I hoped today would be different that every girl who had ever set foot in green fields secondary wouldn't give me that same loathing grimace as I walked past her table or sat down in front of her. I hoped that because today was January first things would change but they did not. I was gangly; taller than most adults and carrying the puppy fat of several young hippos; I had long frizzy hair hung in striking red curls around my face, I looked, I thought, like a fire cracker had exploded over my head and had continued to shoot red sparks in every direction. The outcome was not very attractive or in any way positive looking.
The stage for my arrival had been set. The tables had been strategically placed in an oval so that each table could see its neighbour and its neighbour could see them. No table was empty; I had to of course sit down on the table next to the bins it thankfully was slightly out of sight due to the bins causing quite a lot of complaints and being moved along with the table; to the corner of the cafeteria. I walked in through the door carrying my school bag tightly as if it would serve some protection against the stares and whispered insults. "…have you heard about her…" this was the beginning of most of the whispering; my unusual home life had made it hard to make friends when I was little. I'd invite the whole class to my birthday parties to only be disappointed by the amount of sudden blocks in people's schedules. My dad wasn't really a responsible parent or for that matter even a responsible person in any aspect. We lived in a small flat over a post office two bedrooms, one sitting room, one kitchen and a small bathroom with a shower bath. We were happy but many mums thought this arrangement both inappropriate and odd. I haven't had a birthday party for eleven years. I'm thirteen.