-1Out Of Place
Gwen said 'Me' when Jack asked her what he had to stay for. She didn't realised how much he loved her, he loved her like he had loved Tosh and Owen. She didn't realise that part of the reason he was going was to protect her. It was a small part, most of his reasons he thought were selfish. he had caused the death of so many people, it was safer for Gwen for him not to be there.
Steven. His beautiful girl's baby boy. He couldn't get his face out of his head. His beautiful blond hair, and his deep blue eyes - eyes he had got from Jack - his innocent face looking so confused and scared. Terrified. 'Young Jack what's going on?' he couldn't even look at Steven as he asked that. He knew if he had looked at Steven he wouldn't have been able to do it. He looked at the keys, and set it in motion. But as soon as Steven started screaming Jack couldn't look away. He had the sound of Steven's scream stuck in head still now. He wished more than anything that he could take back that moment. He knew Alice would never forgive him and he also knew he didn't deserve forgiveness. He had been wrong, he didn't know what else he could've done, but he shouldn't have killed his daughter's son. His little shoulder, Jack wished now that he had done what Alice wanted in the first place and just stayed away. At least then Steven would still be alive.
Ianto. He had never told Ianto how he felt. At the beginning of the worst five days in Jack's life, Ianto had been nervous and wary of the word 'couple'. Jack hated that word, it made people think they knew so much when they barely knew anything. Now though, he would've loved for Ianto to be with him, as his partner. As a couple. He had never told Ianto he loved him. Because he did, he truly did love Ianto. He had been scared to admit it, even as Ianto lay, dying in his arms. He loved him and he wanted him back. Ianto was another image Jack couldn't get out of his head. Him lying there, trying to be strong, trying to get his words out. 'It was good' Ianto had said. It was a hell of a lot more than good, but it was too short. 'A thousand years, you won't remember me'. The idea of living a thousand more years was barely worth thinking about for Jack. He hated life, he didn't want it to never end. He knew for definitely, though, that he would never forget Ianto. He'd never replace Ianto.
Those five days had left Jack scared. More scared than he had ever been, because this time it wasn't some monster or alien that he could get rid of. This time it was inside, it was psychological. He was scared to get close to anyone again. He was scared of hurting them. Scared of losing them. And most of all, he was scared of death. In any other situation it would've been funny, but it wasn't. He was immortal, he couldn't die and his biggest fear was death. Because death was the one thing he couldn't fight. He was the one and only person always being dragged back from it. It was death that had left him so out of place.