Writer's Note: Again I venture into places unknown to me previous, but I feel confident I won't mess up too badly. I wanted to write this little fic because neither the game nor the anime truly and directly addresses the content within, and leaves us to formulate our own ideas. What happened during that whole year? What had happened in the end? This fic is born of one image: a bloodied hand twitching ever so slightly as the world fades to black…
Warning: HUGE SPOILERS FOR THE END OF THE GAME. Occurs between the ending and the epilogue, so MAJOR SECRETS AND PLOTS WILL BE REVEALED ALMOST FROM THE START. So don't read any further until you finish the game/anime!
Sacred Flame, Banked Embers
The first few moments were the very worst. In his very short life, Luke had thought he had suffered enough: unwittingly destroying an entire city, travelling the world and risking his life beside strangers he had to trust, learning he was betrayed from the moment he was born, that he wasn't even Luke…
Standing on the Tower of Rem, the lifeless eyes of the replicas who, like him, weren't supposed to exist but did, and now never would exist again. He was supposed to have gone with them, and had planned on it, but Asch had, somehow, saved him…
For a moment. Then he started fading, and he knew everything was for naught, and he wouldn't see the end all the way through. The pain was staggering at first, but as time went on, it eased, dulled, and almost gave him a new spring in his step…
Facing Van, hearing Tear sing a song that made his entire body vibrate with the Seventh Fonon, the very thing he was made of. Hearing the goodbyes of people he now loved… and in one case, almost thinking he had heard that love returned…
Standing in a bubble amidst ruin, looking up by chance to see Asch – his body – almost gracefully, purposely, fall into his arms, weighing as light as Luke himself felt…
And then, something tugging, deep within his breast, as he felt a small, needle-like pain go through his body, painful but bearable, and then….
…Lorelei…
…and then…
…nothing…
Until…
"—out of my head, replica!"
Words. He knew them. He heard them, so loud and so angry, so full of pain and grief and what sounded like shame… It was the worst thing he had heard and felt in his life up to then. The rest now seemed like icing on a very neat and tidy cake.
"Why are you here? Get the hell out of here!"
Luke flinched – almost. He felt the feeling of a flinch, an idea of one, but it wasn't quite complete. When he finally opened his eyes – or their equivalent – he found himself in a place he hadn't seen for some time, one that brought back a crippling sense of pain and shock. The flinch-not-flinch brought him down to his knees, and he held his head in his hands, gritting his teeth. The voice was so loud…
"Quit your stupid cowering and get out!"
A shove sent Luke fully to the ground, but even though it was rough, it only hurt in a way that was like the vague notion of pain. Again, it didn't seem very real, but at the same, also too real.
For a moment, Luke was drowning. That contact sent his mind reeling, the contact of two very different and yet identical wills coming together once more.
Perfect isofons…
"Asch…" he managed finally, unable to move from the spot where he lay. It wasn't solid, but it wasn't air. It was strange, and it made Luke feel dizzy and sick. He kept his eyes shut, lying on his side.
"Yes, it's Asch, of course it's me, you dumb, damned idiot replica!"
A hand grabbed the front of Luke's jacket and yanked him up. Again, the contact sent Luke into a gulf of stars. It was too much. He didn't understand what was happening.
He opened his eyes, and found Asch already in his face, looking not at all the way he did when Luke had caught him, in a moment that seemed years ago. His hair was unkempt and in his eyes, but his uniform was pristine, no trace of blood anywhere. He even had his sword, still sheathed at his hip, Luke noticed, before his gaze went back to Asch's. Like a mirror, only darker. Sadder.
And now, panicked.
"I'm not here," Luke said slowly, still trying to remember speaking again. "I'm dead."
"No, you jackass, I'm dead, remember?!" Asch was livid, his other hand already up and aimed to punch Luke out. "Because of you, remember?!"
That stung. But it made it no less true. Asch lost their fight, and had stayed behind. Luke was the one who beat him down, maybe even weakened him too much to survive…
"No," Asch snapped suddenly, his eyes flaring. "I was already weak."
Luke stared at him, mouth slightly agape. Asch rolled his eyes and dropped him, sending him once more to the idea of the ground, on his hands and knees. When he raised his head, he saw that Asch was still glaring at him, still angry, and it still hurt.
"I didn't say…" Luke began, but then he heard it: a faint, very soft echo of words he didn't say. Though he couldn't make it out, whatever the words were made Asch turn scarlet, and he lunged for Luke again, shouting, "Get out of my head!"
