Hello. Just a small warning, this fic is going to be a little bit...depressing. Not in violence or blood, more in themes. Just watch yourself.
Can I ask you something?
Tell me, what was your dream when you were young? Mine? It was to be a mechanic.
Why? I wanted to. Well...to be more precise my dad was one. Like father like son, no? And before you ask...no. I'm not a qualified mechanic. I failed. And when my father found out he...you know what, that's unimportant right now.
What's more important is telling you this story. A story about love and that stuff. Or is this
really a story about life. Either of which, it's a story about me, and how I learned to really live and love.
By now, you probably wondering who I am. You don't need to know my name, however, it would help if you now my age, which is 41. It might also help if you know I'm a human, of course, and that I'm male. I'm not married or in any relationship, and I have no family to speak of, both my own and my relatives. Which I'm a little bit thankful for, even if that sounds a bit...well wrong.
And by now you're probably wondering what I do, which is nothing more than working in a shop. A convenience shop, to be precise. It...well it isn't a bad place to work, per say, but it isn't that job I want. Sadly it's the only job I could get.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I do not really hate it there. The pay is fine, and the other employees aren't mean at all, even the manager is not that bad. But at the same time, I don't really consider them my friends. Not because I dislike them, more because I don't know them enough to call them my friends. It's not because they don't like me either. I guess it's just because I never really tried to get to know them better. I...really should have. Working there for over ten years, you'd think we'd know each other better. But no. I'm just another worker really. They aren't what one would consider as friends. At least, I don't really.
Not that I have any other friends to speak of anyway.
I...yeah I live alone. Just in a simple one-bedroom apartment. I get paid enough for rent, thankful that it wasn't expensive. I don't regularly speak to anyone. Don't go out much either. Tend to spend my free time watching TV and such. Sometimes going out for a drink or two. Try not to too much, I still need my money to pay for stuff like food and rent. Priorities, eh?
By now, you're wondering where I'm going with this. Well it all started one day, one regular, late autumn afternoon. I was on my break, and as always I bring my own lunch. Not really much, just consisting of a sandwich and drink, with potato crisps and biscuit, usually. Same as that day.
Anyway, I'm allowed some time off during my break. But unlike I normally do, which is stay inside and have my lunch in the breakroom. Instead I felt an urge to do something different. Rather I took it outside.
The small town I live in is surrounded in trees and hills. And on the few occasions I feel like I need to go outside for a walk I tend to walk around the woods that surround it. They weren't thick or easy to get lost in, but they were usually baren from other people. I just guess nobody really likes taking a random walk every now and again.
Uhhh, like I was just saying I took my lunch with my outside and headed into the woods. I knew where I wanted to go, as I once say a fallen log lying down on the ground one walk a few days ago from when I am now. I figured that was a good place to sit down, and I knew where it was. I sat down and looked around.
Like I said before, it was autumn, and by now most of the leaves were off and fallen to the ground in their orange or brown or red or whatever colours. The air was cold, though I had my jacket on, and the area was silent. You might still see a random Pokemon every now and again; some flying, some running, some up in the trees, it was always a welcoming sight to behold. Tree's were placed wherever they grew, and they were quite tall too, and spread out enough to make you feel you had a lot of room.
I pulled out my sandwich from my bag and bit into it. It was a lettuce, tomato and cheese sandwich before you ask though you probably don't care. Looking around I admired the scenery. It was...nice, I guess I never cared for such things as beauty. I could admire it, but but could never get into it. The many dead leaves on the ground where quite a sight, I had to admit.
As I had another bite I heard a rustling noise. Curiosity led me to turn around and stare into the face of a Pokemon that stood not too far away from me. It was a small Pokemon, white underbelly with a orange top coat, a yellow tuft was on it's head as it stood on all fours. I knew what this Pokemon was, living here you get to know about about the surrounding wildlife, even if you didn't care that much. This was a Deerling.
"Uhhh hey." I said casually to it, expecting to run off as soon as I talked, but instead it didn't move, rather, it seemed to stare deeper at me. I looked around the area but saw no other Pokemon. That's weird, I thought to myself, where are the others. I never knew much about Pokemon, but I knew this one lived in herds.
