AUTHOR NOTE:
Hey guys,
Some of you know that I have a another story in progress. I'll be working on this one and the previous one at the same time so the updates will be little slow but not too slow so don't worry.
Second of all, I haven't watched all of the 9 seasons of how I met your mother so they'll be some changes in the timeline. There won't be much but some. This story will basically have snippets of Maria's life as Robin and as agent Maria hill. It's starts at the point where she becomes the deputy director of SHIELD. hopefully you guys like it. And reviews are welcomed. It helps with my writing. English is not my first language so I might make some mistakes.
Anyways back to the story...
I don't own Avengers or How I Met Your Mother.
Oh one more thing, the words in italics are Maria's thoughts.
Summary:
Agent Maria Hill receives a mission to go undercover as a TV Reporter, Robin Scherbatsky. It turns out, being Robin is easy but balancing it with Maria is hard. Now that she's offered the post of SHIELD's deputy director, it had turned her undercover life more harder to handle. But she's Maria Hill, the ice queen of SHIELD, she's confident she'll handle the situation... Or maybe not. Snippets of her life as Robin and Maria. SAME UNIVERSE!
Chapter 1 - The Start of Hell
Working as a TV reporter wasn't hard. You just had to simile & say few words, and then tadaaaa!
Fuck it. This was one of the worst mission Agent Maria Hill has ever gotten.
"Stupid dog, STAY DOWN! I don't need you barking in my ears!" Maria screamed to a bulldog by her leg. The others were just toddling around her living room. She's going to kill Coulson for assigning 5 dogs to her. They're always starring at her.
Dropping her keys at the coffee table, Maria walked into her small apartment before dropping onto the couch. Looking at her daily Robin Scherbatsky's emails, she scoffed at all the words on the paper. Another invite? Agh! I hate fury!
Ring. Ring. Ring. Her phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, her anger flared up.
"WHAT?" She barked.
"Jeez, what happened to sweet robin sparkles?" Coulson replied sarcastically.
"She died."
"Aww I really miss her. 'Let's go to the mall everybody!'" Coulson said in robin's high pitched voice.
"Shut up Coulson. If I hear you talking about bloody sparkles again, I'll gut you with my knife."
"You should say that to Agent Weaver. She got hold off to many rumours about the ice queen signing and dancing."
"WHAT?! How did the cadets even found out about that?" She screamed.
"Oh I don't know. Maybe the INTERNET?!"
"But I thought SHIELD took off all the videos?"
"Apparently they haven't"
"I'm going to kill them."
"Hahaha...I thought you liked playing your cover?"
"How long do I have to stay on this?" Maria said ignoring Coulson's question.
"Not long. Fury needs you soon." He said with a sigh. Maria knew what 'soon' means in SHIELD. It means, your stuck there forever so suck it up!
"What do you need Coulson?"
"Oh nothing much, just that when you go to work tomorrow, say 'hello' to your interns. They've gotten themselves into pretty bad mess!"
"Anything else?"
"Oh yes, congratulations!"
"For what?"
"You'll find out soon enough"
"Goodbye!" She barked again before ending the damn call. What was he even talking about?
To be honest, the ice queen loves her old Supervising Officer but he can get on her nerves sometimes.
She took a deep breadth before getting up to find some homemade noodles in her kitchen's cabinet. It's been nearly 3 years and she's still stuck on Robin Scherbatsky. The agency told her she'll be working on her cover 3 days of the week and others were dedicated to her SHIELD's post. So that includes a lot of travelling which fits with robin's life perfectly.
Apparently her cover gives her access to small groups of terrorism which then leads to big circles and conspiracies. During her 3 year period, she uncovered many groups but not the big ones yet. "Saving the world is such a tiring job!"
After eating her noodles, she re-loaded her guns before putting them back on her leg holster. Her last loads were dished out at a group of men who tried to ambush her when she excused herself to go the toilets at her friend's favourite bar, MacLaren. Barney was talking about one of his immature games when she had felt her back hair stand up. In the world of spy, instincts are your greatest friends. She knew she'd had to make a dash before her cover gets blown. Luckily the stupid attack happened in the ladies bathroom. She ended up breaking many sinks that day, before shooting the last guy with her gun. She had to leave them there until they were found by some dumb blonds who had screamed so loud that it made her ears cringe in disgust.
