A/N: This is a short fic; Martin has been shot and Sam is dealing with the aftermath … let me know what you think. It's kind of like 'Fallout' …

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Alone.

What was it about hospital waiting rooms that made you feel so isolated? Maybe it was the despair … the pain … the loss. The people all around waiting for the bad news to hit …

"Agent Spade?" The nurse stood over her, nervously. "Excuse me?"

Sam looked up. She was tired; couldn't understand what the nurse was saying to her. "Any news?" she asked, cutting through the nurse.

She looked uncomfortably away from her, and Sam sank her head back into her hands. "Agent Spade?" she said, a touch of desperation creeping into her voice. "The doctors are working as hard as they can …"

"Thank you," Sam said. What the hell does she expect me to say? she wondered angrily as the nurse walked away. Oh Martin … she thought despairingly, as her head dropped into her hands, what the hell were you doing?

*FLASH*

"I got people in here and I'm not afraid to hurt them!"

*FLASH*

"Martin what are you doing? Come back!"

*FLASH*

"I'll take their place …"

*FLASH*

A gunshot …

"Sam?"

Sam looked up and Jack came into her line of sight. "Oh … hey Jack," she said wearily.

"How's it going?"

"They don't know yet …" Despair crept into her voice. "He's still in surgery."

Jack sat down beside her. "How about you?"

"Me?" Sam looked surprised. "I'm fine."

Jack was unconvinced. "Sure Sam. Why don't you go get some rest? You've been here for six hours."

"No, I'm fine."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Don't block me out, Sam."

Sam frowned. "I'm not."

"I would put it to you that you have been here for six hours while a close friend is lying on the operating table fighting for his life; and you are telling me you're OK?" Jack said, using shock tactics to cut through the web that was preventing him from reaching Sam. From the stunned expression on Sam's face, he guessed he'd succeeded.

Her defences crumbled. Tears ran down her face; Jack took her in his arms. "It's OK … it's going to be OK …"

And he held her shaking form … and he remembered …

****************

"We've got an armed man with two hostages. The hostages are his wife Sally and their ten-year-old daughter Miriam. The man is called Will Barnes. He has a semi-automatic and enough C4 to destroy everything within 500 metres of the office block." The field commander – Thomas Graves –  had sounded … angry. Not methodical, not calm – as field commanders were expected to be – but angry.

Thomas grabbed Jack's arm. "How the hell did you lose him?"

Jack shook his head. "He was too quick for us."

Thomas sighed in exasperation, running his hand through his hair. "OK … that doesn't matter now. All that matters is getting those people the hell out of that building … we have to clear the area!" he said loudly to the others in the room. "If I see a person within one kilometre of that office block …" He left the threat hanging on the air.

Jack turned away as his phone rang. "Martin?"

"We can't get a visual. What's the situation?"

"He has C4 and a semi-automatic. There are two hostages – his wife and his daughter." He paused, knowing what Martin would be thinking.

Martin groaned inwardly. How had they not seen that coming? Why had they not offered Sally and Miriam police protection? They had known that Will would be after them. "Jack …"

"I know what you're thinking, Martin. It wasn't your fault. We couldn't have stopped a man as desperate as Will Barnes."

"Jack, that's our job!! It's what we're supposed to do – protect them."

"I know, Martin, but –"

A gunshot rang out, shattering the silence. Martin ducked, swearing. "Shit! What the hell?!"

"I'll call you back," Jack told him, before hanging up. "Thomas?"

Thomas nodded. "I know. We're trying to get through. He turned to the man sitting by the phone. "Have you got him?"

"No – no," he replied, distracted, holding the phone in one hand, his eyes frantically staring out the window down the road towards the office block. "Goddamn!" he exclaimed, slamming a fist against the desk. "It's engaged."

"Keep trying, keep trying!" Thomas exclaimed. He listened as one of the troops came in over the radio:

"Do we have a green light?"

"No," Thomas said, glancing at Jack. "Negative, negative. Hold your fire. Do not enter the building; I repeat do not enter the building."

Jack turned away from the chaos, looked out the window, down the road towards the office block where a young family that should have been celebrating their daughter's win in the dancing competition were instead trapped in a hostage situation … with one of their own as the hostage-taker …

"It's ringing!" exclaimed the man by the phone. The room fell silent immediately, all eyes on the young man holding a phone in his hand and licking his dry lips nervously. He started involuntarily, then said, "Will. What's happening down there, man? … We heard a shot." He fell silent, listening. "Listen to me Will – I want to believe you that no one got hurt, that it was an accident, but I need proof of life …" His voice died away as he listened to Will's answer. It evidently didn't satisfy him, as he appeared to interrupt with: "That's all very well, but – do you understand me, Will? My superiors will not believe you – they need proof of life. I need proof of life if I'm to convince them that it was an accident …" He paused, listening. "Can you put Sally on the line for me? Thanks Will." He gave a thumbs up to Thomas, who breathed a visible sigh of relief.

"Sally," said the man, "are you OK?" He paused, as she spoke, then, "And Miriam?" He gave another thumbs up to Thomas as he listened to Sally's reply. "OK – was it an accident? … OK … no, everything is going to be fine, Sally – you have to trust me, we're going to get you out of there and no one is going to get hurt … OK …" He started and then put the phone down. "I lost him … he hung up; he must have grabbed the phone from Sally."

