A/N:i said that i'd stop writing for a while but my hypocritical tendencies got the best of me... or maybe its because of the watermelon and coffee i just had a while ago..?? hmm.... my head's dizzy. look! a dancing leprechaun! ...... so....i got the urge to finish the diary stories of the west even though my head's been spinning all day. so be warned, i wrote this while i was high on watermelons and coffee...
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans and i never will. but i'm cool with that. oh and i also don't own the songs here either. i just own the story and the chaotic lyrics. have fun reading. XP
M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_MM_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M
It was a beautiful Sunday morning. The sky was bright. The bees were buzzing. The birds were chirping. And Cinderblock had just stolen money from a bank. This was one of his daily morning exercises. And here comes his jogging buddies, the Teen Titans. The heroes swiftly intercepted the villain and was now blocking his way.
"Drop the money Cinderblock!" Robin demanded. Cinderblock just grunted. He strained his voice at last night's Evil Villain's Alliance Corporation's karaoke contest and h didn't feel very well and in case you're wondering, Cinderblock won second place and Slade is still the reigning champion.
"I said drop the money!" Robin readied his staff while the other Titan's got into their position. Cinderblock glared at the Titans. No one made their move yet. They were standing their ground, assessing the situation. The atmosphere was starting to turn dark and heavy. A small bead of sweat formed on the Boy Wonder's face and started trickling down. It passed by the cheek, then the chin, then… it dropped to the ground.
"Titans g—oof!!!" before the masked leader could finish the command, Cinderblock threw the money sacks at Robin. He quickly recovered himself only to see the villain raising his hands up and surrendered. The police took the cement-head into their custody. The villain smiled and was looking forward to the ginger ale that the prison served. They had the best ginger ale, he thought, and decided that he'll just do his job when his voice gets better. Hmmmm… ginger ale…..
"That was… unexpected…" the wonder boy stared as the police truck left the scene.
"Is it just me, or are the villains this week kinda slippin'?" Cyborg asked.
"Who cares? Dude, we got to finish earlier. This means more time to play Donkey Kong!" Beast Boy was excited. Robin raised his brow and frowned.
Giggle.
"Huh?" the boy wonder turned around and saw that Starfire was giggling and flying around Raven. The Tamaranian was giddier than she usual. And this intrigued him, so he went near to investigate.
"What are you guys talking about?" the two girls stopped talking and looked at their leader.
"Starfire was just talking about her crush— mfff!" Starfire quickly covered Raven's mouth before she could say anymore. The red-head's face was burning red.
"A crush? Who is it? Is it someone I know?" Robin was now very interested. The Tamaranian looked away, her face still red.
"It is something that I cannot talk about." Robin couldn't believe that Starfire was keeping something from him.
"What? Why? It's just me Star."
"And it is because you are Robin that I cannot tell you." the Tamaranian's words were final and she floated towards home.
Because that I'm me!?! What does that mean?? Do I look like a guy that can't keep secrets??It's just a stupid crush! Robin was upset and kept ranting in his head. Just who is this guy anyway?? What's so bad if I know??? The only reason I can think of as to Star wouldn't want me to find out is…. Robin started to blush at to where his trail of thought was going. No…. but then again…. No…. no… I have to make sure. But Starfire won't tell me and Raven isn't the type to tattle. There's only one way I can find out. But this move is as dangerous as hell. Robin's face was grim but determined.
"No way man!" Cyborg was shooing the masked boy away from his room.
"C'mon Cy! I'm just gonna borrow it!" the leader didn't move from his spot and still tried to negotiate with the elder Titan.
"I said, no way. Last time I left, I found my robo half with a hole on its head. And I'm pretty sure it didn't put that hole on by itself."
"I'm not gonna break it! And think of this as returning a favor when I let go on your date with Bee last week!"
"Wait! How did you!?" the robo-man stared at the masked boy suspiciously, "Are you keeping tabs on me!??"
"I was just monitoring you. I was worried when I saw the tracker wasn't where you said you'd be."
"Of all the dirty..! That's it, I am definitely not gonna lend this to you." Cyborg began pushing the leader out of his room.
"Wait!! C'mon!! I'll do anything! Just lend me the robot!!" Cyborg stopped and peered at the leader.
"Anything???"
"Yes, anything!" the elder Titan crossed his arms on his chest and began thinking.
