Disclaimer: Orochimaru & Kabuto are not my characters; they belong to the makers of Naruto. Credit goes to them.
Accepts: Reviews, Flames, and kawaii plushies
::I want to thank my all time favorite role-play buddy who inspired me to write this story. She is totally awesome! -psst- She role-played Kabuto.::
"...I want to protect someone precious to me...To work for that person's sake, to fight for that person's sake, to make that person's dream come true. That is my dream..."
Suicidal Love.
Passed the doors of the Sound complex, down the long dimly lit hallways, deep within the chambers of the legendary snake sannin, a hushed conversation could be heard. Followed by the closing of a door as a nin bowed and exited the snake's chambers and glided down the hall; leaving the snake sannin to return to his work silently. A few minutes drifted by until a soft knock sounded at his door. He bid his visitor to enter, without turning away from his work. The door creaked open as a boy-- no a young man entered and moved forward wordlessly to bow before him. Without looking up the snake sannin already knew who his visitor was, because the chakra signature was unmistakable. His visitor was Kabuto; his spy, medic, and right-hand man.
For a long time a deep silence passed between them, causing irritation to rise within the sannin. Finally, he lowered his pen and hissed, "Kabuto!" The young man was not unnerved by his master and slowly raised his head. Sadness burned within his dark green eyes.
"Forgive me...Orochimaru-sama," he urged in just above a whisper. Then went quiet, lowering his gaze to the floor.
Orochimaru frowned, his eyes narrowing into an unforgiving glare. This wasn't the first time Kabuto had come to him seeking forgiveness. He still had anger inside him though. A month ago he had found Kabuto in the arms of another. He'd seen Kabuto gasping and withering with pleasure right before his eyes. Then Kabuto had turned to him, dropped to his knees, and plead that it wasn't what it looked like. The pain had been there, like Kabuto had slapped him in the face, but it ebbed away over shadowed by his rage. Coldly, he had banished Kabuto from his presence until further notice. Kabuto had broken down into tears and he had said hateful words without pity. Kabuto's tears had made him sick inside and a hate for the boy had followed. It fueled him to crippled and hurt Kabuto in the worst possible way, the only way the boy really could be hurt. Not psychically, because Kabuto found pleasure out of pain making him quite the masochist. He had attacked him mentally and gone to the point that Kabuto had contemplated just ending his life in suicide, but he wouldn't let him off so easily. The boy still had his use and he wouldn't dispose of Kabuto until he was completely rendered useless. Which happened to be the only reason that Kabuto had even been allowed before him after about a week.
"Don't waste my time, leave if you have nothing important to tell me." he growled, highly annoyed. After two weeks Kabuto had started this stream of surprise visits in which he tried to gain forgiveness for his actions. The first time he'd been thrown off guard and listened to Kabuto rant about having done it for him. Supposedly he had given his body as payment for crucial information that he would need in the future. He had cut Kabuto off half way through his apology that time with a cruel laugh and sent him away with a threat he intended to carry out then and there if Kabuto hadn't been wise enough to leave. However, a few days later Kabuto returned to try again, only to run out with a kunai stabbed in his arm just inches from a vital area. Now here they were again, and he was already deeply annoyed.
Kabuto shivered and bit his lip, "Please believe me, Master. I did it for you." he plead, calling Orochimaru 'Master' in hopes of calming the sannin. He usually wouldn't be so polite. But he was truly afraid he had gone too far this time and pushed Orochimaru over the edge. What he had done was stupid and he'd kicked himself mental everyday since then as he cried silently in his room. He just wanted to show his loyalty to Orochimaru, even if it had been quite drastic. Why couldn't Orochimaru understand that no matter what he would solely only love him. "You have never questioned my methods before. I got you information from people who would never tell under any torture. But would in the arms of someone they bought" he sighed, his voice soft and his body weary.
A sneer marred Orochimaru's features before he rose and moved toward Kabuto. He had finally snapped; Kabuto had continue to push and push and now he would make him suffer. Grabbing a fist full of the medic's hair, he yanked him from the floor to stand wobbly on his tippy toes with a startled painful yelp. "You act too much on your own. I had other methods and there were other sources from which the same information could have been gained without you sleeping around like a two dollar whore!" he hissed, venom laced in his voice. He had claimed Kabuto for himself and was supposed to be the only allowed to touch him so intimately. Time after time Kabuto claimed to be devoted to him alone and no one else, but his actions clearly spoke differently. He wouldn't allow himself to be fooled again; Kabuto's words meant nothing to him now.
Tears shamelessly streamed down Kabuto's cheeks and dripped to the floor inaudibly. His heart was breaking, something he hadn't even known he had given to Orochimaru. In his mind he could say love to anyone, but the word had held no meaning to him after being hurt so many times in the past. Even so, Orochimaru had given meaning to love for him and gradually made him feel again, when he had thought he'd locked away all his emotions. He could suffer any pain and heal without even blinking an eyelash, but when love crept into his heart it hurt far worse than any physical pain he had ever felt. However, it wasn't always painful; sometimes it was pleasureful and full of whispered endearments that truly warmed him inside. Sure Orochimaru was quite dark and violent in his love, but he complimented the sannin's nature perfectly by being light with innocence and unaffected by his violence because he could heal it away. Besides, the pain could be pleasurable too. "I can't prove to you that you are the only one in my heart, I have never said I love you to anyone. . .anyone. Find a new Spy, I will not do it again. As for being your medic I am not as of now. I am leaving" he turned away from Orochimaru, his resolve was breaking as the thought of never quelling the snake's anger crossed his mind. If he couldn't be with Orochimaru then he didn't have a reason to go on any longer.
Furiously Orochimaru tossed him against the wall, hearing a horrible crack as Kabuto slid down the dented wall. Then he drew his sword, Kusanagi, from his mouth and stalked slowly towards Kabuto's hunched form on the floor. "You are a fool Kabuto. I have no desire to be loved for love is a useless emotion. Furthermore, if your decision is to leave then you shall be treated as the traitorous spy you have always been and will be pursued until eliminated," he stated maliciously, fully prepared to cut Kabuto out of his life forever and the emotions he invoked within him. He wasn't supposed to feel, but be cold-hearted and lethal to all who opposed him.
When Kabuto looked up, blood trailed down the corner of his mouth and agony burned within his eyes. Agony at the fact that Orochimaru had called his bluff and decided to carelessly discarded him after all he had done for him. He felt useless. All he had learned and all he did meant nothing now. He had stretched his talents to the point of killing himself for love and love betrayed him. There was no more reason to live, with out being by Orochimaru's side. He contemplated reached into his pocket for the poison he had secreted away. It had been given to him by one he would consider a rival for Orochimaru's attention to be tested for making an antidote. Now it might be the relief he so badly desired. "...this is the end then..." he muttered quietly to himself in defeat as his hand reached for the poison slowly. "...forgive me Orochimaru...for being so weak in your eyes and such a failure." he choked out, tears falling faster down his face and blurring his vision.
Orochimaru had no time to react as Kabuto yanked the vial of poison from his pocket and downed it in one large gulp. Kabuto began to sway dangerously then slid to the side, the poison traveling fast through his system. He already felt numb and he sighed thankfully in relief as death slowly crept up on him. Being so out of it he didn't notice when Orochimaru catch him and lifted him flush off the floor and into his arms tightly. He couldn't hear his name being yelled again and again as his eyes slid shut and had no idea that Orochimaru took off in a mad dash towards the lab, with him clutched almost lifelessly in his arms.
::Thank you for reading, please R&R -hugs-::