December 24th 2015
Christmas eve
1:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
(Skipper's POV)
"Kowalski status report!" I shouted. "We are approaching our destination," Kowalski replied. "Rico make sure we don't run into santa I do not want a repeat of the incident!" "What incident?" Private said. "Santa getting knocked to earth and loosing his memories," Kowalski said, "followed by us getting mocked by the reindeer." "Next stop the North Pole let hope the North Polers aren't there," I said. "We are near the geographic North Pole," Kowalski shouted. "Private status on our cargo!" I said. "Cargo is secure," Private said.
Kowalski was over at the radar system, "Skipper we have an incoming bogey!" "what?" I said. "What false alarm," Kowalski said, "it's just a fighter jet." "Unauthorized aircraft you are infringing on Russian airspace!" "Kowalski," I said, "I thought you said their's no military portals out right now?" "I was wrong," Kowalski said. "And I thought you said we would stay in American airspace?" "Looking at the GPS…we may have drifted." "Then get us back in US airspace," I said. The Pilot nodded and quickly steered us back into America airspace. Too U.S airforce jets appeared behind us. "Attention Unauthorized aircraft you are infringing on U.S. Airspace." "WE can't win can we?" I said. "This is a UNIT aircraft please turn around immediately," Kowalski replied. "Acknowledged!" The Fighter Jets that were trailing us suddenly turned and left. "Nice One Kowalski," I said.
And then a white North Wind Jet appeared, "Skipper what are you doing here," Classified said, "what were you thinking going into Russian airspace!" "This is a covert mission," I said. "You are carrying unknown cargo thru the airspace of a two warring countries," Classified replied, "Turn back to New York Immediately…" "No can do Classified," I said, "we have a promise to fulfill." "Don't do anything to antagonize the Russian forces…WE do not want to be compromised in the middle of a World War!" The North Wind Jet then turned away in an angry burst of speed.
"Skipper," Kowalski said, "we're here." "Then let's drop off our cargo and blow this popsicle stand!" I said. The Super-Plane hovered over the middle of santa's village/workshop and our cargo was lowered to the ground. One of the remaining guardians appeared to inspect the newly arrived crate. Private waved to the everyone down below as rope's connecting the crate to the super plane were cut. "Next time you want us to fly thru a warzone…make sure to call first!" I shouted. "We have incoming from the russian side of the artic," Kowalski said looking at the radar display. "Rico take the wheel," I said "Initiate warp drive." Rico took the wheel then initiated warp drive and the Super-plane rocketed away only to end up over Moscow. "Rico you were suppose to point the plane in the direction of home not Russia!" I said. The Pilot chimp pushed Rico aside and turned the plane around. "Unauthorized aircraft you are infringing on russian airspace!" a voice with a heavy Russian accent and a hint of hostility announced.
"Let's bug out," I said as Helicopters and jets appeared from all sides and Tanks appeared on the streets below. "Force field on maxiuim power," I said. "Force field is on," Kowalski as missiles exploded nearby. Warp drive was activated again and we rocketed away from Moscow only to find our selves in Denmark near the Finnish border. A Police helicopter appeared next to us, "This is the PPF you will land your aircraft then put your flippers in the air where I can see them!" "The PPF?" Private asked. "Puffin Police Force," Kowalski replied. "Just a quick trip over he border and we'll be in finland where the PPF has no jursidication," I said. "The Border is five miles away," Kowalski said, "we won't make not with a helicopter on our tails!" "Five miles eh? Double banana overdrive!"
