title: Five Conversations Hikaru and Akira Never Had
fandom: Hikaru no Go
pairing: Hikaru/Akira
rating: work safe
disclaimer: This is a piece of fanfiction. No profit was gained from its creation.
a/n: originally written 12/29/06
"Shindou, Waya-san might not have been wholly wrong."
"I'm not fat."
"It's the result of your diet. As I've said countless times, ramen--"
"I'm just insulated."
"Insulated. With fat."
"Yeah, well. I'm eating for two now, okay?"
"What, you and your title?"
"Maybe! Now move, I have a craving for Cup Noddle."
"Weekly Go was right. You are turning into Kurata!"
"Shh! You'll wake Honinbou-kun."
"There. THERE! Do you see that?"
"Hikaru, I don't see anything besides your scalp."
"Exactly! Scalp. It's official. I'm getting old."
"Being in your fifties is hardly old. Consider my father."
"It's arbitrary; my father was ancient at birth. Actually, this is probably his fault. Baldness is hereditary, right? It comes from your father or your cousin's grandmother or something like that?"
"More likely, your hair is thinning from all those chemicals. If you must blame something, blame bleach."
"My manga collection has nothing to do with this, okay? And if you throw out my Shounen Jump phone books again, I'll set fire to all your argyle."
"No."
"It is very common these days. A lot of couples go to therapy."
"We don't."
"Not yet. But I think we should."
"I'm not crazy!"
"For the relationship to last, we have to put more effort into the foundation."
"Are you calling my mid-game sloppy?!"
"I'm calling you an uncommunicative, thoughtless prick!"
"That's it! We're going to the therapy! And I better get to beat you with one of those pillow things!"
"God, you are a complete retard, aren't you?"
"Do you ever think about death, Shindou?"
"Ha! You have no idea."
"Yes, well. That would be why I in- inqu- asked."
"You're smashed aren't you?"
"Might be a little."
"Me too. And it'll be horrible and awesome. And epic. And something else."
"Death?"
"But the best part will be the crazy, big hats."
"Y' mean halos?"
"Oh, and possessing people. I hope I don't get stuck with something lame."
"Shindou, you read too much manga."
"I love you."
"Oh, just shut up and nigiri."
"Yeah, alright."