This time, Luke jerked out of the way, surprising Asch and sending them down together. Luke sighed and waited for Asch to at least sit up, but instead, he just lay there, on his back, staring upwards and clenching his fists at his sides. Luke adjusted, crossing his legs slowly and trying to remember how to do even that.
"This is too weird. Why do you keep saying that?"
Asch bared his teeth for a moment, and Luke heard a faint, angry snarl, "…in my body."
"You're in my body, replica," Asch was snarling now, for real. "You faded away, but then you took my body. Get out!"
Luke winced, for a moment wishing he could, just to escape that voice. Instead, he combed through Asch's words. "So I did die. I faded away. But why am I alive? Am I?"
Asch suddenly met his gaze, and they stared at each other, suddenly on the same footing. They both knew that, despite recent events, they should very well be dead and gone. And now, they were both here, in what looked like Asch's mind, apparently also in his body, a body that was also dead…
"Spinoza said something about that to me, before," said Asch quietly, still staring at Luke, who couldn't look away, even if he wanted to. "About how replicas can host the originals, or vice-versa. But I always thought it meant…" he trailed off.
Luke listened, hearing it: "I thought it meant that I would be dead first, and only then you would take over, so I wouldn't have to see you in my body…"
Asch was quiet, grief filling his eyes, so much that he looked away, not wanting Luke to see more than he already had. But things were different than before. Even if Asch looked away, Luke could still feel what he was feeling, sense what he was thinking. And above it all, it was oddly soothing.
"You're an idiot, replica," Asch snapped. Then he sighed, shut his eyes tight, and unclenched his hands. "You're way too clingy."
Luke felt his face burn. "Sh-shut up!" was his retort. At least that hadn't changed: Asch still always managed to get the better of him.
"Maybe it's the age difference," Asch sneered, smirking in the way that used to drive Luke crazy. Instead, it just made Luke laugh softly, suddenly. Then, just as suddenly, he was weeping, everything crashing down like it had when the world crashed down with him. It was the kind of sobbing that one would hear from a child, without filter or care, purely lost within the grief that birthed it.
Luke suddenly cowered before Asch, forcing him to sit up quite suddenly. Now it was Asch who gaped in shock. He had seen Luke cry before, but this…
"I don't know what to do." A whisper of thoughts, heavy with pain, floated in the air. Asch shut his eyes tight, surprised to feel a lump in his throat. He understood better than Luke thought. He knew what it was like to discover that the world you knew was over and was never coming back, and that you had to adjust to it, or be killed by it.
The thing was, Asch knew Luke knew these feelings too. They were just from different circumstances – and in some ways worse than his own. Asch was spared the task of destroying Akzeriuth thanks to Luke. He wondered if he would have been able to keep going after that. At least when his life was robbed from him, he was given a new one. Luke was born solely to be discarded. Asch had no idea how that felt.
And Luke was young. It would be hard to imagine any other seven-year-old who had done what he had done, especially when those years were spent in a frilly cage. To suddenly be attacked and thrown into a world he had never known, and to grow up on the way, was something Asch could never truly understand. He was seventeen, more than double Luke's age. He had had ten more years of life than Luke had.
No wonder he cries the way he does, Asch suddenly thought, then wished he hadn't, because surely Luke could hear his thoughts.
Luke hadn't. His mind was a blur. Everything was gone, and he was still here. Trapped as far as he knew, with the one person that loathed him no matter how hard he tried, with whom he wanted to be friends, even brothers, who still hated him after all this time…
"No," Asch said suddenly. His voice was gruff and thick, but Luke's vision was clouded in tears and couldn't see his expression properly. "I…" he hesitated, one hand going to the back of his head and scratching. The gesture shocked Luke into a moment of silence, as it was one he himself did when feeling overwhelmed and lacking words.
So, he waited. Above anyone, Luke understood that Asch needed a moment to get those words.
"I hated you. Past tense," Asch finally said, once Luke had quieted his sobs to occasional hiccups and coughing. "What I feel now…" When Luke blinked away his tears, he saw that Asch was looking away from him, his face crumpled and naked in its vulnerability. "I feel… frustrated. But it's not hate. Hasn't been for a while, now that I think on it."
By the end, he was mumbling, but Luke was beaming, his tear-stained face suddenly shining. He hadn't felt this happy in a while. Asch doesn't hate me! Not anymore! Finally, we'll team up and…
His face fell suddenly. Asch turned to him, meeting his eyes right on, and he said, with a sigh, "Too late now, huh?"
Luke choked a bit, trying to laugh. "I guess so."
There was repose, as words swirled around them, thoughts incomplete and unspoken, the same voice in different cadences thinking the same thoughts.
