Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
-Robert Frost
In the days before the first seal was broken, all of the angels in heaven would sit and watch the righteous man walk the earth. Everyone was concerned with Dean's actions, Dean's whereabouts, Dean's every breath and step. No one questioned anything—they just followed orders and watched Dean. Everyone except Balthazar. With all of the angels scurrying around trying to find vessels before the seals shattered, sometimes he'd sit with his brother, Castiel, and muse about the humans.
"The Righteous man is doing well. He saved many children from a changeling mother." Castiel said in his gruff Enochian, looking quite pleased with himself. "It's almost sad that he is destined for damnation." Balthazar nodded at his brother, but waved him off. Castiel, Balthazar decided a long time ago, was always going to be a conformer and a good little soldier. All of the angels could look at Dean Winchester as much as they wanted; it didn't matter to Balthazar if no one else laid an eye on the beautiful woman that followed the Winchesters.
Bela Talbot is what she called herself, but he could tell that wasn't her real name. The angels called her something else when they thought that he wasn't listening, something that they whispered with upturned noses in holier-than-thou tones. It sounded dirtier, more shameful in Enochian, but in English it was simply the first seal. Balthazar couldn't stand to see her slandered in the way that the angels did, but he couldn't say anything. He wasn't supposed to be watching her, wishing he could touch her skin, kiss her neck, and run his fingers through her hair. He knew he'd need to wear an ape in order to do it, but that was something he was willing to do.
He'd been to Earth once before, a long time ago. He knew how to touch a woman, how to caress her body and where to put his hands to get her to squeal. He got reprimanded, but compared to the chaos that was going on with his brothers, he didn't get too severe of a punishment. He never before desired so much to go down to Earth and meet this woman who was able to get one up on the Righteous Man. Beautiful, cunning, and clever, he knew he had to get his hands on her.
"Balthazar?" Castiel called when he realized his brother was spacing out. "Were you even listening to me?" The other angel looked grumpy, but didn't comment on his brother's watching of the Talbot girl.
"What? Yeah, Cassy. I was listening. Ducklings, right?" Balthazar could see the look on Castiel's face, both when he called him Cassy, and when he got the subject of his chitchat wrong. Neither brother could fault the other, however, as they were the closest with each other than with any other angels in the garrison.
"Changelings, Brother. He saved them from changelings."
"Right. Isn't that what I said?" Castiel just glared at his brother and disappeared to the autistic man's Tuesday afternoon to think. Balthazar remained at the edge of the clouds to watch the woman he desired so much, ignoring the looks from his brothers and sisters. That was when he decided that he would gain a vessel and look after her before she went to Hell. He couldn't talk to her, but he would watch and make sure she was all right. To give her the best life before she had to die.
His vessel's name was Victor. He was an Englishman living in France after a nasty divorce. A devout man, even if he was somewhat of an alcoholic. Balthazar came down to Victor one day while the man was enjoying a large glass of wine and a movie in his mother's native tongue. "Victor…" Balthazar called in his natural voice, shattering the wine glass, windows, and cracking the LCD TV screen. Victor was alarmed, covering his ears and curling on the couch.
"Who are you?" He called in English, confused and convinced he had a bit too much to drink. "What's going on?"
"My name is Balthazar, and I am an angel. I need to come to Earth, but I need a vessel. You are my vessel… If you accept, of course." Victor leaned back on the couch, contemplating the angel's request. His wife left him for his best friend, his mother recently passed away, and some younger hotshot was quickly trying to take his place at work. There was nothing that he wanted anymore, nothing to live for.
"Yes. I say yes." Before Victor could back out, Balthazar's grace neared the man and enveloped him in a bright light. It took Balthazar a second to work out the controls, bend elbows, knees, turn head, bend over… But once he got the hang of working Victor's body, he ran his hands over everything and imagined touching Bela. The suede of the couch was her skin, soft and warm under his fingertips… The silk of the throw pillows dampened by the spilled wine the dampness on the fabric of her panties just from her grinding against him… He snapped himself out of his thought and shook his head. No… Not yet. Before he could think any more impure thoughts (not that he cared), he disappeared to Queens, New York.
Immediately, he was overwhelmed in the swarm of people, the hairless apes that walked about and didn't care about anyone else. He was in the middle of the street, and several men in cars beeped their car horns angrily at the angel, who scowled and flipped them off before walking down the street, hands in his pockets. He was looking down at the ground while walking, and accidentally bumped into someone. "Sorry." He mumbled, pausing when he felt the other person's hand in his jeans' pocket. He froze time, grabbed their hand, then unfroze it with a sly grin on his face. "Naughty, naughty—It's…" Balthazar dropped the woman's hand and took a step back.
"Let go of me. If I scream, who do you think they'll believe?" The woman snapped, narrowing her eyes. She then once-overed Balthazar and smiled. "Though, you look smart enough not to report me. Handsome too." It was her. Bela—his Bela. It took every ounce of self-control he possessed to not kiss her right there and then, as she was even more gorgeous in person.
"I'm sorry. What were we talking about?" He asked, playing dumb. "Because from what I understand, you just bumped into me." Balthazar flashed her a grin and took a step back with his hands up. She raised an eyebrow and smiled back, flipping her hair off of her shoulders.
"Another Brit? Cute. Well, I have somewhere to be… Nice running in to you." Bela explained before turning around and walking back towards her apartment, a few butterflies fluttering in her chest. But, she had to focus… Crowley still needed her to stay on task. The Colt was her goal, not handsome and charming men in the street.
Balthazar had a large grin on his face and he strode away down the streets of New York, hands in his pockets, trying to forget that this woman was going to die in six months' time. Riding on the high of meeting the object of his desire, so utterly human and selfish that he knew he should be disgusted with her, he disappeared at the end of the block, returning to Heaven with his new vessel in tow.
"Where have you been, Brother?" Castiel asked as Balthazar appeared at their usual spot around the clouds, wearing Victor. "Dean Winchester has stopped a town full of demons. We were all watching."
"Well, I wasn't. I found my vessel, as you can see." Showing off, Balthazar pointed to the hairless ape he was running around in, and sat down next to his glowing ball of Grace brother. "I found her, Castiel."
A few weeks prior…Balthazar was at the viewing area with the other angels, basking in the sun of Heaven and glancing down disinterestedly at the activities of the Righteous Man and his brother, the Abomination. Someone had robbed their father's vault, and even though neither of them gave much of a shit and a half about dear John, they went racing to see what had been taken. Balthazar found the whole situation idiotic, and went to leave when a woman left the diner that they were in, carrying their foot in her pocket.
"Who's she?" Balthazar asked Castiel, surprised at himself for the attention he was giving the ape who stole from the other apes. Castiel looked up at his brother from the portal, a confused expression on his face.
