Hey guys! I'm not dead! I'm just stressing over school as usual. But yeah, you wouldn't want to hear my rant so I'll save you from it ;)
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and I never will, that is the sad truth of life.
Notes: Attempt of doing a crack fic; YOU ARE WARNED.
" That's a lot of papers to stamp Teme…"
" Aa. I know."
" Ne, Sasuke-kun, did you see my Rejected stamp? I'm sure I placed it over here somewhere…"
" …No."
" I see. Well then, I guess these papers have to wait until I find back that stamp. Ja ne, Sasuke-kun."
The two shinobis stood at the little open area behind the Local Konoha Hospital where a certain pink haired teammate worked at. The fairer head of the two stared at the bundled pieces of paper in the little stocking they hung on the wall, in which where the papers were all in waiting to be placed into the accepted stocking next to it.
" What do you think this is, Teme?" The blonde boy, Naruto asked, cerulean blue eyes glancing back at his friend who stared as hard as he could at the " Waiting List" stocking. Naruto knew that if the Sharingan possessed the powers to burn an object with just as much of a glance, the stocking would be bursting up in flames at the young Uchiha's glare.
" What everyone is talking about," Sasuke replied.
Apparently, Sasuke knew something that Naruto didn't know. And one thing he was sure about, Naruto didn't like being kept in the dark –if he was in the dark, he couldn't help anyone without being able to pull himself out.
" What do you mean ' What everyone is talking about'? Sasuke –"
A hand shot out to silence his rant and Sasuke lifted a finger to his lips, beckoning him to keep quiet. Clamping his mouth shut, Naruto gave a nod and they both disappeared with a puff of smoke, reappearing in a distance in a crouched figure in order to maintain hidden from the approaching figures.
" When do you think she'll go through these, Kogaru? The papers are increasing each day," The shorter man of the 3 said, and Naruto squinted his eyes to see him pulling out a paper of his own to stuff it into the waiting list.
" I don't know," A man replied, where Naruto assumed he was Kogaru, and he pulled out a paper too and stuffed it into the waiting list. He narrowed his eyes, just what was going on over here? " Someone said that she's gona go through them before Christmas but with the seclude she has, I doubt she'll see them anytime soon. All I'm hoping for is just one date before New Year or get accepted."
" Nice try Kogaru," The third male said, looping his hands between the other two males around the shoulders to steer them out once the both of them were done with the papers. " But I doubt you'd be able to do both, much less get a date with her, " –a laugh–" Not with that Uchiha and Uzumaki kid tailing behind her like wolves. They'd be at your doorstep before you even knew what was happening and you'll be hanging off at some remote area with your limps around you."
Damn right he was; Naruto was sure as he'll ever be to not have his precious Sakura-chan be touched by those vultures. And their limps won't be the only things hanging around them, he'll make sure of that.
Once the trio were gone, Naruto was the first to stood up and shot Sasuke a questioning glance. " What was that?"
Sasuke heaved a sigh and stood up seconds later and pushed Naruto back to the stockings. " That is what is going on, Dope. Some rumor is going around saying Sakura is going to go through these," He gestured to the papers within the stockings, " and reply them by placing them in the Rejected or Accepted stockings representatively."
It took less than a second for Naruto to process what Sasuke had said and go on a rampage he was famous for. " WHAT? DOES SAKURA-CHAN KNOW ABOUT THIS? WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TEME –THOSE VULTURES CAN'T TOUCH OUR SAKURA-CHAN. I WON'T ALLOW IT EVEN IF IT COSTS ME MY LIFE!"
" Dope," The Uchiha growled, " Stop being so melodramatic and help me with these papers."
And the next thing he knew, he was thrown a barrage of papers waiting to be rejected. From the corners of the mountain of papers in his hands, he looked at Sasuke who equally had the same amount of papers he had. How the little stocking managed to hold in so much was just another wonder Naruto would never find out.
" So what do we do now?"
" We stash them in your apartment."
His jaw drop in bewilderment, " What?"
" And then we take Sakura's Rejected stamp and stamp them."
Taking Sakura-chan's Rejected stamp? As much as that was as close to walking to your own suicide, Naruto could see the point of using her stamp. Given that if they were just to transfer everything into the Rejected stocking, those people who placed their slips of paper would just assume someone had dumped them into the Rejected pile for no absolute reason and put it back into the Waiting List. If they had no proof that Sakura had seen it, they would just bounce back up and he didn't want that –and he was sure that his other teammate didn't want that either. And so what other good way to break those little shinobi hearts that were beneath him (A voice told him inside his head that he was spending way too much time with the young Uchiha that how his thinking of people has someone been tampered with the Uchiha's brooding attitude to everyone.) than to use Sakura-chan's famous Rejected stamp?
Her Rejected stamps were usually used on papers given by Tsunade that weren't related to the Hospital and more of the Nation Facility which wasn't in her expertise. And everyone knew that every single paper that went through her were rejected if it weren't related to the Hospital.
" How are we going to get it?"
" This is your plan in taking it?" Naruto shrieked, staring at himself in the mirror. Every inch of his body was covered in black –save for his eyes; a very odd dressing ninja uniform he had to say.
" Aa," Like him, Sasuke was dressed in the same standard black ninja uniform he had taken from the Uchiha Estate. Unfortunately for them, Itachi had seen them both sneaking their way into the store room with Sasuke's direction after placing the stash of papers in his apartment. The elder Uchiha merely raised a brow at their actions but said nothing before walking away, in which Naruto was thankful for.
Using a free hand, Naruto pulled the loose garment at his chest, eyeing it spectacularly, " But isn't this a little suspicious? I mean, Sakura-chan will see us…"
" It's called blending into the surroundings, Dobe. She won't see us."
