Disclamer: Not mine, Bellisario's
They can't take that away from me *
There are many many crazy things
That will keep me loving you
And with your permission
May I list a few
The way you wear your hat
The way you sip your tea
The memory of all that
No they can't take that away from me
The way your smile just beams
The way you sing off key
The way you haunt my dreams
No they can't take that away from me
We may never never meet again,
on that bumpy road to love
Still I'll always,
always keep the memory of
The way you hold your knife
The way we danced till three
The way you changed my life
No they can't take that away from me
True as they were, the words reverberated inside Mac's head, while she was lying on the couch. They, whoever 'they' might be, couldn't take all her memories away. The way he walked, the way he wore his uniform, especially his dress-white, the way he drank his tea. The way their friendship had changed her life.
After their teary goodbye in his office she had hoped they would stay in touch. And they did, in a way. Exchanging emails, and an occasionally phone call or chat-session. However, it wasn't enough. It was flat, lifeless, like between two vague acquaintances.
She took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes before a tear could escape. Self-pity wouldn't do her any good and with that thought she rose to her feet. It would be Harriet's birthday in a couple of days and Bud had mentioned a surprise party. Going out to find a birthday gift would put her mind elsewhere. She grabbed her coat and purse and left the apartment.
The way she smiled, the way she entered a room, the way she drank her coffee, marine style and strong enough to wake the dead. The way she had changed his live. Yes, she haunted his dreams. He missed her, more than he anticipated he would.
Harmon Rabb Jr. lay on his bunk bed at the Patrick Henry, the words of the song he just heard still in his head. He had thought returning to flight status would be the culmination of all of his dreams. And it had been, for the first couple of weeks. Nothing could beat the thrill of being launched from the deck, controlling the heavy machine, the roaring engines. Knowing you're king in your own little cockpit.
But after those first weeks … Harm sighed. Being on sea was more than flying and there were too many long hours. Hours of thinking, hours of missing. Missing his own loft, the one he had restored with so much love. Missing the intellectual challenge of his work as a lawyer. Missing his buddies at the ball game. Missing his friends. Missing his best friend … Mac, Sarah.
His thoughts wandered along the previous days. The boy, a first year's shipman had been in a panic. Harm remembered the look in his eyes when he begged him to help him, swearing he had no idea how the stash of cocaine had ended up between his belongings. Being midseas the CAG had wanted a speedy trial and since Harm still had his license he was assigned to defend Toni Sparelli, a Washington lad of Italian descend, just 18 years of age. Harm knew it would be a difficult case since all evidence seemed to point at him and, to make matters worse, Toni had been in trouble before and had been given the choice between enlisting or doing time.
It had taken Harm several hours going through the statements to find the flaw and he had managed to proof the boy's innocence and point out the real perpetrators.
It was only now he came to realize winning a case, knowing justice had been served gave him the same, not thrill, that wasn't the word, but … he struggled to find the right expression … deep satisfaction as a well done landing.
He kept in touch with home. However, it was not enough. Damned, he shared more with Bud than with his best friend and partner Sarah MacKenzie. Correct that, former partner. He wondered briefly with whom she would be partnered now. It didn't change the fact he was still thinking about her as 'his'.
Not that it was wrong sharing with Bud or Harriet for that matter, after all they were very good friends as well, but … they were not Sarah. He let out a wry chuckle realizing he called her Sarah again, after all those years calling her 'Mac' she now was Sarah, at least in his dreams.
A knock at the door jerked him out of his thoughts.
"Enter."
"The CAG wants to see you."
"I'll be right there."
The shipman nodded and disappeared.
Harm straightened his uniform and headed for the captain's office. On his knocking he heard an 'enter" and inside he was ordered to take a seat.
"First, I'm giving you a special assignment. In two days a plane has to be flown back to the States,' CAG Pike started. "You will leave on Saturday late afternoon, spend the night at Dyce Airport near Aberdeen, Northern Scotland and fly to Washington next day. Refuelling by the SS Watership mid Atlantic. Commercial flight back to Italy, Friday late afternoon."
Harm nodded, hiding a smile. That gave him 4-5 days with his friends.
"Then," the CAG leaned back in his chair, "there is something personal I wanted to discuss."
Harm waited.
"How do you see your future here?"
"Sir?" Harm asked confused.