Attacks like these were common in her life. She has so many enemies by the time she started Robin's cover, that it was hard to keep a list. Also checking the knives in her boot, back jeans and purse, she changed into a long summer dress. Apparently it's shopping time for Robin. Lily should be here soon. So picking up her keys again, she snaked her way out of her apartment before meeting Lily at the bottom of the building.
Imjustalineimjustalineimjustalineimjustalineimjustaline
"Oh Robin, do you think marshall would like this shirt?" Lily asked holding up a blue striped shirt at her friend's face.
"I don't know Lily. He's your husband, not mine!" Maria said irritably. She was busy looking at some green cargo pants she found.
"Why are you even interested in those pants? I thought you didn't like that colour?" Lily asked her as she saw Maria touching the fabric.
"Uhh... " that question caught Maria off guard. Robin wasn't supposed to like these pants. Sure her interests were boyish but not cargo pants.
"Umm... I thought I should try something new?" Maria said hesitantly.
"Oh, ok then I want one too. We'll try the new pants together. Remember 'friends forever'?" Lily said as she grabbed a pair for herself. 'Friends forever' was a little promise that Maria and Lily made to each other. Maria remembered laughing at that. There are no friends forever in my line of work, Lily!
"GUYS! I just found Barney with a new girlfriend!" Ted yelled as he ran towards the ladies section.
"So what ted? Barney has girls all the time!" Lily said.
"But this one's hot! Like really really hot! Like a perfect goddess." He said as he gulped his hormones down. Maria felt a pang of jealousy. I'll kill that bitch if she even puts an eye on My Ted! Wait, my Ted? Where did that come from? No, her and Ted are over. Why is she feeling this again?
"And your Marshall is with her too!"
"WHAT!" Lily screamed. Maria could see Lily's anger flaring up.
"Don't worry, he's keeping his distance. Oh, wait, there they are!" Ted said quickly before pointing to Barney who had an arm snaked around a red-head women. A red-head women that seemed way too familiar for Maria's liking. Behind them, they could see Marshall walking while eating a banana.
"Oh, hey guys. Look who I found. Natalie Roman." Barney said in his usual manner before leaning in ted's ear saying 'And she likes sex!'. Unknown to them both Maria and Natalie heard his whispered words.
'Ha.. Sex.. You don't want to make that mistake Barney' Maria thought as she laughed at the idea of Barney being used as a practice head for someone's archery training. She liked Barney. Really. She'd been friends with him and the others for nearly 3 years now. She truly considers them as her close friends. But sometimes their antics are just over the limit.
"Natalie... So nice to meet you. I'm Robin. So how did you end up in little barney's cage?" Maria asked in a fake sweet voice. Oh she was mad. I swear if she compromises my cover, I'll make her life a living hell!
"Oh I was just walking by when I saw him. The weather wasn't that good outside so I took him up with his offer." Natalie replied in her Russian accent.
"Weather? It's perfectly sunny outside." Lily said confusingly. Maria pinched her nose in anger as she figured what Natalie means. She's being followed. Should have guessed! Agh! She's going to destroy my cover!
"Oh, I don't like sunny days. I hate the heat." The red-head replied.
"I second that, heat can be... a little distracting... a little drenching." Barney said in his slow sexy voice as he loosened his collar a bit. Oh god.
"Babbyyy... Where were you?" Lily said suddenly. Hmmm... She must have noticed the 'heat'.
"I went out to buy you some Olives!" Marshall said as he was swamped with kisses from Lily.
"Ugh! Could you please stop the mooching!" Maria said as she gagged at the view.
"Oh hush up Robin. Come on guys, l wanna have a drink! You're welcome to join us Natalie if you want?" Lily asked politely.
"Sure I would love too." Maria gave her a death glare. What is she doing?
As they walked to their favourite bar, Maria could feel eyes on her... Multiple eyes. Not again!
They soon found themselves sitting on their favourite booth before ordering their drinks. Somehow Maria had wind up sitting between Ted and Natalie.
"So Natalie, are you a New Yorker?" Lily asked excitedly.
"No I'm from Russia."
"Then what are you doing in New York?"
"A friend of mine lives here. I came to give her a good news."