Bananas drop down from their boxes and the Chimps running the engines went into overdrive. The Plane sped on ahead the Helicopter on our tails. "Slow down! You will be shot down if you don't land immediately!" "In your dreams," I said, "and tell the PIA merry Christmas." "from who?" "Skipper!" "Public enemy number one! IF you think I'm just going to let you fly out of here…Not a chance! And I think captured public enemies one, two, three, and four will the perfect Christmas present of PIA(Puffin Intelligence agency)!" "Too late," I said, "we are speeding towards the finnish border where the puffin police have no power!" "You will not make it to your destination!" the helicopter pilot replied. "We have made it to our destination," Kowalski announced as we flew over the Finnish border. "The PPF may not have jursidication in Finland but PIA does!" A Apache Helicopter marked PIA appeared in the distance and sped over the finnish border. "I hope you enjoyed you freedom Skipper," a familiar voice said, "but you won't escape the puffin intelligence agency for long…" "Hans," I said, "Your with PIA!" "Yes…this whole time actually," Hans said. "what!" "The Hoboken Zoo is the location of a secret PIA base," Hans said, "You made a mistake sending me there."
"Well send this message to your superiors at PIA…Merry Christmas and a happy new year," I said, "and also World War Three may interfere with your operations!" "PIA will fight thru the Russians and the Americans if we have to…in order to get to you!" "So your Danish citizenship was restored," I said. "Yes Skipper," Hans said, "and my name cleared." "Even though you framed me and it was all your fault!" "PIA is willing to over looking some details even disregard the danish government in order to get agents." "Kowalski activated the Teleport,' I said. "Where are you teleporting?" Hans said. "The one place you don't have jursidication in," I said. "Where?" Hans said. "America," I said. "for now," Hans said before we teleported out of finland leaving a enraged hans before. "This is Hans the puffin to PIA command," Hans said from inside his helicopter, "The American divison of PIA needs to be reactivated…if we have any hope of getting our penguin." "Acknowledged," PIA command said, "In fact we want you in charge of the American divison…we have arranged covert transport to America return to base…" "Hans the Puffin returning to base." The apache turned around and headed back in the direction of Copenhagen.
New York, New York
9:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
Penguin HQ
"Skipper let's not go back to the polar region for a while," Kowalski announced. "agreed," I said. "What about PIA," Private asked. "Don't worry they can't touch us in our home country," I replied. "Unless they have an American division," Kowalski said. "American division? They don't even have jurisdiction here," I said. "We hope," Nigel said as he climbed down in the base. "Uncle Nigel!" Private said, "what are you doing here?" "Well Private my boy," Nigel said, "it is Christmas!" "Christmas eve actually," Kowalski said. "I plan on staying until tomorrow," Nigel said. "Rico…check to make sure the spare bunk still works." "Rico found the secret control panel and pushed a button. A extra bunk decended from the ceiling and was lowered to Nigel's height. Rico then tested the bunk abitilty to get back to it's storage position in the ceiling. "We have a spare bunk?" Kowalski said.
"No…we have two spare bunks," I replied. "Oh," Kowalski said, "Private did you know about the spare bunks?" "I thought he was joking about the spare bunks," Private replied. "I never joke about our guest accomadations!" I replied. Julian, Mort, and Maurice appeared, "Why do we have to be here at the silly penguin party!" Julian demanded. "We are not going to your new year's countdown if you don't celebrate Christmas with us." "Why aren't we with the rest of the zoo celebrating Kidsmas!" Julian said. "Kidsmas doesn't officially start until tomorrow morning," I said. "It's weird how we managed to get it all ready in 2 hours," Kowalski said. "Well the preparations for kidsmas go much faster when…" "When Your not looking for santa magic," Private said. "when you don't steal the Rockefeller Christmas tree," Julian said, "or trying to one-up you guys." "exactly," I said, "we'll join the festivities tomorrow morning!" I said. "Three days of uninterrupted fun," Kowalski added. "I Can't wait for that," Private said. "This year is going to be the best one yet," Marlene said. Elsa and Anna arrived near the penguin habitat along with Astrid and Hiccup. "I'll be right back," Kowalski said grabbing the penguinfication gun.
After being penguinfied our guest followed Kowalski back into the base. "is it weird that I don't mind being a penguins?" Astrid said. "No not at all," Kowalski said. "How's berk these days," I said. "Still rebuilding from the dalek attack," Hiccup said, "and a bit flatter then I remember it…but suprising the Daleks only leveled half of the island." "Wow the daleks are getting lazy with their aiming of The Death Deam," I replied, "Kowalski begin our authorized music!" "jingle bell rock" (I suggest you play this…or any Christmas song for that matter… right now) blared out of our radio and echoed around the base. "Oh I like this song," Private said. "It never get's old," Kowalski replied.
