Disclaimer: I don't own GMW. My use of the characters is just for fun.

Notes: Barring any complications, the second part of this will be up within the next couple of days.

"So Riley, is there a particular reason that you've locked your bay window and you're not seeing anyone?"

When her mom slides next to her on the bed, Riley automatically shifts her position to lean against her. "You mean Farkle hasn't just told everyone?" She doesn't try very hard to keep the bitterness out of her voice when she thinks about New Years. It's easy for Farkle to say that there shouldn't be secrets among friends—it wasn't his heart, feelings and relationships the secret was meant to protect. And she knows the argument can be made that she did the same thing to Maya in Texas, but at least it was only in front of their group around the fire; Farkle's revelation had been in front of their entire class.

She can still feel everyone's eyes on her. Can still hear Yogi's awkward exit as everyone rushed to leave the party. The embarrassment she had to get over to out herself over the Riley Awards is nothing compared to this mountain of shame.

"No, I've heard about that from everyone." Topanga admits, sliding her arm around Riley's shoulders. "But I'm not asking what happened. I'm asking why you're not talking to anyone to try and resolve it."

"What exactly am I supposed to say?" It had taken everything in her power not to bolt from the roof with everyone else that night. She hadn't been able to come up with any words then, and in the three days since she still hasn't managed. There's not a single scenario she can imagine now where things go back to the way they were. At least before New Years things had mostly been normal even if she wasn't happy.

Now they know she lied.

Now they know she still has feelings and they're just sitting like a heavy cloud in between all of them.

Now nobody's happy and it's all her fault.

Topanga sighs. "I can't answer that for you, sweetie. Only you know what you're feeling and only you can decide how you want to handle things now."

Least helpful parental talk ever. Her mom may be right, but right now all Riley wants is for someone to tell her 'this is what you did wrong, this is what you can do to fix it'. That or a time machine. Given the Minkus family's tendency towards towards genius inventions the latter seems more likely but she'd probably have to talk to Farkle in order to use it and that leaves her stuck hoping for the first one.

"Riley, why did you lie to Lucas and tell him you loved him like a brother?" Topanga asks after a long silence.

"Because Maya had been hiding her feelings for him and she deserves a chance at-,"

"That's the reason you gave everyone else." Her mom counters. "And I'm sure it's true. But I think there are other reasons too. Reasons that you haven't been sharing. I want to know about those."

It's like being put on the spot in math class on a day when they're covering new material, only it's her mother putting on the pressure. Riley pulls out of the embrace and crosses her arms over her chest. "I thought only I know what I'm feeling."

Topanga takes the thinly veiled jab with grace. "Knowing that there's more to the story is not the same as knowing what it is."

Riley hesitates before answering; she knows her mom isn't going to go running to the rest of her class, but she might still tell her dad, which will probably lead to a thinly veiled lesson in the last couple of days before graduation which is pretty much the same thing. He'd probably even come up with a ridiculous group project to force them all into talking and spending time together and give everyone else another free show. That's not anything she's looking to deal with.

"I could guess if you'd rather." Her mom offers. "Like...were you worried that if things were to get more serious with Lucas and they didn't work out that you'd stop being friends?"

Riley's head snaps over to her mom, eyes wide. "How did you know that?"

"Because," Topanga leans down to nudge Riley's shoulder with hers, "that is the reason your father and I broke up for the first time."

"I thought you only broke up once. When that ski lodge thing happened."

"No. That was the second time. The first was a lot earlier, and neither of us really understood relationships. We were getting comfortable with each other and decided that somehow, that was a bad thing, and I was convinced that if relationships went on too long or got too serious that all breakups would end in bitter feelings, so we chose to break up before that could happen."

At least now Riley knows she's not stupid. Her mom is the most intelligent person she knows and it says something that she understands the potential for disaster hidden in romantic relationships. The breakup in that particular instance may have been wrong, but no other relationship can be compared to her parents'. The odds of meeting your soulmate when you're in preschool are astronomical, and the odds that everything worked out for them so well even higher. "Then you understand."

"I do." Her mom nods slowly. "But I also know now that I was wrong back then."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Not every long, serious relationship ends with two angry people who can't stand the sight of each other." She clarifies. "Look at Shawn and Angela. You saw them at the cafe. Did it look like they hated each other?"

"No, but they weren't exactly friends either."

Again, Topanga agrees. "No, they weren't. Do you want to know who else isn't exactly friends with Angela anymore?"

"Someone else she dated seriously for a few years?" Riley huffs, unable to rein in her sarcasm when she's feeling so off kilter. Why would her mother make her think that she was making the right choice only to just as quickly pull the rug out from under her and call her wrong?

Topanga bypasses responding to the snark once more. "Me." Riley doesn't have a response to that. She has no idea where her mom is going now. "Sweetie, I'm going to tell you something that you probably don't want to hear, and you probably won't believe me. It's not the prettiest truth in the world. But it is the truth, and I wish I had someone telling me this when I was your age.

"In all likelihood, the friends that you have now are not the friends you're going to have by the time you're my age, or when you graduate college. Maybe not even by the time you graduate high school."

"But that doesn't make any-,"

"People change. They find new interests, they go to different schools, they grow apart." Her mom cuts her off with a shrug. "Angela was my best friend. We shared a dorm room, an apartment...she was my maid of honor. But our lives got very different when she went to Europe with her dad and I went to New York with Cory. It wasn't anyone's fault. We just didn't have as much to talk about. We made other friends, had different experiences, and eventually we just stopped reaching out to each other.