"That's Bela Talbot. She is the soul that the Righteous Man will break in Hell." Castiel explained, a little ticked that his brother hadn't been paying attention like their other siblings were. "She is destined for damnation, Balthazar. Why are you asking about her?" The way that Castiel said her title upset Balthazar, as after the stunt she pulled with the Winchesters, he thought she was interesting. More interesting than Dean, anyways.
"Bela… I like her. She's got spunk."
"She's evil. One of Lilith's." Castiel replied bluntly, not bothering to look up at his brother. "Don't let Uriel hear of your affection for the human, or there will be severe consequences that I don't want you to pay, Brother."
"Don't worry a hair on your pretty little head, Cassy. I don't have affection for the ape. I just believe her to be interesting, that's all." And it was true. He couldn't fall for a mud monkey who stole for a living. She just fascinated him. A human that danced with demons and knew how to play Dean and Sam Winchester, it was definitely something he didn't see every day.
"I'm sorry I doubted you, Balthazar." Castiel said before vanishing to talk to Rachel, leaving Balthazar alone on the cloud again.
Bela was with the Winchesters again a few weeks later, which allowed Balthazar to watch her without sneaking around Michael and Raphael and Uriel. They were in some town in Massachusetts working on a ghost case, though Balthazar could tell from a mile away that she had no intentions of stopping the killings. Most of the other angels were disgusted by her selfishness, but still, Balthazar was fascinated.
When he heard of their plans to go to a party, he took a quick look around at the other angels and descended to Earth, dressed up in a tuxedo and a pair of sunglasses. He wanted to watch her screw over the Winchesters, but he didn't want her to recognize him. He sat in the corner the whole night sipping champagne to watch her and help her out if she needed it. She was walking to the bar, right near him, and he was worried that his cover would be blown, but she didn't seem to notice him at all. The thief looked up at the bartended and sighed, looking a bit worried. "What happens when all the champagne's gone?" She asked, resting her chin on her fist, elbow leaning on the bar.
"What do you mean, Miss? When the champagne's gone, there isn't any more." The bartender replied, snapping at her. Bela rolled her eyes and grabbed her flute, toasting the rude man behind the counter, as well as the other people sitting on stools near her.
Soon, Bela disappeared off with Dean, and Balthazar felt his face grow hot with jealousy. He didn't like the feeling of the utterly human emotion, and slammed the bar counter angrily. "She just wanted to know what happens if you bloody idiots ran out of champagne!" He roared at the bartender, a few glasses cracking from a bit of his true voice slipping out. "It's not a difficult question, you insignificant little ape." Balthazar ran off and disappeared quickly to the heaven of some recently deceased Hollywood starlet. He was going to numb himself with booze and women and pretend he didn't see what he did.
The Righteous Man, he decided, was not very righteous at all.
The day that Bela was supposed to die, all of Heaven was crowded around the viewing area. Wings were fluttering so loudly that Balthazar could barely hear himself think, and the thoughts that were coming through were blurbs of worry. He shouldn't care that she was going to be damned, as she was just a source of entertainment and normal, healthy lust. The other angels were treating it like a game, but Balthazar couldn't help but to be bothered.
"I'm sorry, Brother." Balthazar heard from behind him. It was Castiel, trying to comfort him. "But this is for a greater cause." Balthazar nodded, but had an urge to fly away. He didn't want to see this—see her, but he felt like he had to. He couldn't look away.
"I'll be fine. She's just a meatpuppet anyways." Balthazar snapped, taking a seat next to Castiel to watch the show. The woman, who normally looked so put together and suave, had just gotten off of the phone with the Righteous Man, and went to the window. Balthazar swallowed, feeling a pit forming in his vessel's stomach, and was about to flutter away. Castiel saw the pallid look on his brother's face, and grabbed him by the wrist to keep him seated.
"Stay, brother." Castiel commanded, a flat expression on his face. So, Balthazar sat, and watched as Bela ran through the motel room and created a ring of salt around herself for protection. He knew it wouldn't do much good, but staying in there forever didn't seem to be one of Bela's plans.
Balthazar had to clamp down his jaw to keep him from making a noise of distress when she pulled a pistol out of her pocket and placed the cool metal against her forehead. That was her plan. Go out on her terms. In anticipation, Balthazar jumped up before she finally pulled the trigger, going to fly down to rescue her. However, Castiel and Rachel came up behind him to hold him back, while Uriel gave a condescending chuckle in the background. Balthazar didn't care what the other angels thought of him, not when he yelled out her name when she pulled the trigger. Many of the angels began rejoicing, but Balthazar broke free from his siblings' grasp and disappeared, reappearing next to the dying girl.
She was already gone by the time he had her in his arms, her soul was already in Crowley's hands, or sprawled on the rack like a piece of meat. "No… Bela…" He held her still warm, but limp body against his and smoothed down her curls that were now matted with her blood and brain tissue. He felt that she deserved a proper burial, so he disappeared to a nice, quiet field. His brothers were probably watching and judging him, but he didn't care.
With a flutter of wings, he laid her body down in a nice grave; a few roses placed on top of her, and dropped a loose feather down as well. It landed on her nose, and he couldn't help but smile a bit. But, Bela Talbot was gone—facing Hell, and he could have stopped it.
Balthazar didn't return to Heaven for a few days after her death. He couldn't. Not after what he did for Bela. Instead, he went to his vessel's house and crashed on the couch, popping a bottle of champagne. "Well, you did it, Michael. The Apocalypse will be upon us!" Balthazar exclaimed, words laced with sarcasm and venom for his older brother. He sipped some of the champagne, and even though he knew it wouldn't even take the edge off of his pain—at least not one bottle, he downed it.
Victor was never a happy child. His parents divorced when he was young, and he spent most of his time in England with his father, only spending summers with his beloved mother in France. Victor despised Thomas, who seemed very disinterested in Victor's life, but could do nothing about his situation. It was frustrating, but a fact of life.
When he grew up and went out on his own, he fell head-over-heels for a beautiful girl named Renee, and after only a few months of courting her, he proposed. They were married a year later and lived happily for many to come. They never had children—both were too busy for the commitment and neither enjoyed kids very much, but were more or less happy.
Twenty years of marriage went out the door when Victor came home to find Renee shagging his best friend, John, on their bed. Embarrassed, played, and heartbroken, Victor left the house and bought a flat in Paris to be closer to his sickly mother. The divorce was long and ugly, and dragged on for months. Victor took up drinking, and didn't even go to see his mother when she died.
Choosing Angelic possession was the only choice in his book, save for suicide. He was done. Victor's soul moved on, leaving his body empty for Balthazar to squeeze in to. Balthazar's grace liked the way that Victor's body felt covering it—like it was supposed to be that way. So, while Victor was in Heaven, Balthazar was on Earth. He hadn't left Heaven permanently, per say… He always managed to return every few days to see Castiel, but he spent a lot more time amongst the mud monkeys, charming women in bars and taking them back to a mansion he purchased with money conned straight from one of Bill Gates' Swiss bank accounts. He couldn't bring himself to do anything else.