"engage Yule log on my mark…Engage!" I shouted. "Yule log in engaged!" Kowalski shouted turning on the TV. "Rico I need that christmas tree…you know the drill," I said. Rico hack up a chainsaw and got to work on a block of ice. "You were right," Julian said, "he does do a fantasic ice tree…" Rico finished the ice tree while Kowalski got out the eggnog. "eggnog?" Kowalski said. Nigel held up a cup of tea, "I'm good old chap," Nigel replied, "Private you did a bang up job with this tea." "Now about the feast," Nigel said, "I do a killer fish n' chips." "Um…we have the feast all planned out," I said, "but you can make us breakfast," I said. "Not with you enjoying holiday festivities with the families of central park," Nigel replied. "Fine you can make the whole zoo breakfast if you want," I said. "A traditional English Christmas breakfast," Nigel said, "would you like bangers and mash with that?" "Bangers?" I said. "English sausage that originated during the London blitz when the whole city was London was being bombed day in and day out," Kowalski said. "thank you for the history lession," I said.
"Why must your time be filled with war," Elsa said. "well your time has the war of 1812," I said. "fair point," Elsa replied. "Also I belive the American civil war," Kowalski said. "Kowalski are you done," I said. "Yes," Kowalski said. "We are here to have a good time…not a history lecure," I said. "I actually agree with him," Nigel replied. "We brought herring," Anna said. "Norgegian herring," Kowalski said. "Put it with the salmon and the other fish." "Now who wants eggnog!" I said. "Eggnog! Eggnog! Eggnog!" Rico said, "EGGNOG!" Classified and the North Wind arrived, "is this a bad time?" "No," I said. "Sorry North Wind," Kowalski said, "but your going to have to be penguinfied!" "What!" Classified said, "I am not have team turned into a bunch of ludicrous butterballs!" "We're not asking," Elsa said fired the penguinfication gun before the North Wind could protest. Not used to penguin bodies the North Wind fell thru the hatch. "How did you…" "How hard is it to pull a trigger?" Elsa asked. "I am not having any fun," classified said. "neither am I," short fuse said. "why do I have to be stuck as a flightless penguin!" Eva said.
"And that is exactly why we broke up!" Kowalski said, "always bragging about your ability to fly!" "And how is a dolphin any better," Eva said. "At least she understands how it's like for a flightless bird," Kowalski said. "Eggnog?" I said. Corporal rasied his…flipper. "The Polar bear is taking being a penguin exceptionally well," Kowalski replied. "You turn us all into penguin against our will," Classified said. "Why do you think I'm not annoying the penguins as much," Julian said. "yeah," Maurice said, "it's been the best time of my life so far." "I want to stay the self-proclaimed king of the lemurs and not became a King Penguin," Julian said, "did you see what I did there?" "Funny," Kowalski said, "I have it set to little blue penguin right now." "So I'll be smaller then you!" "Um…yes," Kowalski said, "don't test me!" "Anyway back to the eggnog!" I said. "chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" Kowalski, private, astrid, and I said, "come on Rico no man can barely hold his nog," I said. "this is good eggnog," Elsa said.
"Skipper Ted the polar bear is real lonely again," Private said. "I am not having a repeat of 2005!" I replied. "Why what happened in 2005?" Anna said. "classified," I said. Rico Finished his eggnog and let out one massive burp. "again?" Marlene said. "Okay then," I said facing away from the Tv let's… "Merry Christmas Pen-gu-wins!" Blowhole said. We all turned around, "For the last time stay off our TV!" I said. "In your dreams Pen-gu-wins!" the voice of Doris echoed from the background, "Francis what are you doing!" "Sis," Dr. Blowhole said, "what are you doing here can't you see I'm talking with my arch-foes!" The North Wind grabbed Kowalski and left, "Depenguinfiy us now!" Classified replied. "Ah-ah-ah you didn't say the magic word," Kowalski replied. "Please!" Their was a flash of light followed by the sounds of the north wind departure. Blowhole was pushed off screen by doris, 'this is the last year Blowhole will interrupt your Christmas with his insults."