"This doesn't feel like death," Asch admitted finally, after thinking it several times. His voice sounded almost… normal. There was none of the angry vehemence underlying the tone. It was like hearing Luke speak, only with a deeper voice.
"Maybe hell?" Luke wondered, only half-joking.
Asch jerked, turning to him in surprise. "No!" he blurted without hesitating. Luke instantly knew, somehow, that it was the truth. "Not hell. But limbo, maybe." Asch looked upwards again. "My mind. My body. But I…"
"…am dead," was the end of that thought.
"So am I," Luke replied drily. "So either we're both dead or we're both alive, but one can't be one while the other is the other. Obviously."
Asch did something almost scary then. He grinned. It made him look shockingly young, because it was a real grin. "Always pissing on my things, aren't you, replica? Even in death."
Luke couldn't help grinning back. "I take the corners, you take the furniture."
Asch laughed, a burst of gaiety that was so genuine that it brought a laugh from Luke, too. For a moment, it really felt that they were brothers – very dysfunctional, confused, and misplaced brothers – but it was a start nonetheless.
When the echoes of their laughs died again, a heavy pall fell on them and the silence grew.
"Wish Jade was here," Luke muttered. "He knows everything."
"Yeah," Asch wrinkled his nose. "How could you stand that? I had trouble with the brief amount of time I had with him."
"Trouble? Just trouble? He never tried to knock you down a few times, remind you that he's smarter and older?"
Asch coloured, and Luke suddenly realised that Jade probably had scolded Asch. The idea cheered him up a bit more: no one was safe from Jade's knowledge bombs or casual scolding.
"I wouldn't mind seeing any of them again, at the moment," Asch hurriedly answered, trying to cover up his momentary lapse in mental shields.
But it didn't work on Luke, apparently. "Like Natalia?" he wondered, his voice casual and curious, not at all accusing or angry. Asch realised that Luke wasn't trying to pick a fight – and he wondered then why he had thought Luke even would.
Asch looked down, her face swimming up in his mind. "Yeah," he admitted softly, realising it meant nothing any longer to keep the pretence of apathy.
"Can I ask you something you may hate?" Luke said suddenly. Asch turned to him, seeing only open curiosity.
"You can ask, but you probably shouldn't expect an answer."
Luke rolled his eyes. "Whatever. All I want to know is: do you still love Natalia?"
Asch jerked and staggered, turning so fast towards Luke that he stumbled. "H-How can you ask something like that so casually?" he snarled, his voice cracking.
Luke blinked once, slowly, seemingly unfazed. It drove Asch crazy. Once all it took was to meet Luke's eyes and the replica would look away instantly. Now, it was Asch that had to look away, and he hated that.
"So… yes," Luke said evenly, after a moment.
Asch suddenly longed for access to any kind of fonic arte, specifically one that involved fire and explosions. Since they currently shared one mind, Luke could sense these desires quite easily, since Asch was doing little to clamp down on them. He made a face and sighed.
"Do you always have to be so dramatic?" Luke demanded, waving a hand at Asch in circles loosely at the wrist, something he unconsciously did when he wanted to seem smarter and superior over the person he addressed. "Everyone knows you love Natalia. Even the Dark Wings. Do you really think you were keeping it a secret from anyone?"
Asch glowered, now wishing his eyes were fonically charged, like Jade's, so he could just blow Luke up with a glance. Luke's face soured again at that thought. It was the final straw.
"What right do you have to make fun of me, replica?" Asch shouted, unable to keep it contained. Luke winced, and he went on. "What about you and Van's sister?!"
This time Luke was the one momentarily blinded, but not with rage. More like shock.
A small voice, a whisper of one, echoed through his mind, that one last sentence that sent his heart into deep fathoms.
"Luke… I love you…"
"Tear…" Luke whispered, his eyes wide. She was alone now. Without Van, and now, without him. And he without her watching him, keeping him on the right path, keeping him on his toes, and, at the same time, without his knowing, bringing him to his knees before her.
Asch chuckled. "You didn't know?" he sneered, enjoying this. "At least I knew my own feelings. You really are defective."
Luke shut his eyes. "Yeah," he admitted softly. "I really am." He realised that that was what they others had been talking about before, when Luke was trying to decide about going to the Tower of Rem. Everyone, even Anise, had said something about Tear and himself, about feelings, and pain. They all knew.
Except Luke. He wasn't sure when his feelings changed for Tear. Maybe it was when he woke up to find her still there, after he had just killed an entire city. Maybe it was when she started teaching him to use the Seventh Fonon. Hell, maybe it was when she ran at him and clashed her weapon against his, throwing them across the Empire and out of it. But Tear was there. Deep in his blood. And she wasn't going anywhere.