"Oh really what's the good news?" Marshall asked.
"Sorry can't tell. It's a secret!" It's classified.
Everyone's faces turned up into a smirk. Uh oh, this is not good. Damn you Natasha. Why'd you had to say a 'secret'?
Unknown to anyone except Natalie, Barney was trying to feel his hands on her legs. She had to slap his hands away when he didn't reply to Lily's question.
As Maria saw her friends trying to poke at Natalie's secret, she felt someone tap on her left thigh. She looked down to see Natalie tapping her finger continuously on her thigh. She was communicating in morse code.
'You're being followed hill. All around the clock since yesterday. 12 mens at least. Mens with tattoos. Group of international robbers you busted last month.'
Maria gripped her beer's bottle tightly, as she realised her lack of concentration. She should have seen them. If Lily hadn't kept her cooped up in her house...
The brown-head ice queen nodded her head at her red-head friend. I need another drink.
With that she ordered one more beer bottle before gulping it down as her friends watched her.
"Robin, are you ok?" Ted asked.
"Yeah, what's wrong with me?" Maria answered while laughing.
Just then, the bar's door opened and 6 big, bulky, tattooed men entered. They sat right infront of Maria's booth while starring at her and her friends.
"Is it me or those guys are starring at us as if we stole their teddy bears?" Marshall said leaning closer to Lily.
"Yeah, and woah, those tattoos are really big!" Lily said.
"I might look like bones and muscles but I'm not the one to be mistake as a girl." Barney said as he moved a little closer to Natalie as one of the guys was literally burning him with his intense gaze.
"They're might be after your suit, Barney." Ted said as a joke.
"MY SUITS are my suits, ok? Ladies loves suits. They're legendary!"
"Oh please not legendary again!" Ted said as he remembered the last time he was arrested at the airport for barney's legendary talks!
"I like your friends." Natalie said to Barney, who nodded in response.
"Yeah, they're awesome." Barney said suddenly. "Speaking of awesome, I'm great in bed. So my place or your place?"
"Anywhere you like."
"So my place it is. Ok guys, Natalie and me are gonna take a break from you wannabes so goodbye." He said straightway before pulling a happy Natalie with him out the door. Woah. Natasha seemed pretty excited for sex. I wonder what happened between her and Barton?
Maria scowled at her friend. He took the only asset that could've helped her in handling these robbers. Not that she can do it herself, its just, her friends needed a distraction while she took care of these mens.
"Looks like someone was in a hurry." Ted smiled at his friends antics.
"Hey Marshall, how did you go in that test of yours?" Maria asked as an idea formed in her head.
"Test?..Oh no, I forgot my test paper at the university." Marshall said suddenly. Fear flashed on his face. "Ted, come with me."
"What.. Now?"
"Yes now!"
"Come on dude, I haven't even finished my drink yet." Ted said as he help up his half-finished beer bottle.
"Just take the bottle with you ted. Anything to do with marshall's test paper should never be avoided. I learned it the hard way." Lily mused as she remembered the time she tried to distract Marshall from his test and ended up sore all morning.
"Angry and stressed Marshall is sooo not good in bed. If you don't want to clean the house tomorrow morning, you better take him." Lily pointed out. At the mention of 'cleaning the house', ted bolted out of his seat with Marshall. Cleaning the house is sooo not his style.
Great, that leaves Lily now.
"Lily, I'll be right back" receiving a nod from her friend, maria stood up to go to the bathrooms. Huh.. Another incident.. Same bar.. Same place. I wonder why the corps hadn't flooded this place yet? Or why isn't this pub famous for the number of times a body is found here.
She knew that 4 of the guys had followed her. They hadn't entered the ladies but after few seconds, they did. At that time Maria was ready, she didn't waste a moment and attacked them. Their big, lean structure gave them strength but not brains. Maria's small, thin frame was a advantage to her. She used her body and speed to produce small punches that were more greater in magnitude. Slipping and twisting were her main techniques against them. By the time she was done, luckily only one cubicle was broken. Placing the bodies in the same broken cubicle, she rushed out of the bathrooms only to meet Lily on the way.
"Lily" she said startled.
"Robin" Lily smiled. "I was just heading to the toilets.."
"Oh the toilets are broken. It's in repair. Let's go back home." Maria said quickly before pushing Lily back in the crowded area of the pub.
