Link woke up. This was nothing new, yet it irritated him. You see, he only woke up when some sort of quest was about to begin. Other than that, he never slept. Next thing you know…
" Hey! Link! Get up! We've gotta do stuff!"
… a fairy would appear. Link looked at her.
" Hi! I'm… um… Lupi! Yeah. That's me."
Link nodded.
" So, why don't you get up? Dontcha wanna know where we're gonna go? C'mon! Talk to me! This'll be a really long game if we don't get some communication going. Link! Helloooo!
Link stared at her.
" Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…"
He took out a pen and a pad of paper and began to write. Once he finished, he handed the paper to the fairy, who had already begun to annoy him. She read it over.
" Ohhhh." Lupi looked up at him. " Dude. You're mute. Wow. I wonder why we never noticed it before? Oh well. Okay, get up. I have to show you a movie that explains stuff, and them I'm gonna tell you what we have to do."
The room that they were in went dark, and a picture appeared on the wall. It was Link, fighting Ganondorf.
" Once upon a time there was a boy named Link. ( That's you.) He had to keep saving this place that was called Hyrule. I don't know why, but he always got stuck with the job of getting rid of the bad guys. Every time he had to go and get a sword and then he had to kill stuff, and usually there was a princess to save, and eventually he would find Ganondorf ( That's the ugly guy) and then Ganondorf would get killed and then he would get killed and then he would come back and then he would die again and then he would come back again and then…"
Link slapped her.
" But I digress. Anyway, the bad guy came back as usual and you gotta find him and kill him because he kidnapped one of your friends." She took the paper from Link. " No, not Zelda. Well… No, we won't say. To get back to where we were, here's your sword." Lupi uncovered a strangely shaped shiny thing. " The props guys kinda lost you're normal one, so I made this out of some Reynolds aluminum foil until they find it."
Link blinked.
" Let's go! Oh, wait, your first task…" Lupi began patting her pockets. " Oh, here it is." She pulled out her pocket organizer. " Your first… what now?" She took the paper. " No, they don't know I have this, and you better not tell them. I need it to remember these stupid tasks and stuff. Anyway, your first mission is to go to the Mall of Hyrule and get a new pair of tights. Yours have a run in them. Then we can get into the real stuff."
Link looked down at his tights. She was right. They did have a run in them.
" Ready to go?"
Link handed her an other piece of paper. ( which was very wasteful - save the trees!)
" All right… what happened to Tatl and Navi… Well, Tatl walked because they refused to get her 300 bags of M&Ms with all of the green ones removed, and Navi is on vacation. She may be making a guest appearance… but you didn't hear anything from me. Any further questions?"
Link shook his head no.
" Great! Let's get going."
The pair headed out into Hyrule. Night came quickly, while they were crossing the field. Night brought with it monsters that popped from the ground.
" Hey! Use Z-targeting and press the other buttons until you find the one that works the sword!"
Link swung his sword as hard as he could. It bent in half upon contact with the monster.
" Uhh… okay. Link, run!"
He did as he was told. He didn't stop running until morning. ( Which came about thirty seconds later.)
" Wow. That stinks. Here, let me bend the sword back to normal."
Link handed her the sword. ( From here on in, Link's " dialogue" is in italics.) Maybe we should buy one?
" Sounds good. Look, it isn't too much farther!
Ahead of them was a large sign that read " Mall of Hyrule. Floors and floors of stores and stores!"
Too bad I don't have a horse. We could get there faster.
" Tough. You don't get the horse until later."
Lupi climbed into Link's hat, and he began to head toward the mall. Lupi soon decided that he wasn't going fast enough, and pulled his hair to make him go faster. Eventually, they reached the mall.
" Hey! Link, I don't like the looks of this place. It's very… empty."
What do you expect? It's a weeknight.
She was right, however. The mall was strangely quiet and empty. Link grabbed a torch and headed in anyway.
" Hey! It's the master sword! How convenient. They must have found it at Tatl's…
We're in a mall. You sure that it isn't a master card?
"Shut up and get the sword."
Link did as he was told. The sword was in a little pedestal thingy in front of the fountain. He pulled out the sword. For whatever reason, the sword rose out of his hands and levitated over his head while he raised his arms in the air.
* Link got the Master Sword!*
" Help!"
Link looked around. That voice wasn't Lupi's…
" Over here, stupid!"
The mermaid statue in the middle of the fountain seemed to be talking. Link started to walk over to it. All of a sudden, scary music started and a stalfos jumped out of the fountain. Link stood back and swung his new sword at the skeleton. After whacking it a few times with his sword, ( whoa, that didn't sound right.) , the skeleton think fell over and kinda… I dunno, disintegrated? Vaporized? Yeah.
" That was a close one, Link!"
How can it be possible to kill a skeleton with a sword? It's already dead.
" Don't question it. It doesn't matter. Go talk to the mermaid!"
He waded through the fountain to the mermaid.
" Hello, you."
Link nodded.
" Thanks for saving me. I'm a… line!"
" Mermaid. Enchanted mermaid."
" Oh, yeah. I'm an enchanted mermaid. Ganondorf turned me into a rock. I have to teach you a song."
How? I have no ocarina.