The Lobsters pushed Doris back off screen, "That's it!" Blowhole said, "I had it! I'm coming for you Pen-gu-wins!" "what is your plan?" I said. "I have a cloning machine," Blowhole replied. "Which means…" I said. "Which means…The Fire Queen has been revived!" Blowhole announced. "What no," I said. "Yes," Blowhole replied, "of course I made her think my plan involved bringing her back…I Dr. Francis Blowhole The War Master will have victory in the Final DreamWorks war," Blowhole replied. A tied up doris was wheeled behind Blowhole, "Sorry sis but you left me no choice," Blowhole replied, "Kowalski break up with my sister…or I will destroy her!' "Your own sister?" Kowalski said. "To get to you yes," Blowhole said. "Don't make me get mother involved in this!" Doris warned. "You wouldn't dare," Blowhole said. A phone rang in the background, "Who forgot to put there phone on vibrate!" Blowhole shouted. "Um…doc," Red One said, "it's the Your Mother Has Arrived Alarm!" "What I thought I told you to deadlock the doors!" Blowhole said. Another voice came from behind the camera, "Blowhole I am so disappointed in you…end this transmission now!" "I'm in the middle of mocking my foes!" Blowhole said. "Three…two…don't make me get your father out here!" "Red one end the transmission," Blowhole said.
"The Great War Master," I mocked, "defeated by his mother." "Do not patronize me Pen-gu-wins," Blowhole said. "Also why are you so afraid of your dad," I said. "That's none of your business Pen-gu-wins," Blowhole said as he ended the transmission. "So who wants to crave their names in the snow?" I asked.
11:30 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
"Feasting time," I said. Rico was playing with a knife(again). "Hey," I said, "not at the table!" "Does he do that every year," Anna asked. "Every day," Kowalski whispered. On our table was smoked salmon, Norwegian Herring, Tuna, Sushi, two cartons of eggnog, cranberry sauce, chopped onion, the allusive polish sauerkrutt, some bags of cheesy dibbles, and a plate of Nigel's famous fish n' chips. "Um…why are the chips French fries?" Anna said. "Anna," Elsa warned. "In England French Fries are called chips and Potato chips are called crisps," Kowalski explained. "Thank you for that information," I replied.
After a few ackward minutes we begin to eat, "Kowalski hand me some of that sauerkrutt!" "Rico can you past me some sushi," Private said. "Skipper can you hand me the eggnog!" Kowalski said. I handed Kowalski one of the eggnog cartons. "This is delicious," Astrid replied. "It's just fish," Hiccup replied. Elsa threw a snowball in Hiccup's face, "just eat it already." "That Rico is a master of sushi," Nigel replied, "I must admit." "We're having an international Christmas dinner tonight," Kowalski said. "Kowalski can you hand me some cheesy dibbles?" "Sure," Kowalski replied handing Private a bag. "How can you eat those things?" Marlene asked. Julian was loudly munching on some cheesy dibbles. "Um…Your majesty," Maurice said. "What?" Julian said. Marlene glared at Julian, "Oh…Um…hi marlene." "I like cheesy Dibbles," Mort said. "You didn't even have any," Julian said, "You don't even know what they taste like." "I don't have to know to like," Mort said. "How does that work exactly," Marlene said. "How does what work?" Mort said.
"How is that lemur so dumb?" Nigel asked Maurice. "I have no idea," Maurice replied. "Mort what is Kowalski's password to his safe," Julian asked. "Doris," Mort said. "Nice try I changed the password," Kowalski replied. "Eva," Mort replied. "No that's not even close!" Kowalski replied. "What happened with Eva anyway," Marlene said. "It didn't work out," Kowalski replied, "But I got Doris now." "Macguffium 239" Mort replied. "how did you…" Kowalski said. "Oh the element that kowalski always needs for inventions," Julian said. "How was he even able to say Macguffium 239," Kowalski replied. "It's not the hard to say," I replied. "Onions Skipper," Private asked. "No I'm good," I said, "I have my allusive polish sauerkrutt." Rico hacked something up, "Is that a pair of…gold teeth?" Marlene asked. "I was wondering where that went," Kowalski said. "I thought I told you to get rid of those teeth capped in gold," I said.