"Balthazar…" A voice called one morning when he was passed out in his bed with a Victoria's Secret model and a couple bottles of Jack. "Balthazar, we need you…" It took him a few minutes to figure out that it was Castiel that was calling, but once he did, he appeared in Cas' favorite heaven.
"Brother? You called?" Balthazar asked with a confused expression. Castiel had gotten himself a vessel, a handsome man in a tan trench coat, and was standing, back to Balthazar. When he heard his brother, he turned around and smiled.
"Balthazar. You came. I have been entrusted to retrieve the Righteous Man from Hell." Castiel explained, a proud expression on his face. He took a few steps towards Balthazar, and pat his brother on the shoulder. "I requested that you come with me."
"One problem, Cassy. I don't give a damn about the 'Righteous Man'." Balthazar spat back, turning to disappear. However, Castiel caught his arm and pulled him back.
"You are not going to get Dean, Balthazar. You are going to go down there to get the first seal. It has been broken." Castiel put his hands on his brother's shoulders and smiled. "You can get her."
"I don't want her, Castiel." Time in the man's Heaven froze around them, Balthazar's doing, as he stomped away from his brother. "She's just entertainment. I told you that. I'm an angel, she's a human. It wouldn't work."
"You do not know that for certain, Balthazar. Try. Now, are you coming with me or not?"
Castiel barely had time to blink before Balthazar grabbed his arm, ready to follow his brother into the pits of Hell.
"This isn't for her, you know." Balthazar explained to Cas before they disappeared. "It's for you. Because I don't want you to go down there alone." Castiel, even though he knew his brother was lying through his teeth, accepted his explanation and they both disappeared. Plunging deeper and deeper down, Balthazar could feel the heat on his face before they even landed in Hell—much less circles six and eight. His feathers were starting to singe and ache when they hit the first circle, even though the heat wasn't as great as those below. He touched his wings, normally white, and cringed when his hand pulled back covered in soot. They were in demon territory, and they had to be careful.
Balthazar told himself that he was only going to watch Castiel's back as he got the righteous man from his rack—that he wasn't going to go after Bela. She's not worth it, Bal. He thought. Humans are trouble. Especially this one. But now, standing in circle six with Castiel's hands on Dean's shoulders, he wasn't so sure. "Anyone coming from behind?" Cas yelled, but there was no response. His brother had dove down two more levels to find Bela.
"Do you ever think that we will get to talk to the humans, Balthazar?" Castiel asked his brother. These were the days after the creation of Adam and Eve, when Lucifer had not yet rebelled, and the apocalypse wasn't even thought of. Castiel was still small, and enjoyed watching the humans on Earth, a hobby that he shared with Anael. She was sandwiched between her two brothers, leaning down to see the people working.
"No, Castiel. I don't think we ever will. Their activities don't concern us." Balthazar said bitterly, a flat expression on his face. Anael rolled her eyes at him and fluttered over to the other side of him, putting him in the middle of the sandwich.
"Don't be so grumpy, Bal."
"I'm not being grumpy, Anna. I'm being realistic." Balthazar said with a huff, looking over at the younger angel pressed next to him. His brother. "Don't get your hopes up, Cassy."
"Father was talking about love before with Lucifer. I heard him. He said he loved the humans." Anna said while staring longingly out into the distance. The word was foreign on her tongue, and she had to slow down to pronounce it in her sing-songy Enochian, but Love, Balthazar decided, was a pretty word. "Do you think you'll ever love a human, Balthazar?"
"No." He said coldly, zapping a few feet away from Anael and Castiel. "I don't think I will."
By the time that Castiel had gripped Dean by the shoulders, Balthazar was only halfway up with Bela's soul, hands gripping her waist like they were to dance. Castiel looked around for his brother, frightened by the very possible prospect of Balthazar being dead, and then took off, slamming Dean's soul back into his now healed body. He was going to try to go back down to look for Balthazar, but his wings were singed, he was hurt, and Uriel was ordering him back to Heaven. Without a moment to mourn, Castiel disappeared, returning to Heaven again.
Balthazar appeared in the middle of what used to be a meadow in a clearing in the woods, out of breath, and still sizzling. It looked like a bomb had gone off, as everything had been totaled. Soul energy, Balthazar figured, was the most likely cause. The angel paced around the site, waiting for something to happen. He was sure he grabbed her tight enough… but he couldn't find her.
Then, there was a rustling from under some leaves, and some muffled screams before a hand shot out from the ground. Balthazar ran over and grabbed the hand, pulling the girl in rags to her feet. Bela pulled the feather off of her face and shuddered, looking around. She was confused, and the sunlight was hurting her eyes and skin. Everything was new, and everything was too bright. Her throat burned, and she coughed a few times before giving Balthazar a frightened look.
Bela turned to run away from Balthazar in fright, but he appeared in front of her, hands crossed over his chest. "After all the work I put in to get you out of Hell… You're going to run away? Come here, Bela. I'll keep you safe." Balthazar said with a smug grin. She was different than the last time they had spoken, down in Queens. She looked scared and vulnerable, not fierce and ready for anything. He was waiting for her to spit back some response with her sharp wit, but instead got a blank, frightened stare. "I'm not a demon, if that's what you're wondering, sweetheart."
She was hesitant at first, then stepped forward. "If you're not a demon…" Bela mumbled, grabbing her savior's hand. Even though it was dirty, he leaned down to kiss it, gaining an eye roll from Bela, and disappeared to his house.
When they landed, she stumbled but quickly regained her footing. "Bathroom's down the hall… Bedroom's upstairs… Library is two flights, nowhere's off limits, but please, darling, don't steal from me. Because I will know." He shrugged, wanting so desperately to put a gentle arm around her to comfort her, but she barely knew him.
"So, if you're not a demon," Bela asked again, turning to face him, "Then what are you? You're not human…"
"Try… Angel." Balthazar said with a grin. If his wings weren't in so much pain, he'd reveal them to her, as he didn't think that she would try to hurt him. Bela's eyes went wide, and she backed up against the wall again. He took a step forward, extending a hand to help her, but she bolted down the hall, up the stairs, and into the master bedroom, locking the door behind her.
Bela backed up after she locked the door, taking deep breaths to try to calm herself. She was sure that it was one of Alastair's tricks, or that the man was a demon who was lying… or maybe she did come back, and he was some psycho in the woods. But, he had known about Hell—He said he raised her. She felt a searing pain on her hips that had just developed, possibly from what was left of her clothes rubbing against them while running. Stripping down quickly, Bela stood in front of the mirror and gasped.
