused to meet his eyes and James stood gingerly as Moony advanced on him, ready to intervene if necessary. He would be that new man, that new James that he needed to be starting now. He would be there for Lily and the baby no matter what. He would be the type of man who would die to protect his family. He wouldn't let his friends down; he wouldn't let his family down.
He would be someone they could be proud of again.
"No, I'll tell you what, you weren't thinking were you Sirius? You never do. It's always about you doing what you want and damning the consequences. Well guess what Sirius if I hadn't come in when I had one of you might have died. How's that for consequences huh?" he grabbed Sirius roughly by the arm and jerked his face up to meet his, "aren't they the type of consequences worth thinking about?"
It took James a moment to realise Sirius was crying, "I know, I know. I'm so sorry Moony" Sirius hung his head, "I'm so sorry"
Padfoot must have been a right sorry sight from where he was hiding under his hair because Remus sighed and moved back a step, releasing the poor mutt who only seemed to collapse in on himself more without the support. He looked over at James, "Go have a shower and get cleaned up James. Lily is expecting you and I promised to deliver you clean if I remember correctly"
Remus nodded to him, eyes wary and measuring and James realised it was as good as he was going to get from Remus, at least until he was back in Lily's good graces. He moved off into the bathroom to clean himself off.
He pretended not to notice Padfoot crumple to the ground behind him.
xxxx
Sirius shook with the force of his silent sobs and Remus ached with the pain he'd caused. Not that he didn't deserve it, but it was still hard to see him like this, so wrapped up in a grief that he had caused. He had never wanted to cause Sirius pain and when the man in question wrapped his arms around himself and bowed his head so far is was almost touching his knees, Remus caved. With a distressed sound in the back of his throat, he knelt down and cupped Padfoot's wet cheek tenderly.
When he didn't look up of his own volition, Remus turned his face up as gently as possible and met his gaze as warmly as he could manage. He must have done alright because Sirius sighed in obvious relief and moved into the embrace at the same time that Remus drew him into it. He wrapped him up in his arms gently and just held him until the tears dried on his cheeks and his breathing evened out. When, a little while later, it turned out he was asleep, Remus just smiled and carried him to their bedroom. He laid him down on the bed and began to gingerly treat the sleeping man's wounds. A few basic and more complicated healing charms later, courtesy of his many years as a werewolf, Sirius looked as good as new- save for a few small freshly healed cuts along his arms where the glass had gotten him deeper than he expected.
Brushing his dark hair out of his face and running his thumb across his cheek bone reverently, Remus smiled. He bent down to kiss his forehead gently and was grateful when he didn't stir, "Love you Pads" he murmured, eyes soft, "always and forever"
He felt James come and stand beside him and he looked over expectantly. James was looking at him like he'd just discovered something profound, "What?"
James smiled knowingly and more than a little wonderingly, "You're that man aren't you? The one that would die for those he loved."
It wasn't a question, but Remus still nodded, "I try to be, every day. I would die for any of you"
The unspoken, I would die for Sirius, was there and Remus didn't need to say it to know he understood. He knew, deep down, that James felt the same way about Lily. It was just a matter of him seeing it within himself.
"I never knew how much you cared about him, about us. Well I knew but I-"
Remus cut him off, "I'm not sorry I yelled Prongs. When you care about someone as much as I care about you and Lily, as much as I care about Sirius there's a flip side to that much passion that needs to be indulged in when the situation arises. If I didn't love you two so much, I wouldn't have yelled"
James stared at him, somewhat in awe and then smiled, "I think I'm beginning to understand what you mean. Thanks Moony, for everything"
Remus nodded and smiled at James for the first time that day, "See that you do understand Mr Potter and you're very welcome" he said in his very best 'professor voice'.
James laughed quietly, still mindful of the sleeping Sirius, "I'll see you later Moony, in this life or the next depending on how forgiving Lily's feeling" He winked and flooed away. Remus chortled to himself and for the first time since Lily came into his office that morning, he felt contentment deep in his bones.
Arms wrapped around him from behind and a chin propped up against his shoulder. Remus smiled, "Aren't you supposed to be asleep?"
Sirius laughed throatily, "Funny thing about sleep, it's usually interrupted by strange men kissing you on the forehead"
Remus turned in his embrace and cocked an eyebrow, "Would you have preferred the strange man not kissed you at all?"
Sirius pretended to consider this, "Hm, well, all things considered I suppose being kissed on the forehead is marginallybetter than not being kissed at all," He smirked, "marginally"
Remus made a small considering noise in the back of his throat, "I'm not sure marginally will do Mr Black" He licked his lips, "we may have to come to another arrangement as to how you can be kissed to your satisfaction"
Sirius smiled, leaning in to press their foreheads together, "I can think of a few ways"
He kissed him soundly and Remus sighed contently as Sirius pulled him flush against him and wound his arms around his waist to keep him steady.
"I'm that man too you know" Sirius said against his lips and for a moment Remus was confused and then he saw the look in his eyes and he wasn't anymore.
"Are you?" he whispered, genuinely curious and wonderfully hopeful. Sirius had always been a little bit of a wild card, always doing what he wanted and never really committing. For him to say something like this was huge and more than a little unsettling.
Sirius seemed to sense his reluctance to believe his words, because he cupped his jaw firmly and looked Remus straight in the eye, so close they were sharing the same breath, "I love you so much sometimes it physically hurts that I can never do something big enough to show how much I care about you. I feel like my chest is going to explode sometimes you fill me up with so much love. I would do anything for you Remus. I would rather die than betray you or my friends. I would die for you Remus Lupin," He then wiped the tears that had begun to run silently down the werewolf's cheek, "I am that man, your man, always and forever"
Remus kissed him then, hard and unyielding and Sirius yielded because he knew Remus needed to show his gratitude and Sirius needed to be taken care of just as much. To be shown that his admission was understood and reciprocated.
They made love that night, slow and tender in a way they'd never done before. They moved together well into the early hours of the morning and when they finally fell asleep it was to sleepy promises, whispered endearments and their heartbeats strong and stable under their ears.
When Lily flooed over the next morning, grinning and holding two wedding invitation triumphantly and saw them in bed together she smiled adoringly and left the invitations on the kitchen bench, near the tea where she knew Remus would find them later.
She left again, in a tangle of overlong coats and scarves, her eyes alight with happiness- a stronger, more potent emotion than fury could ever hope to be.
From his position tucked into his lover's chin, Remus did not stir.
xxxx
AN: I couldn't get this out of my head. The idea that James was young and couldn't have possibly reacted perfectly to the news of Lily's pregnancy got me thinking and of course it turned into wolfstar… it always does. Not that I'm complaining
Hope you enjoyed, Read and Review!