my first story...I hope you like it and please go easy on the reviews! oh and sorry for the racism and this contains a lot of gore, don't read if you don't like this type of thing...I think it added more physique and I don't own any south park characters
Die Stupid Jew!
"Shut up I'm not fat Kenny!" Said Cartmen as he stared intensely at Kenny. "Ha ha ha ha!" Kenny said through his sweat shirt. "You know Cartmens not so bad anymore after that therapy..." Said Stan. "Ha ha! oh what? Ahhhhh..." Kenny said as you could barely understand him. "Ya I'm normal now!" Cartmen spat. "Yeah, now you are! ha ha!" Said Kyle laughing. "Oh you guys...I hate you!" Said Cartmen. "I hope you die!" he said as he ran away to his house from the bus stop. "You know he's not coming back for like a week now...why'd you have to be mean like that man?" Said Stan. "dude, c'mon we're only getting back at him for all the stuff he did to us, it's only fair." Said Kyle. "Oh well I guess it's ok but you know his doctor told us not to be at all mean to him. Although it is kinda hard." "Ya now you got it!" Said Kenny as the bus pulled up to take them to school.
The boys were in line for lunch as they found chef missing and misses crab tree as the substitute. when Stan finally got up to her he was starving got as he got his hamburger he waited for Kyle and Kenny. when they got to there seats they found a whole bunch of snot in stans burger. "oh my god you got to be kidding me that's disgusting!" Said Stan. "dude I so dare you 5 bucks to eat it!" Said Kenny laughing. "dude no way!" Stan Said back "how bout 50 dollars!" Said one of the jocks of the school. "dude-wait! 50? ok!" Said Stan as he started to brace for the impact that was the burger. when he took a bite out of it snot shot and hit some random kid from the school when he got up and yelled "who threw that?!?!" then, after no one answered, he took his spaghetti and threw it in the general direction he got hit from and it hit the jock! "oh my bad sorry!" Said the boy as the jock ran over to him and was about to hit him when all the sudden he yelled "FOOD FIGHT!!!". Within five seconds the whole room was begining to throw stuff.
The boys ran outside as they bumped into Cartmen who looked even more bulgier then normal. "hello you guys. so nice to see you here." Said Cartmen in a emotionless voice. "uhh what's wrong with you fat ass?" Said Kenny. "oh noth- oh yeah I almost forgot why I came back here for. I wanted to give you a surprise Kyle c'mon follow me into the janitors closet." Cartmen Said as emotion started to pour back into his voice. "eww I'm not gay man screw you!" Kyle Said in a disgusted voice. "oh come on its really special cause its too good for Stan and Kenny." Cartmen Said in a persuasive voice. "errm...ok then I'm in!" he Said as he ran into the janitors closet. It was dark inside the closet he could barely make out Cartmens face. "so what is it?" Kyle Said awkwardly. "you know, you really are a asshole. I really thought my life was going to be better after therapy. but it isn't! All thanks to you damn Jew!!!" he Said as he reached down into his pocket and duct taped kyles mouth shut and grabbed a knife all in one swift motion. "Wait what th-" is all he could say before he put the duct tape on. "I want you to feel the pain that you made me feel for a eternity!" Cartmen Said.
he took his knife and slid it across Kyles ankles and Kyle fell with a muffled scream of pain and agony. "I really thought we could be friends after the therapy you know!" Cartmen spat as he cut Kyles coat off and stabbed into his intestines but Kyle was reluctant to die and just screamed all the louder. "die you stupid Jew! I fucking hate you!" Cartmen yelled. "wonder what's taking them so long in there..." Said Stan. "want me to check?" Said Kenny. "no leave the lovebirds alone its time to get back to class..." "ok." Said Kenny as he smiled. Cartmen had already jabbed kyles lungs and Kyle was drowning in his own blood! all the sudden Kyle saw something glinting in the shadows, something sharp. he musters all the strength in his body to try and reach it and then all the sudden he grasps it in his hands and jabs it at Cartmen. Cartmen who was very concentrated grabbed his arm and jabbed it into kyles eye making blood squirt halfway across the cramped closet. "Kyle is now dead. now to get onto Stan. He only makes fun of me behind my back I'm sure of it maybe even more then Kenny!" He growled as he slid off the extra coat he had been wearing just incase things got messy which he expected.
