The Season Of Giving
by: Sophia
Notes/Disclaimer/Stuff: This fic was written for the wonderful Julie, whose Secret Santa I was (BTW, the entire secret santa thing was organized by the magnificent Sandy). Only it's not really secret anymore. A very merry Christmas to her. She asked for something M/R, with lots of sex. Well, since I'm a law-abiding 16 year old (HA!), I couldn't make it too risque, mainly because a lot of it was written at school. But I did make them have sex a lot. It's not totally M/R focused, but you know what, that's ok. Well, I mean, the final decision is up to Julie, so I hope she likes it. Ok, authors note is getting long. I don't own Mark, Roger, or anyone else. I can't even take credit for the title, which came from a guy in my German class.
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Roger's favorite holiday was Christmas. There were presents, food, shiny lights, more food, and, best of all, sex. Lots of sex. Roger liked the sex best of all. He liked the food, lights, and presents, but the sex really was the best part. It wasn't that he didn't get sex any other time, far from it. But this was special Christmas sex. It wasn't the same kind of special that Valentines sex, Halloween sex, Birthday sex, and all the other kinds were, but it was special in it's very own Christmas sex way.
Roger also loved Hannukah. He thought he was very lucky to have a Jewish boyfriend, because that meant that he got special Hannukah sex every night of the holiday (and this meant eight nights of waxy sex). Roger really loved Jewish people for inventing such a great holiday. Plus, Mark's mother sent them presents too. Usually food. She used to send useful things, like hot plates, but she had since realized that it was much easier to send them a package full of food. Not cheap food, but good food. Ham, and turkey, and cake, and fancy crackers... She was really a good woman, Roger decided.
One thing that Roger really didn't like about Christmas, however, was shopping. This was why him and Mark decided just to have lots of sex for Christmas. Neither of them seemed to mind. But there was still Maureen, Joanne, Benny, and Collins to buy presents for. They couldn't be dealt with in the same way as Mark, because Roger really didn't want to have sex with any of them, except for maybe Benny. But Mark would probably be really mad if Roger did that, so he decided not to.
The real problem with Christmas shopping was Maureen. She had everything she wanted, and if she didn't have it, she would con someone, usually Joanne, into buying it for her. Roger wondered if Maureen had ever actually had a job.
Maybe, Roger thought, Maureen would like something homemade. Homemade things always said that you cared. He looked around the loft, wondering what he could make for Maureen. Handcuffs, cereal, candles, Mark's scarf, moldy potato, Duct Tape... Everyone loved Duct Tape! Of course! He could make Maureen a Duct Tape wallet! He smiled, pleased with himself.
Now, Benny was a problem too. Not as big of a problem as Maureen, because he didn't see Benny as often. He had to get Benny a present, though, because they were supposedly on good terms. So what do you get for a really rich friend who you don't actually like?
Before he could begin to answer this question, Mark came home, and he was interrupted by a round of special Week-Before-Christmas sex. And when that was finished (it took a while), they had dinner.
Roger pondered while he ate, but it was hard to concentrate, because Roger loved food almost as much, if not as much, as he loved sex with Mark, which was a lot. He decided to figure out what to get everyone after dinner. But, of course, dinner was followed by After-Dinner sex. Roger decided that he would most definitely decide after that.
And, suprisingly enough, he did. Maureen stopped by the loft (not while they were in the middle of sex, to Mark's relief and Maureen's dissapointment), and invited Mark to come help her rehearse her latest performance. It wasn't as much of an invitation as it was a command, really, but that was Maureen. While Maureen stood in the doorway impatiently, waiting for Mark to find his coat, Roger decided that Maureen was definitely the type of woman who looked like she needed a Duct Tape wallet.
Finally, Mark found his coat (It was in the make-shift pantry, buried under a large stack of half empty cereal boxes), and they left. Roger was grateful for the chance to think. He would have liked more sex, but thinking was nice too.
So. He had Maureen out of the way, for now at least.
Oh crap, but what about Joanne? Roger didn't even know if Maureen and Joanne were speaking this week. But just to be on the safe side, which he usually wasn't, he should get her something. She didn't really seem like the Duct Tape wallet type, though. Damnit, she was too rich! Roger was bad at dealing with rich people. They were so hard to shop for unless you were rich too. He wondered why he had all these rich friends, and why they never bought him food.
Ok. He would think about Benny and Joanne later. Maybe he would ask Mark. Mark grew up in the suburbs, and was good at shopping for rich people. Good. Now all he needed was Collins. He thought back on all the years he had known Collins, and tried to remember what presents had gotten the best reaction. Had Collins liked it the year Roger had made cookies for everyone? Or was that also the year Collins got violently sick on Christmas Eve? Come to think of it, it was the latter. Collins hadn't even gotten to try the cookies.
Well then, it was settled. He would make cookies for Collins. He would have to borrow Benny's apartment for it, though. Woodburning stoves left a very strange aftertaste on chocolate chip cookies. Him and Benny were on good enough terms, right? Roger figured that apartment-borrowing rights came right along with Christmas presents. And if Benny was nice enough, then he might even get some cookies.
Roger grinned, happy that could finally relax about Christmas presents, and concentrate on the nicer things about Christmas. Like sex. There's a reason they call it the season of giving, you know.