Maybe This Time
A/N: Ugh, I ship these two way too hard. I've ALWAYS wanted to write this one, but I never got the chance or was particularly motivated! This is my first time writing Hill x Fury, so I might be a little OOC. Feel free to criticize or write advice!
It was supposed to just be a planning session
When Director Fury had arrived at her office that morning, around 5 am, asking if they could meet later to determine the fate of the Helicarrier, and all its workers, she had simply thought it would be a simple meeting, just like before. It wasn't like that was the first time they had met up. Setting a time for 7:03pm, Maria thought nothing of it. It was set to be at Nick's quarters, as Maria's was near all the other executive agents, spies just like them. It had to be confidential, and these spies were just as trained as them. This wasn't the first time Maria had been at Nick's quarters, either.
She was, however, surprised, when Nick himself had cooked dinner for the two when she arrives at his private quarters. Usually, Nick insisted he couldn't cook, and they would order Chinese takeout or whatever snack Nick had in his cupboards that specified day. Old apples, cold turkey, or even jars of peanut butter, the spies have had worse during missions. This time, was different. Nick had tried his best to cook a simple soup. "A family recipe," he had claimed as she gave it a strange look. She was pleasantly surprised by its taste, a mix of Caribbean and Asian spices in a creamy white broth. Nick and Maria enjoyed themselves as they began to eat, while discussing reports from Romanoff and Barton about their mission in Switzerland after the events of Manhattan.
Finding herself growing more comfortable around Nick, the two begin to talk more about their personal lives and their past together as SHIELD agents. Nick had been in the position she currently was in, Deputy Director, when she had been part of the new recruits. What year had it been? 2005? They laugh as they remember their first meeting, an accidental match up during the recruits training session. Nick was supposed to be matched with their top recruit, but when he had fallen ill, she had taken his place, and found herself fighting the director of SHIELD. It had been nail biting, tense, and gasp worthy as they threw each other around the room, fighting with every tooth and nail they had. In the end, they had both been beat up, and it was called a draw.
Nick laughs heartily as she shows him the bruise he had caused on her, on her arm that had never quite gone away. In a surprise gesture, as she tries to pull her arm away, he reaches over and presses his lips against her skin, his lips gentle against the bruised skin. Her eyes had widened, as she stuttered for an explanation, he simply smiles. She tries to excuse herself, asking for a quick trip to the bathroom. Instead, when she stands, he stands as well, and grabs her elbow, turning her to him, and without a second's hesitation, pressing his lips against hers.
Her cheeks had flared in color, as she was surprised by his actions. This was Nicholas Fury. Director of SHIELD, probably one of the most terrifying men on this goddamned planet, and probably number one on the hit list of SHIELD's enemies, right after the Avengers. He was her boss, acquaintance, commander and Director. Why…why was he kissing her? She would never admit to anyone that her heart had been poisoned by him for so long, but then, feeling his lips against hers, and his arms around her strong body, she found her lips moving against his with soft passion, her arms around his neck. Their kiss began to become heated, but before they could move any further, she had pulled herself from his arms.
"H-Hill…" for the first time since she's known him, he was stuttering, "I…"
"Sir, what is this?" she had inquired, biting her lip as she looked at her flustered Director, "Is this what you've wanted from me all this time? Is this…" She couldn't find the word for that sensation when one has always wanted another, "the beginning of something, or…really just a meeting?"
"Hill," he began firmly, taking a step back to respectfully give her place, as he respected her like a captain respected the ocean, respecting its beauty, but knowing it was dangerous and life taking, "I respect you more than any Agent in the SHIELD cooperation, and goddamnit, and I can't help but want you with me. You don't bullshit me, you are tough, intelligent, beautiful, and I can never quite find the words to say what I want to say right now," He slowly reaches down, caressing her cheek gently with his rough hands, "But I want to know…if you're alright with this. With this becoming…this."
"We can give it a try," she whispers quietly after a while, nuzzling into his hand, "If this is what…we both want."
