This is a piece I wrote a few months ago, it kinda shows how I had been feeling at the time. I chose Dean and Sam, because like the story says, they're both different sides of me, though I tend to be more Dean. This is based on their frist and second season characters. I hear that Sammy is getting more and more dark in season three... curses having to wait for them to come out on dvd Again, these are not my characters, they belong to Eric Kripke.

Wounded

Sing it for me, I can't erase the stupid things I say. You're better than me. I struggle just to find a

better way.

So here we are, fighting and trying to hide the scars. I'll be home tonight, take a breath and softly

say goodbye. The lonely road, the one that I should try to walk alone. I'll be home tonight, take a

breath and softly say goodbye.

You're running like me. Keep moving on until forever ends. Don't try to fight me. The beauty queen has

lost her crown again.

So here we are, fighting and trying to hide the scars. I'll be home tonight, take a breath and softly

say goodbye. The lonely road, the one that I should try to walk alone. I'll be home tonight, take a

breath and softly say goodbye.

Goodbye.

So why are you so eager to betray, pick the pieces up, pick the pieces up.

So why are you the one that walks away, pick the pieces up, pick the pieces up.

So here we are, fighting and trying to hide the scars. I'll be home tonight, take a breath and softly

say goodbye. The lonely road, the one that I should try to walk alone. I'll be home tonight, take a

breath and softly say goodbye.

Just take a breath and softly say goodbye.

Breaking Benjamin, Here We Are

Dean Winchester frowned softly as he watched the young woman to his left, frowning softly at the look that was communicating through her entire body. She was tired, run down, hell they all were…but she was getting ready to run. He could sense it, "…You know it's not your fault… You did everything you could…You've said yourself, you can do everything you can to try and change things, but if it's meant to turn out another way… it will…"

He felt odd being the one to give advise, but he knew she had to hear it, especially from someone like they were. Sam could never understand, he wasn't like them and he was glad for that, but he knew it frustrated his little brother. There came a point when Sam just couldn't see across that gap that separated them and even as hard as he tried to find a way across, he was never going to get to the other side, it just wasn't in him. And even Dean could feel the scared nervousness that was radiating from Sam as he tended to the young woman who was with them.

A sound of half pain and half recognition that someone had spoken, came from her and she frowned, wincing as she jerked involuntarily, trying not to pull her leg away from Sam as he stitched her up. It was bad, probably going to leave a nasty scar that would never heal and she risked a glance down to see how far along Sam was in patching her up. Instantly she regretted it and she felt her stomach lurch a bit at the sight of the blood and things that shouldn't be visible.

Sam had paused, his eyes huge and worried when she'd jerked and he, sighed, glancing to his brother, shifting uncomfortably for the first time in a very long time… Things hadn't been going well since about a week ago… when it had all started, or at least when she'd finally let it start to show. He wasn't stupid and even if he couldn't understand her, or his own brother at times, he had learned how to read them both very well, knew the things to look for when something didn't feel right, "…Lex… You didn't fail… I know things are different now… they're never going to be the same… Everything is changing and it scares you. You feel like, there should have been something, that somehow you can make it all better, because that's what you do… But who makes it better for you?"

Lexi looked away from Sam's eyes, feeling her bottom lip trembling softly, not wanting him, or Dean to see her cry, not like this. For the last several days, truthfully, the last month, she'd been pulling away, keeping to herself and finding reasons not to be around them much anymore, even sneaking out on her own to hunt and tonight had been no exception… only, she'd barely made it back. Dean had been keeping an eye on her, following her without her or even Sam knowing and he'd been out following her. It had turned out to be a good thing and for the moment, she wasn't going to be mad at him for spying on her…

"Look, I know you don't want to talk about it, you've been avoiding us and everyone you can for a very long time… But it's not going to make it better and neither is throwing yourself headlong into the hunt… Trust me… It'll never kill that anger that crawls around inside of you… the feeling that keeps you up at night and yells inside your head…" Dean murmured softly, his head low as he spoke and he fiddled with his hands, flushing only slightly at the words he was revealing. He didn't speak openly about much, let alone to more then one person at a time, but he knew it was something that needed to be shared.

Sam looked to his brother, frowning as he listened to what he was saying and he paused in what he was doing, shocked at what he was saying and knowing that must have been what Dean himself had been dealing with for most of his life… He had just never heard him actually put words to it before. Clearing his throat a little he looked back to stitching Lexi's leg, somehow feeling like he was intruding on a big brother talk that was only supposed to be meant for her. They had a bond, they understood each other and at times, it made Sam uncomfortable, even though he knew the two looked at each other like siblings…

"…I can't shut it off…even at night… especially at night… the dreams… I wake up angry, I go to bed angry. I try… sometimes it goes away…but…" Lexi sniffed softly, trembling as she rubbed at an arm, blinking as she tried not to break down. She knew they were worried, knew they were right. These two men could read both sides of her, Dean, the abused and silent one who understood her anger, her solitude she hid behind and Sam, the only one who could see even the slightest trace of the light she used to carry, the same light that Sam radiated. Sometimes it hurt to look at him, she could see so much of what she could have been in him…

"Hey… it's okay… It's going to be okay…" Dean blinked, working his jaw as he wrapped an arm around her, startled that she had turned her face against his shoulder and buried it in his leather jacket. Sam was the one she usually leaned on, but he simply sighed, holding her till his little brother was able to.

"I'm so tired… I just… I don't know how much longer I can do this… Everything is so wrong… It's all wrong…" Soft whimpers came from her as she shuddered, trying not to completely freak out and slightly ashamed of herself for breaking down like she had. So much had been going wrong for so long and she couldn't keep up the act like she thought it was going to be alright, that any of it was going to be fine in the end, because she didn't believe it. And that fact scared her more then anything else, because if she didn't believe it was all going to be alright…

"Hey…Come on…Look at me…" Sam gently finished taping the gauze over her wound and washed his hands off in a large bowl of water before looking up at her. He knew how she felt, that desperate fear that nothing was going to turn out right… but that didn't mean it had to rule them…

Very gently he moved up on her other side, taking her into his arms as she turned away from Dean and the older brother moved to sit down on the floor where Sam had just been a moment before, wrapping his arms around his knees as he looked up at the two then rested his chin on his knees. Normally he would have left them alone, let them have some quality time so Sammy could comfort her, but it felt like this was something she needed both of them there for.

Lexi blinked hard several times, trying to clear the stinging tears before she looked at him, shivering at the feel of him brushing his fingers through her hair and tucking it behind her ear. She knew what he was trying to say, knew that they both felt the same in their own ways and for that moment, it felt alright not to believe, to just be able to worry and grieve for what she might lose, because she knew they were going to be there, and they would take care of her. All she had to do, was let them…