He walked into class and told his friends Kyle went home to play with his new toy which was super cool and that they would never get. "Cartmen were have you been?" Said mr.garrision "oh, well I was showing Kyle something really cool and then he left cause he threw up..." "oh ok then well take a seat and lets begin." Cartmen did as he was told and then heard Stan whisper to him "Dude what gives I thought you Said he went home because of what you gave him!" Stan questioned "Well he did, it's just I had to come up with a better excuse so Mr. garrison wouldn't notice anything." Said Cartmen as he thought on his feet. "oh, ok then never mind." Said Stan as Cartmen was satisyed with his master work. "Oh meet me behind the school near the garbage can ok Stan I got something even better then what I gave Kyle!" Cartmen Said slyly. "oh really? you know your not so bad as you used to be fa-woops sorry habit..." Said Stan almost ashamed "oh don't worry I'm far past that I mean look at how fat I am ha ha!" Said Cartmen kind of awkwardly. "oh well now that you say that you are really fat man its just so funny to rip of you fat ass!" Said Stan laughing rather loudly "boys settle down and don't talk during class!" "sorry mister garrison..." Said Stan and Cartmen at the same time.
After school got out Stan met Cartmen right by the dumpster he told him to be at. "Okay so what do you want to give me Cartmen?" Said Stan kinda awkwardly. "Oh well its something really awesome in the dumpster! just hop in here with me!" Said Cartmen in a voice no one could deny. "oh ok then...but if I get sick from the dumpster I will sue you!" Stan said as he jumped in. "You live like a Jew you bastard..." Cartmen Said under his breath. "what?" Said Stan. "oh nothing your hearing things!" Cartmen Said like he was hiding something. "Errm...well what is it you wanted to show me in here?" Stan Said as he dusted himself off. "oh well its kinda glow in the dark...here I'll get the lid!" Said Cartmen voluntarily. SLAM squeaked the door as it shut. when Stan saw a blood red glint in the dim light he Said "wo what is that?" in a voice that was very non-awe inspiring. "It's the last thing your ever going to see!" he Said as he slammed Stan into the dumpster wall and slid the razor sharp blade over his cheeks cutting them and as he did so Stan screamed so loud it nearly burst Cartmens ear drums. "SHUT THE FUCK OF UP!!!" Cartmen screamed to match his voice as he jabbed the knife into his vocal box then all was silent. "Thank god I actually used something from health, thought it would never be useful." Said Cartmen in a now calm voice. he slammed the knife down so hard on stans neck that it actually severed his spine and Stan was now paralyzed. "well now that you are not going to tell anyone anything ever again, on earth or in hell, I guess I can tell you that I killed Kyle! and now I will do what I did to him...my signature!" He Said as he creeped down stans body to his feet and he cut his ankle right to the bone then he jabbed Stan in the gut and then the heart, which made this kill so much easier. he found he had no other coats and so slipped off his coat and covered Stan with it as he was greeted by the cold.
"Wow my whole life's so much easier now that the Jew and Stan are dead. How I hated them." he Said as if the world was lifted off his shoulders. "But wait...What if the cops showed up and try to put me in jail for the rest of my life! I can't do this!!!" he Said as he looked down and saw the blade glinting in the dim light. "I must kill myself." He Said as he took the blade into his hand and grasped it as hard as he can. he thrust the blade up through his jaw and into his brain. He was now dead. South park was shocked by this murder spree!
...Oh and speaking of being shocked the next night Kenny was home and he was grieving at the dinner table. His family wasn't there so he made dinner himself. As he put the pop tarts into the toaster and pushed down he realized his hand was soaked and felt new found energy coursing his veins for a split second which then turned into shear pain as his eyes started to melt from his skull and drip down his body burning him and his coat melted onto him. After this all I'm glad to say that I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to geico!!!
...Sorry for the racism I am not racist and thanks for sticking through to the end!