Two searing handprints were on her hips, looking as if someone had held her in a dance. The blinding light… What is going on? Bela tried not to think about it, instead hopping into the shower to wash the dirt off of her skin and hair. Even with the water turned up to full blast, it seemed too cold—everything was too cold. She didn't stay in long, only for enough time to get her hair washed and skin scrubbed clean. Every droplet of water stung her scars, still too fresh to be handled, and Bela had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from screaming.
After towel-drying her hair, Bela didn't even bother to get dressed before climbing into the unfamiliar bed, fitted with silk sheets in several different purple hues, and a fluffy, luscious comforter. She crawled under all of the layers and curled up, but still felt the chill of being out of Hell. She was glad that she was gone, but at the same time she was now dependent on a man—angel that she had never met before. Bela felt like she was fourteen all over again, like Abby waiting for Crowley to pick her up after the death of her parents.
She closed her eyes, but couldn't fall asleep. There was no sign of the angel who hadn't even bothered to introduce himself, but every time she shut her lids, she was greeted to images of Hell. She didn't realize that she was audibly crying out for help until much later, after the angel reappeared.
When Bela ran upstairs, Balthazar wanted to chase after her. It frustrated him that he couldn't help her, as she didn't want his help. She was afraid of him, afraid of Hell, and afraid of the world.
But she was mostly afraid of him.
He paced around his study, trying to figure out his next move, when he heard her crying out for help. It was painful for Balthazar to sit there and listen to her cries, but he couldn't move. She didn't want him—she didn't care about him. She was broken and delicate and not who he took interest in. Yet, he still had feelings for her. Sitting back in his chair, a glass of red wine in hand, he let himself get lost in thought.
It was a bright day in Anna's favorite section of Heaven, a baker's slice of the pearly gates. It was always filled with sweets like chocolate cake, which Anna adored the idea of, even if they weren't real enough to taste. Balthazar met her on the grass in front of the shop, a serene expression on Anna's face that so contrasted with Balthazar's serious glare. "Balthazar, I have decided to fall. I'll become a human. I'll be one of them."
Balthazar looked hurt by his sister's words, and some part of him hoped that she was playing some joke on him. But, he knew just by looking in Anna's eyes that it was no joke. She was serious. "But… Anael. You realize that the humans are savage? Look at them, they're animals!"
"But they have good in them, Balthazar. I want to be one of them, and I'm so sick of being daddy's little soldier. Where even is dad, hm?" When Anna realized that she had raised her voice, she looked solemnly at the ground, and put a hand on her brother's shoulder. "Don't worry, Balthazar. You know that for as long as I live, human or not, remembering you or not… I'll always love you and Cas."
"Speaking of Cassy… Did you tell him?" Balthazar spat, trying not to seem upset at his beloved sister's decision. Anna got quiet and turned away, unable to face her brother.
"No. Castiel doesn't know. And I don't want you to tell him. As much as I love Cas, he'd try to stop me. At least you know the finer pleasures of Earth… like…"
"Chocolate cake and sex? That's what this is about?" Balthazar asked with a look of disbelief. He scoffed and her and turned to leave, but was unable to. "You've never had chocolate cake or sex."
"Fine. Neither of us have had chocolate cake, but you've had sex." Anna said with a smirk, walking over to her brother. Tears were forming in her eyes when she stopped in front of him, and she pressed two fingers to his lips. "Don't ever forget me, my brother." She said while pulsing a stream of her Grace through him.
"I could never, Anna." When she pulled her fingers away, Balthazar stepped back, expecting her to go. When she pulled out her blade and closed her eyes right in front of him, his feet cemented themselves to the ground, and his wings could not move. Then, there was a flash of a blinding white light, and Anna was gone.
Balthazar always regretted not stopping her.
Balthazar couldn't take hearing the desperate cries of his beloved. Even if she didn't want to see him, he was forcing himself in to try to calm her. The angel hoped that she was asleep when he appeared in her room, ready to calm her with a touch to the forehead, but found her sitting up and huddled with all of the sheets around her. A look of panic was in her eyes when he appeared, and she grabbed the clock off of the nightstand as a makeshift weapon. "Don't touch me." Bela growled, inching closer towards the wall.
"I just wanted to help, Bela. You ran off before I could finish."
"Leave me alone. You raised me from Hell, and now you're keeping me prisoner? I don't work for demons anymore, no matter how many times you try to convince me that you're not one." She yelled, her arms crossed over her chest. "Let me go free." Finally, Balthazar was left with no choice. He closed his eyes through the pain and spread his injured wings for her. She gasped in horror, unsure what to make of the situation. Her first instinct was to panic, as she had insulted and screamed at one of God's soldiers. It was only her second or third to be worried because his wings were so badly burned.
"You're hurt…" Bela commented, swinging her legs off of the side of the bed. The pads of her feet hit the cold floor, blankets still wrapped around her naked body, and took a step towards him. She placed a light hand on his singed wing, and looked up into his eyes. "You got hurt… For me? Why?"
"Because you're worth it, Bela Talbot. Now, why don't we get you some clothes?" Bela nodded, still a bit wary of the angel, and walked to the dresser. She grabbed a gray V-neck and a pair of his boxers, as there wasn't much else in the drawers, and changed under the blankets. "We can go shopping for you tomorrow, if you'd like." He said, putting his wings away with a wince. Again, she nodded and wrapped the blankets around her again. She was still shivering, and Balthazar thought to warm her with his Grace. However, he did not know if she would let him.
"My name's Balthazar." He took a small step towards her, extending an arm to gesture her over to him, and gave a small smile. Bela shrunk back at first, but after a few seconds, she stepped forward and allowed him to hold her in his arms, sending light pulses of Grace through her body. One hand rested on her lower back, the other was behind her head, pressing it closer to his chest, the covers she had wrapped around her separating them. It was then that Balthazar heard something quite like a whisper, but more soft and sincere. A thought. Thank you… Thank you so much. Balthazar.
Balthazar smiled softly to himself, but swallowed nervously. He shouldn't be able to read her mind… Not unless she had been bonded to him. He felt that he should ask Castiel if it was normal for a soul and an angel's Grace to bond while raising them from Hell, but then he remembered that he was supposed to be dead. Castiel couldn't know. "You're welcome, Sweetheart. Now, you should get some rest." Bela muttered a quick "Yes" under her breath, and waddled over to the bed, fixing the covers around her to wrap her like a burrito.
"I assume you don't sleep." She said, looking over to the angel. "But I'll wish you a good night anyways." Balthazar nodded, leaning against the wall. He snapped his fingers and the lights went out, letting the room go dark.
"Good night, Bela." He said before disappearing.
