Summary: Veronica Mars has everything she ever wanted. Perfect boyfriend, interviewing for perfect job that will guarantee an amazing career, and absolutely no strife in her life. So why the hell does she keep dreaming about an old love?

So when Logan Echolls calls asking for her help after nine years what choice does she have? She drops everything and rushes to his aid. Except something happens along the way and she wakes up 11 years back in time. She is a junior in high school again with no memory of what she has been doing for the past 11 years. Now she must navigate her life once more but this time with the strange dreams of a helpful Lilly and a new instinct that helps her see the true character of people. Will she learn to let down her guard and trust people or will she continue down the same destructive path as in the previous time through high school?

A/N: All right the usual things such as these are not my characters and I am just playing with them because they are so much fun to play with.

1. From Where You Are

So far away from where you are

These miles have torn us worlds apart

And I miss you, yeah, I miss you

So far away from where you are

And standing underneath the stars

And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased

I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face

I miss all the little things

I never thought that they'd mean everything to me

Yeah, I miss you and I wish you were here

I feel the beating of your heart

I see the shadows of your face

Just know that wherever you are

Yeah, I miss you and I wish you were here.

Lifehouse. "From Where You Are."

"Sugarpuss," the softly spoken endearment felt like a full body caress.

Goosebumps erupted all across my skin and my heart sped up in anticipation.

That voice. I knew that voice. It was his voice.

Smiling at the prospect of seeing his face I turned to look behind me but there was no one there. Where was he? In a panic I started running, searching for what was missing, but no matter how fast I ran I could not seem to find him.

"Veronica. Wake up! You are having a bad dream."

I, Veronica Mars had to blink a few times in order to see the concerned looking face hovering above me. For a moment I experienced the most excruciating wave of disappointment as I realized that the eyes looking down at me were a clear blue and not the guarded brown I had been expecting to see.

No Veronica, you must not think such things. I pushed back the feeling and pasted a weak smile on my face.

"Are you all right?" Stosh Piznarski, known as Piz to almost everyone except maybe his mother, returned my smile with a much more genuine one.

"Yeah, yeah. I am awake." I looked at the clock next to the messy bed. 5:37 AM. Why the hell was it so bright? Oh yeah, Piz hated darkness and always turned on every light in the apartment. It was a quirk I could generally tolerate except this early in the morning.

"Well since you are awake you can have breakfast with me." Piz's smile widened at the prospect. There had not been many opportunities for a shared meal in the past year. Between his work for the radio station and my finishing up law school followed by the non-stop studying for the bar exam things had been a little hectic. We had thought that moving in together a couple of months ago would make us have more time together but even that had not worked out.

"I am making bacon and eggs. A girl needs a great breakfast for her big day." Piz's words became muffled as I stumbled into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. The combination of the paper thin walls and the small square footage made it possible to have an almost normal conversation with a person no matter where you were in the apartment. Some might complain about such living quarters but this was New York and one was grateful for anything especially if you could afford a place without roommates.

Grasping both sides of the sink to steady myself I looked at the carnage the previous nights dreams/nightmares had left behind. Living in New York meant I did not have a great tan but now I looked even more pale than usual. The circles under my eyes were getting darker and my face was starting to look a more and more haunted. Turning on the faucet I splashed ice-cold water on my face hoping to wash away the memory of my most recent dream.

"Veronica honey, are you all right?" Piz's tone was concerned again. He was such a sweet guy. Which was why I could not say anything to him about these strange dreams. It was not like Piz could do anything about them and telling him would only hurt his feelings.

"Just give me a few minutes to wake up," I tried to force some cheerfulness into my tone. Hopefully the walls would distort my voice enough that he did not notice the lie. Trouble was that it was almost too easy to lie to Piz. Not that I lied to him with any intent of malice - most of the time I did it simply to protect him. Piz was the sweetest guy I had ever met and he was good through and through. The shadowy bands that had settled around my heart had done so long before I had ever met Piz. Those shadows were mine and I had always been determined to make sure the darkness never tainted Piz. So maybe I had to lie to him a few times, but it was for the best since Piz would never understand. He did not know what it feels like to hit rock bottom with nothing left to lose and if I had anything to do with it he never would. It might have sounded foolish to try to protect him from it all but the purity of his heart made it just a little easier to deal with the darkness that I could see circling us in this world. There were times when I would allow myself to be swept away by his optimism and pretended everything was great and right in this world. I desperately needed to do that today but the feeling was eluding me.

