XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

~ I try my best, but all you do is laugh in my face ~

I remembered the first time I met you. It was that warm day in Madam Malkins robe shop getting my robes fitted. I didn't know who you were at the time but I recognized you at Hogwarts on our first day. You were still that same shy boy who was unsure how to react to love right up to the end, even though you allowed me to show you that I could love you in many ways. I was in awe of the boy who lived even though my father hated everything you stood for and what you lived for.

~ I'm feeling nervous but it's nothing that I cannot do ~

It was the final battle when I reaslised just how much you loved me. You used that love to defeat Voldemort, even though you suffered from exhaustion. Your love for me and your friends saved the world you loved so much even though it couldn't bring back those who you had loved and lost, your parents, godfather and even adoptive godfather. You lost your mentor and even Sev's death hit you hard. Why wouldn't you let me help you in the end? Why have you left me here all alone? Did I not show you enough love to save you?

~ Standing stalling, always falling story of my life ~

I knew I was not as strong as you were. You always did what you had to cope with school even though the fate of the wizarding world was on your shoulders. I know Ron and Hermione helped you cope. They helped you in so many ways I couldn't. They went with you through the trapdoor; Ron went down onto the chamber with you. You made me feel important to you even if I had been horrible or seemingly unloving toward you. My father had forced me to join Voldemort, but you knew that already, didn't you. Miss you …

~ I can't taste the taste of simplicity ~

I'm sitting in what could have been out flat. I can't stand the place any more, it is barely furnished. It' a darn sight less extravagant than you would have expected from me. I know your thinking he means that it's modernistic what I really mean is I have the essentials. There is a bed in the bedroom and there is a small dinning table, sofa and coffee table in the open plan living space. There is also a muggle TV and laptop. Nothing fancy like a baby grand, that's still at the manor. This isn't home with out you.

~ I thought of all the years we spent ~

It's been ten years Harry, ten years with out you and I don't know what keeps me going. If I knew that I would go to heaven and see you there I would go in a second but I know that god's judgment will decide and I know it's going to be a hell or nothing situation. Maybe if I atone I might have a better chance of being with you in the next life. I visited your grave today, flowers had been laid, a lot of people around who still care even though you've gone to a better place.

~ Walk with me, let's walk into the night ~

It must have been a dream. I thought I saw you last night. You told me that you were fine and that I should follow you. I walked to the riverfront where we used to sit when we went for our illegal walks when you were training at Grimuald Place. The riverfront felt odd because you weren't there and it was the dead of night meaning that it was empty. I could have tried to join you there and then but a force made me rethink. Harry are you looking after me? Will I be able to join you soon?

~ Just when it feels like hell is freezing over ~

It was the tenth anniversary of Voldemort's defeat. Meaning that it has been nine years and nine months since you left me. I still can't forgive you leaving me. We could have had a brilliant life. We could have had a wonderful wedding in the grounds of Malfoy manor. I think about you every day. I think about all the places we could have visited and the children we could have had. Since you've gone they have made advancements in IVF enabling men to become pregnant. I would have had all the children you wanted. I miss you so much.

~ A missing photograph never thinking of the past ~

I'm looking at our photo album. There is a picture of you, me, Ron, Hermione and Neville. We look happy and it could have been taken at any time. It's the night before the final battle; you look as if you knew it was going to happen. I really should remove that stupid picture, it makes me feel depressed. I saw the doctor today; he gave me a muggle drug called Prozac. He says it will make me better, ha that would be wonderful. I hope it does as he says if not I might come and join you soon.

~ As the rain keeps falling, I hear you calling my name ~

It's raining again. When it rains it makes me think of the day you asked me to marry you. We were sitting by the lake when you just turned to me and asked. I said yes immediately. We just lay together as blissful as we could be on the brink of war when it started to rain. I remember you calling me in the rain to hurry up. I've never took that ring off. I've never been with anyone else. I hope you're not mad at me not moving on but I can't. Not then not now, not never. Ever.

~ Please, come back where you belong ~

Please Harry; let me join you soon; I can't cope any more; I'm going mad. There is no parent figure who I can visit for advice. Old people are good at that sort of thing. The doctor has given me more Prozac ck I might just save them for when I decide I've lived to long. The end is nigh they all say. I hope they are right. The doctors know that if I am to become ill I want no treatment or resuscitation. I want to be like you in the end. Brave and proud for what you achieved.

~ 'Cause every night I have to say, goodbye ~

Yesterday I saw Ron and Hermione. They have twins now. I'm their godfather. I hope I don't fail them like ours did. It was my final goodbye to your best friends. They didn't know this and invited me to dinner tomorrow, your birthday, I can't go. If you were alive you would be turning twenty-seven. It's a shame that you had a short life. I don't want to go on any more. To know that if you hadn't refused treatment hurts me so but it makes me proud that you wanted to die on your own terms not someone else's.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Daily Prophet – 1st August 2007

Draco Malfoy was found dead in his apartment yesterday evening. Friends say he had spiralled into a bout of depression following the memorial service held on the ten year anniversary of the fall of Voldemort. It was documented that Draco had a relationship with Harry Potter who died ten years ago from magical exhaustion due to the excessive amount of magic used to destroy the most feared wizard of last century. Harry had sustained internal injuries caused by a stray curse.