Breaking Dawn had me laughing with all the Blonde Rosalie Jokes, so I found a few blonde jokes on the internet.
Bella, a brunette, Alice , also a brunette, and Rosalie, a blonde, were hanging out until some dudes came and kidnapped them.
They took Bella , pointed a gun at her and said "Ready, aim-"
bella screamed "FLOOD!"
The guys looked around to see if there was any water around and Gabriella escaped.
They grabbed Alice, pointed the gun at her and said "Ready, aim-"
Alice screamed "DUST STORM!"
The guys looked around to see if there was any dust and she escaped.
They finally grabbed Rosalie , pointed the gun to her and said "Ready, aim-"
Suddenly, Rosalie screamed "FIRE!"
And they shot her.
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Rosalie Hale was so stupid that...
-she called me to get my phone number.
-she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
-she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
-she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
-she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
-she tried to drown a fish.
-she thought a quarterback was a refund.
-she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
-she tripped over a cordless phone.
-she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
-she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
-she studied for a blood test.
-she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
-when she heard that 90 of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
-when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
-when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
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A police officer stops Rosalie Hale for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
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Q: Why are there no ice cubes in Rosalie's freezer?
A: She forgot the recipe.
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NEW INVENTIONS BY Rosalie Hale
The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlight
Submarine screen door
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart board
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chair
Water proof tea bags
Zero proof alcohol
Reusable ice cubes
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
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A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches Rosalie Hale, the driver.
"Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"
Rosalie replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
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Q: How do you keep Rosalie Hale busy for hours?
A: Scroll down...
Scroll up...
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One day Rosalie Hale walked into the doctor's office with 2 red ears.
The doctor asked what happened.
She said "I was ironing and the phone rang and I picked up the iron by mistake.
"What happened to the other ear?" the doctor asked.
"They called back."
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Ok, I was really bored when I made this story so, there you go. REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks
~lollifox~