I bet some of you are thinking "Oh my god, not another parody!" Well, too bad! When I am bored, I poke fun at things. Just be glad I don't poke you!
Just to say, I have nothing against a good AyakaxAsuna pairing. I am just getting some of the worst ones out of my system. Read and enjoy! You know, if I keep doing these I might have to put them all into one story.
This goes out to Jennon-Donnon specifically, because he does like this pairing.
Disclaimer: If I owned Negima, Zazie would be a regular character. I do not, so we must all wait for Akamatsu-dono to write about her.
-o-
Asuna was cleaning up after school. Nobody knows why she was doing this, she seemed to be doing more harm than good. A huge pile of broken desks were all there was to show for her trouble.
Leaving the classroom finally, she decided to start running. After all, when one runs, one covers ground faster. So off she ran, skipping as if she had not a care in the world.
Before she got very far, she ran into the bane of her existence. Ayaka Yukihiro, class rep and suck-up extraordinaire.
"Oh ho ho ho. What is the monkey doing here this late? Going on a banana run?" Ayaka said insultingly.
"Like I'd have stayed here this late if I knew you were going to be here. I can't stand you! I would rather get run over by a train than talk to you!" Asuna replied in a huff.
"Yeah? Well I would rather get shot by Mana!"
"I would rather have an airplane crash into me!"
"I would rather have my own horse trample me to death!"
"I'd rather starve!"
"I'd rather go on a date with Jennon-Donnon!" (a/n only because she loves you secretly, man.)
Asuna glared at Ayaka and got quiet after that, but if anyone leaned really close they'd have heard her mumble "that was low."
Ayaka returned the glare, in full force.
Asuna tensed up, fist's clenched. Her counterpart did the same, and it seemed a fight was about to break out.
Tension filled the air between them, so thick it could practically be seen. And only one thing could happen with that much tension in the air.
They mated like bunnies.
-o-
Asuna returned to her dorm later, slightly embarrassed at what she had just done. Her neck bore three purple blotches, Ayaka liked biting. Almost as much as Eva.
Immediately upon her return, Negi and Konoka snapped to attention. Negi spoke up first. "Asuna, what happened? Whats with those bruises on your neck? Were you attacked?"
Asuna shook her head, still in a daze. "No, nothing like that."
"Then what happened?" Konoka asked worriedly.
"Promise not to get angry?" Asuna queried.
"You have our solemn vow." This from the child teacher.
"I just got done having lesbian sex with Iincho."
Negi and Konoka shared a look, before both broke into a smile. "Is that all? We were suspecting that for some time now."
Asuna looked shocked. "I was that obvious with my love for Ayaka even though I act like I hate her?"
"Oh yes, we've been expecting it to happen for ages." Konoka said, all giddy-like. "We expected you to go lez a while ago, and we totally support it. Now go get her, tiger!" this was said as she pushed her towards the door.
Asuna sniffed, happy that she had such great friends. Without another word said, she went to look for Ayaka.
-o-
It didn't take her all that long to find her, she just went back to the classroom, and she was waiting.
"Well lookie here, the monkey is back."
"Screw you, Ayaka!"
"No, screw you!"
"Screw you!"
And so they did.
-o-
Asuna emerged from the classroom, neck sporting new marks. She was finally able to admit the long-standing love she had for Ayaka, and that she only fought with her every second because that's what love is all about. Why else would there be so many wife beaters on Jerry Spinger?
So they graduated, and got married. They then had babies, but how nobody knew. They lived happily ever after until Ayaka was kidnapped by Chao and taken to mars to populate the planet, and Jennon was the one made to copulate with her. Asuna, in her loneliness, got in on the Konoka and Setsuna action and lived happily ever after. Again.
-o-
Ugh, short and I don't like how it came out. I just wanted to finish writing it, but it is still fairly decent.
Review if you would, I am lonely. (sad face)
And if anyone has any good ideas or stereotypes that just BEG to be parodied, leave it in a review and I will see what I can do.