"But-"
"Guys" the bartender interrupted Lily and waved at them. "You forgot to pay."
As Maria fished her hand inside her purse to get some bills out, she looked around the pub to see any potential threats while the bartender was flirting with her.
"Yeah, yeah, keep the change." She said as she threw the money at him.
"Robin, but-" Maria interrupted Lily by pulling her out of the bar.
"Robin, what going on?" Lily asked worriedly.
"Oh, nothing. I just need to get home. I'll drop you. Come on." Maria said in a hurry. Damn it. Please don't find the bodies yet. I need to get Lily safe.
"But I don't wanna go home."
"Lily please.." Maria pleaded as she tried to think of an excuse. "Fine! We'll go back to the mall but we're going to Victoria secret first."
"Um..okay."
"Come on then." The spy pulled her friend towards the mall. So much for mall phobia.
Imjustalineimjustalineimjustalineimjustalineimjustaline
Entering the lingerie shop, the first thing they saw was pink lingerie. Like really really pink lingerie.
"What's with the pink? It kind of turns Marshall off." Lily stated as she watched all the girl freaking out at the amount of pink shades.
"I don't know." Shaking her head, she pulled Lily towards the red lingeries.
"I need something for my sleeping. The old ones are getting itchy." Maria said as she pretended to search through the rack.
"Oh ok. I'll be on the blue side." Lily said before disappearing of to the blue rack. The lingerie shopping will keep Lily busy until Maria deals with the robbers. Maria took this moment to sneak out of the store before tracking the other 8 robbers who were still following. They were all dressed as regulars, keeping an eye on her. Knowing they would make a move if they see Maria alone, she purposely pretended to be alone and walked around the mall to keep herself in their sight. She lured them to the nearest fire place exit before pretending to tie her shoe laces. The trick worked. They used that to cover her head with a black hood before pushing her inside the fire place exit.
Securing her arms behind her, the hood is pulled off. She squinted her eyes to see 6 males all surrounding her including the one holding a knife against her cheek. Hmm.. That must be the leader.
She could see the stairs leading to other floors and also a long reel of water hose.
"Robin Scherbatsky. How nice to finally meet you." Said the guy with the knife.
"Who.. Who are you?" Maria said playing the innocent reporter act.
"You might not remember me, sweetheart. I'm Yuval." Ugh, sweetheart?! No-one calls me a sweetheart you bastard. "I'm the leader of 'The Red Circle". A international robber's group that you busted last month with your little mic and camera."
"What do you want?" She said again acting scared.
"You. I want you Robin Scherbatsky. You got my boys arrested, now I want you to pay for what you did. A simple everyday revenge." Maria masked her face with fear.
"Please. Please don't hurt me. I'll do anything."
The males laughed at her.
"Shh.. Don't cry. I haven't done anything and you're already crying like a little girl." I'll show you who's the little girl.
"Wonder what happens when we take her back to the base?" A guy laughed from behind her. Huh.. So they have a base.
"Yeah, the boys will eat her alive."
Maria struggled against the hard grip a bit to stay in her character. She's one step away from snapping their necks.
"Oh Scherbatsky. Don't worry. You won't be alone in this. You're friend, Lily wasn't it?, will be joining you in this. My boys went to collect her." The leader said happily as he slides the knife to her neck creating a thin line of blood. Maria gritted her teeth as she felt her skin open. She realised there were only 6 of them here. There should be 8. I need to get to the other two before they get Lily.
"You should have kept your mouth shut Scherbatsky. I don't like girls who are too smart for their own good." He said as he brought his face closer to her face. "Especially who thinks they can outwit me. Tell me Scherbatsky, who were those mens in black suits that took my boys. I can't seem to get them out of prison. When did corps started wearing black suits?"
Dropping her helpless act, she smirked at him. Time for some nonsense.
"I don't know but if it makes you feel better my friend wears suits too. Lot of suits. You see, he has this obsession with suits and-" on and on it went. She gave him a full biography on barney's suit which was totally unnecessary and irrelevant to her 'little kidnapping'. In reality she was just stalling him. Talking about barney's obsession was the best stalling method up to date. No-one would know what your exactly going on about. The moment he had leaned on her, she used her loud voice to hide the click of a lighter she had in her hands. She lighted the litter and held it close to a guy's shirt behind her. From then on she waited for the fire to catch.