"What I'm going to say now is confidential." He waited for Harm to nod again. "You are by far the best aviator I had in a long time, if not ever. To me your age is an advantage, you are beyond the competition the younger ones tend to throw themselves in. Lt. Buxton was a sorry example of that. But you have been out of flight duty for a long time. Too long, I'm afraid. Some of those guys have over 1000 flight hours more than you do. And sadly that's what will earn them promotion, long before you. Staying here will put your rise on the career ladder to an end, you must be aware of that. Secondly, I watched you defend Toni. You loved what you were doing and you're damned good at it, too. I wasn't willing to set a dime on his innocence but you proved it beyond doubt. And third, I don't think you're happy here. You've outgrown life at sea and you have nothing to prove anymore. Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything negative to say about your performance. But I'm starting to miss the spark."
He rose to his feet.
"I suggest you use the days away form ship to think about it. I would be sad to see you go, as I said you are the best aviator I had in a long time, but you're my old pal's son and although it's not very military, it's your wellbeing I'm concerned about. Dismissed," he ended a bit abruptly.
Harm came to attention. "Aye, aye Sir." He turned around and was about to leave when the CAG added "And don't be afraid by choosing another career you would disappoint your old man, he would be very proud of you, no matter what."
A lump in his throat Harm nodded and left the room.
Four days later
Harm whistled while changing lanes. Everything had gone smoothly the previous days: his flights, his one night stay in Scotland, his debriefing. Following Toni's begging he had visited his parents to set their minds at ease completely. Mr. Sparelli had turned out to be the owner of a recommended Italian restaurant. Harm chuckled at the memory. He had hugged Harm and kissed him on both cheeks. "You saved my boy, my Toni. You will be my guest, eat free the rest of your life, yes?" It had taken Harm a long time to convince him he wasn't allowed to accept anything except words of thanks. Finally he had managed to settle on one free meal and a table anytime he wanted one.
After that he had slept for a couple of hours and now felt completely ready for Harriet's surprise party. No one, not even Bud knew he was coming. In the seat next to him were the presents, first for Harriet and next for all of his friends. He had even managed to purchase a couple of metres tartan, in the colours of the MacKenzies. His Sarah would love that. He pulled a face; 'his Sarah' he could wish. He slowed down a bit. Being late as a habit, he now deliberately wanted to be a bit late in order to have all other guests present for his 'big entrée'.
In the next lane a red corvette passed by, driving only a few miles too fast. Contrary to her habit Mac was running late and trying to make up for lost time. The interview that afternoon had taken more time than she had anticipated and on top of that her car had had trouble starting. She frowned. The SUV she just passed by looked eerily familiar to Harm's, even the driver had the same dark hair. But she knew it could not be him. Harm was a couple of thousands miles away, patrolling the Yugoslavian air space.
The party already in full swing no one but Bud heard the bell ring. He cocked his brows, not expecting anyone else but went to answer the door. Mac saw him leave the room and heard his surprised yell. Moments later he appeared again and asked for attention.
"We have an unexpected but very welcome guest," he announced, and turned to beckon Harm in. For a moment there was a silence and then the guests started to throng around him, eager to greet him. Harriet gave him a firm hug and he kissed her cheek, congratulating her with her birthday.
Mac stood aside for a moment, taking in what was happening in front of her. Reality had a hard time to sink in. When he finally was released by their fellow officers he turned to her. She gave him a smile and raised her hand to touch his face.
"What are you doing?"
"Making sure it's you," she sighed. Harm pulled her in a hug and she melted against him, pushing her face in the crook of his neck for a moment to hide her tears. He was here.
The evening went smooth and pleasant, Mac hardly ever leaving Harm's side. Around eleven Bud called it a day, since every one of them, except for Harm, had to work the next day. They all said their goodbyes and headed for their cars. Harm politely waited for Mac to drive off but since she didn't start the engine, he stepped out again, walked over to her car and leaned over to her window to ask what's wrong. Mac all but cursed "It won't start. It had trouble before with starting but now it's dead all together!" Harm walked over to the hood and signalled her to pop it. He had a look, asked her to try starting again, then walked over to her door again declaring "the battery died."
Now Mac was really cursing. Harm patiently waited till she was finished and then offered "Can I give you a ride?" Mac sighed and nodded "yes, please."
They drove in silence. Mac looked out of the window at the car lights. Harm grew more worried when and was about to say something when she blurted out: "Why did you have to come back?"
* Song by Ella Fitzgerald