A few weeks passed, and still they made very little progress. Sometimes, the one would get snippets of the other's thoughts, but normally they just kept to light, awkward conversation. "Please pass the scones." Or "Do you need anything washed?" were some of the highlights, as Bela didn't fully trust Balthazar, and it killed him inside. He had spent months making sure she was okay, and now she wouldn't even look at him.
Balthazar was sitting in the living room one day, reading the paper, when he heard the tinkling of a piano coming from the music room. He stood up and disappeared into the room as silently as possible, so as to see Bela playing. She was playing Moonlight Sonata, putting her entire body into playing. He was amazed at the sight of her, but didn't notice when she stopped playing.
"It's nice of you to join me, Balthazar." Bela said, resuming her playing as if she never stopped. She hadn't turned around, and he was completely silent. She shouldn't have known that he was even there. "Are you a fan of Beethoven as well?" Her voice was calm, not tense and awkward like it had been since he raised her. She was starting to revert to her old self, confident and strong.
"I suppose you could say that." Balthazar said, coming around behind her. His hand rested on her shoulder, but soon trailed down, tracing the line of her back, and over the swell of her hips before resting right over where the raised handprint scar he left would be under her dress. Bela didn't flinch; instead she kept playing while leaning into his touch. Only when his hand stopped on her scar was her playing interrupted—as a spark of energy arced between them, shooting from the scar, up her spine, and back, did her playing skew. Her hands slammed down on the keys, making a horrible mish-mash of several different notes, and her stomach dropped.
"What… Just happened?" Bela asked, backing away slightly. Balthazar had already jerked his hand away, rubbing the still-tingling skin with his other hand.
"I don't know, sweetheart. I don't know. Possibly something with our bond… But I can't be sure." Balthazar explained with a furrowed brow before sitting down beside her. She was wary at first, but rested her head on his shoulder as if she trusted him.
"We have a bond? That's… Interesting I suppose. Unless it's like… Crowley's bonds. I like being in possession of my own soul, thank you." She gave Balthazar a small smile, then stood up and stepped away from the piano. "I'm going to go make some tea before it gets dark." Balthazar nodded at Bela, and watched her walk off. When she was gone, he took his own crack at the keys, singing softly in melodic Enochian.
It was a song that he hadn't sung in years, but he still knew every word. The last time he heard it, he was with Castiel and Anna, way back when they were still children. Michael had just locked Lucifer away, and Gabriel disappeared. Heaven was in discord, all up in arms about their fallen brother. Several had similar feelings about humans, but just closed their mouths and acted like they were the perfect beings, even if they didn't believe it. No one wanted to join Lucifer in his cage. Anna, Balthazar, and Castiel were still very young, so they weren't as sure about what was going on, but followed their elders. Heads down, they played in the Garden, and around the viewing area, singing as they flew around.
Anna was the one that came up with the melody of the song, which she said sounded like birds singing, and Balthazar chimed in with the words. Castiel, less musically talented than the other two, just sat and hummed along. The sun shined over them, warming their wings and giving the halos around their head a healthy glow. Every time they hit the chorus of the song, everything seemed to get brighter. Even when all of the other angels were worrying about Lucifer, there was a way to find happiness in all of the dark.
Balthazar didn't realize how deeply he was reminiscing the days when Lucifer was locked away—not until he saw Bela stepping out onto the porch from the corner of his eye. She had a blanket draped around her shoulders and was carrying a cup of tea, most likely going to stargaze. He wanted to join her, but he decided to finish his song first. He played the last few notes, and left the G sharp ringing as he reappeared next to Bela, out on the deck.
"They're beautiful, aren't they?" Bela asked, looking up at the sky. "You can't see the stars in Hell. But… They're so easy to see here. There's Orion…" she pointed out, even though she supposed that Balthazar already knew his constellations. "Venus was always my favorite to look at… Even if it's not a star…" Bela trailed off and put her teacup down before turning to Balthazar, eyes tired and sad.
"You can see the stars from Heaven. They're every bit as beautiful up there as here… Maybe even more so…" Balthazar slipped a hand under her chin and tilted it up gently. She closed her eyes, letting a tear roll down her face, and closed the gap between them. Over the past few weeks, she had grown to enjoy having Balthazar around. She trusted him… Maybe even had feelings for him.
Bela opened her mouth to say something to Balthazar, but closed it almost immediately, as Balthazar was so close to her. One hand around her waist, the other cupping her cheek, the two leaned in and kissed. It was soft and gentle, a long kiss under the stars. When they finally broke apart, Balthazar stepped away from her and turned. "I'm sorry, Bela. That was uncalled for."
"Don't be sorry." Bela replied, sucking on her bottom lip. "And I wouldn't want you to be sorry if you did it again." Balthazar looked confused, but Bela turned him around and kissed him again. His hands migrated around her waist, sending arcs of electricity from her scars to his fingers, causing Bela to shudder. One hand was on his shoulder, the other on the back of his neck, pulling him closer to her. She wanted him to touch her—needed it. The kiss seemed to last forever until Balthazar broke away again and looked down at the ground.
"Go inside, Bela." He growled. It wasn't a suggestion, but an order. She was shocked, so she just stood there.
"But… Baltha—"
"Go inside!" He shouted, nearly scaring her out of her wits. She nodded and hurried inside, leaving the angel alone on the porch. Once in the house, she ran up all of the stairs to the Library and shut the door behind her. She found the armchair in the back corner and sat down in it, drawing her knees up to her chest with the blanket wrapped snugly around her. She didn't know what she did wrong, but she didn't want to go back downstairs. Instead, she nodded off on the chair by the window, huddled under her blanket to protect herself from the cold radiating from the glass.
Balthazar stayed outside, even when the nighttime air got nippy and hurt his wings. He needed to think—to clear his head. He was fascinated with Bela, he kissed Bela. He kissed Bela and she kissed him back. But, that was what made the whole situation so confusing. He shouldn't have feelings for a charge. She expected him to protect her, and he was too busy lusting after her to do that simple, simple job. After it got too cold for him to stay outside, he popped into the library, a glass of Port in hand.
He only intended to go in there to skim one of his favorite books, but when he got in, he found Bela asleep on the chair. She was shivering, as she only had the blanket to warm her, and she looked so small and vulnerable. That was one thing Balthazar liked about humans. They always looked so pretty and peaceful when they slept. He sat down on the edge of the armchair and took a sip from his glass, trying not to watch her too closely. He was blurring the lines between normal admiration and stalking, which he did not want.
When he finished the alcohol in his glass, he zapped it away and pet Bela's hair lovingly before scooping her up in his arms to take her to bed. Even if she was his charge, he could still make she slept in a proper bed, with proper pillows and proper blankets. She stayed asleep as he zapped into her room and laid her into her bed. He carefully covered her with layers of silk sheets, and only when he pulled her comforter over her did her eyes flutter open.
"Mmm… Balthazar? That you?" Bela asked sleepily. She tried to pull herself up to sit, but he gently nudged her back down.