"You do the poop duty. Three months."
"Deal. Thanks Cy!" Robin took the Cyborg's hand and shook it.
"Yeah, yeah… consider yourself lucky that we have an alien moth worm for a pet." Robin quickly carried the robot and began exiting Cyborg's room. The masked boy halted when he was in front of the open door.
"By the way, Cy…"
"What is it?"
"Bumblebee was actually right. Tomatoes really are fruits y'know." and with that piece of advice Robin ran towards his room.
"FIND A NEW HOBBY YOU SIREN-PHILIC STALKER!! AND MAKE SURE YOU BRING THE ROBOT BACK IN ONE PIECE, AND DON'T LET BEAST BOY ANYWHERE NEAR IT!!!!" A faint "yeah, yeah." reply was heard before the masked boy completely disappeared from Cyborg's sight.
"Dude, what's the big deal calling me? I was in the zone!" Beast Boy complained as he entered Robin's office. The changeling froze as he saw the robo-Cyborg. A grin crawled into his face. "Sweet! How'd you get that from Cyborg? He didn't want anyone getting near that when the robot got mysteriously trashed last time."
"I told him that we'd do poop-duty for three months." Robin took out the USB cable from the robot and plugged it into the computer.
"What do you mean we!?" Beast boy crossed his arms on his chest and pouted.
"Do you or do you not want to press the shiny buttons on the remote?" Robin held out the robots new remote that was shining. Beast Boys eyes glimmered. His ears dropped down and he started drooling.
"Shiiiiinnnyy….. Must…. Press... pretty buttons… Must…cause… pandemonium." The changeling was floating towards the remote, still drooling.
"I thought so." Robin threw the remote to Best Boy. The changeling caught it, sniffed it and rubbed it on his face. "Oh, and when I said we, I meant you." The changeling was still in a daze and absent-mindedly agreed to what the masked boy said.
"Now to hack all the computers in this building." The young leader began typing in keys.
"Why are you hacking in our own computer?" Beast boy asked. (He was no longer too bedazzled by the remote.)
"I'm gonna try to see if Starfire has a diary in her computer."
"What are gonna do with Star's diary?"
"I'm going to find out who Star's crush is."
"What? You mean you're doing all this just to find out Starfire's crush??" Beast Boy couldn't believe it at first. Until he figured out why. He smiled and put his arm around his leader and sheepishly grinned. "You wanna know if Starfire likes you too, huh Robin??" the changeling started poking the masked boy's cheeks. Robin's face turned red and he scowled.
"What's with the 'too'? I'm just concerned. You never know, this guy might be evil and uh… I'm doing this for her." Beast Boy rolled his eyes. He didn't believe the masked boy one bit. Robin finished with his hacking as the robo-Cyborg's eye turned red.
"There. But before we go further… Beast Boy, go get the thing inside the box over there." Robin pointed at a metal box at beside the robo-Cyborg. Beast Boy obeyed and took the object from the box. The changeling frowned. He was confused with what he was now holding.
"Uh…Rob, you sure this is what you want m to get?" the changeling held out what looked like a mini rocket launcher.
"Positive."
"Ookay… I don't know what this has to do with Star's diary though."
"It's just for emergencies." The changeling stared at the leader, still confused. "Just in case the robot might haywire."
"Hmm… good enough for me. But why do you need the robot for anywayz? Can't you just hack the diary through that computer? " Robin frowned.
"If I were to do that I'd have to disable all our security system and Cyborg will find out I'm hacking his computer system." Beast Boy didn't retort. He also knew how the mechanoid goes crazy when people mess with his creations.
"Right. So how are you gonna hack without getting caught?"
"I kind of downloaded the encrypted files that are stored in the main computer's memory system and made the robo-Cyborg a temporary memory bank. I was able to sift the files and excluded our own files and some unnecessary files in the download. So if this works out fine, only Cyborg, Raven, and Starfire's files are in the robot."
"How did you exclude our files?"
"I just type in the needed passwords."
"Cool! Wait a minute… you know my password!?!" Beast Boy accidentally threw away the rocket launcher when he frantically raised his hands. Robin ignored the changeling's question and sighed.
"Let's give it a test run first… let's use Cyborg's files." Robin typed in some keys and mashed the buttons on the remote. Nothing happened at first. Just then, the robo-Cyborg took out its magically disappearing/reappearing mic and spoke.