"Do you want this, Hill?" he asks softly, slowly wrapping his other arm around her, bringing her close to his body, "Do you want this broken, old shell of a man, when someone else can love you so much better than me?"
She thinks about his question, surprised he was talking about himself like this. No one could possibly want her like he did, and if she was to be honest with herself, she was sure she wouldn't particularly want another man to love her like he did. Without a word, she reaches up, pressing her rough lips against his once more, her answer being echoed so strongly in the kiss. When he lifts her in his arms, and they both fall upon the bed in his room, all conversation stops and their feelings finally show, as though the world was re-made just for them.
Now, lying in the bed next to him, she wonders if their love could ever be true. They lived lives of danger, lives of potential bloodshed and heartbreak. They both know, right now, that if they lost each other during the mission, it would never be a surprise. To lose him, or to lose her, would be devastating for each side of the wall they were connected by, and now that they've beaten the wall, if one of them died, it would crumble them deeply inside. Not that they weren't already broken, but maybe everybody was broken inside, it was just when you lost one of your pieces, you would be forever lost.
Taking a deep breath, Maria relaxes against the mattress of his bed, hearing him snore softly next to her. Barely any moonlight streamed into Nick's bedroom, she could hear her heart beating in sync with his breaths. Boom. Boom. Boom.
This wasn't the first time Maria had had a solely physical relationship with a man, no. Of course not. She was not pure, and this was not her first time a man had touched her in such a way, but the way Nick had touched her, holding her and pressing her close to him, she felt remade, new, whole again. Long ago, when others had touched her, she always felt as though she was the one undoing them, unraveling them and breaking them. But this time, this time, Nick had only fixed her, only going where she would allow.
"Maybe this time," she thinks to herself, her blue eyes staring up at the stationary ceiling fan above, her thoughts clouding her brain, "I'll be lucky. Maybe this time…he'll stay."
Silence.
"Maria," Nick groans from beside her, his strong, taut muscles slowly wrapping around her frame, pulling her close to him by surprise, "Get some rest."
"I thought we worked without sleep," she replies, secretly wondering how she hadn't caught herself talking aloud, that she was thinking out loud.
"Tomorrow, I'm letting us get some rest," he replies, and with another soft kiss, he plants it on her forehead, brushing her long brown hair behind her shoulders, "I want to talk about this."
"About…this?" she asks, looking down, her head pressed against his chest.
"About us."
"Is there an us, Nick?" she inquires, her voice soft and hoarse from their previous actions, "Is there?"
"There can be," he caresses his cheek again, smiling down at her taut, bitter face, "That's for you to decide. I won't force you into something you won't do."
"Ironic. You're the Director."
"And you're the Deputy, Hill."
"Your point?"
"You always do what I say."
"And somehow, that still doesn't convince me entirely."
"You know I don't beg, Hill."
"Neither do I sir. I'm not begging for this to become anything. But...if you want, it can become something..."
"…maybe."
"Maybe?"
"Maybe."
The pair both falls silent in each other's arms, as Maria ponders what the future will bring. Will it allow her to be with this man, this man she could never quite understand, and even sometimes, never fully support? Could there be a different ending for the pair of them, as spies and murderers? Fortune favors the brave, but she could never deem herself as brave as the lovers in the world. To allow themselves to get hurt by their lovers each day, they were braver then both of them. But everybody had always loved the foolish, the brave and the cowards. Was she and Nick brave for wanting this, for breaking every rule in the possible SHIELD handbook for wanting to be together, or was it simply an act of cowardice they had done it? Either way, she knew everybody had loved winners, and she was the winner of this particular battle. Nobody had loved her until today, and for now, she'll allow herself this. This one last bliss, this one last moment of love together, until the world could find them out. She would allow it, if could work, if they could work as one, but maybe this time…but just this time…it could happen. It could happen today, or this night, or maybe even years from the night…maybe love won't hurry away.