"Yes, sweetheart. It's me. Now go back to sleep." Balthazar cooed, brushing a lock of hair out of her face. Bela nodded and rolled over onto her side so that she could get back to sleeping. When she woke up, she'd probably think the whole thing to be a dream, something that she wished had happened, but didn't.
"Can you stay here?" She asked, taking Balthazar by surprise. He was sure it was just because she was tired and felt the need to be polite and ask him to stay, but he nodded anyways.
"Of course, Bela." He replied, turning to go sit in the armchair before she stopped him.
"No. Here." She corrected, furrowing her brow, eyes half closed with sleep. Balthazar hesitated and cocked his head to the side, then nodded. He didn't say anything as he crawled under the sheets with her, and had to keep himself from wrapping an arm around her or kissing her.
"Is there anything in particular that brought this on, Bela?" Balthazar asked, still wary as to her intentions. He didn't want her to feel like she was trapped in the house, or to feel Stockholm syndromed into loving him, but all of her thoughts and intentions seemed pure.
"I don't know… It… It just feels right." Bela explained, curling up to her guardian angel for extra warmth. "But then again, what do I know?"
"You know quite a bit for someone who's never been loved, Bela Talbot. Get some rest… We'll go out somewhere tomorrow." Balthazar then kissed the top of her head and watched as she closed her eyes, drifting back off to sleep.
Balthazar always thought that sleep was a weak thing that humans did, even if they looked so peaceful doing it. Sleep was something for mortals, which he was above. But, lying next to Bela, he couldn't help but begin to doze off a bit, curled up next to his beloved thief. "I love you, Bela." He whispered before falling asleep himself.
Castiel was always a lot more like the humans that Balthazar hoped. He'd always hang around the viewing area and watched the people wage wars, build monuments, and pray to heathen gods that couldn't compare to their father's greatness. Soon, he'd start to emulate them—try to say their words or do things as they did. Castiel was infatuated with humanity, even if he didn't quite understand it, and it worried Balthazar. Between Cas and Anna, he felt that he was the only one to know that the humans were dangerous.
When he caught Castiel and Anna napping in a meadow in the Garden, Balthazar was sure that he was going to lose it. His siblings were so infatuated with humanity that he wasn't even sure that he knew them anymore. Sleeping? It was mortal. They were above that. He didn't hesitate in telling them that, causing the pair to keep to themselves for a few days afterwards.
But now, here he was, lying down next to a human—a human that he loved, and was sleeping. Full, eyes closed, thoughts left to the subconscious slumber. He was sleeping, and he didn't think twice about it.
Balthazar woke up first, but Bela was so tangled around him that even if he froze time and disappeared out of bed, it would wake her. At first, he wasn't sure what had happened, but he put two and two together rather quickly. He had been asleep.
Bela rose when the sun began to crack through the skylight and sting her eyelids. She flinched as the first rays hit her, but soon her eyes fluttered open. When she saw Balthazar still sleeping next to her, she gave him a small, half-awake smile and propped herself up onto her elbow. "I'm guessing that wasn't a dream?"
"No, Bels. You fell asleep in the library, and I brought you here. You asked me to be here." Balthazar explained, closing his eyes to brace himself for being shouted at. Instead, she sat up and ran a hand through her bed-messy hair while blinking to wake herself up. She yawned, and for the first time Balthazar noticed now strangely she yawned. Her underbite became more exposed, but somehow he thought it was beautiful. Just like the rest of her.
"Thank you." Bela said while pulling her covers closer around her. Balthazar nodded in return, then zapped himself to the other side of the room. He began digging through her drawers until he found a black cocktail dress and a pair of stockings with seams up the backs. He handed them to her, then instructed her to turn around. She was a bit hesitant, but complied.
Balthazar tapped her breastbone with his finger and trailed it up and around her neck. Bela was confused by the action at first, but when a necklace appeared, she understood. She clutched the pendant in her hand and began running her fingers over it nervously. When he was closed enough to her, she pecked him on the cheek and smiled. "It's beautiful."
"Just like you, darling." Bela blushed and nodded, grabbing the clothes that he picked out for her before pushing herself off of the bed. "I could leave if you'd like, while you got ready." Balthazar said, backing towards the door. She shook her head and walked over to a mirror, giving Balthazar a small, catlike smile before slipping her pajamas off and onto the floor.
Something about Bela changed when she was around Balthazar. After all the years of her parents' abuse as a child, she developed an overbearing and abrasive personality to protect herself. She screwed whoever would drop their pants for her in an attempt to dissociate sex from her father, and didn't care who got hurt. She was cold and distant… But when she was with her angel, she was open and free and didn't mind his eyes on her while she got dressed in the outfit that he picked for her. It was a bit fancier than she would have picked for day-to-day wear, so she assumed that they were going somewhere that would require it.
When she was dressed, she turned to Balthazar and slipped on a pair of simple black pumps. "Well… Where are we going?" she asked, tapping her foot impatiently on the ground. Balthazar smiled and grabbed her around the waist, leaning close to her neck. She could feel his breath, hot and soft on her skin, which made her smile.
"You'll find out soon, Love." Balthazar whispered before disappearing with her in tow. They rematerialized in a museum or gallery of sorts, full of people sipping champagne and schmoozing. Bela ran a hand through her hair to try to fix it, as it got a bit mussed from being pressed against Balthazar during their flight, but she figured it was fine enough to not stand out too much.
"Are we here to steal something?" Bela asked in a hushed whisper, her arm wrapped around his. He kissed the top of her head and grinned like he had a secret, but did not say anything back to her. They walked through the reception and stopped once they hit the back where several crystals were sitting in a glass case. Balthazar stopped in front of it, pointed and nodded.
She raised an eyebrow, accepting the challenge, and observed the case. It looked like there were some heat sensors, but other than that, the case was locked with a key and slid open. As long as whatever she used to grab them didn't have a different temperature, she could snatch them. Bela looked over to Balthazar, who was waiting patiently to see her grab something from the case, and looked up. "Disable that camera for me, will you?" she said nonchalantly, pulling a bobby pin from her hair.
The angel did as she said, even if he wanted her to do it herself, and placed a careful hand on her hip. With a flick of Bela's wrist, she got the case open and smirked. "Piece of cake." She stated, eyeing the crystals. She only had to find something to grab them with, but it didn't take long. Bela stole a coat hanger from the check area and nabbed the four crystals from the case, sealed it up, and presented her loot to Balthazar.
"Five minutes. That's all it took." Balthazar said, impressed with her fine work. He placed the crystals into his pocket, then zapped away with her back to the dining room of his house, lights low and candles on. Bela was still a bit confused at the whole affair, as it was unusual, but it seemed to her to be a plot to get her out of the house so he could set up for this.
