Okay, my first Rent fanfiction, and I want it to be a good one. This is just a small drabble/one-shot told in Gordon's POV, Gordon's one of the dudes from the life support meeting.
Disclaimer: I don't own Rent, 'nuff said.
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Really it was rational to be fearful. But at the same time it was irrational.
Fear is all I have really known, it's my life. For me a life without fear would be, too perfect, like walking down a hallway with doors every two feet and not knowing what could come out of them. But life with fear is like walking a tightrope. There's always that feeling, that knowing, that any second you could fall, and not get back up. That there's nothing solid under your feet, like you're about to fall though the floor.
The irrational side of it was that I could now live my life to the fullest of my capabilities knowing that my time is limited. And there were people who shared my feelings, who knew what I was going through, and were even going through it also. That also made it irrational to be afraid, because I would have people waiting for me on the other side, and I would be waiting for people too.
It was a complex feeling, knowing that you'll die sooner than other people, and wishing that they would join you soon so you wouldn't be lonely. It made me feel as though I was being unfair, as though I should wish that they'd live a longer life than I, instead of joining me before their time.
Does that make be a bad person?
I want to think that I'm not, that I can die free of all sins and with no unfinished business. But, we're all human, and one very common human emotion is fear.
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I hope you all liked it and I might write another one of these, but don't hold your breath. I just watched The Phantom of the Opera 2004 movie version, so my mind is elsewhere. Please review and try to be nice about it!