Oh God. What is going on? Ever since I moved in with Piz I have had the most unsettling dreams that had centered around him and not Piz like they were supposed to. I could not understand what was going on. Why him? and why now? Things were going great for me. Piz had an awesome job that he loved and according to him there were strong rumors about a promotion in the near future. I had scored so high on the bar exam that I already had three different job offers after only a month of sending out my resume. I was holding out for a really kick-ass law firm that had already interviewed me three times and they wanted to see me again. I needed to get it together.

Today was a big day. Huge. I was going in for the fourth round of interviews with a very prestigious New York corporate law firm, Truman-Mann and Associates. If I landed this gig I was set for life and we were talking about a salary that would guarantee that there would never be powdered cheese on the dinner menu. Yeah a girl needed to set the bar real high. I had seen my competition and while they were good but I was better, and that meant this job was practically mine - unless I did something to truly fuck it up. I only had one last interview left with a few of the partners. I needed to focus, to let go of this funk that had twisted itself around my mind, but most of all I needed to stop searching for him. It was over. Hell it had been over for nine years now. I had said goodbye - forever. The problem was I had not realized how long forever actually was. I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes. This could not work. Piz was not to see me crying because he might demand an explanation. Honestly I did not know if I could lie about it right now.

Shifting to my left I reached to pull on the knob to turn on the shower before taking off my extra large sleep shirt and underwear.

"I feel a little icky, do you mind if I shower first?" The question was almost rhetorical since I knew he would agree. Piz at times was far too accommodating. Hopefully he would attribute the hoarseness of my voice to the early morning and not realize that it was a herald of the upcoming tears.

"I guess I will keep breakfast warm for us then." Piz's words were accompanied by the creaking of the oven door. I did not wait for him to say anything else. It was best to hide the darkness inside of me from him but that did not alleviate the guilt I felt with each lie.

I let out a small yelp as I stepped into the cascading water. The water had not been warm enough but I was desperate to escape and this was the only place I could have any privacy. I raised my head up so that the lukewarm water cascaded down my face and carried away the tears. Had someone asked me what this was all about I could not have been able to come up with an explanation. I had no reason to cry. Life was going great both professionally and personally. I was exactly where I wanted to be — everything was right on track. After years of hard work and determination I was on the cusp of getting everything that I had ever wanted. Everything you ever wanted. Don't fuck this up, Mars.

Everything I ever wanted was just an interview away. I should have felt happy… elated, and I was happy but there was also a lingering doubt deep inside of me. I felt like something was missing - almost like I had lost something. Occasionally I would admit to myself what this feeling really was … regret… but for the sake of my own sanity I would push it back and deny the truth even to myself. Lying came as naturally to me as breathing and I had gotten so good over the years that I had managed to fool even myself. It was harder to lie to myself in the mornings when the walls around the old memories were weaker I became vulnerable to these doubts. Get it together Veronica, you had so many chances to make it right and yet you wasted them all. Now you have to live with the consequences. He has moved on and you need to do the same.

Pressing both hands against my mouth I tried to muffle the sobs. Piz did not need this from me. I needed to build up the walls again before I could face him. Maybe if I called him, just to hear his real voice this feeling would go away. Stop lying to yourself, you lost him. He will never be yours. He belongs to someone else and the sooner you accept that fact the better.

It took nearly twenty minutes for me to get control of myself. I quickly suppressed the little voice in the back of my head that pointed out it taking longer and longer to build up those walls. Should this not be getting easier as time went on?

A/N: So what do you guys think? Reviews are appreciated. Thanks for reading.

I just recently found this series but these characters are too fun not to play with. I would like to confess that generally I start a fanfic and then do not finish; usually because as I learn more about the characters I tend to start to see that without changing things drastically about their personalities there is no way to change the decisions they will make. Veronica has a lot of potential to change and grow up and with minimal tweaking her entire story can change. That is what I am looking to see, what happens if she is a little more insightful and learns to trust the right people.

Anyway in order prevent my usual abandoning of fanfics I have spent over a month with the characters and their stories. Because of that I have several chapters ready to go (with a bit of polish). So barring something catastrophic like a computer going kaput chapter 2 will be posted next weekend.

For those who are wondering, no I have not abandoned my other fanfics. I am trying to prevent the characters from making the same mistakes because of their low self esteem and stubbornness. So I have been writing and rewriting the next chapter of their stories several times over.