A/N: Thanks to Red Witch for letting me write this. Hopefully, it's up to her standard of madness!
Disclaimer: I own zip, the OCs belong to their creators. If you've read Joe fics, you know who they are!
Know Your Joe: Special Mystery Guests.
ZRRRK! BOOM!
"I'm gonna kill Breaker!" declared Low Light hotly, as he threw the now useless remote at the still smoking T.V set.
"Leave some for me." said his fellow couch-potato Shipwreck. "That's the third T.V he's shorted out with those crackpot experiments of his. What the hell takes so much juice to run anyway?" Grunts of acknowledgement issue from the Joes draped picturesquely around the Rec room of the Pit.
"Now what are we going to do?" this from Alpine.
"Never fear!! Mainframe's here!!" said the other Joe tech whiz striding in carrying a bulky object under his arm.
"What's that you got there? Some type of midget T.V?" asked Low Light.
"Actually, no, it's my nephew's home made, battery powered radio. I told him I'll soup it up for him. I thought now would be as good a time as any to test it out."
"It's better than nothing. Go ahead." said the sniper.
The radio is set up and Mainframe adjusts the knobs until they get a clear signal.
"This is Quick Kick and Short Fuse bringing you another episode of everyone's favorite show Know Your Joe!" said a familiar voice from the radio.
"NO!! It can't be!!" said Low Light.
"They're everywhere!!"(Shipwreck)"Heaven give me strength."(Roadblock) "OH HELL!! "(Beach Head) and other assorted exclamations filled the Rec room.
"Change the station, please!!' begged Alpine.
"I can't, the knob's stuck. The only way I can stop it is by breaking it and if I did that, my nephew would kill me, not to mention what his mom would do to me." said Mainframe.
"We decided to change the show's format a little-"
"The reason being General Hawk told us he'd personally boot us off base if he caught us filming another episode."
"Shut up Fuse! Well…. ahem…. anyway, we've not had many volunteers for appearing on today's show."
"Gee! I wonder why?" quipped Ace.
"But after a lot of hard work-"
"He means sneaking around and picking locks."
"Wehave managed to get not one but two guests today. We're interviewing everyone's favorite Joes, Sgt. Snuffles and Brutus!!"
"WHAT!!" yelled Lady Jaye.
"LET ME AT 'EM!!" hollered Beach Head, following Lady Jaye out of the room.
"Radio room's the third left down the hall!!" yelled Shipwreck after them." This ought to be good." he chortles.
"But why do I have to do their voices." whined Short Fuse.
"You lost the toss remember?" replied Quick Kick." Let's start with you Brutus, how did Lady Jaye end up with you?"
"Well," said Short Fuse in a squeaky voice. "Duke bought me to replace an identical bear Lady Jaye lost during a mission."
" Realllly! I smell a love triangle, or should I say quadrangle, here."
"He'll be smelling daisies soon, if you know what I mean." remarked Alpine as Flint, Duke and Scarlett all beat a path to the radio room.
"Now moving on to you, sarge. What did you do to deserve Beach Head?" questioned Quick Kick.
"Aw, c'mon, Beach ain't bad once you get to know him. He's quite a softie really." drawled 'Sgt. Snuffles.'
"Yeah, especially about a certain red head we know." quipped Quick Kick.
"Any takers on them being road-kill by the end of the show." queried Low Light, as Cover Girl made her way to the Joe's new favorite room on base.
"Even I wouldn't take that bet." said Ace.
BOOM!!CRASH!
"LOOK OUT!! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK !!"
"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE POKING THAT JAVELIN, JAYE!!"
'Javelinmama strikes again!!" declared Shipwreck gleefully.
"YOU MAGGOTS ARE GETTING PIG PT FOR LIFE Y'ALL HEAR ME!!LIFE!!"
"YOU TWO ARE LUCKY I CAN'T GET THE WOLVERINE IN HERE!!!"
"Whoever said television's better than radio?" said Low Light, leaning back with a smile while listening to the continuing sounds of random destruction and colorful curses and threats coming over the radio.
The End