"Hello! Thank you once again for choosing robo-Cyborg as your choice for your musical experience." The robot used the same female commercial voice.
"Again?" Beast Boy had forgotten last time's undertakings because of personal safety reasons. One that involves him not being gagged, stuffed, and thrown into the sea by Robin.
"Please wait a moment as I skim through the files. Tee hee."
"Tee.. hee?" Beast boy felt his stomach churn.
"Believe me, it's said worst things before." The robot made a ting-ing sound.
"Thank you for your wait. Please seat back, relax, and enjoy." The robot's hologram started to do its work and changed its clothes. The robot was now wearing tights. Yes, tights. It was red and it glittered in every side. The robot seems to like glitters. The upside was that the lower portion of the tights was long and covered its bulky legs. Oh, and it was wearing thick, burgundy platform shoes. The two Titans stared in fright.
"Robin.. are you sure you got the right files..?" Beast Boy and Robin was slowly backing away towards the door.
"I'm sure! Let's just try to assess things. Let's see.. The robot usually wears the costume of the person it's talking about… and uh…"
"But none of us wears a twinkling red suit with platform shoes.!"
"I know that! Hold on… if the robot is supposed to impersonate Cyborg then it doesn't need to use its hologram since they both look the same… and I'm sure that the files I downloaded are only within the tower and I'm sure that I chose Cyborg's files.. So the only explanation I can find as to why the robot's dressed like that is…." Robin stopped his retreat.
"Robin…? If I get this right, you mean that that robot is really impersonating Cyborg..?" Robin didn't answer; he was just staring at the robot in disbelief. Best boy began to follow his leader's trail of thought and his eyes widened. "No way…" the robot began its song after a "boo-yahh".
Song: I'm Too Sexy
I look sexy in my car, so sexy in my car
Just me and my baby
All suspicion and fear that was surrounding the two earlier were now completely gone when they heard the first two lines.
"Yup. That's definitely Cyborg's." Beast Boy's words were adamant.
"That guy needs to find a new hobby."
"Yeah. He should go find himself a girlfriend!"
"Beast Boy.. He already has a girlfriend."
"Oh… right…" the song continued.
I like to wash it every day, to touch it every day
I love you my baby
Coz I look sexy in my car, so sexy on my car
So sexy by far
The robot began dancing around and doing "sexy" poses. The two Titan's spines shivered as they watched. They don't know which is scarier: seeing the Cyborg look alike wearing tights while doing horrific poses or the fact that they can actually imagine the real Cyborg doing this.
"Hey Rob. I think we've seen enough."
"Yeah.. I think so too." Robin was about to press the remote to stop the robot when Beast Boy suddenly heard the next lines.
And I'm damn sexier than robin
Way sexier than beast boy
Check out my booty dancing.
The robot began shaking its booty.
"What do you mean you're sexier than me!?" Beast boy slapped Robin's hand.
"Ow!" the masked boy dropped the remote. "What the hell Best boy!?"
"NO one touches the remote! I'm gonna show this stupid robot what sexy is!" Beast Boy went beside the robot and began shaking his booty as well. Robin slapped his face.
"Where did that remote go?" Robin searched for the remote.
I'm so gorgeous and my car's off the beat
As I wipe a little dirt of my baby
Yeah, it's so sexy, me and my baby
I'll wipe that little dirt off-
The music stopped. Beast Boy also stopped in mid-booty swing.
"Hey!!!! What gives!?? I was so about to own that guy!" Beast Boy pouted in complaint.
"Beast Boy. You were doing a useless showdown with a bulky tight wearing robot."
"So you're saying he's sexier than me?!"
"Hell, NO."
"So you think I'm sexy??" Beast Boy's eyes shimmered as he batted them. Robin felt very very awkward. He was about to say a blunt no but decided against it. Beast Boy will just keep on pressing him to admit the he was sexy so he figured to tell the changeling a big fat lie.
"Yeah.. Sure.. You're sexy!" Robin gagged. Beast boy, on the other hand smiled and giggled like a little school girl. "Sexy like a pregnant hippo…" the masked boy added flatly. "Anyway, since we know the robot works it's time I find out who this crush is." Robin mashed the buttons and the robot's eye began glowing once more. Robin held his breath and waited. Nothing happened.