Where was the herd? I saw no others. Was it alone?
After a few seconds I stopped caring and turned back around. Nothing to do with me. I decided to keep eating and ignore the Pokemon behind me. As I did I still had the nagging feeling in me. I looked back and saw the Deerling was now closer to me. I could see more of its facial features and I saw what not was only curiosity, but also sadness. I knew the look all too well, I can thank my mirror for that. I guess I just thought at the time it was hungry or something, so I pulled out my lettuce from my sandwich and presented it to her, making sure that my cheese and tomato slices remained intact.
Tentatively, the Deerling moved cautiously forward, slowly getting nearer and nearer. When it was near enough it leaned forward and practically ripped the lettuce leaf out my hand before running off into the forest. It didn't stop until it was out of sight.
I really had no idea to react to that. I just sat there for a few moments until I gathered my stupid self back to reality and finished eating.
After that, the day continued on for me as normal.
That day after, I repeated what I had done for my lunch. Everyday's the same to me, so why not add this to the things I forever repeat, I thought at one time. The same as yesterday, I brought my lunch with me, same sandwich as before, of course. I sat but before I could take a bite, I heard a noise from behind me, looking back, I saw it was the same Deerling as before I presumed. Looked the same, but don't they all? Regardless, I pulled my lettuce leaf out as before and she immediately took it and ran off.
I really didn't care about the lettuce.
For over a week, the same thing happened over and over again. I came here for lunch, same time everyday, brought my same lunch, saw the same Deerling, gave it the same food and watched it run off.
I really didn't know when, but slowly she seemed the Deerling got more comfortable around me. She stopped running off when I handed her my food, and instead seemed to opt to just watch me eat. She looked at me the same, curiosity and wonder, I could presume. Honestly I don't know why she stayed to watch me eat, but I don't know Pokemon at all.
Wait...have I been saying she now? Well, in case you're wondering, now would be a good time to tell you that one time when running off, I saw her trip and fall forward. I didn't laugh at her, haven't really done for a long time actually, but what I did do was accidentally see I rather feminine looking slit between her legs when she stood back up. When she looked back at me I could see the embarrassment plastered on her face, along with a rather noticeable blush on her cheeks. Didn't know Pokemon could do that. It quickly scampered off after that.
Actually, can anyone tell me why you never see a Pokemon's junk until it's ready to use? Seriously, the female I can't understand a bit, but the males...where are their balls? Do they just disappear into their body until ready. Really, we have our kids around them and never notice it? Uh, I'm just getting off track now.
Where was I...Oh yes. Day after day I repeated this ritual, so to speak. In fact, one day I thought it was a nice idea to bring some apple slices for her. No real reason really just thought it was a nice thing to do to my companion, I guess. Like almost everyday before me, I walked there, same time as always, and was waiting for the Deerling to show her face for me.
But...she never came. I waited for a bit before tucking into my own food. She never showed up. I couldn't wait there all day, so I got back to work not long after. Strange, I thought to myself.
I tried again the next day, but again, no Deerling.
Same the next. Nothing.
I don't know how long it had been, about a week or so, I presume, until one day I returned there as normal. I seem to forget to tell you by now that I had Sundays off, a day of no work. So that day, I decided to return to that area as normal. Winter was now coming in, so I figured now was as good a time as ever.
To do what, you may ask?
To kill myself, that's what.
Yes, I said that right. I was going to remove myself from this earth.
And no, I didn't care what others thought. This was not some heat of the moment thing, I...I've been thinking this way for a long time. I didn't care at this point.
Listen, I have nothing. No family. No friends. No hobby. No life. All I have is depressing apartment and a job that's just a job. I have no-one. I guess...really I just thought that with the Deerling no longer coming by was what pushed me over the edge. It's not as if I wasn't already teetering there already.
Honestly there's a good chance the Deerling was just delaying the inevitable, I guess. Who knew? No one, let's face it.
There's no going back. I thought. No one is gonna care. I said to myself at the time. It's not as if there's anything worth leaving behind, now is there?