And neither was he. She was truly alone now. She didn't even have him to scold at, to distract her from having to kill her own brother. She had the others, but Luke knew that, without any kind of vanity, it wasn't the same thing. Tear never let Luke be anything other than real and honest, and he expected the same from her. She had screamed and cried, bled and swore, even ignored him when she had to, to make sure he understood her feelings. But with everyone else, she only showed a small part of that to them.
"Yeah," Asch said suddenly, breaking into Luke's thoughts (which he had probably been listening to firsthand, Luke realised). "Imagine how I feel. At least you got to say goodbye."
Luke was silent, a hand going to his chest. He was unable to imagine that fully without hurting.
Another silence. Asch and Luke were on common ground, here. Asch hadn't known just how deeply he had nursed his love for his cousin (almost-cousin, he corrected suddenly – she wasn't of royal blood, after all) until he had seen her again – and worst of all, at his replica's side. Natalia had somehow recognised him, and must have felt the same somehow, judging from her actions. But Asch also knew there was a deep confusion there, one he loathed but didn't blame her for. For seven years, recently, Natalia had thought Luke to be the Luke, and had treated him thusly. Luke, it seemed, having no memory, was unable to grasp her feelings deeply, and always ended up pushing her away before she got close.
But when she and Asch were alone again, or even alone with others, like in Dist's lab or Sheridan, it was like the years had never separated them, and they fell into old, familiar patterns from childhood. It touched Asch far deeper than anything else, and he knew he not only was in love with Natalia, but had always been.
And it was torture. Even knowing that Luke was a replica, Natalia still agonised. She still obviously loved Luke, but her love for Asch was different, romantic, rather than familiar. But her confusion lasted too long, and they never managed to make it to even ground. They never had the chance to make a real connection.
And it hurt.
"She loved you." Asch looked up, and saw Luke staring at him, no trace of mockery or malice in his tone. "Loves you. For what it's worth." Luke smiled faintly and looked away. "It was obvious from the moment she recognised you. She even made me say your words for her, once, because she was so desperate for me to somehow be you."
Oh, Asch suddenly thought, feeling uncomfortable. Even if Luke hadn't been on the same ground as Natalia, he still grew up with her and cared about her. Seeing the affection meant for you turned on someone else – regardless of reciprocation – must have been a hit to the ego.
"It's not like that," said Luke, shaking his head, still smiling. "It just… is, I guess." His eyes were fixed on something below, his smile sad. "I can't imagine how much it hurts. I can't imagine how confused she is. Was…" His face crumpled, but he managed to keep control, save a wavering in his eyes.
Asch eyed him closely. "Present tense, replica," he snapped. "Didn't you say that if we're here, weren't not dead?"
Luke didn't say anything.
Asch felt his eye twitch, like it usually did when dealing with Luke. "Replica!" he snarled.
Once again, the shoes were switched. It was Luke who was unable to snap out of it, Asch who was trying to snap him out and get a grip.
But before Asch could say a word, Luke's eyes flared suddenly. A second later, Asch felt it too, and his eyes widened, too. It was that same sharp, painful feeling, the same feeling Luke had before waking up.
Asch paled. He knew what it meant. Whatever grace was allowing him to stay was now kicking him out. When he help up a shaking hand, he could see through it.
"No!" Luke's cry was sharp, breaking from both strain and pain. He scrambled to his feet and grabbed Asch's fading hand. Asch jerked from the contact, now feeling what Luke had felt when he had done the grabbing: a strange emphasis on the senses, everything turning sharper and brighter.
Luke's fingers momentarily stayed on Asch's, and he kept his grip, extending his other hand and grabbing Asch's other hand. Asch jerked again, trying to break free, but Luke held tighter. "Don't!" he cried, his heart pounding, his eyes stinging from pain. "Don't! You can't, Asch, you can't!"
"Augh…" Asch made a sound like he had been knocked airless, and indeed, his eyes rolled up and he staggered, his knees buckling. At the same time, his hand faded again, and Luke lost his grip. He grabbed Asch's other hand in both of his, as Asch's free hand flickered in and out.
Luke knew exactly what that meant. He grabbed onto Asch without even thinking about it, embracing him like he would his mother, or even sometimes his father. Our father, Luke thought desperately, throwing Asch's fading arm over his shoulders and encircling his own arm around the former God-General's waist.
