Ave Maria, gratia plena
With every lyric, with every note, he felt his heart cracking into pieces, bit by bit. The soft voices of the chorus and the gentle sound of a trumpet blocking out everything but his own breathing; the pace of which grew with every minute that passed. He knew this day would come, but nothing could prepare him for this moment. The moment in which he felt like his whole world was crashing down around him.
Maria gratia, plena
He looked around at his surroundings as the bridesmaids started making their way down the aisle. He noticed a few guests wiping away tears, most likely out of joy. A woman at the front wiped away her tears with a delicate, lace-trimmed handkerchief, probably the bride's mother. Eren felt his eyes start to brim with tears of his own, but these would not be out of joy.
Dominus Tecum
Sorrow. Heartbreak. His unrequited love.
He looked over to the man standing beside him, at the altar in front of the priest – to the man who was, and always will be, the object of his unrequited feelings. The man who had, over the years, grown to be one of his best friends and the one person whom Eren cared about most. Levi's undercut styled as pristine as the, no doubt designer, tuxedo he adorned. Eren thought Levi had never looked so handsome, albeit heart wrenchingly so.
Benedicta tu in mulieribus
Turning his attention away from Levi, Eren saw Mikasa, the last bridesmaid, making her way down the aisle. As she approached the altar, her eyes met with Eren's, giving him a knowing, sorrowful look. He gave her a weak smile, as he still desperately tried to keep his tears from spilling down his cheeks. He mouthed the words 'you look beautiful' to his sister, a gentle smile forming on his lips. She gave him a sad smile and a small nod before taking her place.
Any minute now, the bride would be walking down the aisle towards her anxiously waiting soon-to-be husband.
Et benedictus fructus ventris, Iesus
Petra appeared at the end of the aisle, looking like a princess straight out of a fairytale. Her arm linked with her father's as they exchanged smiles, and she began her walk towards the altar. Her dress, a shimmering white, contrasted with the red rose petals that littered her path. Eren heard Levi take in a sharp breath when he had turned around to see Petra in her gown for the first time. He extended a comforting hand to Levi's shoulder, giving him a pat and a gentle squeeze. Levi briefly turned to look at his best friend, a genuine smile gracing his otherwise stoic face. As Petra situated herself at the altar, Levi's attention left Eren to focus completely on the woman before him. With Eren's arm returned to his side, he balled his hands into fists while doing his best to look normal; after all, he should be extremely happy for his best friend. His heart should not feel like it was shattering into a million pieces every time he looked at the happy couple beside him. And yet, there he was, the best man: chest aching and tears threatening to spill.
The music stopped as the priest began speaking. Petra looked like she was the happiest woman in the world; tears of joy occasionally threatening to mess up her perfect makeup, and a smile worth a million dollars ever present. Levi's face looked as passive as ever, except those truly close to him could see the slight uplift at one of the corners of his mouth. Eren could tell that Levi was genuinely happy to be marrying Petra, the woman he loves dearly. Eren had gotten lost in his head and before he knew it, the priest was announcing the newly married couple. He hadn't even noticed them kiss; maybe that was for the best.
"It is now my privilege to introduce to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Levi Ackerman!"
The church erupted in applause as the chorus and trumpet began their melody again. Levi and Petra shared smiles and began their way down the aisle hand in hand, showered with rose petals from the guests.
Sancta Maria, Mater Die, ora pro nobis peccatoribus
In that moment, when the truth finally hit Eren like waves crashing down over him and drowning him in his sorrow, he realized he had lost the one person whom he had loved with all his heart. Sure, Levi was still alive and kicking, but how could Eren tell a now married man that he was in love with him? He had lost his chance. He was a coward and now he would pay the price. Maybe Levi would have reciprocated Eren's feelings, maybe not, but now Eren would never know and he would have to live his life alongside his best friend and his wife.
Nunc et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.