The angel led her to the table and pulled a chair out for her before sitting down across from her. He popped the cork out of a bottle of wine that appeared in his hands while watching Bela's face examining everything going on around them. Candles, music, wine, dinner… No one ever treated her like one of the things that she stole. For once, she felt like the precious item that was worth millions of pounds. She accepted the glass from Balthazar with a smile, peering up to him while trying to overcome the intense happiness in her heart that could lead to tears. She stayed very quiet, which concerned Balthazar. "Darling, are you all right?"
"Yes." Bela responded, placing her glass lightly down on the table. "I'm fantastic." Her response was quick, but truthful. Again, she fell silent to keep herself from spilling emotion all over the place, and Balthazar raised an eyebrow in worry. He came over to her and motioned for her to stand up. She did and met his eyes, quickly glassing over with happy tears.
"Don't cry, my Bela." He cooed, running his thumb over her cheek before kissing her deeply. Their lips were crushed together, her underbite scraping his tongue. She wrapped her arms around his neck and began backing up towards the wall until her shoulders hit the bricks covering the dining room walls. The angel hitched her legs up around his waist and slid one of his hands to cup her ass, and the other to palm and tease her breasts. Bela gasped and bucked her hips into him, feeling his arousal through the material of his jeans, dinner long forgotten. Balthazar broke the kiss and began trailing his lips down her neck, which she extended to allow him to reach it better.
"Balthazar…" Bela gasped as he bucked back, causing a delicious friction between her legs. He had already slipped down part of her dress and was kissing her breasts, suckling a perky nipple into his mouth to drive her absolutely wild. Normally, she would have already let her heels hit the floor and have him pinned against the wall, had this been any of her normal fucks. Of course it wasn't, and she just let him continue on, until his hand reached under her skirt to tug down her black, silky panties.
"Fuck… Bel…." Balthazar growled into her ear, but she grabbed his hand and shook her head.
"No… Not yet. Not now." She whispered, wanting to prove to herself that Balthazar was different to her. That he wasn't just another fuck 'em and leave 'em like she normally let herself have. The angel removed his hand almost immediately and lowered her back down to the ground with a quick adjustment to her dress.
"You're right. It's too soon." Balthazar nodded in agreement. He'd be lying if he said that he wasn't disappointed, but he knew deep down that it was moving too quickly for both of them. Neither had ever been the monogamous type, and rushing into something that could end with them going their separate ways wasn't the way he wanted to remember making love to Bela. "You should get to bed. I'll be in the library if you need me." The thief nodded and brushed a lock of hair out of her face before turning to walk up to her room.
"Good night, Balthazar." She said with a small smile, then left for bed. Balthazar watched her go and popped into the library with a copy of For Whom the Bell Tolls, ready for a long night of reading.
After six months of Bela living with him, the two were nearly inseparable, bringing out something in the other that no one else could ever see. In Bela, it was trust and happiness. In Balthazar, it was kindness towards a human. Sometimes he'd get angry and slip and make some sort of racist comment against the humans, but Bela never argued it back. Growing up with the scum of the Earth and a pair of demons… She knew what humanity could be like.
One night, lying stark naked on the silk sheets of their bed while Balthazar massaged her skin, Bela looked up at him and gave him a small smile. Balthazar stopped kneading the kinks out of her feet to once-over her and marvel again at how she was all his, then looked her dead in the eye. "What's on your mind, darling?" He asked her while putting her foot down on the bed. He kissed up her arm and across her clavicle, then up her neck and jaw… all with tantalizingly slow movements.
"I just… wanted to say that I love you." Balthazar stopped his kisses and moved so that he was on his hands and knees above her, a hand lightly brushing her hair off of her neck. The angel was taken aback, as he didn't expect for Bela to ever reciprocate his feelings.
"I love you too, Bela Talbot. I have for a long time." He leaned down to kiss her forehead, but she caught his mouth instead in a hungry kiss, her teeth lightly clinking against his. Their tongues fought for dominance, but Balthazar won out, making her drunk with the dizzy feeling of being in love.
"Balthazar," Bela breathed after breaking the kiss, "Balthazar, I want this. Us." The angel nodded, pressing his lips to hers again before pulling the sheets over them. He wanted it too, probably more than anything before.
It had been years since Balthazar saw his brother, but the angel had never quite forgotten Castiel. Balthazar had been under the impression that Cas had died during their trip to Hell, was lost in the crossfire of raising the Righteous Man and never made it out. Then again, if Castiel had made it… he probably thought the same about Balthazar. The two brothers were at a stalemate, but there wasn't a day that went by where Balthazar didn't miss Cas, or vice versa.
Bela often saw it in him… but never asked him why he moped about or who he missed. Most of the time he was glad she didn't, but sometimes he wished that she had been loved before he got to her and knew what it was like to miss someone so terribly that it hurt. A brother. A companion.
And then there were the days when he remembered that Anna was dead. She had reclaimed her Grace and lost it quickly to death by Michael, the prodigal son. Daddy's boy. Resentment for his family had grown so high as Balthazar and Bela prepared for the apocalypse that he considered ripping out his own Grace just to shut himself off from the constantly buzzing angel radio. It took a lot out of her as well. Every mission they went on, every city they visited, he seemed distant and worried that maybe, just maybe, the stupid Winchesters would accept his brothers.
Bela knew what was going on, she had sensed the apocalypse coming for a long time, and she had been there when the first seal broke. She remembered the blinding light and some part of her just knew. It was like it was programmed into her and she couldn't make it stop. The end of days was coming, and it was coming quickly.
Sunlight poured from the skylight in their room, dancing on Bela's exposed skin as she slept, her chest going up and down with her breathing. There were little flecks of rainbows peeking through as well, landing on her hair, on her nose, scraping past her eyes until they finally flickered open and she rolled over to snuggle into Balthazar, her bare chest lightly grazing his. "Morning, sweetheart." He said, smiling at the dots of color still brushing on her cheeks. Early morning rainbows… they used to have big ones up in Heaven, probably less so now that Armageddon was nearly upon them.
"Just out of curiosity…" Bela asked while drawing circles on his arm with the tip of her finger. "What made you choose me? Why me?"
"Because you were strong." Balthazar responded, sitting up slightly so that she could lean against his chest. "You didn't let anyone get to you. You lived with demons and beat the Winchesters and you didn't let anyone get in your way." He slid his hand around her waist and rested it on top of the scars, their flesh prickling from the sensation. The angel pulled her flush to him and kissed the top of her head. "You reminded me of someone I knew." Bela nodded at his words, accepting them with embarrassed cheeks. No one had ever told her that she was strong, but it made her feel good.
Really good.