Still not exactly feeling assured at the words, Naruto soundlessly followed his friend out of the room. Their footsteps were hurried, but it was soundless against the wooden flooring in their direction of walking towards the exit of the Uchiha household then compound.
Night had befallen on the 2 shinobis in their makeshift mission of stopping those suitors at all cost. Sakura's shift was over soon, and they had to make it to the hospital before she had her shift over to get in and out of her office without her noticing. Or having the door locked.
( But they had super ninja skills to break the door open anyway but that was beside the point.)
" Are you sure? Because really, if Sakura-chan saw us…" Naruto couldn't even bare finishing the sentence without cringing at the thought of what Sakura would do to them both if they were to be caught in their little act.
" If you don't shut up now she will," Sasuke snapped, a harsh glare sending his way. And with his Sasuke senses' were tingling, Naruto just knew as a fact that Sasuke was frowning under the mask that covered his lips.
The faint outlines of the hospital came into his view from the rooftop they stood on. He shared a look with Sasuke, after have a sense of seriousness drop over him. As if sensing his unasked question, Sasuke squatted, ushering Naruto to do the same.
" Sakura's office is over there," Sasuke said, and pointed to one of the few lighted rooms stationed at the east side of the building where the offices were. " We need to get in and out without her knowledge."
Naruto scoffed, pushing himself back up into a stance. " And how do you suppose we get in?"
A blank stare was shot at him instead of a glare which he was expecting; like he said something utterly stupid until Sasuke couldn't even fathom why he even bothered to ask that question. " By using the window."
Ah, the window.
( There goes breaking the door with the super ninja skills they had.)
Heat tingled at the tip of his ears and Naruto was thankful for the mask that covered them. He didn't need Sasuke another ego boost.
When Sasuke finished explaining their plan of getting into the room without alarming Sakura, Naruto was shocked to say that Sasuke knew a lot of their pink haired teammate's habit in the hospital. Like how she liked check on the older patients before rounding off her last round and then to the younger ones and tell them stories. Or when she had breaks and whatnot.
( Tanni is her favorite patient; she's only 5 diagnose with a disease Sakura is trying to cure. She finds her charming. )
" How do you know all this?" Naruto asked in a hushed voice as they made their way to the hospital. " Do you like stalk her, Teme?"
The Uchiha tensed up for a second and he replied swiftly, as if he didn't stop breathing in front of Naruto. " No."
That was all it took for Naruto to go berserk. " WHAT THE HELL, SASUKE? WHY ARE YOU STALKING SAKURA-CHAN LIKE A STALKER?! OR ARE YOU SOME CREEP ACTING AS SASUKE –" Naruto grabbed Sasuke ( or is he?) by the back and started pulling on his mask, deeming it to be creep underneath it. " HUH? WHERE IS THE ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE!"
" Get off me, dope!" The undercover Sasuke growled, his hands trying to peer off Naruto's hands off his face. " You're going to tear the mask –and what the hell? I am Sasuke!"
" How can I be so sure –"
" You kissed Hinata's nose during the fireworks festival in Suna."
" HEY! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE THAT TEME –TEME! Oh… Hehehe… False alarm?" And with that, Naruto let go of his death grip on Sasuke as he dusted himself in order to erase off whatever embarrassment he collected within the few minutes moments ago.
Choosing not to reply to Naruto's stupidity, Sasuke continued forward to the Hospital walls. Muttering a string of random things, he followed Sasuke's footsteps until they were both standing on the wall outside Sakura's office. Grinning to himself when Sasuke moved away from the window to allow Naruto to get closer to it, a flare of chakra built up at the tip of his fingers. His fingers moved at a precise direction at the window lock, as if there was an invisible key that was unlocking it.
A definite click made his grin grew wider.
Without wasting a second, they both went into the unlighted office of a certain pink haired teammate and started to hunt for that particular Rejected stamp of hers. After they turned on the lights of course.
" Oi, Teme," As always, Naruto had to be the one to break the wonderful silence they have mustered up during the search. " Are you sure about this? If Sakura-chan finds out –"
" For the last time –she won't find out Dope," Sasuke replied as he went off the stalk around the desk, lifting up papers and moving pens and added in for good measure, " If you don't screw this up."
" B-But Sakura-chan always uses that stamp and what if she finds that it's missing? She'll punch us to Iwa! And then Hinata-chan will kill me!"
" All the more reason to shut your mouth and help me find that stamp."
Grumbling a string loud enough for Sasuke to hear, Naruto pouted as he let out a silent fume and went through her lockers. After a few minutes of searching the place upside down, careful enough to not disrupt Sakura's neatness; Naruto was proud to say he found their treasure.
" FOUND IT, TEME!"
A blunt easer with enough force to pummel down a canned drink was sent flying his way, effectively hitting Naruto square in the head. Naruto fought the new found urge to cry, his friend could be so mean sometimes… Whipping his head around(well, as fast as he could without increasing the throb on the right side of his head) to glare at his friend, who he swore was smirking underneath that ridicules mask he wore.
" What was that for, teme? Are you trying to kill me? I could've died with that easer!"
Sasuke snorted, " But you didn't and you were being an idiot. Sakura could be coming in at any moment –"
" Yes, Shizune-san, I'm just gonna pick up some paper work and head home –Okay! I'll remember! Ja!"
Naruto thought peeing on his pants meant he was scared shitless but no, seeing Sasuke's face of absolute horror was worse.
Oh, crap.
Shit just leaked out of his butt hole.
tbc
review/fav/alert :)