My first story on FF.N! Yay! A humor fic supposed to at least slightly amuse you. Inspired by a day when our house ran out of sugar, and I nearly went into shock. Oh, and if you're hyper-anti-spoiler and only watch the English anime, and don't want a very slight part of Gaara's future spoiled, don't read.
Disclaimer: Isn't it obvious I don't own Naruto? And if I owned any of the below-mentioned candy, it would have been eaten already.
Chocoholics Unite!
(Because No One Should Suffer Without Sugar)
The Kazekage had a secret.
He was a chocoholic.
Yep, Gaara had a sweet tooth. You did not get between him and a Hershey's bar, as several maimed individuals could testify.
Tsunade's "official Hokage business" might have been sleeping; the Kazekage's was savoring the sweet, creamy deliciousness that was chocolate.
Which was why there was no one to watch as he twitched, staring down at his empty secret stash. Last week, he had had a full cabinet, but today, not even a single M&M met his despairing eyes.
So, Gaara decided to check Temari's stash. He knew where his older sister kept chocolate-covered strawberries, her favorite midnight snack. He lifted her mattress to find…an empty carton.
Plan C, then. Kankuro openly kept a bag of Hershey kisses (a fact that gave him no little grief from Temari) in his room. But Gaara opened his brother's pantry with false hope, for no chocolaty goodness met his eyes.
This called for a trip to the local mart, Suna Store. Wrapping himself in cloth (because no one could know his weakness), Gaara checked to make sure his face was covered before setting out to purchase his delight.
Alas, though, it was all in vain. The undercover shinobi stared with increasing desperation (and exasperation: this was getting ridiculous!) at empty boxes of Hershey bars, Kit-Kats, Reese's cups, you name it, it was gone. There wasn't a single piece of chocolate in the entire store. When he questioned the trembling shopkeeper, the stuttering man told him they weren't going to get any more candy for a week. After warning the terrified man to, "Tell no one I was here," the Kazekage stalked away to find his siblings. The shaking owner did his best to forget that The Gaara-sama had been in his store, asking him about his chocolate. It was too much excitement for the poor man to process.
When they were spotted, Temari and Kankuro found themselves dragged along the path out of Suna, headed away from the village. When Temari asked where they were going, Gaara simply replied, "On a mission."
"Where?"
"…Konoha."
"Oh, goodie!" The elder brother proceeded to do his happy dance.
"…"
"…Kankuro?"
"Yeah, Temari?"
"…That was creepy."
"…Sorry."
And so our new heroes continue onwards to the Land of Fire, in search of that miraculous item, chocolate. However, two days and 23 hours later, right outside the Hidden Leaf Village, the trio still hadn't found success, and so it was wearily (except for Gaara, who was as deadpan as ever) that they trampled into every store in Konoha, who, coincidently, were all supplied by the same candy-producer; thusly, all were out. Gaara was beginning to get desperate; he was barely hesitating from making his team march the whole continent to complete their newly A-ranked mission.
Fortunately for Temari and Kankuro, a certain blond-haired whisker-cheeked hyperactive ninja ran by at that exact moment, backtracking to find his great pal, the Kazekage. "Gaara-kun! What are you doing here?" Naruto asked, way too chipper for the annoyed elder Sand siblings. But before either could phrase a snappy retort, the prestigious red-head caught sight of a slip of paper in his foreign friend's hand. "What's that?" Gaara asked.
Naruto looked at the paper happily. "It's a recipe for chocolate fudge that Hinata-chan gave me! Want to try some?" Gaara nodded, then followed the hyperactive blonde back to his house, trailed wearily by Temari and Kankuro. However, after stepping through the door and getting a glance at the chaotic mess that was inside, he elected to wait outside. Naruto grinned and said, "Okay! I'll bring it out when it's ready."
A half-hour later, Naruto appeared with a tray of steaming mush that, if you squinted and nodded your head a few times, might resemble the chocolate fudge Gaara had wanted. After one tentative taste, though, Gaara found that it was nothing like chocolate, and fainted dead away at the well-meaning but poorly-skilled shinobi's horrendous cooking.
Temari woke from her dozing state just in time to watch her brother fall over after sampling the odd substance Naruto offered him. She blinked in shock, then looked at the oblivious face of Naruto. "You…You poisoned Gaara-sama!" Kankuro cracked his knuckles as the boy stood up. "What? No, I…I just…" He cowered in the face of Temari's angry glare. "Scary…" he squeaked, then ran away screaming bloody murder from the frightening Sand duo that chased their "culprit" all over town, leaving the unfortunate and unconscious Kazekage where he lay.
It seemed that fate was on the red-head's side today, though, for a kind-hearted kunoichi was on her way to the enthusiastic blonde's home. She, too, harbored a secret love of sweets, and was munching on a home-made chocolate bar of her own when she saw the fallen ninja. She rushed over to his side immediately, hoping to help. Hinata didn't have to do anything, though, for the second she got close enough, Gaara's nose twitched and he shot awake at the smell of the sumptuous sweet Hinata carefully cradled in her left hand. A bit unnerved by the way he stared at her chocolate, she held out her hand. "D-Did you want some, G-Gaara-sama?" He nodded and hastily took the offered gift, inhaling half the bar faster than Hinata has seen anyone eat, except maybe Naruto with his beloved ramen.
Gaara slowed down to savor the taste. Hinata smiled slightly at the Kazekage. "So…A-Are you a chocoholic, too?" He thought a moment before nodding again, mouth full. Chocoholic? He had never heard the word before, but it certainly suited him. "I…have more at my house. I make chocolate, since the stores are always out…Would you like more?" A third set of fervent nods made Hinata's smile widen. "O-Okay…" She led the way to her home.
It wasn't too much longer before Temari and Kankuro had cornered the bewildered blonde, but before they could do anything to him, they were stopped. "Kankuro, Temari. We're leaving. Mission complete," Gaara called, placing the cork in his gourd. (Chocolate: what he really keeps in there.) The two shot final glares at the now-once-again-grinning boy, then followed their Kazekage back home, a bit bemused. Naruto walked over to a blushing Hinata, saying, "Hey, Hinata-chan! I was waiting for you to come by earlier." She ducked her head, playing with her fingers as she watched the retreating backs of the sand shinobi. "Ah…G-Gomen nasai, Naruto-kun…"
A week later, Gaara eyed his once-again dwindling supply of chocolates, thinking of a blue-haired kunoichi. "If you ever need more, you're free to drop by…" she had said, seeing him off. 'Hinata-chan, is it? I might just take you up on that offer…' Looking out the window, Gaara thought of a kind girl and the sweets that awaited him in Konoha.
Okay, slightly cheesy towards the end, I'll admit. So, did you smile? I did!