The world didn't end, but Michael, Lucifer, Sam Winchester, and Adam Milligan were locked in the cage while Dean Winchester walked free. Balthazar found out that Castiel was alive… Lucifer had killed him, but someone, maybe God, brought him back. That was at least, what Balthazar had picked up on while sitting on his porch in the summer sun. The world was reverting back to normal very quickly, but he was worried. There was a storm coming in Heaven, now that Michael was gone. Raphael was most likely running the show and making all of the other angels live in fear for their lives. It was a war zone, and Balthazar knew just how to cash in.
"Bela, what do you know about Heaven's weapons?" He asked her one night while she was eating dinner, a glass of red wine in her hand. She put down the glass and folded her hands in her lap, trying to contain her excitement. The weapons of Heaven were a personal interest of hers. They had fascinated her and sent her on several wild goose chases, but she had never found them. However, now she had an in. She could get her hands on them and study them as much as she wanted. While she was a great thief first, her secondary passion had always been the study and history of the artifacts that she acquired.
"A little. Why?" She responded, giving the angel a small smile. He grinned and ran a hand through his hair, her thoughts zooming through his head at a mile a minute.
"Because I need you to help me get them."
Castiel had spent years thinking his brother dead. He grieved his death, he felt an ache in his chest every day because the person he was the closest too was gone. He didn't even have Anna anymore after her brief revival, and that hurt him deep down. There was no one left, so he pushed forward as a soldier, because that was what he had to do. He stood in the autistic man's Tuesday for quite some time, but fluttered off when he was done pondering. There was something that he needed to do.
Running. That was all Bela could remember doing. She had a curse box under her arm and she was bolting down the street while things blew up only inches behind her. She was certain that her eardrums had ruptured and her knees were scraped up from a nasty trip that had almost cost her life when the lamppost behind her blew into smithereens, but she kept pushing. She had to bring the box back to Balthazar, even if he hadn't shown up yet. Part of her wondered if something was wrong, because he wouldn't leave her hanging like that. She didn't feel it when an angel came up behind her, stabbing his sword up through her back. The world started to play in slow motion, though, as she fell.
That's when the pain started, burning through her like fire. Prickles of ice ticked her skin, chilling her to the bone while it still felt so hot. Her head hit the pavement like a rock, slapping so hard that she just wanted to close her eyes and give up. However, she had to fight. She blinked a few times and tried to breathe deeply, even as her blood pooled on the pavement and bystanders rushed towards her. Balthazar was nowhere to be found, and sleeping seemed so nice.
He appeared soon after he sealed the warehouse with the weapons in it, the only thing missing being the Horn of Truth that Bela had. He looked around for her, but his vessel's heart nearly stopped when he saw the crowd of people around someone on the pavement. Balthazar ran, feeling utterly human and useless, and scooped her up in his arms while snapping at people to go away, not realizing he was using a sharp Enochian. The angel cradled his dying love in his arms and cried over her, trying his hardest to heal her. However, her wounds wouldn't close, but her eyes were.
"Balthazar…" She said, a faint smile on her lips, even as she coughed up blood. Balthazar let a tear fall on her forehead, but she wasn't crying. She seemed almost at peace, even dying in his arms. There wasn't much time left, and he couldn't believe it. "I love… you. Even as… your Annabel Lee." With another cough, she started to slip again, her eyes closing very quickly.
"Bela!" The angel shouted, shaking her to wake her. "Bela wake up! Wake up!" Now he was roaring, spitting insults at the crowd and swearing in Enochian because she wouldn't just open her eyes. "Bela, I love you." Another smile crossed her lips, but it was her last. Bela Talbot was no more. He disappeared with her in his arms and laid her down on the couch, crying. First Anna, then Cas, now Bela… He had no one. No one at all. He clenched his fists and flew to the facility he just locked up, heading through the stacks of weapons to find the staff of Moses. He cracked the case open and split it into several parts before disappearing off, determined to get her back with a few souls.
When Balthazar found Castiel to be alive again, it eased the pain in his chest. When he found that Castiel was working with the Winchesters, a new one took his place. Why, why on Heaven and Earth would Castiel believe it wise to work with the Winchesters? Balthazar couldn't understand it. But when Castiel opened his mouth and said that he had been upset when he thought Balthazar was dead, he couldn't stay mad at his brother for long. After the Holy Fire song and dance, the two angels reappeared on a cliff overlooking the sea to catch up, but Balthazar didn't say much. He just let Castiel explain the situation in Heaven while he nodded along. Balthazar stopped listening halfway through and just stared off, thinking about how much Bela would have liked the view from up here.
"How is Bela Talbot, Balthazar?" Castiel asked at the end of his speech, but Balthazar barely looked up until he heard her name, and even then he just looked away. What could he even say? She was dead. So very dead.
"She's gone. Dead. You should leave, Castiel." The other angel didn't argue with his older brother, and just disappeared off into the night.
Balthazar put most of his energy into helping Castiel with the war effort, even if he had stopped caring about Heaven long ago and cared more about blowing coke and jumping on the bed because why should he even try? What was there to exist for anymore? However, it was quickly becoming apparent that Cas was growing more and more corrupt by the day. The day that Balthazar teamed with the Winchesters, he hopped into the shower in his house, the heat on full blast, and tried to remember Bela's voice, her laugh, the way she'd smile when he sang to her in his native tongue, but it was all a memory now.
He showed up in the warehouse, knowing that Cas wasn't going to be very flexible, but wasn't afraid. He had nothing anymore, and if he didn't at least try to talk Castiel off the edge, he'd smite himself. "You'll always have little ol' me." He said to his brother before being stabbed through the stomach, his Grace flickering until it burst, blowing out all of the windows. The angel landed on the ground, blood pooling out onto the burned-out wings on the floor. Castiel stepped over his brother's body, not feeling a smidge of remorse… No. He was too far gone.
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
A woman in white got out of a cab and walked up the path to the house. The lawn was atrociously overgrown, and she was wearing a ridiculous hat that was supposed to be posh but would look incredibly gaudy on someone who was any less beautiful. Her hands were gloved in leather, and she hesitated before knocking on the door. There was a package tucked under her arm and wrapped in brown paper, tied with a string, but she didn't seem very interested in it. The woman tapped her foot impatiently on the porch before pulling a bobby pin out of her hair to use to fudge the lock.
Once she got into the house, she walked everywhere, up every stair, through every door before settling into the library, the veil from the hat still covering her eyes. She sat down gingerly on one of the couches and placed the package in her lap. A tear dropped down onto the paper, creating a dimple in the crinkles, and she slipped a finger under the twine holding it together. When it was completely unwrapped and the paper landed at her feet, she held the horn in her hands and shook her head. Suddenly, a man appeared behind her, placing a careful hand on her shoulder to console her.
"I always knew you'd come back for me." She said, her lips twitching between a feeble smile and a frown. "But I didn't want it to be like this."
"I know, my love. But together in death is better than not together at all."
The End