"I asked you the name of the mens in black uniform not a biography on suits!" He interrupted her.
"Ohhhhhh.. Sorry. Just got in the moment." She said as she dragged the 'oh' longer than expected.
That's when she heard it. A loud scream. She waited until she felt the grip on her hands loosen. Suddenly, she pulled her hands away before kneeing the leader on his front and pushing him back. Using her years of acrobatics, she jumped on the guy to her left before using his weight as her medium to swing her legs around to kick the other guys. More acrobatics resulting in more kicks before using the water hose as her tool. Now, these guys were twice the size of her so she had to use other tactics to bring them down than just punching. Because let's admit it, punching the big guys never works. You just end up breaking your own hand. It's like their bloody skins are made of steel.
Breaking three necks, she pounced on the other three. The first one smashed his head against the railings due to his own foolishness before Maria had flunked him over the railings making him fall 3 floors down. The second one used his gun at her but she removed the clips before he could even press the trigger and hit his head with the side of his own gun. She needs at least one of them alive for questioning. The leader would have been her first choice if it wasn't for her gut feeling that tells her not to trust the guy. And over the years, she learned to trust her gut feeling. It won't be wise to ignore it.
Making sure the unconscious hippo is out of the way, she turned to the leader which had fear written on his face.
"Who.. Who are you?" He said as he pointed his big knife at her.
"You're worst nightmare." She muttered before pouncing at him. He easily avoided her frame before going in for the kill. She barely dogged the knife before climbing on his back. Using her well calculated moves she managed to bring him down.
"Tell me, where's you base?" She screamed as she tightened her grip.
"TELL ME!"
"Someplace you'll never find."
"We'll see about that." She muttered as she broke his wrists. He screamed in pain.
"Feeling good?" She teased.
"I'll never tell you even if you kill me."
"So be it." With that she twisted his neck, successfully breaking it, ending his life immediately. Getting her gun out, she left the fire place exit before running towards to Victoria secret while keeping her eyes open for the remaining two people.
Entering the store, she saw how Lily was still looking through the racks to fit her needs. But the thing her friend didn't notice was two dark mens standing few paces away behind her. One had a horrible scar on his cheek and the other one was a blonde. Obviously the scar-face signalled the blonde to go infront of Lily but out of her eye sight.
Tucking his gun in his jacket, he walked towards Lily before tapping her back to grab her attention.
Maria didn't know what they were saying but by the look on Lily's face, it has to be something pretty bad. She hid behind some racks as she watched her friend being pulled out of the store by the two criminals. They didn't show any signs of hostility. Just that Lily was following them with a worried expression painted on her face. How are they even allowed in here? Where's was the fucking manager?
Noticing that the boys were taking Lily to the same fire place where Maria had busted the leader, she followed them. Lily was freaking out and kept repeating 'Robin' every few seconds. As soon as the boys were out of the public's eye, they didn't waist a moment in grabbing Lily by her arms and knocking her out with their guns. Her unconscious body hit the floor as the blonde opened the door to greet his leader. Maria used that opening to her advantage. Since she was behind them, it was easy for her to take the lead. Aiming her gun, she shot the scar-face right on his head, thus killing him instantly. Well, that was easy!
The blonde saw his partner hit the floor before whipping his own gun out. He moved his eyes around to see the attacker. Unfortunately for him, he suddenly stopped moving as Maria saw a knife sticking out of his upper chest. He struggled until it finally took his life before dropping on the floor like a dead sack.
"You're welcome, Hill." She heard a sweet voice. Peeling her eyes of the blonde she looked up at the attacker... Natasha. The red head smirked at her friend.
"You know I had everything in control." Maria said as she tucked her gun back in.
"I know. But I love surprising people. I don't need a invitation."
"Yeah, maybe because when you come, you bring trouble." Maria joked.
"Maybe. But I still love barging in." The Assassin smirked again.
"Where's Barney?"
"Kiara is entertaining him."
"Kiara? But he was with you?"
"He is but he's also with Kiara." Thats when it hit her.