I had already made my way to the log and sat down, in my hands was a brown plastic bag. I reached in and took out my object that will take away my life.
A handgun.
I...didn't shoot myself straight away. Really I just...sat there and looked at it. It was a revolver, black body, wooden finish handle, fully loaded. I don't know guns. I just bought it at a pawn shop. Cheapest one there was. Though, not that it mattered. I guess it's just the rhythm of buying cheap.
I sighed then, wrapping my left fingers around the handle and pulling it upwards so the barrel rested on the left side of my head, aimed at my brain. I deeply breathed in and out.
This was it. All I had to do was pull the trigger and all the pain, suffering and depression this world has giving me would be gone. All I needed to do now was do one swift movement with my fingers and the world would disappear in my eyes forever. I glanced around, looking at the landscape. I could just barely see the town in the clearing. I doubt anybody would care what happens. Not like I care for it either.
I...this was it. Slowly I reached my finger round and gripped the trigger. For what I thought was my final breath I breathed in and started to pull the trigger, ready to be rid of this world.
And then I stopped. I heard a somewhat distinct noise from behind. I don't what compelled me to stop but I did. Slowly I turned my head around, lowering the handgun away to stare at what I could call now the most beautiful sight I ever witnessed. Stood not too far away was no a Deerling like I've seen before so few times, but instead it's evolution from the Sawsbuck.
This one had a white underbelly instead of it's usual cream, it's chest tuft was also white, and larger and longer, it's hooves had large white fur around its lower limbs and it's antlers were completely white as well. It was in it's winter form now.
I just sat there, staying in awe at the Pokemon, who stared back in a mixture of interest and confusion. It took me a few moments to recollect what I was just about to do. I looked down at the handgun in my hand as my mind wondered.
I hadn't realized the Pokemon silently moving towards me until I looked back and saw it mere inches away from me.
And what did I do then and there? I sighed and said. "You're too late to stop me." I pulled the gun back up to my head and looked away, but in a flash I the Sawsbuck threw the gun out of my hand with a blow from it's antler, hitting my hand, as I watched the gun land unceremoniously somewhere on the leafy ground.
Was I angry? Was I annoyed? No. I was just...sad.
"Why?"
That's what I asked as the Pokemon moved around until it was facing my front.
"Why?"
The Sawsbuck now leaned in closer to my face.
"Why?"
And, in a turn I would never suspect, the Sawsbuck leaned it's mouth forward and took me into a kiss!
I didn't respond back.
I couldn't respond back.
Instead I done something I haven't done in a long time.
I cried.
I leaned my own body forward as I wrapped my arms around its neck, reciprocating it's kiss, somewhat thankful I am clean-shaven as I let out my emotions out.
I had no idea how much time had passed, not by very much, though, as I felt it move it's head back and stop the kiss to stare deep at me, and then I finally realized; those eyes that looked so familiar.
"Wait." I said as she lifted her head. "Your that female Deerling from before, aren't you?" It, well, she responded by nodding her head, then leaning back forward to lick my cheeks, probably to remove the tear stains. Again I wrapped my arms around and said softly into her ears: "Thank you."
That's not just what I said to her.
"If there's...anything I could do..." I trailed off from there. Not really expecting a response, I didn't register her action until I felt a movement around my...well my crotch area. I gasped as I felt her use her mouth and pull down my jeans. I...I did not know what to do then. Suddenly she started to sniff around my crotch and nudge at the growing hard-on in my underwear. She tucked her muzzle into that opening area in my pants and reached in, licking my hardening junk.
I hadn't realized at the time that she was starting to go through what it referred to as 'heat'. I can still remember a distinctive smell that wafted through my nose.
Yes, she started to fuck with me. Literally. What? I couldn't stop her then, I wasn't properly registering if what was happening was real or just me now in some kind of strange limbo.
This Sawsbuck, she was...just...I don't know. She stopped her actions to move back and turn her body 180 degrees around, showing her female organ and presenting it to me. I could see it was slightly wet and a thicker vulva than what I thought they would have.