Asch grunted out something too slurred to understand, his eyes still shut. He tilted his head back against Luke, resting his head on his shoulder, trying to grab onto Luke's sleeve or something to stay anchored. But when he reached, his fingers slipped through. The pain didn't change, but he felt dizzy, breathless, and unable to keep his breath steady.
Just like when he was dying.
Luke knew that, too. He staggered to his knees, unable to balance Asch's weight against his while steeped in pain. He watched in horror as Asch's other hand began to fade, and he lost his grip again.
"No!" he cried, tapping Asch's cheek lightly before giving up and slapping him. He wasn't sure why; he was panicking, and it was all he could think of to get Asch to open his eyes. He figured if he could, Asch would stop fading.
The slap did affect Asch. The contact of Luke's hand on his face was like being shocked by lightning. It was distracting, and like the soldier he was, he zeroed in on that feeling. He focused on it, knowing that despite how angry and hurt he was for being in his predicament, he didn't want to die.
Not now.
He opened his eyes slowly, half-way, focusing on Luke's eyes, the mirror image of his, only different, too. There was something softer in Luke's eyes, something innocent that only recently had begun to awaken. But instead of seeing a burden in Luke's eyes, Asch only saw optimism. Hope. Pain. Yet not for himself, but for Asch.
"Defective," he mumbled.
"I don't know what you said, but keep talking," Luke pleaded. From the corner of his eye, he saw Asch's hand on his shoulder flicker opaque for longer moments. It was enough to know that Asch had a chance.
"Tell me what it was like," begged Luke, shaking Asch slightly. "Tell me what it was like for you. Both before, and after."
It was a silly thing to request, especially considering that they both felt like they were barely treading water above the pain they felt. Half of Luke figured Asch would get angry and thus focus better. The other half actually wanted to know.
Asch closed his eyes for a moment, unable to stifle the gasp he needed in order to breathe. Luke winced, his heart skipping, but Asch growled out, "I was furious. When I woke up and saw you, I wanted to kill you. I tried to, even." His eyes opened again, their colour dark but also focused. "Van had to drag me away. Seeing you, before he even told me, I knew my life was over. That life."
Luke opened his mouth to apologise, but Asch snapped out, "No. You asked, I'm telling you. Shut up and listen."
Wordlessly, Luke shut up and nodded. Asch's hand was now fully solid. The other still flickered, but it was getting slower.
"Van left me alone for a while to take you back to Father's house," Asch went on, the words spilling from his lips. He realised suddenly that no one had ever asked him before, what his life was like. The other God-Generals never asked, because they had their own secrets to protect. Van never asked because he already knew. Asch had never had a chance to actually tell his own life story. And he found now that once he started, he couldn't stop.
"He locked me in a room at Choral Castle for a while, making sure I didn't escape. He wouldn't tell me why, only that he needed me and this was the best solution. He told me it was the only way I could stay alive." Asch choked, but went on. "I remember screaming so loud my voice died for a whole day. I destroyed that room. I didn't care about any of it. I wanted to go home."
It was then that Luke felt it. His eyes flared, but he managed to keep anything else from showing. When Asch shut his eyes again for a moment, Luke looked at his own hand and saw it flicker in and out.
And that's when he realised that it had to be one or the other. The initial set-up had been temporary for whatever reason, and now, one of them had to go. Asch had died first, so of course he would be first to go. But when Asch fought back, Luke started to be taken away.
And he didn't say a word. He gritted his teeth and looked away, staring only at Asch, pretending that he could still feel his hands on his original, when he knew better.
"It was only when Van came back that I started to calm down. He let me run around Choral, let me meet the other Generals gradually. I grew to trust him. And even though I knew what he had done, I agreed that the world was probably better without the Score.
"And that if I ever met you," he added, "I would kill you." His eyes opened once more, and they danced slightly. Luke realised he was teasing a little. It was crazy and out of place. But it was also kind of perfect.
"No wonder I always got a mouthful of sword every time I met you," he said, laughing faintly, covering up the urge to shout when he lost his grip around Asch's waist.
"Yeah," Asch agreed, feeling the pain slowly fade away, watching his replica stare back at him with a face probably as pale as his own. His words died on his lips when he saw a bead of sweat run down Luke's cheek, his eyes flicker to the side for a split second.
"What?" Asch sat up finally, pulling out of Luke's grip. This was just as well, because Luke lost his hold when Asch sat up. He tried to balance, but when he threw his hands out to catch his fall, there was nothing there, and he collapsed on the ground.
"Luke?" Asch stayed where he was, his stomach flipping. He watched as his replica tried to shake his hands back into existence, tried to fight the growing terror from showing on his face, but it wasn't working.
