Basically, I was wondering what the gods thought as they watched Percy's escapade in Waterland, athough it didn't turn out right. So now it's a parody of everything weird they secretly do when Percy isn't there, simply because I got bored and they're fun to write. My first PJO story, so...it might not be perfect (I know it isn't) but, it's a start.

Without further ado I give you chapter 1: What really happened at Waterland

I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians

Hephaestus grinned. They had finally set it off…his greatest trap. Being able to catch Aphrodite and Ares in that net had been fantastic, sure, but this would be even better. In less than a minute they would be on display for all of Olympus to see, but most importantly the other Olympians. He attempted half-heartedly to wipe the soot from his face and hands, than quickly appeared where the action was…Olympus.

Already the other gods were there, sitting on their thrones. Hephaestus sat down on his own and glanced around at the others. His smirk of self-satisfaction quickly fell as he noticed, very suddenly, the presence of two that ought not to be here. There was his wife Aphrodite, and there was Ares so…oh no. It had to be them that had set of the trap but it couldn't be because there they were in front of him….Not good, oh, not good at all.

The trap, the genius trap he had come up with after much hard work was over with. Someone else had wandered into his scheme, had foiled what should have been the perfect trap to catch his cheating wife with that horrible god of war. The clock was almost down to zero by now, and he could barely stand the remaining 20 seconds.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, or, more appropriately, across the room in the head throne, Zeus was simply bored. Today he had been planning the best talk with Melvin-his stuffed dachshund. It was common practice for the king of the gods just to bring him to life and let the animal listen to all of the problems he had. After Hera had brought them to their latest stint of marriage counseling, the counselor had desperately suggested he express his feelings first to his dachshund (A 2,000 birthday present from Artemis and Apollo, who couldn't think of anything better) to help him explain them to his wife. Unfortunately, while he found Melvin easy to talk to, Hera just liked to nag, then complain about his hair, and then nag some more, often enough that Zeus was more and more frequently considering how good of a queen of the gods Melvin would be.

Melvin the stuffed sometimes alive dachshund aside, Hephaestus had set an alarm to call them all there once his trap had been sprung. Now finally looking at him (the sight of his crippled son didn't usually didn't approve his mood-it reminded him of Hera. Melvin never would have been that mean.) Zeus realized that his favorite son- favorite legitimate son-had turned very pale, which was strange as his skin was usually darker from the fires. The countdown finally ended, and concerns for his son were driven from Zeus' mind.

There on the wide-screen TV lowered at the front of the U-shaped throne arrangement, was him. Maybe as a child Zeus would have been able to get along better with his brothers, if they had grown up together. But they hadn't, and so arrangements between the three were always strained, especially since that time they had captured him and made him promise to be a better leader. Nowadays, he did not trust Poseidon, especially since he found out about that boy who had been the result of his brother's broken oath on the River Styx- not to have more children. But there in front of him, on the screen, was Percy Jackson.

To Zeus it did not matter that technically he had broken the oath first when Thalia had come about-he was the king, after all. All leaders have affairs nowadays and break the very rules they are supposed to uphold, look at all of those U.S. governors, look at Bill Clinton, or Tiger Woods! To the mind of Zeus, which was, in matters of staying faithful, very similar to that of a 4-year-old's, he could do whatever he wanted. Unless Melvin said so, 'cause then it was off limits. That is one persuasive dachshund.

In the meantime, thoughts of Melvin and everything he would have said and or done aside, the king god noted the caption on the screen. Waterland, must be some sort of theme park. There was his-Zeus shivered when he thought of it, but he forced the words out-there was his nephew, and, on a happier note, his granddaughter. That was very strange for him to think of, but he did what he thought Hera would have wanted him to and accepted the fact that both of those children could claim direct relation to him.

To his right sat Poseidon, who watched with great interest as his son controlled the water- his powers were quite amazing, especially as he had almost no practice using them at all. He saw Athena wince at the sight of her daughter- one of her favorite children of all time-being in such close contact with his son. She would probably brush it off as her being in such close contact with spiders, even those of the mechanical sort. Oh, Hephaestus would be getting quite the tongue-lashing form her later for forcing her daughter to such dire straits. At least, Athena considered them to be so. She would never consider the fact that perhaps her child did not very much mind being in close vicinity with his, although Athena would rather refer to him as "Poseidon's spawn". And she had, at every given opportunity, on many different occasions, in front of many different legions of people (or, more accurately, non-human people).

Hephaestus was mortified. His greatest trap had been wasted on the demigod. Ares and Aphrodite, both of whom had figured out the true targets of the trap (a.k.a. them) and found it quite hilarious. It suddenly hit him: Ares had known all along about his trap. He had purposely sent Percy Jackson and his companions to foil his plot, successfully changing his role in the whole shenanigan from victim to tormentor. And oh, was the god of metalworking embarrassed. Well, Zeus didn't need to worry about the light color in his cheeks anymore- they had quickly turned red as apples.

Still, through the entire interesting event, no one spoke a word. It did not look as if they two demigods would make it, and all were sure tat he was suicidal when Percy told Annabeth to unbuckle her seatbelt.

"I see what he's doing," Athena muttered. "Very clever." The others pretended they knew what she was saying so as to not have to endure another rant on intelligence from the goddess of wisdom, while she was too engrossed in the screen to note their half-hearted response. She stayed silent as Annabeth yelled at Percy to follow her lead instead of vice versa, and when her daughter successfully vaulted them over the gates Athena just barely allowed a smile flitting across her face to betray her feelings. She was proud of her daughter.

There was a catch in the breath of both Poseidon and Athena when they saw their children go flying through the air, then a sigh of relief and they were saved by Grover. After smashing into a photo board and getting up with a few extra scratches and a fantastic story to tell about how Grover looked as Noo-Noo the friendly whale, Percy turned to the camera one last time.

"Show's over! Thank you! Good Night!" he screamed at the cameras, and they returned to off position.

In the throne room of Olympus, there was a moment of silence. And then the legendary temper of the goddess of wisdom exploded all over the place, leaving some really ugly stains on the walls that would need more than Mr. Clean Magic Erasers to come out.

"HEPHAESTUS! You stupid bloody idiot! Why the Hades did you do that?! If you would just stop-"

"HEY! I didn't tell your daughter and the Seaweed brain to go and yuck it up in the Tunnel of Love in some abandoned theme park-" he retorted.

"DON'T TALK ABOUT MY SON LIKE THAT!" Poseidon thundered.

Ares was delighted. Already with ties between the gods so strained, his civil war would be easy. He should have just stolen Melvin; it would have brought about the same result! If only the gods weren't so random.

So what do you think? I think I'll do more chapters of what the gods thought at points in the book. Most of the chapters will be funnier, with an in-depth explanation of Melvin. So, do your part and review, or I will steal him and let Zeus (He's my buddy!) attack you. Review!