" Um… could someone hold up that paper for me to read? I can't bend my arm… thanks." She studied the paper held by Lupi. " Ohhh. I see. Well, I just happen to have an ocarina! See? It's the thing in my hand."
Sure enough, an ocarina had been glue-gunned into the mermaid's outreached hand. Link reached over and pulled off the ocarina.
" Augh! That hurt, stupid!"
Link was confused.
" My finger is attached to that."
Oh, sorry.
He chipped at the stone finger with his sword until it came off the ocarina. Link put the finger back in her hand." Gee, thanks."
Meanwhile, Lupi was laughing hysterically. " Hehehe… Anyway, you gonna teach us a song?"
" Sure. I was just getting to that. Annnyway… the Symphony of Shopping!" The mermaid began to sing.
* Follow along on your ocarina!*
__________O________
___O__________O____
______O____________
Link did.
* You have learned the Symphony of Shopping.*
" Use the symphony to come back to this spot, as you will likely have to later in the game, hint hint."
" Hey! Let's get going."
Link and Lupi headed further into the mall.
" Hey! Let's look at the store directory… I hear that Nintendo Power sponsored these… Yeah. Look, this is us."
Link nodded.
" And we need to find new tights, which are right here. Um… I think we should take the escalator to the fairy fountain, which is here, then go to the Iron Knuckles that's guarding the tights."
Whatever.
The first stop was at the fairy fountain. Link stood on the image of the triforce and pulled out his ocarina…
" Hey! I forgot! We never went to see Zelda, so you don't know the song."
Yes I do. How many times have I played it? Oh, right.
" But you need to learn it again. I think you get amnesia between each game."
So what are we going to do?
" This Fairy owes me a favor anyway." Lupi took a deep breath and yelled " HEY!"
An exceptionally hideous and frightening being appeared. Link recognized her as one of the Great Fairies.
" Ah, the universal call of the fairies. What do you want, Lupi?"
" This kid… I forgot to bring him to Zelda first. He needed new tights. Anyway, he didn't learn Zelda's Lullaby yet, and he needs the magic meter."
" Oh. Well, I'm not supposed to do this…" The Great Fairy shot some sort of thing at him. A green bar appeared in the sky above Link.
" That's your magic meter. It shows you how much magic you have."
Thanks.
" No prob. Hey, Lupi?"
" Yeah?"
" You going to be at bridge this week? We all missed you last time."
" I'll try, but with being moved up to being Link's fairy and all."
" I understand. Good Luck! And if you come, don't forget the cheese dip."
" Sure."
The Great Fairy laughed and vanished.
" Now to get the tights!"
They headed down the hall to Iron Knuckles chamber. Link went in and beat up the monster. ( I'll skip the details.) From there, Link and Lupi headed into the next chamber, which held a treasure chest. Link kicked the box, and it opened.
* You found the green tights! Now Link can be well dressed when he goes to visit the princess.*
" Hurry and put them on. I want to get out of here."
He went into the changing room and put the tights on. Oooh, nice and clean. A glowing blue circle appeared in the changing room. Link stepped into it and was transported outside.
The pair headed off to Hyrule Castle. Link had to sneak past the guards as usual, because they never seemed to remember all of the things that he had done. He finally reached the Princess.
" Link?" The princess turned to greet him. " It has been so long… and you have new tights!"
Link nodded.
" As you have probably heard, Ganondorf has come back. You must stop him, Link! To help you in your journey, I will teach you this song.
_________O_____________
____O__________________
____________O__________ ( Yeah, I know it's not right. Tough.)
* You learned Zelda's Lullaby! This song will help you do… stuff.*
" Now, Link, you must head to the mountains. There is someone there who needs your help. If you want, you can go see that Malon girl. She probably has a horse that you can use, since the Royal Family would never give you one."
She kissed him on the cheek. " Good Luck."
As soon as they were out of the castle, Link started to dance.
" Hey! What's with you?"
She kissed me!
" Oh. May I remind you that it was only on the cheek? And a few names may help the matter : Malon, Saria, Ruto, Nabooru, Navi…"
Navi? Nothing happened there…
" Oh, please. I read Star."
Link looked away. The two continued to the Ranch. When they got there, they found a girl singing to the horses.
" Hey, Grasshopper! Er, I mean…" The girl turned red. " Wow… haven't seen you in a while… you're kinda cute…"
Lupi laughed. " Yeah, well, we were just coming from the castle. Visiting Princess Zelda."
Malon's face fell. " Yeah, well. I assume you came because you wanted a horse?"
Well, yes.
" Sorry. They're in Disney World. We do, however, have cows.
Cows?
" Cows?"
" Yes, cows. They give a good enough ride. You want one or not?"
" Why the hurry?"
" Er… I'm meeting someone? Yeah. You don't know him, Link, but…"
" Whatever you say. So, Link, we taking a cow?"
I guess.
" Great. We'll take one."
Link climbed onto the back of a cow and began to ride away.
" Link?"
He looked at Malon.
" Will you visit me? Like, an other time?"
He nodded. Then, turning back to the road leading out of the ranch, rode his cow into the sunset.
Will Navi make a guest appearance? Will Link ever get a horse? What exactly happened with all of those aforementioned girls? Why are they going to the mountains? If you're lucky, you'll find out! Bubbles!