"Sorry," Luke panted, dropping onto his back and holding his arms to his chest. He shut his eyes, unable to keep watching. "I… I'm going to…"
Asch stared at him, his mouth dry. When Luke's eyes closed, and his whole body started to fade, Asch was blinded for a moment by his panic. He was frozen by it, unable to register the fact that Luke was dying now, not him, and it was Luke who would die.
Not him, but for him.
That wasn't okay. Asch had had to accept that his life now belonged to this human-made shadow of a copy of himself. He had had to accept that a replica of himself was also a cowardly caricature of himself, too.
Asch had given up his name for this person in front of him, his future. He had allowed Luke to live, despite the many times he could have stolen what was his back. And he had allowed Luke to stand alone and declare himself more than just Asch's replica.
But this? Luke dying for Asch? When Asch had died for Luke?
One could argue that Luke owed him one. That was how Luke felt. Even with his eyes shut, he could feel his senses dulling, his feelings fading into fonons like before. Since this time, he knew Asch would go in his place, he didn't fight back. He didn't need to.
This was the right thing to do. Except that Asch didn't want him to do it.
"S'okay," Luke mumbled, feeling Asch's emotions faintly. "Meant to be this way."
Asch stared, still paralysed. "N-no," he murmured, barely above a whisper. He didn't know why he said it. He had wanted Luke out of his body, out of his head. But he didn't realise it meant that Luke would die. Or maybe he didn't let himself think it.
Wordlessly, Asch grabbed Luke's chin roughly, gloved fingers digging into fading flesh. Luke's eyes, already void of light, opened briefly, a small smile on his lips. "Thank you…" he managed. "It's okay."
But Asch grabbed Luke's shoulder with his other hand, digging his fingers into the collarbone. Luke winced, his eyes closing tight, but Asch didn't let go. He didn't speak.
Luke opened his eyes again and saw that Asch was crying, silent tears rolling down a face transfigured by obvious grief and undeniable fury. Luke tried to tell him to let go, but Asch was holding his chin so hard that he couldn't move his jaw. Asch's eyes were wild, almost delirious. Luke gazed at him through a slit of sight, trying to reassure him that it was okay.
Asch shook his head, only able to make a sound between a sob and a groan of dismay. Luke shut his eyes, focusing away, closing in on the feeling of being broken into fonons, of fading away…
He wondered what would happen. Would I see Ion? All the other replicas? All the people I've killed?
Asch watched Luke's eyes shut again, watched as he faded so much that Asch lost his grip and had to jerk away. But he kept trying to keep Luke there, kept trying to hold onto his replica. And he didn't know why.
He heard the faint echo of a farewell, saw Luke flicker out, and that's when Asch screamed out.
And that's also when everything changed.
It was the same kind of scream he had made when he had been thrown into that room, the same kind of unbridled rage that stems from being cheated, being betrayed, losing everything you loved, all at once. It seemed to drag Luke away from that fading place, but he fought as hard as he could.
One of us has to die, Luke thought. It should be me.
But that scream…
Then, black. Like before.
Asch opened his eyes, only realising then that they had been closed. His vision was blurry, so blurry that he couldn't focus. All he saw were blurs.
So did Luke.
When Luke opened his eyes, he also had to gasp for breath. It was strange, because this time, it wasn't the idea of breath – this was the real thing.
"Good," he heard Asch say gruffly. "Keep breathing. You'll get it."
"Asch?" Luke said, also hearing his own voice. It was scratchy, and his throat hurt, but it was definitely not an idea of hurt. It was real.
"Close your eyes."
Luke did, and suddenly he was back where he had been, with Asch in his mind. Only now, they were seated across from each other, both sitting calmly. Luke broke that pretty quick, getting to his feet. But Asch stayed put.
"No!" Luke cried. "Asch, you were supposed to-!"
"No way," Asch answered, shutting his eyes impatiently. Deep down, he felt regret, but also a sense of… equilibrium. "I refuse to give you the satisfaction of owing you my life."
"But I owe you my life!" protested Luke.
Asch shrugged. "Hey, I didn't make this happen."
Luke stared at him. "How did it, then?" he asked simply.
Asch stared back. Luke saw it, then: a flickering of golden light between them, dancing in different shapes, some human, some not.
Lorelei.
As soon as he recognised it, it vanished.
"Perfect isofons," Luke whispered.
"You were wrong," Asch said softly. "It's not one or the other. It's both, or none at all." He paused, then sniffed. "It's not my idea of fun, but you're too stupid to accept a victory, so here I am."
"But I…"
"…control the body. I know." Asch looked away, smiling faintly. "I… think you've earned it, don't you?"