"Riley, I know you love your friends now. Maya, Farkle, Lucas...even Zay. But you're growing up and exploring the world and things are changing for all of you. You're finding new interests. You have cheerleading, Maya has art. Both of those things, and what ever else you might discover in high school are going to take up your time and bring new experiences and friends, and who knows? The people you see yourself spending the rest of your life with right now may still be your best friends for the rest of your life, but they might not even be on your radar in a few years. And that's OK. It happens to almost everyone."

No offense to her mom, but that stinks. How is this a problem-solving pep-talk? 'No, Riley, I can't give you any help on how to fix things with your friends or not feel so embarrassed. In fact, you should know that your friends probably aren't going to stick around anyways.' If this is the best her mom can do, maybe she should suffer through the public humiliation of a departure from the history class syllabus. At least her dad tends to lead them towards actual answers...

"So I shouldn't have bothered trying to save my friendship with Lucas because it probably wasn't going to last anyways? That's great."

This time, Topanga doesn't ignore Riley's tone, and gives her a vaguely warning look. "That's not what I'm trying to tell you. My point is that nobody knows what's going to happen in the next few days, let alone the next few months, or years. You can't go through life basing your choices on what-ifs. That's the only sure way I know that you'll end up unhappy."

"That doesn't make any sense." Riley protests. "I was just trying to make sure we'd all be friends."

"Because you care about them and you think it would hurt to not have them around anymore." Topanga prompts.

"Exactly."

"Don't you think that you'll come to care about other people the same way? Are you going to refuse to take a chance on them so nothing ever changes?"

It starts to click in Riley's head. If she doesn't take any chances with the people she cares about, like Lucas, then all she'll ever do is watch other people be happy with them. While she stands off to the side and pretends to be happy for them.

And if what her mom is saying is true, you might as well take the chance that things might get messed up, because they might get messed up anyways.

Unfortunately, none of this really helps her now. She doesn't know what she can say to make things go back to normal from where they've ended up. It's not like Maya and Lucas and the entire grade are just going to forget what Farkle said; everyone knows that her feelings for Lucas aren't platonic or brotherly now and Riley can't imagine a scenario where two people who like each other would want to spend a ton of time with a third wheel who has feelings for one of them. Not that she'd want to interfere when they're happy, but why would they want to take the risk?

It's enough to make her lose all hope. By trying to make everyone but herself happy she's destroyed all of her friendships.

"I've ruined everything, haven't I?"

"Oh sweetie..." Topanga pulls her back into her arms again. "You might have some work to do, and things might not go back to how they were, but I don't think you've ruined anything."

Riley doesn't get to respond. There's a loud, insistent knock, not from her door but from her window. When she looks over she finds Lucas and Maya crowded on the fire escape. Lucas is carrying a plastic shopping bag. Maya is pointing rather insistently at her ring.

Apparently it doesn't matter that she has none of the answers. Maya's calling ring power, and Riley can't ignore that, even if she is dreading what will come of it.

Crap.

Her mom slides off the bed and walks over to undo the latch on the window. "I'll leave you kids to talk." And then she just goes. Leaving Riley on her bed (probably looking like an absolute mess because she's been sulking there for a few days) and Lucas and Maya crawling in through the bay window.

"Riley, we need to talk."

Riley's so frozen in the moment that she's not even sure which one of them says the dreaded words. It feels like all she can do now is delay the inevitable, no matter what her mom says, and it's all she can do not to turn away from them. "There's nothing to talk about." If they don't talk, Maya and Lucas can't tell her that they don't want to be friends anymore; she might not be able to hang out with them anyways because they'll still try to talk but at least it won't be officially over.

"Yes there is." This time she knows it's Maya. "Riley, Farkle said-,"

"What Farkle said doesn't mean anything." She counters quickly.

Lucas is staring her down. "He said you still love me. Is it true?"

She jumps off of the bed to avoid his eyes and rushes over to her desk. She doesn't have to look at either of them there, she just has to mess around with the papers and books on her desk like she's looking for something important. "It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters." Maya scoffs. "Riley, if you still love Lucas then you need to-,"

"What?" Riley turns on her heels, hair flying behind her. "I need to what? Talk about it? Give you guys all the details you need to make sure you want me out of your lives?"

"That's not why we're here!"

"My feelings are my feelings. They're my problem, not anyone else's and it doesn't matter what they are because you guys are happy, and nobody gets to stand in the way with that. So...I'm sorry that Farkle made you curious and all that, but it's my business, not yours. And I'm dealing with it."

The room falls into thick silence and once again Riley feels like she can't move. Maya and Lucas are staring, practically in shock, and her chest feels a little like sinking in on itself every time she exhales. She doesn't even know how long things stay that way, but eventually Maya walks over, grabs her hand and pulls her down to sit on the floor. She sits across from her, crossing her legs.

"What if we're not?" She asks softly.

It's enough to break Riley's own panic. For the moment, Maya is still her best friend and she's got a lost, half-way devastated look in her eyes; Riley has to at least try and fix that. "What if you're not what?"

"Happy."

Lucas slides down off of the bay window bench, joining them on the floor. "None of us have have been talking since Texas. Not really. And none of us know really know what's going on because of that. We should have sat down when all of this started and talked to each other, but we didn't and now things are broken. I don't know about you, but the only way I can think of to fix it is to do what we should have done back then."

"So….we're just gonna sit on my floor and talk until you get the answers you want?"

Maya nods towards Lucas, who starts pulling something out of his bag. "Hopefully we'll all get some answers."

He removes a board game. The Honesty Game. Written in bold colorful letters with a picture showing a group playing and having the time of their lives. All the questions you have about your friends that you've been too polite to ask.

It seems like an extraordinarily bad idea. But her judgment has been off lately. She thought that stepping back was a good idea and look where that got her.

Riley sighs and waves her hand toward the box. "Let's play."