"Uhh.." a vain popped on Robin's head.
"STUPID MACHIINE!!! WORK!!!" The masked boy was savagely banging the head of the robot with his fist when the familiar female voice spoke.
"I'm sorry, the file that you wish to open is written in Tamaranian. The internal translator is very limited in Tamaranian and could only translate a small portion. Do you still wish to continue?"
"What!?!" *grumble* *grumble* "Fine! I just need to get a name anyway." Robin chose continue on the screen and pressed enter on the keyboard.
"Dude, can't you just ask Star who her crush is?" Robin glared at the changeling. "Never mind… hehehe. I guess…you already tried that… and… oh, look! The robot's working now!" Beast Boy pointed at the robot hurriedly as the masked boy's hands were about to strangle him. The robot was carrying a guitar and sat on a tall stool that it got from out of nowhere. It was now wearing the familiar purple two piece suit of the Tamaranian and it also had a long red wig on its head. It began strumming the guitar, it screamed "boo-yah" and sang:
Song: Bubbly
I know it's him.
"Hmm… maybe Star has a crush on me!" Beast Boy proudly stated. Robin punched him hard.
"Shut up. I'm trying to listen."
I've been dreaming for a while now
A boy's face that I've come to think now
The reason why my heart begins to race
Every time I see his serious face
"Well, that last line sure took you off the list." Robin snickered.
"Waddya mean by that? I can be serious!" Robin ignored the little green boy once again. "Hmp!"
I think I'm in love
I feel free as a dove
His eyes are so cold but this I know
His smile is so warm
Please say I'm yours now
Till the end of time
As my love grows
"C'mon! C'mon! Say the freaking name already!" Robin was getting impatient. He was holding himself back from dismembering the singing robot.
We're dancing now beneath the rain
I smiled so wide and I said your name.
"Yes! There we go!" the masked boy's eyes widened and his entire body was tingling with anticipation.
Bumgorf!
"What?" Much to the wonder boy's disappointment, the robot could not finish the song in English and started singing a weird song in Tamranian. Robin was stupefied with what just happened. The robot kept on singing the weird Tamaranian song.
"Hey, Robin." Beast Boy whispered, "I think the robot isn't speaking English anymore." Another vein popped on the leader's head and he waved his hands angrily on the air.
"Raaaaghh!!! Stupid robot!!!" the masked boy couldn't think clearly with what he was going to the robot, so he began biting it. Beast Boy was about to restrain the angry leader when he stepped on something. There the remote lay under the changeling's foot. Robin must have dropped it when the vein popped on his head. Suddenly, an idea came into the changeling's mind. Robin said that Star, Cy, and Rae's files are in the robot… Hmm… I wonder... a mischievous grin slowly appeared in the changelings face and he raced to the computer and began typing like mad. Robin was still busy trying to gnaw his way through the metal object. When Beast Boy finished with what he was doing in the computer he took out the remote and began mashing the shiny buttons. The robot's hologram disappeared and Robin noticed this.
"Beast Boy! Stop messing with the robot! I'm still busy biting it!" the masked boy tried to show his angry fangs at the changeling but there really wasn't much teeth left intact. That's what happens if you gnaw on something you're not suppose to boys and girls, so remember to brush your teeth twice a day.
"But aren't you curious what Raven thinks in that hooded head of hers?" Robin thought for a while. Well… I'm a little bit curious. Robin was actually really curious. After all, who wouldn't want to know what that mysterious goth girl is keeping secret? The masked boy stopped trying to masticate the robot and went beside the green boy.
"Just one entry. After that, I'm going to continue where I left off."
"Deal! I'll even get you a napkin and eating utensils if you want." Beast boy mashed the buttons once more. The robot's hologram started to work but what it changed into wasn't what the two expected. The robot was wearing a big puffy-like pink hat with a strawberry on it. It was wearing a pink shirt and jeans.
"Maybe I picked a wrong file." Beast boy mumbled. The robot kneeled down and placed its hands on its side and made a baby-like "boo-yah" before it sang:
Song: Cuppycake
"Hmm… the song sounds like something you find in a nursery rhyme. Should we stop it?" Beast boy readied his fingers on the remote.
"Let's just wait for the lyrics Beast Boy."