Was this what she wanted me to do to her? Is this her thank you present? Did she even care for me?
She did. I don't know why, for a guy like me, but she so, so, so did.
For the first time in long...so very long time there she was a creature, not a human, a Pokemon, but still a creature, that cared for me, that wanted me.
Instinct came over me as I stood up, the Sawsbuck had her head turned round to look at me, awaiting my advance. I could see a deep blush on her cheeks when I saw her face.
But did I want this? That was the real question. But, for some reason, I felt like I did. Maybe it was the loneliness, maybe it was the lack of a sexlife or maybe it was because I cared for her back, but I felt myself wanting, no, needing this.
Tentatively, I reached forward and grabbed her behind, rubbing around her ass. I heard her moan in delight. I put my hand down and pulled out my cock as I aimed it for her hole.
"Are you ready?" I asked her who nodded in response. Like I said before, I let instinct become me as I pushed forward and moaned as I fully entered her. She moaned as well as my manhood was buried inside her. Taking no time I pulled out and pushed back in, taking my time as I fucked this Sawsbuck with little care of the outside world.
I groped her rear as I pulled it with me, going in motion with each thrust I pulled her in and each push I moved her out.
I couldn't believe the pleasure I was feeling. Each movement gave such ecstasy as I rammed her from behind, holding her rear in place as I pulled in and out of her cunny. The Sawsbuck herself was having trouble standing up, as I could see her legs buckle and shake, I swear I had to hold her up at one point. Not that I minded really. In fact, it was kind of hot.
I didn't know how long I lasted until I felt the pressure in my lower region become apparent. I didn't know how much longer I could last so I called out to her "I'm...gonna cum..." within seconds of saying that I let loose and came inside her. She screamed out in delight, moaning as she came as well, I suspected. I felt her body shift and move out my cock.
It took me a moment to regain myself, and when I did the first thing I did was put my cock back in my underwear and put my trousers back on as normal, with the cold air and all. The second thing I did was looking at female Pokemon I practically just fucked. Her body was strewn across the floor, her tongue was flopped out of her mouth and her breathing was getting back to normal.
At the time I leaned my body down and grabbed her underbelly, pulling her up, and held her up until she could regain her footing. It took her a moment to stop fumbling around, but when she did she moved off me and turned her body round to face me, looking at me with those ever-so curious eyes. I swear, I could still get lost in them.
I spoke to her straight after, mumbling only two words: "Thank you." I reached my arms round and brought her into a deep hug, her own head rested on my shoulder as I felt her chest tuft rub up against me. It felt so warm. A minute before I let go. At the time, I was going to ask her why, just why, but of course, I remembered that Pokemon don't reply in human speak, of course, so instead I asked her one simple question.
Would you like to come back with me?
And she nodded. I hugged her as I smiled wider than I ever thought I could. As I, well, we, made our back to my, now our, home, I stopped as I felt my feet hit something; my gun. I grabbed it and looked at it for a few seconds before I heard a soft grunt next to me. I looked to my left and saw the Sawsbuck look at me with pleading; eyes the told me not to do what I was about to do earlier.
I wasn't.
I won't.
And with her by my side, I never will. All I did with the revolver was take it back and got a refund. It's not something I'd ever need in life.
Now, you may be asking yourself what the moral of the story is.
Is it suicide should never be a last resort?
Is it to always see the better side of life?
No, as honestly I don't know the morale of this story. Actually if I have to guess, it would be 'not matter who you are, how bleak you feel, and about how much you think life would be better without you, there will always be someone, somewhere who does care for you. You may not realize, but they really would be sad with you out of their life.'
If I had to guess. I'm not a story-teller, now am I.
And now you may be wondering why I told you this? And the answer is really:
Does it matter now? You've read it this far, does it matter why? No, because let me tell you, ever since she has become a part of my life, sleeping alongside her with my arms around, being the first thing I see when I get back home from work, I now have a new leash on life.
I'm happy now.
I really, really am.
Well, that was a bit different, no? Sorry for any mistakes, first time doing this sort of thing.
Hope you enjoyed.