The chorus and musicians finished as the guests began filing out of the church. Eren was left numb, standing at the altar. He plastered a soft smile to his face to avoid possible concerned questions from those around him. Mikasa made her way over grabbing his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Will you be okay?" She asked, her voice low and laced with concern. She knew how much Eren loved Levi. How much he will always love him.
"Yeah...just…give me a moment."
Mikasa nodded and turned to Armin, who also wore the same concerned expression. Before Armin could speak to Eren, Mikasa whispered to him and he nodded, allowing her to guide him out of the church. Within minutes, Eren was left alone in the church, although the clean up crew would be coming any second. He took this time to let go of the tears he had been holding back for days, months, even years. His body wracked with sobs as he collapse into himself on the steps of the altar. His heart ached with a pain so strong he could have sworn it had been literally split in half. The pain of Levi marrying someone else, that he will never know of Eren's love, and most of all, that he will never reciprocate that love, tore Eren apart. He blamed himself, but who was he kidding; Levi loves Petra and even if Eren had confessed, he was sure it still would have ended this way.
Suddenly, he heard the heavy church doors opening. He rushed to desperately wipe away the tears and erase any sense of sorrow and heartbreak on his face. When he looked up, he saw Levi peeking through the doorway.
"Oi, brat. What are you still doing in here? There's a reception to go to and I can't go without my best man,' he said, sounding pissed off but obviously teasing. Levi narrowed his eyes, inspecting Eren in his position crouched on the steps. "Brat, are you okay? Your eyes are red…have you been crying?" A concerned look crept onto Levi's face as he made a movement to step into the room, towards Eren.
Eren faked a smile and held up his hand for Levi to stop. "I'm fine, I'm fine. I just missed a step and landed hard on my ass. It's nothing, really." He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Guess I was just so excited that I tripped over these steps" He let out a chuckle before continuing, ignoring Levi's scrutinizing stare. "You go on ahead outside, I'll be out in a sec. And um, congrats," Eren ended, looking straight into Levi's eyes, trying to convey how much he truly cared for Levi's happiness.
Levi looked to the side and scoffed, "Only you would be a big enough idiot to trip over yourself." Then his eyes locked with Eren's, his facial expression becoming soft. "But thanks. It means a lot to have you here…and in my life in general." Eren felt his heart squeeze…well, what was left of it. Levi continued, "Yeah yeah, I know I'm not usually sappy or anything, so don't get used to it. Just, hurry the fuck up and get your ass out here, we have to take pictures." Before Levi disappeared behind the door, he pointed a finger at Eren.
"And if you have to shit, do it now and do it fast. I don't want you looking like a constipated little shit in my wedding photos." And with that, Levi gave a smirk and exited, letting the heavy door close behind him.
Eren dropped his composure and the breath he had not noticed he had been holding in. This is what his life was going to be like - pining for his best friend while using every ounce of his effort to act normally around him. He let the last of his tears slowly trail their way down his cheeks as he stood up. Straightening out his suit, he made his way towards the doors. He wiped the last of his tears away, hoping that his eyes weren't too red or puffy. Taking a deep breath, he reached for the handle and pushed the door open and into the sunlight.
'Truly, this must be a fate worse than death,' were his thoughts as his eyes landed upon the happy couple, standing in the warm afternoon sunlight. He felt his heart shatter for what must be the millionth time as he made his way towards his friends, plastering his best smile on his face.
Eren thought back to the lyrics of the song the couple had chosen to play during their ceremony.
Pray for us sinners now in the hour of our death
As beautiful a song it is, he couldn't help but find it ironic. The married couple was happier than ever, but here was Eren, the one dying on the inside, wishing for a miracle. For the prayer of Mary to ease his sorrow.
(Notes: This is my first fanfic. I was listening to Chris Botti's cover of Ave Maria and I thought, why the hell not. So I hashed out this...masochistic piece in about two hours. I haven't even tried to write a fanfic since I was in middle school...and now I'm in college so there's that. Well, I hope you enjoyed it and I apologize for any grammatical errors etc. - It's 4am and I'm always too lazy to edit my work. Any reviews/comments are greatly appreciated!)