I hate those stupid jokes, piercing noise
Those cold pizzas on the floor, good thing I have my tea
Or else I just might, downright
Bring them all to hell, and burn their souls alive
But I don't want them to know, or else I might show
These demon fangs of mine
But I'll remember to sing, dirge songs to you
Now aren't I such a dear..?
The song was fast but the two just felt their souls escape from their body. Their bodies were paralyzed. The song was sung in a cutesy baby voice but the lyrics were pure evil. The robot sang once more while its head turned 360 degrees. Beast Boy couldn't make his fingers press the stop button. He was too scared. Robin was scared as hell too. Luckily, the door opened and the red-head Tamaranian went in. She was surprised with the robo-Cyborg moving and singing in the shadows so she accidentally threw a starbolt at it. The two boy's turned around and saw their red-head savior. The two hugged Starfire and confessed with teary eyes everything they just did. They didn't want to go to Hell. Not after they heard that ghostly nursery tune. But when Starfire heard that they went through her diary she got pissed. It was one of those Kodak moments. A very pissed off and angry Starfire after all, is very rare. It wasn't much of a moment for the two boys though after Starfire was finished with them. I won't tell what she did and did not do. Well… maybe I'll just tell you that she remembered not kill them.
"The two of them started crying and told me what they have done. I was not very pleased with their actions and I, how do you say it? Bombed a fuse??"
"It's blew a fuse."
"Thank you. I blew a fuse and I did such horrible things to them! But what I cannot understand is why I do not feel so guilty as I thought I should…" the Tamaranian covered her face with her hands and started sobbing. Raven rubbed the Tamaranian's back. Apparently, after the savage attack— I mean harsh scolding the red-head had inflicted on the two Titans, she immediately barged into the half-demoness' room and began telling them what had happened. Raven would've normally ignored this, but she saw how angry the Tamaranian was when she entered and the goth girl knew better than to ignore an angry teen girl.
"It's okay Star. I'm sure those two got what they deserved. I mean, they did go through your personal files." Raven tried her best to sound consoling but her monotonous nature still overpowered her voice.
"Do you think so, friend Raven?" the Tamaranian was starting to cool down a bit.
"I know so. So stop sulking. You're getting tears in my bed sheet." The red-head smiled and hugged the goth girl. Raven hesitated at first, but she eventually hugged back.
"Thank you, my friend." The Tamaranian suddenly gasped and stood up. "I just remembered that friend Robin pleaded me to buy a year's worth of herbal tea. I am sorry, but I must go now." The red-head hugged her sister one more time before leaving.
"Take care Star." The Tamaranian smiled.
"I shall. Oh, by the way friend Raven…"
"What is it?"
"You should be weary when writing your diary in the computer. I cannot be so sure if our two companions have fully learnt their lessons."
"Don't worry Star, I don't do diaries. I also only use computers when necessary." With that, the Tamaranian made her way to the store. As the Tamaranian walked by the hallway she suddenly remembered the two naughty Titans say something about never peeking at Raven's diary ever again. The Tamarianan just shrugged and said to herself that maybe she just didn't hear right. Raven did say she doesn't have a diary and the girl was never one to lie about those kind of things.
Back in Raven's room the goth girl was happily reading a book she just bought. As she was reading, she remembered the Tamaranian's question and how she described how frightened the two boys were. Raven smirked and began humming a familiar nursery tune.
**You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum
Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie
You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop
Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye
And I love you so and I want you to know
That I'll always be right here
And I love to sing sweet songs to you
Because you are so dear
W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W__W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W
don't you just love the feeling of ginger ale sliding down your throat? i really found the cuppycake song very irritating when i first heard it. i still find it irritating up to this day but i thought that it's the perfect tune for that situation. oh, and if u noticed i didn't use all oldies song in this story. i just felt like it... what is it mister leprechaun?? you don't have the irish brogue?? there..there.. here, have some watermelon and coffee. it gives you a different type of high. what? you'd rather not try it? okay, have some ginger ale instead. it's good, eh? hmmm....
oh, i already have ideas on what i'm going to do with titans east but i could sure use some help. if you guys are willing, maybe you can give some songs or ideas on what the titans east might be hiding in their closet. i already have speedy's song and lyrics in my mind though... i won't force you guys to review but i'd really appreciate it if you'd guys review my stories.. thanks! =)