Thomas sighed. "And?"

"No one got hurt. Barnes panicked as he thought Sally was going for the door; he squeezed the trigger accidentally. The shot went through the roof." He rested his head on his hands for a second.

"You all right?" Jack asked, noting the dark shadows under the man's eyes and the concern in his eyes.

He looked up, startled, before taking a moment to think. "Yeah …" he said with a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's that little girl I'm worried about."

Jack nodded. He knew exactly what he meant. If it had been Kate or Hannah … He forced himself not to think about that.

"Oh shit," Thomas exclaimed suddenly. "Jack!"

Jack walked quickly over to the window to stand next to Thomas. Thomas gestured out into the street. Jack looked out, and felt his heart sink. Martin …

Martin was walking towards the office buidling. Jack immediately tried his phone, but exclaimed in frustration, muttering "He's switched the damn thing off!" He tried Sam. "Sam! What the hell –"

"I couldn't stop him," Sam said, sounding almost hysterical. "He said he had to help them and I couldn't stop him going in. He left his gun and everything; he said he wouldn't stand there and hear them die."

Jack swore loudly, then covered the mouthpiece. "He's going in," he told Thomas. Thomas hit the window sill in anger.

"Doesn't he know no one got hurt? Damn! That boy's going to stuff this whole situation up …"

The phone rang, and the man picked it up. "Will?" His eyes widened in alarm. "What?" He looked despairingly at Thomas. "A man? Coming towards you? Hang on for one second …" He covered the mouthpiece. "What the hell?!" he hissed at Thomas, even as they heard Martin yell:

"Will! Will! I know you can hear me! Let them go, and I'll take their place!"

"Did you hear that?" the man said into the phone. He paused. "Yes – he's serious. … You will?" He covered the mouthpiece. "He says he'll let Sally and Miriam go if our man goes in."

"Tell him it's a deal," Thomas said immediately. Jack looked up.

"Martin is part of my team; what gives you the right to send him in there?" Jack exclaimed, angry. He had a bad feeling about this …

"Wake up, Jack, he's going in anyway!" Thomas replied angrily. "The least we can do is try to gain something out of it …"

Jack shook his head, but conceded the point. Thomas nodded at the man, and he relayed it to Will. "It's a deal. Open the door and let Sally and Miriam out."

Thomas and Jack stared down the street. Martin stood now a few metres in front of the door; his eyes widened slightly in shock as the door opened. Will was standing by the door, and Sally and Miriam ran out into the street … Martin glanced back down the street, then walked inside …

The door shut behind him …

***************************************

Sam straightened up, sniffing. Jack left his arm around her shoulders. "He's going to be OK."

"How do you know?" Sam said, looking at him. "He got shot in the neck, Jack, what kind of chance do you seriously think he has?" She was yelling now, on her feet, taking out her anger and frustration.

"There's nothing we can do, Sam. The doctors are working as hard as they can. Martin's fate is in their hands now." He held out a hand to her. "Sit down, Sam. Talk to me."

Sam sat down, but ignored his hand. "I could have stopped him," she said after a few seconds. "I could have saved him."

"No – you couldn't have. No one could have. Martin knew exactly what he was doing; he went in there knowing that he might not come back out alive, and Sam if you think anything else about this situation you are kidding yourself."

She looked up, surprised by the intensity of Jack's words. "Jack …"

"Agent Spade?"

Sam looked up at the nurse, who had come to stand beside her. "This is Agent Malone," Sam said, noticing the questioning look in the nurse's eyes. "He's a colleague." She paused, taking a deep breath. "Well?"

"Please come with me," the nurse said. "Both of you, if you like."

"Thank you," Jack said, rising to his feet beside Sam. He followed the nurse down the corridor …

***************************************

"Thirty minutes!" Thomas exclaimed. "He's been in there for thirty minutes, and we haven't heard a peep."

"I know," Jack said quietly. "Just – give him time. Give the boy time."

Thomas turned back to the window. "I hope you're right Jack –"

He stopped abruptly as a shot rang out. For a second, he – like Jack – stared down the street towards the office building, before springing into action. "Green light!" he yelled. "Green light! Get in there!"

Jack watched, heart in his mouth, as members of SWAT charged into the office building. He watched as they brought out Will Barnes, wrists cuffed behind his back. He watched as they wheeled out a stretcher. He watched as Sam struggled to control her emotions, as Danny held her shoulders, as Vivian tried to carry on with 'business'. He watched as Martin's hand slipped off the stretcher. He watched the rain pour down.

***************************************

They entered the doctor's office, Jack first. Sam was pale, and as they sat down she clutched the arm of the chair for support. Oh God, she thought, oh God let him be OK … I don't want to loose him … I can't loose him … I love him … Her eyes widened as she realised this – realised what she had never said … what I should have told him over and over again … I love you, Martin Fitzgerald … I don't wanna loose you like this, just as I'm beginning to realise what you mean to me … don't leave me alone Martin, don't leave me now …

"Well?" Jack said at last to the doctor, throat dry.

The doctor looked away, sadness in his eyes. "I'm sorry …"

~Fin~