"No!" Luke protested. "Asch!"
"Stop it," Asch snapped. "I'm not going anywhere. Neither are you."
Luke froze, unable to accept the hope in his heart, so Asch went on. "Lorelei has a sense of humour, I think. I… would rather it this way, rather than not at all."
Luke embraced him before his sentence was done, hugging him like he would a best friend or a pet.
Or a brother.
Asch sighed and patted Luke's back a few times. Luke shook a bit, then let go, wiping his tears away. He was speechless, choked with emotion. Asch scratched the back of his head, then glanced at him. Luke was beaming again.
"You're right," Luke finally said. "You're right."
"Of course I am," Asch sniffed, making Luke smile.
When Luke focused back on his body, he opened his eyes to beautiful nighttime. The moon was so close and so beautiful that it was all he could focus on for a while, only realising he was lying on his back in the middle of nowhere almost an hour later. The whole time, Asch said nothing. He merely gazed as well, able to see what Luke was seeing, only in that detached real-not-real kind of way. It wasn't ideal, but it was still something.
"Where am I?" Luke whispered aloud, his voice sounding so loud and almost too loud in the quiet night.
"Auldrant," Asch snorted. Luke sighed, and Asch snickered. Already, Luke could see how his future would be like, full of Asch's teasing and commentary.
But then, Asch also knew when to stay quiet. He also knew how to detach. Maybe it was because he was the original, but somehow, he was able to block himself off at one point, so well that Luke panicked and thought Asch had vanished.
"Idiot," Asch suddenly chastised. And then he was there again, a familiar pressure on Luke's mind, and he relaxed.
"What should I do?" Luke asked him quickly. He said it without thinking, but only when Asch's expression turned deadly that he realised his mistake. He'd fallen back into that horrible bad habit that was his only way to cope: depending on someone else to decide for him.
Something Asch had loathed deeply, not just because it was annoying, but also because he didn't like seeing an aspect of himself that he could have had. It was pretty much the primary reason why Luke made Asch mad to begin with.
"Sorry," Luke hastily blurted. "I'm sorry."
Asch sighed. "Whatever. I get it. You apparently revert to your default idiocy when faced with a problem." Luke scowled, but took it well, considering that it was sort of true. "Just open your eyes and think, replica."
Luke obeyed. He was greeted by the moon again, only slightly moved. Both were silent, comforted by such a solid reminder of reality. Bit by bit, Luke could feel his awareness slowly getting used to this new but not new body. His hair was long again, he realised. And his clothes were odd: a strange mash-up of his clothes that he wore into battle and Asch's uniform. And yet, when he sat up and rubbed his head slowly, he also reached back and felt the familiar weight of a sword across his back.
That was what brought everything into true focus for him. It was his sword, the sword he had brought into battle, and it was worn the way he had always worn it, across the small of his back, and not the way Asch wore his, on his hip.
"The Key," he murmured, touching the sword and realising it was the sword from the Casino that he touched, and not the Key of Lorelei.
"Gone," Asch said softly. Luke realised that even though his eyes were opened and not closed, he could still sense Asch there, as if right beside him. "Where it belongs."
Luke nodded slowly. Asch sounded like he regretted its loss – which was true – but for Luke it was a comfort. That sword had intimidated him, despite its ease of use. He didn't want to use it if he could help it.
It was another hour before Luke felt he had mastered walking again. He vaguely remembered the first time he had to learn to walk, when he lost his memory –no, when I was born, he corrected. This time it was much easier.
He looked around slowly, finally recognising where he was.
"Tataroo Valley," he whispered, a chill slipping up his spine slowly. Asch echoed his words, feeling a similar feeling of awe.
And then… he heard it.
Singing.
It wrapped around him slowly, like a rope around his waist. It was the Grand Fonic Hymn, he realised. The echoes of the last thing he had ever heard before fading away.
He walked towards it without thinking. Beneath his feet, as his boots crushed the petals of the blooming selenias, their scent seemed to float into his brain and make him feel dizzy. His heart was pounding so hard that he almost wished he could just run.
But Asch said, softly, gentle, even, "Who knows how long it's been? You need to take it slow. Make sure it isn't a trap."
Despite the last part, Luke knew there was wisdom there. So he walked slowly, letting the beautiful and eerie notes wash over him, his own body's fonons responding to the Hymn's. It was strange, walking in Asch's body, yet also knowing it was his. He hadn't noticed it before, but now he realised that despite their different lives, their bodies were almost the same: build, physique, even muscle mass. It was very odd, but also very comforting, though he didn't know why.
