"Is there a reason you're naked in my bed?"
Bruce had had a long weekend. Lucius had insisted that his presence was required at the company conference in Las Vegas. He'd been forced to skip several board meetings and facility tours due to a series of attacks on the League orchestrated by Brainiac, and if he didn't put in some face time, Lucius was certain employee morale was going to suffer. With Brainiac safely behind bars, he had no choice but to acquiesce.
Lucius had once again proved that he was worth every dime Bruce paid him and had thoughtfully scheduled events requiring his presence earlier in the weekend. This presented him the much appreciated opportunity to quietly leave a day earlier than originally expected. Leading to his current situation of trudging tiredly down the hall to his bedroom on Sunday evening instead of Monday afternoon. The trip had left him exhausted, and if he went to bed now he could catch maybe two hours of sleep before joining his boys for patrol.
Nightwing had been watching after both Gotham and its young Robin in his absence. It warmed his heart to see Dick and Jason getting along. Dick had been so furious at him when he had first taken Jason in and given the boy Robin, Bruce had been worried a permanent rift might form between the two. Thankfully, his fears had been misplaced. Dick had kept his anger firmly aimed at Bruce, and the two were quickly growing thick as thieves whenever Dick came to visit. In fact, his eldest had been more happy about being asked to watch after the new boy wonder and his city, than he'd been to get a surprise call from Bruce. He tried not to be envious.
As Bruce opened the door to his bedroom, he weighed the positives and negatives of telling Dick he would be joining them for patrol later. Knowing his son, if Dick was still angry from their last argument he may very well take off for Bludhaven tonight rather than run a patrol with Batman. He didn't get very far in his analysis as his thoughts were violently derailed upon walking into his bedroom. The object of his internal debate was sprawled across his bed as if he owned it. Naked. "Oh God" just because his voice didn't come out its normal growl didn't mean he squeaked.
Dick's eyes had been closed when he had walked in, but they flew open at his exclamation, zooming in on Bruce and doing their best owl impression. "Shit," Dick cursed as he flipped himself over and dove beneath the closest blanket. He popped back up like a cheap Halloween ghost costume or a kitten trapped under a sheet in his hurry to cover himself. It would have been funny, if Bruce's brain hadn't been too busy giving him error messages.
"Why-why would you?" Bruce sputtered, he took a deep breath and tried again, "Dick, is there a reason you're naked in my bed?" His voice was still a few octaves too high.
Dick's poked his head out from under the blanket, "You weren't supposed to be home" he squeaked.
"That doesn't answer my question" Bruce felt himself getting more flustered, "Why are you naked in my bed?!" Was this something boys did when their fathers were gone. He never remembered stripping down and lying in Alfred's bed on the rare occasion the older man wasn't in the manner. Maybe this was a generational thing, some new fad he'd managed to miss.
"Richard, where do you keep your soap?" and with those words the answer came strolling out of his master bathroom, just as naked as his son, the beautiful alien princess Koriand'r, a.k.a. Starfire. An awe inspiring hero and warrior worthy of great respect, also Dick's current girlfriend.
"Oh" Bruce understood what was going on now. He turned his gaze away from Starfire and back to his son. His bed may have been the biggest in the mansion, but this was not something he ever wanted to walk in on again. Especially considering what could have happened if he was five minutes later. They were going to have words.
Dick somehow managed to turn even redder and shoved his head back under the blanket, "You weren't supposed to be home!"