We all have these abilities, the abilities to speak, walk, listen and hide. We never really realize that these things are gifts; privileges. That without one of them we would feel broken. Speech might be the most precious out of all of them. It gives us the ability to let others know what we're thinking, what we're feeling. It also allows us to sing, but that's of no relevance right now.
Sam used speech to the best of his abilities and never thought twice about it. He used it to explain things to Dean. To convince people they were trying to save them. He used it to exorcise demons, to pray. Dean used it too, though in a more crass way. Castiel used it as well, to tell the boys he was confused or maybe speak in Enochian. Gabriel, he used it as a safeguard, a way to protect himself from hurt. Lucifer used it to taunt and torture; to break you down and leave you there.
So many different ways for it to be used. What we don't figure out is how we can use it to do almost anything. How we can use it to soothe a child's fears, to negotiate a treaty, to even save lives. Though, everything good comes with a little footnote of badbadbad attached to it. Therefore: speech is powerful and should be used with caution; it can sway masses to good or evil. Sometimes we don't use speech though; we ignore it in favor of hiding something.
Secrets. Something so completely human. A little corner in our minds, that we never let anyone into, at least not purposefully. This part of us that we're ashamed of. Secrets are kept in the hopes of not facing judgment. It's something we all subconsciously agree on: 'I can tell them that. But…oh…no, I can't tell them that.' It's this fear of what someone will think or do. Thinking this person will never forgive you, never trust you again. It's the idea that everything is safe inside our heads. All of it is fear, the fear of judgment, rejection and shame.
Sam understood all of this acutely. Sometimes his thought process revolved around: 'Ok, how do I keep this from Dean? He'll be disgusted & disappointed if he finds out.' And one secret always leads to another.
It's a cycle, which repeats itself over and over, once it's started. The first step is doing something you regret or are ashamed of. Then you make the decision to never tell anyone about it. Finally, it festers and seethes inside of us so much that we have to let someone know. It eats away at us so brutally that when it is revealed relief comes with the fear. Glad we no longer have to hide, but scared of the person's reaction.
Dean always looked so disappointed when he discovered Sam's secrets. He looks like a wounded animal, but behind that there's anger and judgment. And so much fear too. Dean has his secrets too. He lets them eat away at his already broken soul, but never succumbs to them.
Secrets, we all have them, and there's never a moment when you don't. Even the most open of people are hiding something. Even the shameless and the regretless. Speech, most all of us possess this ability. Though we all utilize it in different ways. Never forget, when it comes down to the basics, we're all the same.