As he walked, Luke started to slowly make out a huddle of shadows in the distance. His mind leapt ahead of him and tried to make those shadows form into people he desperately wanted to see, but he also knew to be cautious all the same.
"Because what if they've forgotten about you?" Asch said flatly. "What if they've moved on? We don't know how long it's been. What if you're not needed?"
It was the first time Asch said "you" instead of "we". It made Luke uncomfortable, but he didn't say anything. He felt himself break into a nervous sweat.
"We have to make sure," was all he said. Asch seemed to shrug it off, but Luke knew he was just as excited as he.
It was only near the end of the song that Luke could finally confirm that it was them. His friends. Tear sat on a large rock, her pose elegant and dark within her usual uniform. Her eyes were closed, her entire voice given over to the notes she sang, a small smile upon her lips, despite the tears that ran down her cheeks.
Guy stood at her side, his eyes locked on Luke already, though Luke wasn't sure if Guy was able to make out his features from that distance. Guy's face was tight, pained, but also stubborn. It was familiar. It had been missed.
On Tear's other side was Anise, flanked by Jade. Both wore their old uniforms, too. Only Natalia and Guy wore different – more formal, even – than the others. It was clear that the two had taken their new elevated roles seriously.
Anise cuddled Tokunaga to her chest, but in a confident way, not the gesture of a child in fear, but of a young woman on the cusp of a womanhood she wasn't sure she could handle just yet. Yet her eyes and face were the same mix of petulant child and powerful fighter.
Jade stood as still as a tree, his hands in his pockets and his eyes trained on Luke. His face gave away nothing, and Luke suddenly realised that it wasn't because Jade didn't care, but because he didn't think he had been able to care – and was realising that he finally did.
Guy, like Jade, still watched Luke come closer. Natalia hadn't noticed; she stood with her hands clasped before her, her eyes closed. As a Seventh Fonist, she could sense the fonons float close to them, attracted to Tear's voice. But they wouldn't be used. Once the song ended, they would fade into the air again. But Natalia seemed to be able to feel them, and looked soothed. She looked older, somehow, a way she held herself that hadn't been there before.
Asch murmured her name, then, a whisper in Luke's mind, ond that almost made him hesitate and doubt himself. But the name was followed by a mental glower, so Luke shook it off. It was something Luke would always regret: the one thing that drove Asch to achieve all he did was the person who was now forever out of his touch.
The reason for that was singing the Hymn, oblivious to the fact that her voice summoned more than fonons. She's breathtaking, Luke realised, feeling a pressure in his heart that seemed to want to choke him. Her confidence, with the shadows of deep loss and former illness, hung around her like a thin curtain.
Guy was still staring at Luke. Luke wondered if Guy thought he was a monster looking for dinner, since his hand was resting on the pommel of his father's sword. But his face had changed. It was one of disbelief.
Luke stopped. He waited. Jade was staring at him too. Anise was looking at her feet, listening intently to the music.
When Luke heard what Natalia said, he was shocked. A whole year had passed? No wonder everyone looked different. Asch was also shocked, and frustrated: to him, it was time wasted. But it truly hadn't seemed like a whole year had passed…
When they turned to go, Luke suddenly wondered if they hadn't noticed him after all, or that they really had thought he was just an opportunistic monster. He started forward, unable to keep his steps quiet. Tear stopped, like a pillar before him, and it took only a moment for the others to stop and question her.
Then she turned around, and their eyes met.
Luke stared at her, feeling the blood rush to his face. Asch was quiet, his focus on Natalia, who was also staring, now. But Luke's frenzied heart wasn't speeding up for her, but for Tear.
"Luke…?" Tear whispered. Guy looked at him, then smiled slowly, not saying a word. He may not have known the whole story, but Luke was back – the new Luke, judging by the sword – and that was all that mattered.
"You came back..? But… how?"
Asch mumbled something, and Luke couldn't help but smile. He echoed Asch's words without thinking, shocking Asch himself, gratitude flowing through them both. But then he also added, for himself, that he had promised to come back.
Tear hesitated, one hand out and trembling. Then, she lunged forward, and Luke caught her, holding her so close that he could feel how hard she was shaking. Her hands dug into his back so hard it hurt, but he resting his head on hers and shut his eyes tight.
"You idiot…" Tear whispered, choked, but so that only he could hear. Luke chuckled softly, and Asch seemed to agree; it was hardly a romantic greeting, but the words actually meant more to Luke than a typical greeting would have, and Asch felt the same way. It wasn't like Tear to blurt out purple prose, so her only way to convey her true feeling was to be rude.
But to Luke, it was actually kind of perfect.