"Um…when did you get gold teeth?" Marlene said. "I bought them so I could eat apples…sadly I discovered that I don't like apples," I said. "How on earth did you have enough money to have them capped in gold?" Marlene said. "remember when I told you about that gambling spree in monte carlo," I said. "We had enough money to buy an airbus A-280," Kowalski muttered. "Your still mad about the Airbus A-280!" I shouted. "Yes," Kowalski replied. "We ended up spending most of money on a circus…but had enough left over for this." "So you didn't even like apples and you bought I anyway?" Marlene asked. "I didn't know that I didn't like apples until after I bought these." "Rico destroy them," I said. "No these gold teeth belong to the king now," Julian said. Maurice whispered something in julian's ears, "Okay they don't belong to the king now," julian replied.
Shortly…
The Feast was mostly gone so I decide to make a toast, "I just want to say…Merry Christmas Everyone. Here's to many more Christmases and to a happy new year." "I'll toast to that," Kowalski said, "merry Christmas!" "And…" "Don't you even dare break the fourth wall," Kowalski said. "And a very merry christmas to everyone at home…again," I said. "You just had to do that," Kowalski said, "oh that reminds me…I have to change the password on my safe!" Kowalski rushed to the secret elevator and decended to top secret level thirteen. "It's twelve-o-clock," I said, "Kidsmas is about to start!" "Then what are we waiting for?" Julian asked, "let's celebrate!"
We rushed out of the base and headed over to were this year's tree was waiting to be lit. Kowalski made sure to de-penguinfiy our human guests. Astrid, Hiccup, Anna, and Elsa were now fully back to normal and followed the rest of us to the celebrations. Eggy approached me and said, "thanks for coming Skipper penguin," eggy said. "That's my JJ!" Julian shouted from the distance. "I would never miss kidsmas," I said, "Roger start us off will you?" The alligator nodded and started to play on a piano…Once the song was started bada and bing started to sing…
Bada: It's Christmas day but you're feeling low. With the cold grey skies and the yellow snow.
Bing: Something, something, something. Giba gaba gago.
Bada: But I'll tell you pal one thing you gotta know.
Bada and Bing: It ain't perfect but it's Christmas! So what if you didn't get all your Christmas wishes? There ain't a better day that's a better one than this is! Cause kid, it ain't perfect, Yo! But it's still Christmas!
Then everyone started to sing
Elsa: So Santa skipped the best things that were on your list.
Skipper: But solider tell that frown to cease and desist!
Marlene: You know when to look, You'll find Christmas bli-i-i-iss!
King Julien: Oh, that's pretty! We'll sing it one more time. Maybe you will catch the jist? Ha-ha-ha Ooof!
Everybody: It ain't perfect, but it's Christmas!
King Julien: Yes.
Everybody: So what a few days,
Mort: Had a few minor glitches?
Anna: Just clean up the mess…
Roger: and help your mom with the dishes.
Skipper: Cause kids...
Everybody: It ain't perfect, no! But its still Christmas! Christmas! Christmas! Christmas!
King Julien: Yea!
Everybody: Christmas!
Skipper: Ho ho ho ho ho!
With the song finished now let's move on to the tree lighting. "Okay Rico! Light it up!" I shouted. Rico pulled out a stick of dynamite, "Not what I meant," I said. "Oh…" Rico said pulling out a red button. Rico pushed the red button and our christmas tree lit up in a impressive light show. "Now that is a christmas tree," Julian replied. "All thanks to you julian," Private said. "Merry Christmas to All," Elsa said. "And to all a good night," I replied. "Potato!" Mort said.
Merry Christmas…