Hello, my readers! This is my first ever one-shot, shoopdawoop!
Semi-songfic, based off Jizz In My Pants by Lonley Island, which is a treasure in itself. I highly suggest you watch it on YouTube, because you can't buy it on iTunes. Hearing the song will help you grasp what exactly the rythm is supposed to be.
This story is complete and utter crack. WARNING: SEIZURES FROM TOTAL AWESOMNESS OF WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ MAY OCCOUR. AUTHOR IS IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR SAID SEZIURES.
Disclaimer - I don't own anything, and for those who thought or had any trace idea that I did... ahem... PAGING DR. FAGGOT! Hehe, always wanted to say that on this site... :]
Quik Guide -
Normal - Dib.
Italics - Zim.
Bold - Both singing together.
() - Background.
Now that that's been said, read on!
smileyfox148
Lock eyes. From across the room.
Gasp out loud, while the skool bells boom.
The teacher sneers and speaks his name.
He scans the class, and I start our game.
Make my way through the kids and crowd.
Spaceboy gulps as the rain falls down.
He glares at me, lets lasers fly,
The battle starts, he just won't die!
Leave this place, follow you to yours.
Lawn gnomes chase me from your doors.
You plot all night to rig the score.
Scream out loud, "Earth will be no more!"
And I soon find out you're
.
My enemy!
.
I have pictures, he's on record.
Though most of you say it's all absurd.
(INSERT SUPER-DUPER LINE HERE...)
And I know you're
.
My enemy!
.
I have no friends; they all say I'm a nut.
Plus it's your fault for the way that you strut.
I've got a hero complex; some would say that's a plus.
Now I'll go home and spy.
.
I'm simply amazing as you smellies can see.
I do as I want now mostly.
Came to this planet, had to hear Gir sing,
Surprise in my eyes when I met Dib-thing.
He pointed at me and revealed my race,
My arm stood still, so did time and space.
Never thought I could feel hate again,
But the look in his eyes said 'You're not a friend.'
He turned to me, that's when he said it,
Looked me dead in the face and said, "Maybe I'll get autopsy credit!"
And I know you're
.
My enemy!
.
I'm perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me.
It's a skin condition, so leave me be!
And now I'm posed in a defiant stance because I know you're
My enemy!
To be fair, I'm an Irken Elite,
And you are just a hyuman smeet.
Please stop acting like you're not impressed.
One more thing… GIR, NO MORE WAFFLES!
.
Last week – I met a moose.
As I recall, it was a MiniMoose.
Walked outside into the rain,
Made me think of you in pain and I know you're
.
My enemy!
.
Speeding down the street while the red lights flash.
Need to get away, need to make a dash.
I see a big head that reminds me of you and I know you're
.
My enemy!
.
The next day, my alarm goes off and I know you're
My enemy!
.
Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I know you're
My enemy!
.
When Gaz turned to me and bursts into flames I know you're
My enemy!
.
I just ate meat loaf and I know you're
My… enemy!
.
I went to-
(My… enemy!)
(Ok, seriously you guys can we… ok…)
.
I know you're my enemy every time you yell at me.
And when you chase me down, it's like you're slowly killing me.
Some call it obvious, others say insanity.
I have weapons on hand, 'cause it's a necessity.
I know you're
.
My enemy!
.
(You're my enemy, you're my enemy, yes you're my enemy, you're my enemy.)
.
Yes you're my… enemy!
.
(You're my enemy, my enemy.)
Hey hey, how was that!? Pretty amazing, am I right!? WHO'S WITH ME!
...
...
...
(Chirp...)
Oh, okay, I see how it is... sniff... fine, then... sniffle...
...
...
...
JUST KIDDING!
Hey you. Psst. Yeah, you. No, not you! You, yeah, okay, here's the deal. See that green button down there? Yeah, he's really a pirate. I mean, if he was a ninja, you wouldn't be able to see him. But he's not a ninja. He's a pirate. Be a ninja and catch the pirate by clicking on it and writing a review! GO NINJAS!
kthnxbai,
smileyfox148