"That girl in the bar..it wasn't you? It was Kiara pretending to be you? She must have those SHIELD masks on. No wonder.. you looked... I mean she looked... so excited for sex with Barney. Damn " Maria muttered as she saw the Assassin checking Lily's breathing. And here I thought Natasha and Barton finally broke up. I guess the jealous girls at the base will never forgive Natasha for stealing their hot archer.
"I had some other issues to take care of so I asked Kiara to do a little favour. Besides she needed a sex buddy. We all do. With all the frustrations and insanity in this job, it's important to let some steam out." Maria smirked at the prospect of Barney feeling sore tomorrow. "She's alive. Just knocked out."
"I know that." Maria said. "There's one alive inside that exit. Take him HQ. He might be able to tell us about their secret base." Natasha opened the door to see more sets of bodies lying around. She picked up the hippo on the side as he was the only one who was breathing.
"What am I going to do with Lily?" Maria asked herself.
"Don't worry, hill. You'll think of something. Besides these things are going increase in numbers now. So be ready."
"What do you mean?" She asked confusingly.
"Didn't Coulson tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
Natasha took a deep breadth before pulling out a brand new badge.
"Congratulations Agent Hill. You have been promoted to deputy director's post." She said as she handed the new badge to Maria. "Fury trust you with this responsibility so he made you his assistance. You're the boss now."
The said deputy director stared at the Assassin.
"You're joking, right?"
"Do I look like I'm joking, hill?" Natasha said eyeing her friend in annoyance.
Maria didn't answer her friend. She took the badge before placing it inside her pocket.
"You're still have to stay in your current cover until you get a green light from fury. Till then you'll be handling SHIELD 24/7. It's up to you how you do things.. Unless fury orders you to." Natasha continued. "Go to the base tomorrow to check your new reports from fury. And please make sure you give agent Hand and Sitwell a hard time. Their attitudes are getting on my nerves."
Maria smirked at the mention of "Agent Hand and Sitwell'. Hand was a up tight strict lady who would do anything to complete a mission even sacrificing the agents without their knowledge. That's what pisses Maria off. Hand hated Natasha because of Natasha's history. A assassin loose in SHIELD? Not a good idea in her mind. She even tried her tactics on Natasha once. Unfortunately for Hand, Natasha survived and from then on both Hand and Natasha hated each other more than ever. But she's still a very good agent. Sometimes a little sentimental too. And Sitwell was a bastard. She'll make sure he stays below Coulson. There's always something off about that man.
"Anything else?"
"Nope. I'm just waiting for extraction." Natasha looked at her watch. "Let's just hope your friend survives Kiara's anger today. A drug dealer insulted her family, she took it out by blasting him into pieces. But the steam is still there."
Both the girls smiled at each other. Soon in next ten minutes, all the bodies were cleared up by the back up crew and the hippo was securely tied and strapped.
"Bye, hill." Natasha said as she followed the other agents through the back exit.
"Where's the birdie?" Maria called out.
"Dealing with ghost protocols!" Natasha replied mysteriously.
Maria looked down to Lily. It's only been 5 minutes when she got tired of waiting. She shook Lily to wake her up.
"Lily. LILY! Wake up!"
"Wha..." Her friend's mouth opened. She opened her eyes to look at Maria.
"Robin?... Oh Robin, those security guys told me that you had fainted on the stairwell. I was really worried. Are you ok? And why does my head hurt so much? Oh god." Lily started frantically as she held her head in her hands.
"I'm fine Lily. What do you remember?"
"Just that I followed them to someplace and then... I don't know..I felt a hard pain on my head." Her friend said as she tried to remember the details. Maria gave a sigh of relief.
"It's ok, Lily. You had a heat stroke. I had felt a little wooshy and sat down on the stairs for a while. They thought I was sick or something. I told them to call you but you fainted before you could make it to the stairs. Are you feeling alright now?"
"Yeah, I guess. But I didn't feel anything. How could I just faint like that?" Lily looked at her friend worriedly.
"Maybe you should get yourself checked." Maria said cryptically thinking of an excuse.
"Yeah maybe I should."
"Let's leave before the guards come back with an ambulance." Maria said as she pulled her friend up.
They had just reached the subway when Maria heard Lily say something.
"I don't know what happened but today was a really weird day."
"Yeah it was." Maria agreed as she thought of her future life. This is only the beginning.